Saturday, April 13, 2013

Zombies just wanna smell good

Yet another story that questions our planet and some of those who live on it. Then again, we're referring to "how can we make money and cash in" factor. The fact that this piece stood out and is being shared with blog readers indicates that it's an intriguing concept if somewhat puzzling, especially for none-zombie-types.

A U.S. perfume manufacturer for whatever reason - maybe there are zombies in the family tree or something - has created a perfume specifically geared for zombies. Really. The perfume or zombie essence known as Zombie for Him and Zombie for Her, manufactured by Demeter Fragrance Library in New York, enable the "dead to simply pass without offending."

This leaves one - moi - to  ponder a) there are libraries that are making zombie perfumes and b) pass what without offending what or who? I mean, this leads one to contemplate upon the issue of where do zombies go, anyway, when they die before turning into the un-dead-ish? More important, why am I wondering about these things? But I digress.

Zombie for Him is a combination of dried leaves, mushrooms, mildew, moss and earth. An obviously very earthy combination of rot resulting in a delightfully blechy essence of decay. The Zombie for Her, on the other hand, is a slightly lighter version with a touch of wine dregs to give it an aromatic decay smell. Demeter perfume site,, targets their ideal purchaser as:

"So you're a Zombie. Or you know a Zombie. And you might become a Zombie. Any way you slice and dice it, you’ll need different kinds of fragrance. Fragrances that can make the dead simply pass by without offending. Because only Demeter Fragrance Library could make a Zombie fragrance eminently wearable."

Not sure what type of budget zombies have at their disposal but the 1oz. cologne spray sells for $20 while the 4oz. cologne spray is $49.50. It can be obtained on-line but there are no outlets mentioned where it can be purchased...yet. Thinking further, can you imagine a zombie entering a perfume outlet to buy the perfume.

I'd like a bottle of perfume

What type of perfume. We have so many brands...all the big designer names...

Gimme Zombie for Him!

You mean a fine fragrance for men?

I want Zombie for him

I see. You're referring to yourself in the third party. So which brand does he want?

Perfume for Him!

Don't take this the wrong way, sir, do have a odor and your body parts appear to be decaying. Perhaps you should go to the nearest hospital, instead of buying perfume.

Maybe I should bite off your arm!

You get the picture. By the way, there's a "100% Money Back Guarantee. No Questions Asked" policy. Wise decision on the part of the perfumerie, given their purchasers.

Sunday, April 07, 2013

Nothing sheepish about it - Paris has some ewes-ful grass cutters

It was, most likely, one of those "Eureka!" moments when somebody came up with a novel way of saving costs related to cutting grass. Not to mention the publicity and public relations value.

The Mayor of Paris, Bertrand Delanoe, an environmentally-friendly politician, is responsible for the bike-and-car-sharing program, the expansion of designated lanes for bikes and buses, in addition to a project to allow pedestrians to stroll along the banks of the Seine.

The Mayor isn't sheepish about his newest project, which ewes-es (little play on words there...very little) ovine power to keep grass short and sweet. He is using sheep, ewes to be specific, to graze the area around the Paris archives, replacing traditional lawnmowers. The sheep in question - all four of them who are on the small-ish side measuring 2 feet in height - will be make the trip by truck from their usual grazing place in Ouessant in Bretangne to Paris, for short periods in April and October. In order to ensure they perform their duties, they will be surrounded by a 3 foot high, yellow, electrified fence.

So I'm thinking here...while the addition of sheep to gnaw/nibble/whatever the grass is ewes-ful, and if they prove successful and a decision is made to expand the project in a big way, how will this go over with the city gardeners whose job is to cut grass? Taking it a step further and if the idea becomes popular with gardeners, the sheep could become a familiar fixture for your average home owner. Taking it still one step further than the last step (I'm a big step taker), owning a couple of sheep could become a status symbol.

"Did you see my luxury, very high end and expensive, new car?" one average home owner could comment to his neighbor in the way of a boast.

"Very nice but mowing the lawn is a thing of the past for us," the other average home owner would reply.

"You're hiring gardeners?" the new car owner would naturally and logically respond.

"Nothing so pedestrian. We're a two-sheep-family, now. No more lawn mowers. We let nature do it for us. We're eco-friendly other than the occasional goat bleat now and then. Did I mention that we also don't need fertilizer anymore?"

Meanwhile, here is a link to a photo of the sheep:

Do you see sheep in your future?