Friday, June 23, 2006


Heads up - or down as the case may be.

It never ceases to amaze me how serious toilet issues are in some parts of the world. There is the Toilet Summit, the Dry Toilet Conference, National Toilet Repair Month, all apparantly a flushing success.

Obviously, toilets make for big business and some people take their bathrooms very seriously. In Singapore for example, which has a reputation for clean washrooms, fifty toilet cleaners have been upgraded to the (?)new position of "restroom specialist." In fact they will be taking a 3-day session for the cleaners after which they will be known to all as specialists.

This leads one to wonder (at least I do) what's involved in becoming a "specialist" and the content of the courses. One can only speculate of course:

- toilet brush swirling 101, where recruits will be taught how to grasp a toilet brush by the handle and instructed the correct way to clean bowls, counter-clockwise

- toilet seat 'damp washing' 104 where cleaners will be instructed to rinse their cloths under running (not dripping) water and ring them out 20 times (not 21 or 19) until it is classified as damp. Wet seats do not encourage comfortable usage

- toilet paper roll replacement 201 whereby recruits are instructed as to replacing toilet paper rolls with the end facing the wall. Always. Without exception.

- stall washing 306

There is no information regarding graduation ceremonies but word has it that the grads are flushing with pride.

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