Twitter followers falling by the wayside. Calling Dr. T.W. Itter!

I'm developing a Twitter complex and there's very little, it appears, that I can do to remedy the situation.

"So tell us Eleanor," Dr. T.W.Itter, Psychiatrist, DFS (dropped follower specialist) would ask if consulted about the complex, "how did this come about?"

At which point I would answer Dr. T.W.Itter, "well y'see doc - a while back I decided to sign up to Twitter as a means to communicate with others who share my interests, and to pubicize my blogs. I have a lot of blogs, y'know! Seven in all!" I would answer him.

"Ahhhhh - seven blogs, Dr. T.W. Itter would comment, while scribbling notes madly on his pad. "So why do you have so many, anyway? Most people have one...two at the most."

"I'm a person with varied interests," I would state matter-of-factly while explaining my rationale for seven blogs. "One to rant and rave and comment about life...another for my art...and so on. But can we get back to the reason for this consultation?"

"Refresh my memory - why are you here?" Dr. T.W. Itter would ask.

"I'm dropping Twitter followers again," I would explain forlornly. "One minute people are following me and suddenly, they start dropping me like flies sprayed with Raid."

"Hmmm...do you think it's something that there's something wrong with your tweets, possibly?" he would or could ask, which is a logical conclusion.

"I doubt it. I mean, I'm beginning to think that I'm - you know - well...boring. People are intrigued to see what I'm all about and once they do, they decide my tweets aren't interesting."

"Hmmmm....dropped followers. Yes. This appears to be a common complaint among Twitter-ers but there could be another explanation," he would suggeset helpfully. "It could be a technical glitch for this occurrence. Have you tried contacting Twitter?"

"Not yet - that has happened in the past. A Twitter technical bug reversed my followers and followees. Lost quite a few as a result of that," I would elaborate.

"There is also another possibility worth considering," Doc. T.W. Itter would offer. "As much as this hurts me to have to alert you of a practice observed by some people, I feel I must. Some people may follow you just so you will follow them back and then when you do - they drop you and your Twitter count. That will be umpteen dollars. Pay the nurse on your way out."

"But doctor," I would protest, "this is not a way to boost my confidence! "what should and could I do to change this upsetting situation?"

"How would I know. I'm a pyschiatrist - not a Twitter expert," he might comment. "By the way - do you follow me? I'm on Twitter too. If you follow me, I'll follow you. A follower is a follower is a follower."

Everybody's got an angle!

Social tips for social people in the social season. Debrett's knows all!

The social season is on the horizon necessiting some basic table etiquette. When it comes to everything and anything concerning dining and manners in  general, Debrett's is the source to consult for advice on the how'to's of eating and conversing at the table.

Seated at a table and once food has entered the mouth, it is important to keep the food within one's mouth with lips closed to prevent other diners from seeing saliva-drenched, chewed-up food. There is nothing more blechy than having to watch - and listen - to a diner carrying on a conversation as food goes down.

Debrett's also suggests to eat at a relaxed pace (whatever that is) and really think about the food. Pondering further about this, one wonders how long one should allow for these thoughts. One minute...three minutes...what is the norm? Should one stare at the food or just glance down between mouth-fulls? Anyone know? But I digress.

- In as far as conversing with fellow diners, Debretts advises that this should be avoided at all costs and avoid directing a question at someone who is in mid-mouthful.

"A smile and an understanding nod will encourage them to swallow without rushing, spluttering or making sheepish gestures."

Really - this is not too practical in my opinion. The idea of dining out with people is to communicate. So big deal - an occasionial spit-up-morsel slips out. One can always take a napkin, dip it in water and wipe away the saliva off the recipient(s) clothing or person and offer an appology.

"Oh - so sorry. Got a little excited telling the story. Here - let me wipe that away," can be offered by the spitter to the spit-ee. But I digress - again.

- One should wait until everyone is served before starting to eat. This has always been a bone of contention for me. On occasion dishes do not arrive at the same time resulting in cool-ish food for the first served. I mean - first served - first finished, necessitating a waiting period until the last person finishes. A solution to this dilemma is to ask the waitress/waiter to keep the food warm until the last person receives her/his meal. That's why they have warming lights, right?

- When it comes to serving tea - this is where Debrett's really has it down pat. A tea pot is handy when serving tea to a group of people, Debrett's shares. Now the rule of thumb is, if a waitress/waiter/host places a teapot on the table without pouring the tea, the person nearest the pot should pour for everyone. This leads one -me - to wonder whether it should be the person on the right or left of the teapot that should handle the pouring honors. Perhaps a coin toss could decide.

- The handle of the teacup (or mug one assumes) should be held between the thumb and forefinger. It is not necessary to hold one's little finger in the air. Biscuits or cookies should not be dunked in the tea. Why - who knows. Neither should tea drinkers make slurping noises.

There is nothing mentioned about what to do if one burps or even how to prevent a burp from escaping from one's mouth. Should an apology be offered? Something to the effect: "oh sorry - I burped." Or should a burp be ignored? Another perplexing issue is how to retrieve a piece of food caught in the teeth. Inserting a finger or nail in the tooth is just not socially acceptable, nor using a toothpick. Neither is filling one's mouth with water and spitting it into the glass. Another issue that springs to mind is the usage of a napkin tied around the neck when eating things like tomato and pasta. Under what circumstances (if any) is it correct to use this? Speaking of napkins, is there any rules regarding the usage of paper napkins to blow one's nose?

These are important issues to ponder!

So now I'm wondering about coffee aficionados. To the best of my knowledge, coffee lovers pour their coffee into a mug, add cream/milk and drink. Sometimes life works best without rules but when guidelines are necessary, we can always consult Debrett's.

Stories that make you think and say, "huh?"

The Internet is a great source of stories focusing on - how shall we say - the unsual but always interesting side of life. Being a generous writer, I'm sharing some that are a fun read.

'IVE GOT A CRUSH ON YOU, LADY LIB-ER-TY...'

There are crushes...and then there are crushes but this love- from- afar takes the cake.

A woman living in Leeds, England, is convinced that she has found true love. This in itself isn't unusual or earth-shattering but the love of her life and object (in the true sense of the word) of her affection is - wait for it - the Statue of Liberty. You read it right: Lady Liberty herself.

The woman, who lives in Leeds, England, can't stop thinking about the - um - statue. According to the piece in The Sun newspaper, she has been attracted to inanimate objects throughout her life and as a student, was enamored with a drum kit. There is a medical explanation for this unusual attraction called, objectum sexuality, in which people fall in love with objects rather than real people. This makes one - me - wonder about this condition.  I mean, I really like chocolate mint frozen yogurt but wouldn't go as far as to say I'm madly in love with it. Then there's this big thing for purses and shoes...and of course jewelry... But I digress.

It was a case of love at first sight for the woman after she saw a photo of  "Libby", her name for the statue, posted online. In additon, she has visited the statue in person four times, stroking it and leaning out of a window to kiss its "hair." She did think about marriage at one point but dropped the idea "because so many others love her too". Not in the same way of course...

In her home, she has set up a shrine as a visual reminder of her "Libby" replete with a six foot replica, along with smaller models, ornaments and very large U.S. flags.

"Other people might be shocked to think I can have romantic feelings for an object, but I am not the same as them," she explained.

To say the least.

A WADDLE TO FREEDOM

Residents of Tokyo, Japan, could run into an unusual feathered friend who has flown the coop from its home in an aquarium. He was last seen taking a dip in a nearby river.

The young one-year old Humboldt penguin, who managed to scale a net twice its size, was spotted by an employee of another zoo who contacted the aquarium. This leads one - me - to wonder the reason behind his escape. Was he feeling crowded among the 134 other penguins or perhaps he didn't care for the fish being served, or maybe he saw the movie, "Happy Feet" and was heading for Hollywood to be a star! Go know!

Meanwhile the aquarium is asking Tokyo residents to keep an eye out for the escapee. Maybe they should keep a few cans of sardines in water around, just in case.

DOGGONE IT!

I dunno. Given the state of the world these days, this really makes you wonder, "why?"

A British couple has spent more than $13,000 on a tummy tuck, facelift and other procedures on - wait for it - their pet pooch over the past two years. They had the surgeries performed on their 5-year old dog, Junior, to save him from blindness. The pooch has a rare disease that causes excess skin to develop on his body that results in mobility difficulties and unable to see due to skin flaps that grew over his eyes. This in itself is understable although some people would wonder about spending $15,000 on their pet, especially since some of the ;procedures were cosmetic.

Pet plastic surgery has grown in popularity over last last few years. Performed nose jobs have risen 25 percent over three years totaling $2.5 million, with another $1.6 million being spent on eyelifts. I wonder if they use doggie botox.

Plastic surgery for dogs... Hmmm.... Meanwhile, here are some before and after photos of Junior:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4174195/Junior-the-dog-has-had-10000-worth-of-cosmetic-surgery-to-help-with-his-health.html

So - whad'ya think? Notice a difference?

Oscars - same old, same old of the same

Along with millions of TV viewers on planet earth, I wait for the annual celebrity soup where actors hope to be rewarded for their work in films. The Academy Awards is an opportunity to see the latest designer fashions modelled by acctresses (and actors) who have primped and pulled and tucked weeks and months ago, in anticipation of this one night.

"Who are you wearing?" interviewers ask the celebs, to which they give a plug to the list of familiar/famous designers. The phrasing of this question has always left me puzzling. Not "what designer outfit are you wearing" but "who are you wearing." There's always this image in my head of designers clinging to bodies. But I digress.

There were some memorable moments, especially Sacha Baron-Cohen's publicity stunt when dressed as a dictator and holding an urn, he "accidentally" poured the contents on interviewer, Ryan Seacrest. Like that wasn't planned. Gimme a break! Then there was Angelina Joli looking gaunt and somewhat cadaverous flashed her skinny leg and JLo looking stunning as usual, had a questionable flash of nipple - maybe. The dress designer is denying that it was on purpose. Uh-huh...

In as far as the show itself, was disappointed in host Billy Crystal. The opening number featuring a melange of clips featuring Crystal as the various characters, was somewhat dated leaving a "been there - seen this" feeling. Don't know who wrote his jokes but perhaps he should consider cleaning house, although he did provide some laughter ad-libbing cracks later on. Adored Chris Rock and his short and definitely not long enough comments as a presenter. Note to Academy: get him as a future host!

Disappointed that George Clooney didn't win best actor award. He really deserved it and happy that Meryl Streep took home another Oscar. Also loved "The Help."

To sum it all up, the show was flat and lacked that spark of excitement necessary for an awards show or else it becomes a boring parade of celebs reading cue cards. My vote as mentioned before is Chris Rock.

Willliam and Kate to join Barbie and the vinyl bunch

Haven't received any reaction yet from well-known vinyl personality and fashionista, Barbie, regarding the news that she may soon have two rivals for attention.

Seems that toy maker Mattel, has releaed a limited edition of  "William and Catherine Royal Wedding Giftset" a.k.a. Prince William and Kate Middleton, to coincide with the royal couple's first wedding anniversary. In the way of a memory jog, I'm still waiting for my invitation to the royal nuptials that obviously got lost in the royal mail. But I digress.

According to reports, the two royal vinylistas/dolls are wearing "outfits inspired by "the" regal wedding attire." Does this mean that a wardrobe is in the works a la Barbie et al, where the couple will wear different outfits to suit the occasion? You know...lunch with the Queen...etc. Taking it further, perhaps there will be a royal home replete with royal servants. The mind boggles. At least mine does. But I digress - again.

"One year after Barbie and Ken announced their reconciliation, Barbie celebrates the love of another iconic couple" with the introduction of the new set, Mattel said.

This definitely will not go over well with Barbie who considers herself the queen of dolls. When asked about the new Mattel additions, Barbie commented, "Kate and William who?" Contacted for his take, Ken, Barbie's signifigant-other, said "I have a new surfboard, It's yellow. I like surfing."

That Ken! Such a beach bum!

The dolls, which will sell for $100, will be part of the Barbie Collector edition and will be available in April. Here is a photo of the new additions: http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/kate-made-barbie-ken-dolls-time-anniversary-article-1.1024233?localLinksEnabled=false

So would you buy a set?

Recalling past loves on Valentine's Day, the good, the bad and the not-so-bad. Debrett's weighs in on choosing bouquets

The first thing wrong with Valentine's Day is that it falls at the wrong time of the year when a portion of the world is deep in the throes of winter woes. It would be much better if the holiday fell during late Spring or early summer, for example. Here's a thought: why not switch Valentine's Day, with let's say...Mother's Day, for example? Mothers being blessed with extra-understanding qualities wouldn't mind observing their special day in winter. Right moms?

This holiday aimed at romantics came about a long time ago when the Bishop of Spoleto was martyred on February 14, AD 271. Traditionally, Valentine's Day was celebrated as a lover's feast, hence the reason for restaurants offering special gastronomical banquets. Profit has nothing to do with it, of course.

According to http://www.theromantic.com/, statistically, 110 million Valentine's roses are sold and delivered in a three-day period surrounding February 14th, the vast majority of which are red. Of those 110 million, 73% are purchased by men and a mere 27% are purchased by women. It's intereseting, at least to me that red roses are the number one color choice. Roses do come in other tints including yellow, pink, white and shade mixes. Somehow, the color red  is viewed as a passionate hue, implying pasionate undertones, which is probably the reason that men are attracted to this particular tint and stick to giving red roses. Then again, so is black... But I digress.

In as far as the selection of flowers, we look to Debretts once again, "the" guide to social etiquette, for its take blooms.

•Be prepared to spend, and don't economise. Never buy bunches from the supermarket or garage.
Garage? People sell flowers from garages? I thought that was the place one stored trash cans that hold dead rose bushes. Ask me about it.

•Don't overlook the importance of the card that accompanies a delivered bouquet - it is an important part of the present.

•Make sure the bouquet suits the occasion and the style of the recipient (e.g. classic or contemporary).
In other words, don't give your special friend a Venus Fly Trap for example, in the way of a card and gift. If someone wants to get rid of insects, they can call an exterminator.

•Avoid white flowers for celebratory bunches (they are often associated with funerals and death).

•Mixed bouquets can look cheap if they aren't substantial and well-styled; instead, consider buying a bunch of all one type of bloom or going for just a single colour.
Personally, I believe in using flowers growing in or around one's garden. When one thinks about it, dandelions fit the bill perfectly and they are virtually...everywhere, plus they are free for the asking. Or for that touch of greenery, add some three (four leaf are hard to find) leafed clover.

•Utilise greenery - it can bulk up the bouquet and complement the flowers - and pick seasonal blooms, which will be in better condition.
Perhaps consider adding some dill or chives to make a bouquet look fuller. They can also enhance a home-made pot of soup that can be used as an entree for the Valentine's Day supper. Two gifts for the price of one! Can't go wrong!

That Debrett's has the right answers to suit all occasions. Of course they will be consulted for advice on social dilemmas. But I digress...again.

Thinking back, my first encounter with romance was a somewhat painful experience. We were both nine years old and after our school day ended, we enjoyed sitting on my front stairs discussing life as seen through our eyes. One day for no apparent reason and without any prior warning, he leaned over and kissed me square on the cheek. To say I was aghast was an understatement and reacted instantaneously by making a fist and thrusting it square into his stomach. He groaned while doubling over in pain. We stared at each other for what seemed like forever but was probably no more than a few seconds, as tears welled up in his eyes and spilling on to his cheeks. Clutching his stomach, he took off like a bat out of hell and never looked back. Ever. We never spoke again and he refused all overtures of friendship.

The first twitches of love were felt by author, Josh H., at the ripe age of seven. He still retains the image of the object of his affection dancing and singing with a group of girls at a school performance. Later, a girl in the 4th grade gave him his first valentine's card when they were both 9 years old.

" I remember it well because it totally shocked the heck out of me," Josh recalls. "I didn't even thank her because I was too embarassed. But I do remember her name well, because it was and still is the loveliest female name I've ever come across: Donna Marie Devoe. I think I'll use that name in a book one day."

As a student, Sadie Johnson,  felt an attraction to someone in one of her classes.

"We were acquaintances, maybe even friends, but I was way, way too scared to say anything (it was an interesting time for me, I might act differently now than I did then, but if it hadn't happened the way it did, I don't know if I'd be the person I am today). I don't know if she had any inkling of how I felt, but she never reacted as if she did. I still see her occasionally and still get a little flutter in my stomach when I see her, but I don't know if I'm just in love with the memory of her from school, or I'm actually still in love with her."

For Sadie, February 14 is merely another day.
"Maybe if I was in a relationship I'd feel differently, but I doubt it. I do think it's a commercial rip off, and I'm not much for the saccharine idea of romance put forth by the card companies. That's not love, that's hollywood sappiness, at least in my opinion."

The date has special meaning for Thomas Fisk and his wife.

"On Valentines Day, 1988, we did a pregnancy test and found she was pregnant with my first son. Needless to say, Valentines Day has always been very special to me ever since."

A romantic, his perspective is that it's a sweet day set aside for love.

"With all the negative things in our society today, we need every positive things we can get," Thomas opined. "I've seen so many wonderfully creative things people do on Valentines Day that have nothing to do with buying gifts."

Practicing what he preaches, Thomas's celebrations have included preparing a romantic evening replete with a home-cooked meal followed by a soak in the bath tub surrounded by candles. It's the sentiments that count.

"But even if someone only buys a gift or gives a box of candy, it's still a nice thing and every little nice thing counts. Just because companies make a ton of money doesn't take away the fact that it is such a very nice day."

Children's author, Donna Campbell Smith, recalls Valentine's Day as a special occasion while attending school.

"I remember Valentine's Day being a big deal in elementary school. We made and decorated big Valentine's Day envelopes and the teacher hung them on the wall. Then everyone brought everyone a Valentine and dropped it in the big envelopes. On Valentine's Day we had a party (grade mother's brought refreshments) and opened our big envelopes full of Valentines."

She experienced her first crush in 5th grade and searched through all her cards to find a special one that would convey her feelings.

"Alas, there was not one. A foreshadowing of future disappointments in men," Donna jokes. "I married my high school sweetheart and it lasted 26 years. Not too bad, all things considered. I have three daughters, three grandchildren and two darling great grands to show for it."

Came accross this quotation, which sums up love and Valentine's Day:
"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. (Unknown Author)

Aint't that the truth.

Paula, Nicole and Steve have left the X-Factor building

Figured this was inevitable. Once the dust had settled so to speak after the first edition of "X-Factor", the show is now missing two judges and one as the Brits call them, presenter.

Can't say that I'm sorry that MC Steve Jones is gone. In my view he was arrogant, somewhat rude and insensitive when chatting with the contestants after a performance, particularly if it wasn't one of their best efforts. He seemed to thrive on asking stupid, inane and on occasion, hurtful questions that definitely had a negative impact on the singer. Perhaps his personna goes over well in the UK but it obviously hit a negative nerve with North American viewers. Count me in as one of them.

In as far as Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger are concerned - they were so alike in their critiques of the singers that it was difficult to know where one left off and the other started. In retrospect, perhaps it would have been better had Simon Cowell left things as they were with Paula remembered as a departing American Idol judge.

Although Nicole Scherzinger is a good singer and entertainer, she shouldn't give up her day job as the expression goes. Very wishy-washy with her critiques, when she actually ciritiqued the singers.

The writing was on the wall for both female judges when they didn't support Cowell's singer/protoge, Rachel Crow, who ended up having to leave the show. Not wise not to back the boss, ladies!

In any case, it will be interesting to see who their replacements will be. According to all the media sites, rumor has it that Mariah Carey is being considered as a replacement judge. She can sing for sure but not sure if she will be a good addition to the mix. Depends on who the second choice will be. Maybe Simon should consider trying to get Ryan Seacrest. Just saying...

Famous names who declined to be royally recognized

As a writer in the silver years of a career as a local columnist - the word "golden" seems so final - it would be nice to be recognized for my contribution to the literary world. Having retired from covering and reporting on all the local community happenings, somehow it's doubtful that readers will recall my pieces focusing on pot holes or lack of snow clearance and the like.

"Ah yes - those great pot hole stories in '98," someone might but not likely recall when discussing writers. "That Eleanor Tylbor sure knew how to cover those large holes in the road! And those wonderful rants about the lack of snow clearance were the best!"

In any case, there are famous writers who have been recognized for their literary accomplishments by none other than Queen Elizabeth, who bestows letters after their names in the way of recognition. These letters mean that their careers have been successful and they are known in their genre. Then there are others who for whatever reason have declined to accept the royal honor.

Contained in a official and formerlyt secret document, were the names of 250 people who declined the Queen's offer to honor their work. This leaves one - me - who wonder as to the reason for the big secrecy. For example and according to an article in Reuters, artist Lucien Freud, sculptor Henry Moore and author Roald Dahl it was "thanks-but-no-thanks" offer. Same thing for director Alfred Hitchcock but he accepted a knighthood eventually. One presumes that a knighthood is a step above three letters. I mean, go know as an ordinary person, which honor is higher. You have your O.B.E. and your C.B.E. and then your knighthood and the female equivalent, sisterhood... Checking further on Wiki, you also have your OBE, GBE, CH, OM...the list goes on. It's like an alphabet soup of honorary letters. But I digress.

Some other well-known public figures that fall into the "thanks-but-no-thanks"category are Francis Bacon, L.S. Lowry and Aldous Huxley.

It appears that the information was made public after numerous requests under the freedom of information laws. This leaves one - me - to ponder why people would want to know who rejected being honored but somebody obviously wanted to keep track of the "nays."

Ruminating further regarding the bestowing of honors, perhaps there should be special honors or mention for your ordinary but very necessary people whose jobs over a long period of time contribute to the well-being of society.

OTC- Outstand Trash Collector - bestowed to brave trash collectors who daring feats of bravery risked their lives hanging on the back of garbaage trucks, holding on to the rear of the truck with one gloved hand while balancing on one foot, and survived.

PDPA - Paper Delivery Person Award - honoring people who get up at the break of dawn to ensure that readers are kept abreast of the latest breaking news at their door steps

SCPPA - Shopping Cart Person Picker-upper award given to supermarket personnel whose job it is to gather and pick up all the shopping carts that are discarded anywhere and everywhere, including on car bumpers

WSPC - Waterspray Produce Creator award given to person who created the water spray that drops seemingly every two minutes inundating and soaking everthing and everybody standing within 3 feet of the produce display.

Any interesting additions to the above are welcome and will be added to the list.

When it's all said and done, my epitaph will be, "she lived - she wrote - she croaked."  Then again, I'm always open for a few letters.

Still more stories to make you wonder and utter "huh?"

Fresh from the last blog focusing on "interesting" pieces that make you shake your head in wonderment and ask yourself, "why?", some more of these stories found around the Net to elicit a similar response.

PACKING IN THE VEGGIES

Most of us frequent salad bars to for a dose of food variety - you know - a pick of this...a bit of that. Then there are others who use salad bars to accomplish engineering feats. A scientist, no less, with obviously a lot of spare time on his hands, has devised and created a way to pick and pile food into a three foot tower. This begs the question at least in my mind, why?

Based on his experience the food builder, one Shen Hongrui, a Chinese engineer, has offered advice to diners as to how to create their own food towers to be brought back to the table and presumably eaten. This once again begs the question: why?

In order to comply with the "one bowl, one visit" rule of his local Pizza Hut in Beijing, he created a set of instructions that would maximize the diner's variety needs. Salad building requires a formula and the engineer suggests that a chick pea and potato base be used as the bottom base, followed by carrot sticks acting as a scaffold of sorts, toss in or on some cucumber slices or blocks of fruit to act as walls and favorte food choice(s) sit on the top of the tower.

The tower building known as "salad bar hacking"  has become so popular that Pizza Huts in China have stepped in and removed all the salad bars in their restaurants. Not surprising. No information available focusing on falling towers that weren't structurally sound.
Here's a photo of a food tower: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2084033/The-leaning-tower--Pizza-Huts-salad-bar-Diner-devises-3ft-pile-round-rules-local-restaurant.html

DEAD MAN RUNS UP WATER BILL

Sometimes you just can't win for losing, even when you die. The family of a man who died is asking the town council in Port Colborne, Ontario, to re-adjust their water bill. Actually, not their water bill but the bill of Allister McPherson, who passed on while leaving his water tap running. His daughter, Cara Zandvliet, turned to the municiaplity to ask for some type of relief from a $600 water bill charged to her late father.

Thinking further on the dilemma, strikes me that the dead man didn't leave the water running on purpose. I mean, he didn't mean to die or anything. If he had a choice and if it was possible, most likely he would have turned off the tap before dying but these things happen without any warning. But I digress.

Seems that the water remained on for three weeks before the discover of MacPherson by family members. According to the daughter, a normal water bill would cost $200 for a three-month period, but MacPherson was charged close to $600 for two months. Futhermore, she believes that her father shouldn't be charged for water from the bathroom faucet because the water wasn't used.

No follow up decision as to whether she will have to pay in the end. Obviously, every drop of water counts, even when you're dead.

Here's a photo of Ms Zandvliet holding up the water bill:  http://www.wellandtribune.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=3435886&

SOMETIMES IT JUST DON'T PAY TO GET SICK DEPT.

When people check into a hospital for a medical procedure, they expect to receive a bill. There are bills - and then there are bills. Patient, Alexis Rodriguez, an unemployed doorman, was hospitalized at the Bronx-Lebanon Hospital Center last Spring for pneumonia. He was on the verge of becaming sick again after receiving a bill for - wait for it - $44.8 million dollars for his hospital stay. Seems that the company that sends out the bills made an error placing the invoice number in a space designated for the amount. For its part, the billing company is telling those patients affected to ignore the miltimillion dollar bills. I bet.

BETTY WHITE - STILL HOT AT 90 YEARS YOUNG

Actor/comedienne, Betty White, has turned 90 years young. Given her fantastic comedic talent and that she is working in yet another hit TV series, she is an inspiration to everyone that age is a mere number. Loved her in "Golden Girls" and she was the inspiration in the creation of one my characters in my play, "Gin: an Allergory for Playing the Game of Life." Hope she pulls out all the stops in celebrating her life.

Meanwhile, here's the birthday girl in her video, "I'm So Hot."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RDPeadBxBw

Life's interesting but sort-of weird stories

It's the beginning of a new year and the holiday frenzy has been replaced by new year's resolutions that may or may not be kept plus a period of restrospection and refelection, there are interesting (at least to me) things happening to be shared with readers of this blog. You know who you are!


JUST WHO GIVES OUT THESE GRANTS AND HOW DO WE GET THEM ANYWAY DEPT.

Always amazed when reading about people who acquire grants for - how shall we phrase it - "interesting" projects. This certainly falls into this category.

An Austrian inventor has won a £400,000 government grant to set up a museum of failed inventions. Not useful or practical creations that could help woman/mankind mind you, but failed inventions.

The word "why" springs to mind but I digress.

The inventor, Fritz Gall, devised the concept of a museum of this nature to display the not-so-successful inventions by would-be/wanna-be entrepreneurs. Grant in hand, Gall and his parter, Friedl Umscheid, opened the Museum of Nonsense in Herrnbaumgarten, Austria. Appropriate name.

For its part, the museum prides itself on housing useless creations like the 'portable anonymyser' - a piece of black card on a stick so people who don't want to be in the public eye can black out their own eyes. Thinking further about the description of this...whatever, why would people and how would it help to disguise a person's identity?

Then we have lead-less pencils for civil servants, a fully transportable hat stand and - wait for it - a portable hole and  a bristleless toothbrush for people with no teeth.

Their first failed inventions fair drew more than 5,000 visitors and they are planning to expand to larger premises.

This statement by Gall says it all: "We have government funding and some private backing and we hope the people out there like nonsense just as much as we do,"

Obviously the taxpayers don't seem to mind.

GETTING ALL THE BUGS OUT

These days, the word "bug" is frequently used when discussing computer problems and related issues. Many people consider the word in as far as it applies to the insect world, like entomologist Skye Blackurn. Her interest in creepy-crawlies has taken her to breeding edible bugs, which she also sells as novelty gifts.

To be candid, the vision/concept of eating bugs isn't appealing to say the least, but to each his own. As an aside (big on these), a while back when hosting a public access TV program focusing on animals, I sampled a bug lollipop. Actually, it wasn't bad especially if one wasn't aware it was composed of insects but therein lay/lies the problem: I was aware. In addition I could have if I so chose, dined on sauteed bugs in tomato sauce (I declined the invite) but I digress. Again.

Crickets and mealworms are placed in lollipops after which they are coated in chocolate. Another personal aside: I've also nibbled (key word here) on chocolate-covered grasshoppers. Crispy on the inside but I digress. Once more.

According to Ms Blackburn, the aim is to encompass the bugs in an edible form in which people would recognize. Actually thinking further about this and IMHO, it would probably be preferable NOT to recognize the insects. She has ground up roasted mealworms and used the end result a powdered flour, to make other dishes including banana bread and cookies. The insects, which are bred on an insect farm outside of Sydney, Australia, are killed ethically by freezing them after which they fall into a death sleep. They are kept in a very sterile environment and fed organic grains and vegetables, which are supposed to increased the flavor of the insects. Actually, a cold demise is preferable to death by shoe and other hand-held articles by insect dislikers.

The insect delights are proving to be very popular and plans are afoot to expand her menu to include water bugs, scorpions and possibly tarantulas. I'll pass on that, chocolate-covered or not.

NOT AN ART LOVER

As an artist, I'm aware that people's taste in art is subjective. While my taste run to landscapes, others may prefer abstract or cubism and other styles. Some people take art to the extreme.

A painting made by abstract expressionist artist, Clyford Still, received damages to the extent of $10,000. A 36-year old woman punched and scratched the painting, an oil-on-canvas called “1957-J no.2”, at the newly opened Clyfford Still museum in Denver, Colorado. To express her distaste for the painting, the female pulled down her pants to slide her buttocks against the surface. Talk about the ultimate expression of dislike! As if that wasn't enough, she allegedly urinated after rubbing up against the canvas. I mean, I've heard of body art but this is taking things too far.

CRABBY DAVID

A new species of crab will be named after Baywatch star, David Hasselhoff, given the hairy chest of the crustacean. The crab who now goes by 'The Hoff', was discovered living around volcanic vents of South Georgia. Oh well - at least he will be remembered for something.

How did your week go?

Resolving to resolve good intentions for the New Year

For whatever reason and on the arrival of the new year, we resolve to make changes in our lives. When you think about it, these modifications could easily be made throughout the year. It's as if the turning of year numbers wipes out all the things we wanted to do but somehow didn't happen.

As usual I'm aspiring to turn the scale; shift the scene, turn over a new leaf  in the hope that at least one of them will be realized.

"Good for you, Eleanor. How about sharing with us?"

- I'm going to make a concerted effort to cut back on painting images of fields and flowers and flowers and fields. The minute I take brush in hand, somehow, some way, those fields and flowers suddenly jump up on the canvas. There is a definite draw like a magnet to metal filings to this type of image as is adding a lake or river or water to the scene. Thing is - I'm not really good at water but it always seems to show up.

"Just stop buying blue paint, Eleanor! Voila! Water problem solved."

Were it that easy! My angst covers the color of water and rarely achieving the "right" color. The wrong shades are those that end up on the canvas. Should it be light blue...medium blue...aqua...green... Maybe pond water - or a river stream. It just never ends.

- When using the palette knife, I will also make a concerted effort not to cut the surface of the canvas

Moving on...

- I'm going to send my plays packing in the hope of finding a new home.

Really, really and I mean it this time, I'm going to do something progressive with my plays. Definitely more submitting and checking out the submission guidelines to find and ensure a good fit. What is a good fit, anyway? Let me put it this way: they wouldn't be submitted to a theatre that focuses on Shakespere.

- Focusing on re-writing and converting "Old Soldiers" into a radio play. Joe McKenna, the main character, isn't getting any younger

To quote Oprah Winfrey - the lady does have a way with words: "Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Bizarre Freedom of Information Requests - really!

Many people think about things. You know - deep and perplexing issues - like how could a council help Santa - the Santa - and his reindeer if they crashed in Cheltenham, England. Why Cheltenham, England, one might be asking oneself. Most likely because a person living in said geographical location for whatever reason (perhaps while visiting the local pub springs to mind) may be concerned that Santa and his entourage could end up in a bad accident. Go know!

Still another request was what percentage of Hampsire County Council's drawing pins are actually stuck in pin boards. This request is tricky in my opinion. First of all, the request should have been narrowed down to a specific day and/or time because pins can be removed and new pins replaced depending on who's in charge and the reason for sticking said pins in the boards in the first place. But I digress.

These were two subjects that made the Local Government Association's list of the top 10 most bizarre Freedom of Information Requests of 2011 in England and Wales. Here are some more ponderings:

- somebody wanted to know whether the West Devon District Council about its preparations for helping soldiers defend against Napoleon's marauding hordes.

- Both Leicester City Council and Bristol City Council were asked about their readiness for a zombie attack

- Cornwall Council was questioned as to how much money it had paid to exorcists

- The Merseyside Fire and Rescue Service were queried as to what plans are in place to deal with an alien invasion

- Meanwhile, the number of holes in privacy walls between toilet cubicles are found in public washrooms and council buildings was asked of the Cornwall Council

In excess of 197,000 requests for information were made this year alone, with authorities spending £31.6m on responding to the querents.

There's a good photo of Santa and one of his reindeers here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-16302375

Word has it when asked as to whether he has had any close calls while flying over Cheltenham, Santa couldn't recall but mentioned his GPS has misled him from time-to-time.

The Dreidl King - a Chanukah miracle of a different kind

There was the usual sense of excitement among students attending the Chavarim Afternoon Hebrew School a couple weeks before the onset of Chanukah. Throughout the school spinning dreidels whirled around the floor surface in anticipation of the annual competition held on the first night of Chanukah. Even then practise was no guarantee of a successful outcome of deposing "the dreidel king" who was defending his title for the fourth year in a row.

If there was anyone who personified the ideal qualities in a student it was Zelig Bornstein. At ten years of age he could do no wrong. A brilliant student academically he was also blessed with the voice of an angel and it was a given that he would sing the part of lead candle in the annual Chanukah concert. As if that wasn't enough to cause jealousy and rivalry among classmates, he always won the annual dreidel competition.

Among the students of Mr. Meldrum's class there was the general belief that his cobalt blue dreidel with gold lettering on the sides possessed magical properties. There could be no other explanation to account for his perpetual dominance other than a mysterious and powerful outside source was at work, unavailable to his classmates. A few brave participants had come close to deposing him but somehow Zelig always managed to win out in the end. To further undermine his competitors confidence "The Dreidel King" did nothing to dispel the air of mystery surrounding his acumen.

"It's all right here," he would boast when asked the secret of his success, pointing to his wrist and flicking his fingers one-by-one to demonstrate his unbeatable technique, "and my magical dreidel of course.”

He never divulged any background information on how it was acquired and neither would he allow anyone to touch it much less give it a spin, further adding to the mystique.

"He" doesn't like leaving my hands," he would proffer in the way of an excuse, speaking of his
top as if it was a living thing or a pet.

Externally, I professed animosity towards him as did the others, but internally I adored him from afar. However, this did not diminish my desire to win and I practiced fervently in the hope of improving my spin. I longed to emerge victorious if for no other reason than to make Zelig aware that I was alive, or at least be aware of my presence. It wasn't considered socially unacceptable to acknowledge the existence of the opposite sex, and even if he did harbor some stirrings of romantic feelings, he hid them well from me.

It would be fair to say that nearly every student in Mr. Meldrum's class dreamed of wresting the title away from him. We discussed the situation amongst ourselves, plotting a course of action that could de-throne him. Dreidel tossing techniques were assessed including "spit-shots" in which the "toss-ee" would spit or lick fingers to acquire more control of the toss, disallowed by Mr. Meldrum for hygienic reasons. Finger exercises were evaluated in addition to the benefits of knuckle cracking workouts before the competition, all of which were eventually discarded as ineffectual. Deep down inside we knew that the end result was out of our hands in the true sense of the word, and in those of the fates. There was always the glimmer of hope that perhaps the fates would smile on one of us. Any one of us except Zelig.

Like a conquering hero "King" Zelig took center-stage tossing his dreidel from hand-to-hand as he walked, attempting to psyche out the participants. It was a piece of pure theatre as he produced a blue satin drawstring bag and reaching in, retrieved the cobalt blue dreidel smiling all the while. We took our places around the table, our hands clasped around the dreidels, waiting for our turn. As the reigning champion he spun first, achieving the "gimel" and winning the first round. It was the expected results. Dreidel competitors fell like dominos.

One by one Zelig knocked them out of the game until finally it was my turn. All eyes were upon me as I opened up my hand, gently allowing a cobalt blue object with gold lettering on the sides to drop on the surface of the table. There was an audible gasp from fellow students accompanied shortly thereafter by excited whipers.

"D'ya see her dreidel?" the word went out. "It's the same one as Zelig?s!"

At tournament time a large table was set up in the middle of the classroom and dreidels distributed to students. King Zelig tossed his dreidel from hand-to-hand, smiling smugly and acting self-assured. As the reigning champion Zelig spun first, achieving the letter "g" or "gimel", which meant that he won the first round. One by one we took turns and I landed on "hay", acquiring half of the pot composed of chocolate coins and other goodies, which pleased me no end. For the next few turns the dreaded "shin" turned up denoting a loss, accompanied by groans of disappointment from fellow students. Like many of the stories we were told focusing on unsurpassable victories over adversity, things turned in my favor. The king was dethroned and long live the new champion. Me.

Jubilant cheers broke out among fellow students as they savored the moment for which they had all waited. My adversary, meanwhile, appeared stunned and in shock. Consumed with laughter and staring triumphantly into his eyes, I couldn't help but notice his were brimming with tears. It was bad enough being dethroned but having it done by a girl, was more than his young ego could handle in one day.

I could have chosen to ignore him and savor the moment of victory, since it was a long time coming and it probably wouldn't happen again. Instead, upon realizing that he had been humiliated in front of his male friends, a final showdown was suggested to determine the final victor. Needless to say, he amazingly emerged victorious.

He never did acknowledge my presence or reach out to thank me for my selfless gesture, in all the years of our attending Hebrew school together. He did allow me to spin first in a subsequent re-match the following year, presumably as a good will gesture on his part. In my mind I would always be queen to his king be it only for one occasion and that was better than nothing. That's life. Sometimes you win and sometimes you gotta lose.

Upon having cell-phone-itis...in the bathroom?

Just finished posting or sharing a complaint on Facebook and decided to carry it over here. Actually, it's more of a rant. Again. Perhaps I've shared this before but since it is happening with increasing frequency, it's noteworthy and mentionable. What is really upsetting - at least to me - is that this practice is becoming more and more frequent and socially acceptable. Frequently, I get the urge to yell out: "she's on the toilet! Call back!"

Today while meandering through a mall in late afternoon and after one too many coffees, had to use a public bathroom. So I close the door behind me and as I'm getting ready to sit down, I hear a voice in the stall beside me (are female separations called stalls one wonders?) talking away animatedly. Wasn't sure whether the voice was addressing me so I listened for a minute and then realized by the topic that the person was on her cell phone while - well - peeing. This led me to wonder whether the conversation was a continuation of one that began prior to using the washroom, or perhaps she was on a long distance call but I digress. Surely the call could have continued after she had completed what she set out to do. It also can't be very hygeinic to use a cell phone while doing...whatever.

As a matter of fact and interest, researchers from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine and Queen Mary, University of London, conducted a study that revealed a lot about people doing...whatever and cell phone usage. Researchers analyzed 780 swab samples with 390 from cell phones and the people who used them in twelve cities in the U.K. Findings revealed that 16% of both hands and phones were contaminated with E. coli, potentially illness-causing bacteria that is fecal in origin. Think about that the next time you absolutely have to discuss...whatever.

Related to this, I'm also amazed how people aren't afflicted with neck problems given their propensity to stare downward at cell phones and texted messages while walking. It would be interesting to know whether health professionals are dealing with afflictions related to these practices. Anybody know?

Still, it's perplexing as to the need to be connected all the time. Not in the bathroom, okay? We really don't want to know.

X-Factor judges getting nasty and silly

As is the case with numerous TV viewers, I'm watching "X-Factor (USA) having read a lot of hype about the British version. Another reason is that the powers-that-be put Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul on the same show even if their continuous bickering is for effect and to increase the show ratings, as was the case when they peformed the same routine as judges on American Idol.

The only thing I'm familiar with in as far as X-Factor judge, Nicole Scherzinger, is that she was a singer with the Pussycat Dolls and the winner of the 10th season of Dancing With the Stars. Not sure if this accomplishment is something that should be added to her resume but I digress. Obviously, when putting X-Factor together, they decided that her presence would be a draw. Then we have LA Reid whose credentials as a record executive, songwriter and record producer make him a good choice and addition to the show. Not that Simon Cowell is a slouch in this area. Last is the "presenter" as the Brits call it, Steve Jones. Nothing much to say about him other than I find his style distasteful. Period.

The X-Factor differs from AI in that once the elimination process is completed and the field narrowed down, singers are categorized and the judges become the mentors. This concept in itself is enough to create competitiveness among them given their day jobs of creating musical personalities. It does, however, make for fun TV watching.

So Simon Cowell eliminates all of Paula's contestants after which Paula gets revenge by eliminating one of Simon's pet female singers aided by LA Reid and Nicole S. The show is turning into a "revenge-factor 101" as the judges denegrate each other's singers as a means in which to hang on to their own group contestants. As Simon pleaded - actually pleaded - with TV viewers to vote for Melanie Amaro (one of my favorites btw) to "keep her out of the pirhanna pool." "Ya gotta love it - Cowell actually begging viewers to retain one of his singers! We all know who he's referring to when he used the term, "pirhanna pool." To show you how this has become shark infested waters, judges have taken to directly psyching out the singers as a means to achieve a weak performance. What is it that they say... 'revenge is a dish best served cold?' As I recall, Cowell dissed Abdul's singers and choice of singing material. Ditto for Scherzinger. As mentioned, anything to increase the ratings, which it appears are not what they hoped they would be.

In the end and although it may not have the sophistication of an X-Factor (more like a kindergarten), I'll definitely opt for Ryan Seacrest's style as show host introducing the contestants, over a pompous Steve Jones. The latter is a thoughtless and insensitive oaf, IMHO.

They're promoting American Idol already and count me in as one who will be watching. Sometimes genteel is the way to go.

How do be a good Christmas guest - Debretts knows

So let's say...an invitation is extended from a friend, family member or aquaintance to their annual or semi-annual or once-in-a-while Christmas get-together. In responding affirmatively to the invitation, there are certain responsibilities that are attached to attending a festive gathering. The source for all things social is Debretts, who offer a guide on anything and everything for all occasions. One can adapt the advice as one sees fit.

First on the list, Debretts suggests that guests arrive with, in their words, "goodies." This means to me that one should ascertain the ages and tastes of the host family before showing up with what could be embarrassing gift selections, like a set of cosmetics for a young female instead of a male. Then again... But I digress. Or, a tie to suit a family member recalled as Bruce, who ends up being the family pooch.

Speaking or writing about the family pooch, there is no mention regarding decorum where pets are concerned. Nothing noted regarding the passing of food tidbits under the table to whining or barking dog(s), neither is there any guidance as to how to proceed for dogs that beg while performing cute tricks. On the other hand, this would not be applicable to the family cat who prefer to make a statement walking accross the table... But I digress.

Another suggestion from Debretts is to check out what food item to bring along. Bean cassserol (here's Martha Stewart"s recipe for interested persons: http://www.marthastewart.com/340211/green-bean-casserole) is not everyone's cup of tea, so to speak, or aspic (for more about aspic, check this out: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-aspic.htm Somehow gelatin embedded with meat pieces doesn't do it for me, at least. Gelatin by itself, however, i.e. Jello et al, is a favorite personal dessert but definitely does not travel well in a warm car. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjBHgPeg8T4

As a guest, Debretts advises, don't take over the role of host. This would or could include monopolizing the conversation focusing on, for example, past get-togethers and/or family fiasco celebrations. Memory joggers like "remember when blah-blah danced with the floor lamp and eneded up being treated for electric shock" -type reminders is not mannerly table talk. In the way of help, here are some conversation starters focusing on a wide range of subjects - take your pick and be witty: http://aesthetichealingmindset.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/social-savvy-for-the-holidays-%E2%80%93-conversation-starters-for-more-interesting-table-talk/

Debretts also suggests that thoughtful guests offer their assistance in the kitchen. This could include salad- making or dish drying or aspic de-geling (is aspic still on the holiday menu, one wonders or was it ever?), which is tricky (http://whatscookingamerica.net/gelatintip.htm) and the wrong move can result in a plate of colored liquid. But again, I digress.

In as far as missing a favorite TV program, Debretts suggests that recorders be set up to ensure that favorite programs aren't missed. Don't make demands of the hosts to watch a favorite show. Perhaps other guests may also have their own favorite TV program like the weekly football telecast while other may be fans of X-Factor or Glee, which could cause program conflicts. Perhaps a good conversation starter is to go around the table and vote as to which programs to watch. Just a suggestion.

Another suggestion is not to comment (or presumably criticize) a host's way of entertaing, Debretts advises.
No statements or subjects that touch on bedtime activities like "When I was young, we had our Christmas cake at 5 o'clock and were in bed by 8…" Comments like these will always be seen as implied criticisms, and should be avoided at all costs."

Get into the spirit of the get together and as Debretts advises, "don't be a party pooper." If everyone participates in a Christmas sing-a-long featuring Barry Manilow singing holiday favorites (for example), sitting with folded arms and mumbling bad words to one-self  is not being a good guest.

Once the wine bottles or fruit juice have gone and the aspic has disolved into a color-less liquid with pieces of disgusting grey meat floating on the surface, it's polite to thank the hosts for extending an invitation to their holiday party. Debretts suggests that  you "thank the host effusively for his/her hospitality."

"Thanks for the invite even though I missed the big game," is not nice. Neither is "did we mention we changed our address, phone number and e-mail?"

After all and in the end, it's all part of the Christmas celebration.

Wookie the cat tale still has legs

It's been almost a year now that Wookie the cat has been missing. Going out on a limb here since nobody has written any updates, one presumes that there have been no sightings.

In the way of background info., Wookie's disappearance caused a local uproar in Bedford, England, when his owner Mike Harding was threatened with a legal fine for posting posters of his puss, in the hope that somebody - anybody - had spotted his beloved feline.

So here we are another Christmas almost upon us and still no news updates concerning the cat's fate. What is interesting, though, is that this blog story still has legs so to speak. In the year that the tale was told here, for whatever reason, there is still interest judging by the hits. We're not talking hundreds of hits but even so, the story always climbs up to the top of the pile. Also included in these numbers are spammers most likely but it's still personally noteworthy that people around the globe drop by to read the story.

Pure speculation, perhaps it's a seasonal thing in that people - okay me - wonder whether Wookie is "out there" somewhere, having to depend on an occasional mice meal or on the kindness of others, as people plan their festive menu. Perhaps he is forced to find shelter living under garden shacks. Then again and putting in a positive light, maybe some kind stranger took him in and he lives out his life as a pampered cat. Thing is - nobody knows.

Perhaps if Mike Harding is reading this, he would or could provide an update, if any. Meanwhile, perhaps sympathetic cat lovers (or even likers) feel moved enough to donate to their local animal shelter in Wookie's name. Or just donate, anyway. They can always use the money.

Meanwhile, verifiable updates on Wookie are welcome and Wookie if you're reading this: come home for Christmas!

Delaware names Ambassador to Mars.

In as far as scientific community is concerned, no one can say with any certainty that there is life on Mars, the planet - not the candy bar. This reality, however, hasn't impeded the state of Delaware from appointing an Ambassador to Mars. Really.

Last week, the Governor of Delaware, Jack Markell, named one Dr. Noureddine Melikechi, vice-president for research at Delaware State University, as the state's "Ambassador to Mars" in recognition of his achievements as role in the launch of NASA's Mars Science Laboratory planned for November 25.. 

In a letter to Dr. Melikechi, the governor sang the praises of his state.
“As Delaware’s new Ambassador to Mars, we would very much appreciate it if you could let any Martian tourists or investors know that Delaware is conveniently located on the East Coast with a great port, strong community, excellent workforce and top-notch research facilities."

As expected in his role as governor, he also went on to promote his states local tourist attractions.
“We have beautiful beaches, important historic sites and, of course, tax-free shopping.”

I mean, one would assume or at least imagine or guess that there would be some type of  Mars/Earth/Delaware reciprocity and that Martian visitors could or would or might want to take advantage of the state's beaches, not to mention tax free shopping. Of course before all of this can take place, there have to be signs of life. But I digress.

“We appreciate your commitment to scientific excellence, your significant contributions to our state’s reputation as a cradle of innovation, and the esteem your work is bringing to the First State” the governor wrote.

 According to NASA, the MSL Curiosity rover has 10 science instruments to search for evidence that Mars had "environments favourable for microbial life, including the chemical ingredients for life."

The Governor provided a copy of Delaware’s new State Travel Guide to Dr. Melikechi. Although the guide is available at http://www.visitdelaware.com/, Melikechi will bring a paper copy in case Martian operating systems are not compatible with our technology.

He will be traveling to Cape Canaveral where he and his colleagues will be working in preparation for the launch.

Interesting promotional idea. If this catches on, can other states be far behind? Next thing you know, somebody will come up with a Martian to English dictionary...

Read the governor's letter here: http://news.delaware.gov/2011/11/18/governor-markell-names-ambassador-to-mars/

Lamb eyeball, anyone? How about fresh beaver tails?

Let's say...one is tired of the usual fast food options or the conventional menu offered at neighborhood eateries (not that there's anything wrong with local restaurants - I'm a fan). Perhaps there is an inner urge that can't be fulfilled at a buffet, a need for something different. Something on the exotic and perhaps a little eclectic side? How about some Nepali goat brain? Maybe live drunken shrimp, perhaps? Or lamb eyeball (no mention if it's served open or closed - hopefully closed), or perhaps boiled fertilized duck egg, a side of beaver tail. These food options are "average" fare for a group of adventurous diners who have named themselves, Gastronauts. Presumably, the name refers to gastronomical exotic fare and not the end result after eating unconventional food choices. But I digress. Already.

The group, created by two friends in 2006, were seeking out meals that offered a culinary experience not ordinarily found at your regular restaurants. Initially, the first meeting of the club, which has its home base in New York City, attracted a mere half dozen people. I can understand why. Over time, however, the membership has grown to 1000 eaters and plans are to expand to other U.S. cities.

The club, according to one Curtiss Calleo, an art director and graphic designer, who founded the club along with magazine editor, Ben Pauker, is open to all and has bankers, artists, designers among others, as members. There is no registration fee and members/participants pay for their own meals held monthly in restaurants.No mention of the name of host restaurants, though. The invitations are sent via e-mail to 70-80 people, who usually respond quickly to the invite.

In as far as the food served, at a recent gathering in New York for example, the invitees ate balut, a Philippine snack of boiled fertilized duck egg. Just wondering here what fertilized duck egg is preferred say...over unfertilized duck egg. Just a thought. Anybody know? But I digress. Again.

Other delicacies served at previous get together include cooked lamb eye ball. Pass. As an after thought, the vision of tail-less beavers is somehow personally worrisome.

Be that as it may, there may be people reading this who are interested in sampling food and would like more information on how and where to become a member:
http://www.gastronauts.net/

Snails succumb to deep freeze

Reading the headline of this story, many people are probably wondering what snails are or in this case, were, doing in a refrigerated environment. Snails for many of us, are slow moving invertebrates that live out their lives in our garden soil. However, the Powelliphanta giant land snails are considered an endangered species after the area in which they live(d),  Stockton Plateau on South Island in New Zealand, set up coal mining several years ago. Given their rarity, scientists in their wisdom, decided to save  6,000 of their kind by transferring them to a temperature-controlled room set up by the Department of Conservation. This leads one to wonder if the scientists who most likely had their (the snails) welfare at heart, took into consideration as to whether they (the snails) wanted to be relegated to a room for the rest of their lives. But I digress.

So anyway, the snails, which eat primarily worms and slugs can grow as large as 3.5" accross, can or could live up to 20 years - when their living conditions are favorable. Somehow, things went very wrong and a technical glitch caused temperatures to drop below freezing. Unable to sustain the sudden blast of cold, 800 of their kind were accidentally frozen to death. Sounds like a plot for a bad sci-fi movie.

This leads one to wonder as to why there weren't any systems or alarms set in place that would go off and warn the snail care-givers that something was wrong. But I digress. Again.

Meanwhile, the staff at the West Coast conservancy where they lived or at least existed depending on one's views, are said to be very upset. I bet. Seems that the temperature probe in one of three containers failed causing the room temperature drop to a point where the snails froze to death. Just how many snails are/were housed in each container, one wonders...

In response, staff will conduct more monitoring checks and will be setting up an alert system for surviving snail species. I bet. At least 360 snail eggs hatched this year and they were confident the specie would survive. Some environmentalists were of the opinion that this type of accident shows what can happen when development displaces wildlife from its natural habitat.

"Keeping our wildlife in fridges is obviously not how New Zealanders would like to care for native animals found nowhere else in the world. It's a sad fact that this has been the best option for them because moving them back to the wild in other parts of the West Coast has not worked,"  Nicola Vallance of New Zealand's Forest and Bird organisation commented.

Very sad that industry or poaching is causing the extinction of many species. I'm not a big snail fancier but somehow living out their lives in a climate controlled container is less than ideal. Then again, if scientists hadn't intervened, yet another species would disappear.

Here's a photo of one of them: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10765048

Bah - humbug! French department store drops Christmas carols for rock'n'roll

It's November and many - make that lots - of stores are heavy into Christmas decorations in spite of just coming out of Halloween. Actually, statistically, Halloween is big business when it comes to decorations and related items. But I digress.

Some people enjoy the holiday season and welcome the numerous appearances of mall Santas, plastic Christmas trees ("oh Eleanor - you're so cynical!") of many colors and the playing of the Little Drummer Boy over and over... But I digress. Again.

Then there are others who want to update Christmas and modernize the selection of musical offerings. Such is the case of Galerie Lafayette, a department store located in Paris, France, who recently made the decision to eliminate your Christmas carols with - wait for it - rock and roll. As they have done in seasons past, the store is once again putting on shows leading up to the big day but is seeking a means in which to attract and presumably entice a younger generation to their offerings and merchandise.

To this end, they are using rock legend Iggy Pop to pose for photo fliers dressed in a red Santa hat (does Santa know, one wonders), matching shoes and a custumary, electric guitar. In addition, a window show will include performances by a variety of major-label rock and folk bands. A change from the past is the replacement of cute, furry creatures and puppets in favor of life-size mannequins dressed in black leather, and rag dolls dressed in fashionable duds. This leads one to ask what they will do with your usual Christmas icons like snowmen, most likely relegated to a box in a warehouse, somewhere, never to see the light of day along with older puppets... But I digress. Again.

The bottom line, as expected, is the reason for the change with French household spending dropping 1.3% in September with spending on clothing falling by 7.3%. It will be interesting to see the reaction of French shoppers to the change. As a rule, people like to retain Christmas traditions and somehow Iggy Pop, with all due respect, isn't Bing Crosby singing "White Christmas" or "Petit Papa Noel" or "Mon Beau Sapin." Perhaps a combination of both the old and new?

Anyway, here's Iggy and his promo for the dept. store: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYHdX347BR4

Hmmmm - wonder how much he got paid...

"It!" - a fearful tale for Halloween

“Good enough to eat!” she snickered to herself, adjusting the pieces of raw fish on the platter that was filled to overflowing with a vast assortment of sushi. Opening her mouth slightly a thick stream of yellow saliva trickled down her chin landing squarely on top of the two centre pieces.

“My compliments to the chef,” she said in a whisper, cleaning the sushi with a napkin and then wiping the drool from her mouth.

Everything had to be perfect for the hungry theatre crowd that would soon descend upon the buffet like a swarming of bees.

Removing the cork from the champagne bottles, she inhaled the fumes as flashes of memory of her favorite beverage came flooding back. Home seemed like a far off recollection that was becoming more difficult to access with each passing day, but this was no time to fall back on reminiscences. Control and moderation were the guide words in preparation for the next and hopefully final step.

She was feeling quite isolated these days and images of her former life were the only thing that kept her going. It was becoming increasingly difficult to repress the other side. Back home it would be her day of maturation and a week of celebration, but she was here with work still to be done.

Patience, she had been reminded, was important for the success of their project.

“For heaven’s sake put the champagne in an ice bucket,” a voice behind her ordered. “Haven’t we taught you anything? Honestly – your type…” his voice trailed off as he moved down the table, his white linen serviette slapping away invisible crumbs from the tablecloth.

“You call this silverware polished?” he demanded, wiping the fork tines with a napkin. Such a lackadaisical effort but what can one expect coming from - your type? Why we agreed to take you on I’ll never know but only a little while longer, though, thank goodness.”

She felt something building in her chest that slowly moved up to her throat, and there was a definite pulsation on the right side of her eye.

“Ignore him,” one of the waiters whispered. “Their kind think they’re so smart but they’ll find out otherwise, very soon.”

“He knows exactly what he’s saying and those words are intentional to maximize their effect on me,” she responded, her gaze now focused directly on the source of her growing rage.

“It’s not uncommon for them to address each other in that manner,” the waiter offered, attempting to distract her attention. “I think they call it…sarcasm…”

At that point she had stopped hearing anything and started moving forward slowly at first, then picking up speed as she neared her target. He was sampling some of the dishes laid out on the table when she moved directly behind him.

“Can’t any of you do anything right?” he bellowed, spitting liquid back into the soup tureen. “I’ve had it. Tomorrow I’m going to start proceedings to have you all removed. I try and do a good thing and…”

At the point where she was almost on top of him he whirled around, his face contorted in fear with the sudden realization of what was happening. Her trajectory was slightly off that evening since she had forgotten to transfigure the night before. The head Imagineer had cautioned them to adhere to a daily routine or rapid degeneration would ensue. The waiter didn’t see the six foot green-grey mass of glowing orange skin and pulsating flesh lunge in his direction until it was too late. In fact there wasn’t even enough time for a scream to escape from his throat.

“The sushi could be a little off tonight,” she commented as his facial features blended into a bloody mass of flesh and bone, “and the roast beef is a little overcooked for my taste. Of course I prefer mine more on the very rare side…” she opined. “Now let me ask you something important.  Chablis or rosé?”

By the time the theatre crowd filed into the room, she had the glasses filled with champagne. The beverage fountain was a particular hit and speculation was rife as to the source of the unusual red-ish tint to it.

She removed the white linen serviette from her uniform pocket and folded it neatly, to be added to the rest of her earthly souvenirs.

“Don’t think you’ll be needing this anymore,” she whispered, patting her now bulging stomach. "Decorum is so important these days."

So what's on your cell phone? Lotsa germs

These days it's uncommon to see people without a cell phone in their hands while carrying on their every day lives. This includes from personal experience, talking while using a public toilet. Why the necessity and urgency to communicate with someone while answering nature's call to put it politely, is a mystery to me. I've been privy to people in nearby stalls gossiping on their cell phones while using the toilet facilities, making social arrangements and other inconsequential chatter. It can wait people! But I digress.

Research conducted by the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine and Queen Mary, University of London, a study suggested that one in six cell phones is - wait for it - contaminated with faecal matter, according to research for Global Handwashing Day, which took place on October 15. The researchers took almost 400 samples from phones ande hands in twelves British cities. Their findings are interesting in that 16% of phones and 16% of hands harbored E. coli bacteria.

Although 95% of people said they washed their hands with soap where possible, 92% of phones and 82% of hands had bacteria on them. Furthermore, 16% of hands and 16% of phones were found to harbour E. coli – bacteria of a faecal origin. Thinking further, this indicates at least to me that not everyone washes their hands when possible and not everyone tells the truth when asked.

Researchers travelled to 12 cities in various locations in England and took 390 samples from mobile phones and hands which were analysed in the lab to find out the type and number of germs lurking there. They also asked participants a series of questions about their handwashing habits.

To get back to National Handwashing Day, how many people reading this were even aware that this was a day put aside to - well - draw attention to the importance of washing hands. In the way of background information, the day was established by the Global Public-Private Partnership for Handwashing in 2008 to:


• Foster and support a global culture of handwashing with soap.
• Shine a spotlight on the state of handwashing in every country.
• Raise awareness about the benefits of handwashing with soap.

Global Handwashing Day was originally created for children and schools, but can be celebrated by anyone promoting handwashing with soap.

Each year, over 200 million people are involved in celebrations in over 100 countries around the world. Global Handwashing is endorsed by a wide array of governments, international institutions, civil society organizations, NGOs, private companies, and individuals.

Thinking further (again), 200 million people world wide are involved are involved in some way to the act of  washing their hands.

Here's a link for Global Handwashing Day: http://www.globalhandwashingday.org/About.asp

Dog owner has a brush with the law

One of the tasks and/or responsibilities of dog ownership is regular brushing of the dog's fur to keep it visually appealing, to reduce bacterial build up and reduce shedding. As a former dog owner/care giver/slave to a white haired very mixed breed pooch, the latter is important for people who don't enjoy the addition of dog fur on their clothes. Ask me about it. But I digress. Already.

As is the case with many dog owners pensioner, Ron Wyre, walks his dog Spencer and recently during a stroll in a Nottingham (England) park, decided to brush Spencer's fur. He was stopped from completing his task by a community protection officer who fined Wyre £75 for littering no less. The officer for his part claimed that he approached Wyre, who was wearing a high visibility uniform at the time, to ascertain whether he was impersonating an officer. His offence by the way, was leaving dog hair on the ground.

I mean, really - fur on the ground?

This leaves one to wonder if there is a clause in their local bylaws that covers dog hair or any pet hair. I mean, how can one determine the difference between dog, cat, squirrel, skunk or the remnants of any type of fur-bearing animal living in the area? Should their fur be under scrutiny of the law? Who should pay the fine?

According to a spokesperson for the powers-that-be, the fine was eventually dropped after further investigation and after the circumstances became clear and an apology issued. One wonders what type of circumstances were involved...

"I'd got in my pocket a bag (for doggie-doo) and I started to put it into that and took the fur home with me, but he still gave me the ticket. It was just ridiculous," Wyre commented.

Agreed.

There is an internal investigation into the incident. One wonders if other dog owners have been fined for a similar offence.

X-Factor - I came, I watched and nothing new

Given all the hype and promotion that "X-Factor" received and its longevity as a staple on British TV, there was a high expectation that it was something different...something special that deserves our attention. In the end, I came, watched and it's...okay. 'Okay' as in entertaining TV but nothing different than a lot of other shows that have a similar format.

Thing is, we have an established American Idol, which has earned a place in the hearts of TV viewers. It's even more surprising since Simon Cowell, the creator of X-Factor, was instrumental in AI's growth. For whatever reason, perhaps boredom or the desire to prove that he can create a superior show that will eat into Idol's numbers, Cowell depature doesn't seem to have hurt Idol in the least. As expected, he plays the role of X-Factor show grouch, which also adds nothing new to the show.

Upon evaluation of the performers, X-Factor seems to have better quality singers in a wide range of ages. To its credit, X-Factor doesn't have an age limit as does AI. The usually flaky but-not-like-she-used-to-be, Paula Abdul, who was picked up by Cowell as one of his X-Factor judges, doesn't really do anything for the show. She's just...there. The real "cement" of AI, Ryan Seacrest, in his role of interviewing the aspiring singers and hosting duties, gives AI a spark that X-Factor seems to lack. To put it bluntly, Steve Jones ain't no Ryan Seacrest. He's another one of those just...there.

In the end both shows offer aspiring singers, some of whom can actually sing, the opportunity to be on TV and perhaps their one and only shot at stardom. What is missing is something to distinguish the shows from being mirror images of each other.

Quick un-official curiousity poll/question: do you prefer American Idol or X-Factor?

Ig Nobel - awards that say 'we're different' and then some

There are many award ceremonies covering a plethora of subjects marking some type of accomplishment. Some awards recongize special abilities in a specific milieu that make the world a better and/or a more interesting place to live. Then we have the Ig Nobel Prizes, which "honor achievements that first make people laugh, and then make them think. The prizes are intended to celebrate the unusual, honor the imaginative — and spur people's interest in science, medicine, and technology."

These are my type of awards.

Recently, the winners and recipients of the award were announced on September 29 along with a live ceremony of the proceedings, which took place at Harvard University. What makes these achievements so memorable is the nature of the accomplishments. I mean, these are not your ardinary, run-of-the-mill subjects!

The PHYSIOLOGY PRIZE was awarded to Anna Wilkinson (of the UK), Natalie Sebanz (of THE NETHERLANDS, HUNGARY, and AUSTRIA), Isabella Mandl (of AUSTRIA) and Ludwig Huber (of AUSTRIA) for their study "No Evidence of Contagious Yawning in the Red-Footed Tortoise."  Not all types of tortoises but merely the Red-Footed Tortoise.

Who knew that there are red-footed tortoises and that they deserved studying for their yawning practises?

REFERENCE: 'No Evidence Of Contagious Yawning in the Red-Footed Tortoise Geochelone carbonaria," Anna Wilkinson, Natalie Sebanz, Isabella Mandl, Ludwig Huber, Current Zoology, vol. 57, no. 4, 2011. pp. 477-84.

The prize in CHEMISTRY went to Makoto Imai, Naoki Urushihata, Hideki Tanemura, Yukinobu Tajima, Hideaki Goto, Koichiro Mizoguchi and Junichi Murakami of JAPAN, for determining the ideal density of airborne wasabi (pungent horseradish) to awaken sleeping people in case of a fire or other emergency, and for applying this knowledge to invent the wasabi alarm.

Another shocker for me. Here I was under the impression that wasabi was merely a very strong horseradish to clean the sinuses. Go figure that somebody would even conceive that it could have another use as a fire alarm. Could be that when word gets out about this, there might just be a run on wasabi at the supermarket.

REFERENCE: US patent application 2010/0308995 A1. Filing date: Feb 5, 2009.

Now the MEDICINE PRIZE given to Mirjam Tuk (of THE NETHERLANDS and the UK), Debra Trampe (of THE NETHERLANDS) and Luk Warlop (of BELGIUM). and jointly to Matthew Lewis, Peter Snyder and Robert Feldman (of the USA), Robert Pietrzak, David Darby, and Paul Maruff (of AUSTRALIA) is somewhat logical (at least in my mind) for demonstrating that people make better decisions about some kinds of things — but worse decisions about other kinds of things‚ when they have a strong urge to urinate.

If one has to - well - pee badly, the only thought that comes to mind (at least mine) is where is the nearest toilet.

REFERENCE: "Inhibitory Spillover: Increased Urination Urgency Facilitates Impulse Control in Unrelated Domains," Mirjam A. Tuk, Debra Trampe and Luk Warlop, Psychological Science, vol. 22, no. 5, May 2011, pp. 627-633.

REFERENCE: "The Effect of Acute Increase in Urge to Void on Cognitive Function in Healthy Adults," Matthew S. Lewis, Peter J. Snyder, Robert H. Pietrzak, David Darby, Robert A. Feldman, Paul T. Maruff, Neurology and Urodynamics, vol. 30, no. 1, January 2011, pp. 183-7.

The PSYCHOLOGY PRIZE was awarded to Karl Halvor Teigen of the University of Oslo, NORWAY, for trying to understand why, in everyday life, people sigh.

We think - we sigh. Right?

REFERENCE: "Is a Sigh 'Just a Sigh'? Sighs as Emotional Signals and Responses to a Difficult Task," Karl Halvor Teigen, Scandinavian Journal of Psychology, vol. 49, no. 1, 2008, pp. 49–57.

John Perry of Stanford University, USA, was recognized for his Theory of Structured Procrastination, which says: to be a high achiever, always work on something important, using it as a way to avoid doing something that's even more important.

Never could have conceived that procrastination is or could be structured but then I was most likely busy doing other things.

REFERENCE: "How to Procrastinate and Still Get Things Done," John Perry, Chronicle of Higher Education, February 23, 1996. Later republished elsewhere under the title "Structured Procrastination."

BIOLOGY PRIZE: Darryl Gwynne (of CANADA and AUSTRALIA and the UK and the USA) and David Rentz (of AUSTRALIA and the USA) for discovering that a certain kind of beetle mates with a certain kind of Australian beer bottle.

Perhaps certain types of beetles are sight-challenged and Australian beer bottles resemble beetles. It's probably a good thing that the brand of Australian beer was omitted.

REFERENCE: "Beetles on the Bottle: Male Buprestids Mistake Stubbies for Females (Coleoptera)," D.T. Gwynne, and D.C.F. Rentz, Journal of the Australian Entomological Society, vol. 22, , no. 1, 1983, pp. 79-80

REFERENCE: "Beetles on the Bottle," D.T. Gwynne and D.C.F. Rentz, Antenna: Proceedings (A) of the Royal Entomological Society London, vol. 8, no. 3, 1984, pp. 116-7.

PHYSICS PRIZE: Philippe Perrin, Cyril Perrot, Dominique Deviterne and Bruno Ragaru (of FRANCE), and Herman Kingma (of THE NETHERLANDS), for determining why discus throwers become dizzy, and why hammer throwers don't.

This discovery would most likely be of high interest to discus tossers and hammer throwers. Seems it's something to do with motion sickness, accord to the reference supplied. Then again, why would a person who suffers from motion sickness take up these sports, one wonders.

REFERENCE: "Dizziness in Discus Throwers is Related to Motion Sickness Generated While Spinning," Philippe Perrin, Cyril Perrot, Dominique Deviterne, Bruno Ragaru and Herman Kingma, Acta Oto-laryngologica, vol. 120, no. 3, March 2000, pp. 390–5.

So here's an interesting one. The MATHEMATICS PRIZE: Dorothy Martin of the USA (who predicted the world would end in 1954), Pat Robertson of the USA (who predicted the world would end in 1982), Elizabeth Clare Prophet of the USA (who predicted the world would end in 1990), Lee Jang Rim of KOREA (who predicted the world would end in 1992), Credonia Mwerinde of UGANDA (who predicted the world would end in 1999), and Harold Camping of the USA (who predicted the world would end on September 6, 1994 and later predicted that the world will end on October 21, 2011), for teaching the world to be careful when making mathematical assumptions and calculations.

Mathematics prize? These dates really don't add up.

The PEACE PRIZE was awarded to Arturas Zuokas, the mayor of Vilnius, LITHUANIA, for demonstrating that the problem of illegally parked luxury cars can be solved by running them over with an armored tank.

So this leads one to wonder how Mayor Zuokas made this discovery. Peace prize?

PUBLIC SAFETY PRIZE: John Senders of the University of Toronto, CANADA, for conducting a series of safety experiments in which a person drives an automobile on a major highway while a visor repeatedly flaps down over his face, blinding him.

I mean, why-oh-why would a person drive a car on a major highway while a visor flaps down on his face? More important, who does the flapping?

REFERENCE: "The Attentional Demand of Automobile Driving," John W. Senders, et al., Highway Research Record, vol. 195, 1967, pp. 15-33. VIDEO

I mean, go figure!

Do we care? X-Factor joins American Idol vs The Voice...and so it goes

The fall TV line up is just beginning and already the comparison commentary has begun. This week "X-Factor", the singing competition highly promoted by Simon Cowell with good reason - it's his baby - made its debut. The American version of the successful Brit show that instroduced the world to Susan Boyle, boasted a live audience that reacted to the various singers.

As one of the original judges on American Idol since it first began in 2002, he announced his departure in 2010 to create the U.S. version of  "X-Factor." As one of the AI judges and along with Paula Abdul, the two threw verbal jabs at each other and in the end, Abdul ended up joining Cowell on his new project. Nothing like on view hostility, feigned or real, to get tongues wagging and viewers attention.

Have to admit that given all the pre-show attention and TV promos, I joined all the other viewers to see if the new addition justified a weekly committment to another talent show. Basically, that's what it all comes down to: the oldie-but-always-relevant talent parade. Years ago in the days of early TV when color TV was still in the dream stage, Ted Mack hosted "Ted Mack's Amateur Hour", the embryo of today's musical reality shows. It lacked the polish and finish of today's versions but the hopefuls did their thing hoping for stardom. The gimmick was that Mack spun a wheel with the names of the talent lineup to determine their order of appearance. Later the show was joined by the very weirdish, "The Gong Show." Obviously, TV viewers enjoy the idea of watching amateur talent put themselves at the mercy of judges critiques and the at-home voting machine.

As the French say, the more things change, the more they're the same and it will be interesting to see if X-Factor lives up to its hype. If initial ratings are an indication, American Idol has the numbers but it's still the early stages. To its credit, X-Factor doesn't have an age barrier, which is the reason the world is better for having Susan Boyle. In as far as originality is concerned, the show is basically same-old, same-old, IMHO, but some real talent was introduced.

At least the plethora of shows is giving singers, both good and bad, accross the country the opportunity to be heard. Let's be honest: it's an entertaining aspect of the programs. Always interesting to see how off-key some of the contestants can be. At least I restrict my singing to the shower.

Oh joy - another birthday

Last week I became one year older. Actually, I didn't have any choice in the matter. That's the problem with birthdays. It's not like somebody calls you up once per year and asks if you want one. You just get it anyway. It's the gift that keeps on giving, if you get my drift.

This was a particularly interesting year in that unlike most people, I thought I was one year older than I actually was. Don't ask me why or how this occurred but most likely it has to do with not enough fingers and toes with which to calculate and math never was my strong point in school. Most people fix their birthdate to make themselves younger, which is understandable.

Thinking further on my miscalculation, it's interesting how nobody picked up on it. Perhaps they too didn't have enough fingers or toes or it was easier to take me at my word. I mean, who lies about being older other than teenagers? Right? On the brink of becoming a teenager, we used to make ourselves a year older than we were because - I dunno - it seemed like a cool idea. Or when asked one's age, we would always supply a fraction as in: "oh I'm twelve and a half." As if the half made all the difference. There was a mysterious appeal in wanting to always be older but as many of us (not all) age, we start to go backwards. Let's just say I wouldn't want all the candles on the cake for safety reasons and leave it at that.

Pyschologically, this has adversely affected me. The error was discovered by my husband, who picked up on the miscalculation during a pre-birthday conversation. Stunned at the discovery I jotted down the year I was born and the present year, did the math and sure enough it all added up. I'm one year younger than I believed myself to be! So the issue now is - how do I celebrate the missing year and what to tell people who ask my age. Most likely they'll say: "but weren't you that last year?" I mean, what does one answer?

Lots of well-known people have commented about birthdays and getting older.
- "Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang ‘Happy Birthday’." (Stephen Wright)

- “Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.” (Dave Barry)

- “Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” (Jerry Seinfeld)

- "You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out." (Jerry Seinfeld)

- "A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
Erma Bombeck

For those who are trivial-y-minded, here is some trivial birthday facts in case you want to impress somebody with - well - birthday facts:

- More people celebrate their birthdays in August than in any other month (about 9% of all people). The two other months that rate high for birthdays are July and September.


- Close to 2 billion Birthday Cards are sent each year in the U.S. alone, accounting for nearly 58 percent of all cards sent.


- The world's largest birthday cake was created in 1989 for the 100th Birthday of the city of Fort Payne, Alabama. The cake weighed 128,238 pounds, 8 oz. and used 16,209 pounds of icing.


- The most famous rendition of "Happy Birthday" is when Marilyn Monroe sang to "Happy Birthday, Mr President" to President John F. Kennedy at Madison Square Garden on 19 May 1962.


- Paul McCartney's Birth Certificate was auctioned in March 1997, for US $84,146. It is believed to be the world's most expensive Birth Certificate.


- The Sultan of Brunei hosted the world's most expensive Birthday Party to celebrate his 50th Birthday on 13 July, 1996. The cost was a whopping US $27.2 million. Three concerts featuring Michael Jackson costs US $16 million of the total amounts.


- Anne Frank's world famous diary was given to her as a present for her 13th birthday.


- William Shakespeare's died on his 52nd birthday: 23 April 1616.


- A recent survey suggests that more people are born on October 5 in the United States than any other day. October 5 holds a not-so-surprising significance, as conception would have fallen on New Year's Eve.


- The least common birth date in the U.S. is May 22nd.

Thanks to modern technology and advances, there are new ways in which one is reminded of one's birthday. Like many people I'm a "Facebook-er" and this has given new meaning to the word "friends." Cyber friends want to mark the the day that they/we were born and to this end send birthday greetings. Really - I'm appreciative when people take the time to note my birthday especially since most don't realize that I've short-changed myself by a year. I've been dining in restaurants where people suddenly break out into a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday To You and I cringe. Not for me.

So now the question is which birthday should I celebrate and how many candles should be placed on the cake. My philosophy is keep them guessing.