This'n'that and the other - random thoughts about saucers

Don't ask me why but saucers have been on my mind, lately. Perhaps it's the result of a decreasing availability that's bothersome and somewhat perplexing. Just to clarify for people reading this and wondering if there have been visitations by unworldly beings, the saucers in question are the one's that go with teacups and act as receptacles for teabags.

Could be my early British origins in that there are conventions which have remained part of my essential nature. The afternoon tea ritual is part of a daily routine whereby life stops for a half hour or so to sit down for a "cuppa",  however, therein lies the problem. Over time it seems to me that saucers  have all but disappeared. In conducting some personal research, it appears that your matching tea cup and saucer have been slowly replaced by  your pedestrian mugs. Not that there's anything wrong with mugs per se, the choice of coffee drinkers, but tea drinkers need somewhere to place their used teabags and saucers fulfill that need. We tea drinkers have needs or requirements that coffee drinkers don't need to worry about.

For whatever reason, tableware manufacturers appear to have made the decision to eliminate or phase out the need for saucers. Perhaps there was a move to acquiesce to the world of coffee drinkers who are content to consume their beverage of choice out of paper cups. Consuming tea out of a paper cup is sacrilege for tea drinkers - okay - it is for me, anyway. In my view, paper interferes with the flavor and once again, what does one do with the used teabag, which leads me back to my original point.

"Spread the word," a dishware manufacturer might have told his workers, "we're cutting back on the production of saucers. If it's good enough for coffee drinkers - it's good enough for them teabag soakers."

"But what are they supposed to do with their used teabags?" a worker and tea drinker might have asked.

"Let 'em drink iced tea," the dishware manufacturer could have responded off-handedly and hence that could have been the creation and impetus for a new beverage. But I digress.

Thinking back, my grandfather who hailed from Russia, loved his afternoon glass of tea. The act
of sipping the hot liquid slowly until it cooled, was part of a ritual consisting of blowing on the surface for a short time followed by pouring the tea into a saucer and sipping it slowly for the finishing touch. What would he have used had a saucer not been available? A soup bowl? One can only speculate but somehow and knowing grandfather, it wouldn't have sufficed.

When it comes to the subject of tea time and societal correctness, Debretts is one of the best sources, at least in my eyes. Although no mention is made directly regarding the tea saucers and their disappearing act, the source does provide some interesting advice on how to drink tea and the important role of the saucer. According to Debretts, a spoon should be used to stir the tea  - this is important - without clinking it against the side of the cup and - still more very important and telling information regarding the saucer - should be placed back in the saucer. Note the usage of the saucer here. Once more saucers are the focus with advice that includes saucers remain on the table and never raised when the cup is lifted up to the lips. Perhaps - pure speculation - keeping the saucer on the table would prevent the breakage of the saucer in case some tableware manufacturers decide in the future to phase out the saucers. But I digress.

I'm wondering why the emphasis on not clinking the spoon against the cup. Is it the noise factor one wonders. Can't speak for others (why would I want to, anyway) and keep this to yourself but I'm guilty of hitting the side of the cup when stirring my tea. Actually I never gave stirring a second thought to be honest and nobody has drawn this faux pas to my attention, or perhaps they were too polite to mention it.

"Excuse me, Eleanor, but you appear to hit the side of  the cup with your spoon when stirring your tea," somebody might have but hasn't as yet, asked. To which my response would be, "oh really? Yeah - and?"

"Where there's tea, there's hope." - Arthur Wing Pinero. Along with the return of the saucer.

Fishing around

The festive period is fast approaching, along with all the entertaining duties that accompany visiting  family members and friends. As mentioned on numerous occasions here and no disrespect intended to other social gurus like Martha Stewart et al, when it comes to wining and dining savoir faire, Debretts is a good source to consult.

Last time, the focus was on the selection and imbibing of champagne including the proper way to open  the bottle. Among the advice offered by Debretts was that the choice of drinking receptacle is an important factor to enhance the experience and taste and that a tulip-shaped flute glass be used to preserve the bubbles. I mean, what's champagne without bubbles? Like wine without a  vintage. Right? It's not called bubbly for nothing. The glass flute (somehow "flute" reminds me of the musical instrument even though there is no way it could be used for drinking purposes...just a thought, such as it is...but I digress) should or even must be held by the stem to keep the liquid cold. Getting back to the bubble aspect...

As an aside (big on these) a study conducted by the University of Reims Champagne-Ardenne, in France, suggests that there are 15 million bubbles fizzing in a single glass of champagne. A researcher studied the role of the carbon dioxide (CO₂) throughout its journey from the bottle to the glass, focusing on the second fermentation stage, resulting in the CO₂ dissolution into the wine -- aided by the addition of yeast and sugar before sealing each champagne bottle -- to the stage where the gas escapes through tiny bubbles popping on the surface of the wine in the glass.
(http://sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/02/120214100930.htm) Go figure! Somebody actually studied champagne bubbles. Just thinking...wonder if any tasting was involved... Just a thought.

By the way if anyone reading this is interested in studying champagne other than by a taste test and happens to be in the Reims, France, vicinity, the Institut des Hautes Etudes du Goût, de la Gastronomie et des des Arts de la Table is offering a course, entitled, "The Physics of Champagne Bubbles."  No mention whether a degree is offered for those who pass or complete the course. What would it be called? A BA in Bubble Study?

A good match for champagne is caviar, or the roe of the sturgeon fish. As mentioned previously, it's not a personal favorite but it certainly has its adherents. The average portion of caviar is 30 grams. According to advice offered by www.thevivant.com/complete-guide-on-how-to-buy-and-eat-caviar/#ixzz3KbXMsixS  a special spoon made of bone, crystal or mother of pearl should be used in order to preserve the taste and eaten in amounts smaller than a tablespoon. This sounds like logical advice given the high end price of what in the end, is fish eggs. Furthermore, it's good etiquette to consume caviar in small bites. One would never deign to stuff one's mouth with caviar and if one does, one should immediately take a large gulp of champagne to wash it down (my personal advice, not experience). Champagne always seems to make things right. In my mind - such as it is - there is a somewhat snobbish appeal to being served caviar at a party:

"Yes Felicia - they served the golden caviar with crackers. Only the best and found in only one in 1000 osetra sturgeon. I must remember to pick up a can at the supermarket tomorrow for the bridge club ladies."

Debretts also offers advice on eating lobster although it's a specie that is morally difficult to eat - at least for me. Somehow, it's hard to reconcile seeing a future meal positioned in a tank of water along with others of its kind, waiting to be selected as a main course. Moreover, when served whole, it's also problematic to eat a food that stares back at you with accusatory eyes that seem to say, "killer!" Then again, perhaps it's just me. The actual eating of the lobster requires the wearing of a bib while grasping the shell in one hand, while the other hand slowly and methodically uses a lobster cracker to reveal the flesh, after which it's pulled out with a lobster pick. Oh the angst of being a tasty crustacean favored by many!

Last but not least, snails is another shell type food, which has its devotees. Having never consumed one but spotted a number in the garden, can't comment on their flavor value. Judging by their size, not much to eat and once again work is required to remove them from their shell. Debretts advice includes the use of snail tongs to remove the meat, yet another meal requiring work.

Speaking (or writing about) snails, while researching this piece, came across the Mother Earth News ( http://www.motherearthnews.com/real-food/escargot-zmaz93jjztak.aspx#axzz3KgXXPBpg) site, which advocates using your very own snails found in the garden. FYI, the site provides among other interesting facts, this background info.: "The common garden snail, Helix aspersa, is a close relative of France's commercially harvested Helix pomatia. Both can be found on French dinner plates, where the former goes by the affectionate "petit gris" (little gray) to distinguish it from its cousin gros blanc (large white)." A snail, is a snail is...

Perhaps Jean-Paul Sartre sums it all up: "“It is not a matter of indifference whether we like oysters or clams, snails or shrimp, if only we know how to unravel the existential significance of these foods.”

Whatever you say, Jean-Paul.

Debretts guides us the right way during the social season



"Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right."
Mark Twain


In a little over a month, people will be in a celebratory state of being as the month of December ushers in Christmas and the holiday period in general. It's also the time when friends and family members gather together for a memorable festive meal. When it comes to the "how-to's" of conducting oneself in public and social deportment in general, Debrett's is the guide to consult with when it comes to acting correctly in public. It's a good source for ensuring that one does the socially correct thing as to not embarrass oneself. For example, there is more to merely sipping champagne and wine.

A bottle of chilled champagne is always a good start to a holiday meal and accordingly, there are rules and regulations as to how it should be served. Maybe not rules and regulations as such but suggestions to get the most out of champagne. Have to confess or at least own up to the fact that perhaps I've imbibed in high end champagne less than a half-dozen times in my entire life. You know - special occasions - and found the taste somewhat dry and lip-pucker-inducing. Then again, I'm not big on caviar, either. A little bit too fishy and slimy going down for my taste. But I digress. So now about champagne.

Rule number 1: do not shake the bottle of champagne prior to opening it. Don't quite know why somebody would do that other than for personal amusement to see the end result but obviously if this is a precaution, than  obviously one should keep it away from potential champagne shakers. You know who you are!  Unlike in the movies, it's wasteful, not to mention messy, to have a large stream of champagne dripping down from the ceiling. Then there's the ensuing issue of who should clean up the mess including what to do with inebriated pets. Moving on...

Rule number 2: the champagne bottle should be opened by peeling off the foil over the cork. My solution for difficult tasks such as tricky foil removal especially if there's a threat of broken finger nails that have been newly manicured, or the retrieval of  broken corks stuck inside bottles, is made easier with the help of fork tines or the tip of steak knives. I mean, these things happen even with champagne bottles.

Rule number 3: Most important in order to avoid an incident as in the case of rule number one, bottle should be pointed away from the person opening the bottle. It should also not be pointed in the direction of family members and/or friends sitting around the table. In my mind, the bottle should be pointed at a 45 degree angle....

Rule number 4: Remove metal cage over the cork. Just wondering the rationale behind placing a "metal cage" over the bottle head and cork. According to Wikipedia - Wiki is as knowledgeable as Debretts in many subjects and areas:
"A muselet is a ware cage that fits over the cork of a bottle of champagne, sparkling wine or beer to prevent the cork from emerging under the pressure of the carbonated contents. It derives its name from the French, museler, to muzzle. The muselet often has a metal cap incorporated in the design which may show the drink maker's emblem. They are normally covered by a metal foil envelope. Muselets are also known as wire hoods or Champagne wires."

Somehow, the term "wire hoods" reminds one (me) of a gang of champagne thieves, as in: "Today, le gang de muselet conducted a daring robbery and emptied out the Café des Artistes Qui Boivent du Champagne Directement de la Bouteille (English translation: the café of artists who drink champagne directly from the bottle) located in downtown Montmartre." But I digress - again.

Rule number 5 and 6: Hold the cork in one hand and the bottle in the other. This is what could be classified as the "duh" moment. Cork one hand...bottle in other. I mean, how else would one open a bottle? At this point, the open-ee should prepare for the next step being the removal of the cork. This is the point where it all comes together and the big reveal.

Rule number 7: Gently and slowly and ever-so-carefully, twist (not wrench) the bottle - not the cork.

Rule number 8: Debretts advises when removing the cork to "aim for a sigh - not a pop." So I'm thinking here, I mean, what's the difference if a person sighs or yells or even swears out loud when opening the bottle? Is there some type of unwritten rule somewhere where champagne has to be opened with a sigh? Anybody know? But I digress. Once more.

Anyway...moving right along...champagne should be served in tulip shaped fluted glasses, since the shape of the glass preserves the bubbles. The glasses must be absolutely clean and even remnants of dishwashing liquid can cause the champagne to lose its fizz. We all know that nothing tastes as bad as champagne that has lost its fizzle like many other things in life.  Right?


Moving on and related to the issue of spirits, ordering wine in a restaurant can be challenging for many people who are not knowledgeable about vintage, or a growing region, the grape question or aging. For many of us, wine is relegated to red or white, period.  This could present a problem when dining in a good restaurant especially when one is required to taste said wine.

1.  According to Debretts, "the waiter will show you the bottle and the cork so that you can verify your wine's identity." Really - as a person who drinks wine on an occasional basis, identification of the wine really doesn't have an impact on whether or not I like it. I taste it - if it pleases my taste buds - it's okay.

2.  One should never smell the cork. Again, it never occurred to me to smell the cork. I mean, why would I want to? Seems that the cork is to be used a means in which to strictly provide information. When was the last time you read a cork? Can't say that I ever have.

3.  One should swirl a small amount of wine in the glass when it is served by a waiter, followed by a sniff.  People unsure of the scent may take a small sip to ascertain it's taste and quality. My philosophy as far as this is concerned is if a sniff doesn't mean anything, chances are neither would a sip. In any case, once this is all completed, the wine is ready to drink. At last.

Now that the delicate issue of opening champagne and the selection of wine has been completed. it's time to actually sit back and enjoy the fruits of one's labors, in the true sense of the word. Only one thing to add to that: Cheers.

Next time we'll examine the various foods and their serving for the holiday period and their consumption.

Tea talk - so what's the big thing?

Now that the popular TV series, "Downton Abbey", has caught the imagination of people who wanna-be-titled-and-live-in-big-estates-with-servants, tea is hot stuff. We're not talking hot as in serving temperature because that goes without saying, tea has to be boiling hot. The term 'hot' as in popularity and more specifically, the repast of indulging in afternoon tea.

As a confirmed tea drinker, any time of the day or night is a good time to drop a tea bag in a mug and indulge in a cuppa, as the Brits say. Having lived in England during the formative years of my life, tea played an important role. Rules related to savoring the juice of the leaf were clear cut accompanied by a certain decorum. A substantial amount of attention was paid to mannerly conduct including the placement of wrists on the table, stirring the liquid, passing the biscuits and related goodies to the point that it was almost a relief when tea time was over. But I digress.

If indeed the afternoon tea ritual is gaining in popularity as reports indicate, hopefully new tea drinkers won't be penalized for not knowing or following the basic fundamentals of tea drinking. When it comes to tea rituals and every day etiquette, Debretts has it all. In fact, last year I shared some of their advice in one of my blogs: http://myviewscount.blogspot.ca/2012/06/at-last-something-for-tea-drinkers-of.html

The reason for alluding to this subject once again is a recent article I read focusing on the ritual of afternoon tea according to a chain of North American hotels that offers this repast. For example, the article advocates the British concept of pouring milk into a cup before adding tea. Presumably, we're talking here about brewed tea in a pot and not a tea bag. In theory, this is all well and good but, say for example, too much milk is poured into the cup and thereby turning the tea tepid. There is nothing worse than luke-warm tea. Actually, for me, there are worse things like using hot milk in tea. Somehow, biscuits don't seem to dunk well in tepid tea temps.  In spite of the accepted norms of tea drinking , it's my findings that milk is best added after the tea is in the cup in order to gauge the darkness of the contents, depending on whether one likes one's tea weaker or stronger. Right tea drinkers of the world?

The article also recommends the best way to stir tea would you believe, which would necessitate having a watch or clock nearby. One should hold the tea spoon at the six o'clock angle, moving it back and forth without touching the sides of the cup. This leads one - me - to wonder what would happen, say, if the tea drinker would hold the spoon, say, at the seven o'clock or even eight o'clock position? Is there a penalty involved?

"Eleanor dear," somebody watching me commit the heinous act of holding the spoon at the quarter to seven angle, could comment, "just want to point out that you're holding the spoon in an incorrect manner. I must now confiscate your tea cup as punishment."

I mean - gimme a break!

Last but certainly not least, there is also input focusing on - wait for it - how to hold a tea cup. Really. In case people reading this aren't knowledgeable in this particular area, the index finger should be placed in the cup handle with thumb on the top. Not on the side or bottom mind you but strictly on the top. Thinking further, never really noted as to where my fingers are placed .  Furthermore, the bottom of the handle should rest in the third finger. Not the second or pinky finger, but the third finger. Sometimes - keep this to yourself since this could be considered blasphemous by died-in-the-wool tea drinkers - I don't use the handle at all and hold the cup on the side.

There is nothing mentioned regarding the number of spoons of sugar would suffice or the common usage of sugar replacement but there is mention of the practice of blowing on the hot tea to cool it off, considered a no-no. My grandfather who was from "the old country" used to pour his tea into his saucer as a means of getting it to cool down in addition to copious blowing on the liquid, followed by the placing a cube of sugar in his mouth, before taking a sip of tea.. Wonder what the tea etiquette people would say about that!

After reading through the list of do's-and-don'ts and really in the end, a cup of tea is a cup of tea is... It's that wonderful feeling that flows through your body as the tea makes its way to the final destination of the stomach. The manner in which its consumed isn't as important - in my opinion - as the enjoyment it gives. To quote Monty Python: "make tea, not war."

To tea or not to tea. The Downton Abbey syndrome

For the last couple of years and as is the case with many people who indulge in an afternoon beverage break, I find myself thinking more about the proper way to serve tea. Usually, tea for me consist of a large mug with the words, “I heart New York” written across the front in large black letters, the dropping of a tea bag inside followed by the slow pouring (has to be slow to bring out the full flavor) of boiling hot water and allowing it to steep for a few minutes, finishing off with a drop of milk (cold – not hot). I’m giving a lot of thought nowadays to the idea of switching to using a tea cup and teapot.

Having spent the first six years of my childhood in England, tea has always played an important role in my life and now with the emergence of Downton Abbey on the TV screen, I feel a pull back to ye old country customs, be it on a much more limited scale.

For those of us who are devoted and confirmed Downton Abbey-ists, we can blame the BBC and Julian Fellowes for springing Lord and Lady Grantham and the Crawley family experience on to the TV screen. In essence, it’s a soap opera where the characters are members of a privileged upper-class aristocratic family and the internal rivalry of their servants. Viewers like moi, get to share the ups and downs of the various family members as they live out their lives in ignorant bliss and splendor, while being served hand-to-foot in the true sense of the word, by servants who cater to their every need and whim.

It’s not difficult to see why the series has caught the imagination of royal watchers and soap opera followers (like me). How many of us wouldn’t like the experience of owning and wearing splendiferous clothes throughout the day and changing them depending on who rings the bell? Dining would always be a special occasion and take place in the various dining rooms, depending on the time of day and importance of thevisitors. Mornings would call for the silver serving pieces and white linen tablecloths and napkins. Place mats and paper napkins would never do.

“Excuse me, Eleanor,” Lord Tylbor would utter while scanning the financial section of the newspaper. “Could you pass me the butter and the marmelade?”

“Dearest husband, Lord Tylbor...sweetie,” I would or could respond as a servant pours tea from a beautiful bone china designer teacup, adding a touch of milk, two lumps of sugar followed by a quick stir. “As you will recall, we no longer use butter in favor of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” due to your cholesterol problem. Besides, we do have a butler to do those menial things like butter passing.”

There are certain rules and regulations to be followed and as mentioned in previous blogs, my favorite source of etiquette is Debretts. When it comes to doing and knowing the right way to conduct oneself, Debretts has it all.

"It is the responsibility of 
the person who has invited you to brief you on what you should expect. If in doubt, always ask before you attend as codes of conduct and etiquette are strictly observed.
You should arrive on time and dress appropriately, following the dress code on your invitation. Look particularly to the top table for cues as to when to sit down, start eating, leave the table etc. Refrain from leaving the table during dinner. Table manners should be faultless; this really is the time to be on your best behaviour," Debretts offers in the way of helpful advice.

Advice is also available on bathroom etiquette. "When nature calls, either slip away quietly or excuse yourself from the group. Leave it clean, always flush and never discuss." This leads one - me - to ponder why one would discuss one's bathroom habits. I mean, it's not a dinner topic. Thinking further, one could share toilet flushing techniques but that's about all.

 Back to Downton Abbey.

All the series characters are interesting in their own right but the one that has stood out as a favorite is Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess of Grantham. Her zingers are anticipated as much as the story lines. Here are a few of my favorites accumulated over time.

Cora: "Things are different in America."
Lady Grantham: "I know. They live in wigwams."

(Upon being told the swivel chair was invented by Thomas Jefferson) "Why does every day involve a fight with an American?"

"So that’s Mary’s replacement. Well I suppose looks aren’t everything."Sir Richard: "I'm leaving in the morning. I doubt we'll meet again."
Lady Grantham: "Do you promise?"

Mrs Crawley: “I take that as a compliment.”
Lady Grantham: “I must have said it wrong.”

 "I have plenty of friends I don't like."

 "Last night! He looked so well. Of course it would happen to a foreigner. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else's house."

"One can't go to pieces at the death of every foreigner. We'd all be in a constant state of collapse whenever we opened a newspaper."

(Struggling with the newly installed telephone) "Is this an instrument of communication, or torture?"

Having watched seasons one through three at least twice I’m looking forward to the next installment. According to “spoiler” reports, Mary, now a widow, will get a new love in her life, and being treated to the Dowager Countess's bons mots is something to look forward to. Meanwhile, there’s always tea in the I heart New York mug with water poured after a full boil – never tepid – accompanied by a scone and jam. The Crawleys would understand.

Some thoughts about Valentine's Day

The first thing wrong with Valentine's Day is that it falls at the wrong time of the year when a portion of the world is deep in the throes of winter woes. It would be much better if the holiday fell during late Spring or early summer, for example. Here's a thought: why not switch Valentine's Day, with let's say...Mother's Day, for example? Mothers being blessed with extra-understanding qualities wouldn't mind observing their special day in winter. Right moms?

This holiday aimed at romantics came about a long time ago when the Bishop of Spoleto was martyred on February 14, AD 271. Traditionally, Valentine's Day was celebrated as a lover's feast, hence the reason for restaurants offering special gastronomical banquets. Profit has nothing to do with it, of course.

According to http://www.theromantic.com/, statistically, 110 million Valentine's roses are sold and delivered in a three-day period surrounding February 14th, the vast majority of which are red. Of those 110 million, 73% are purchased by men and a mere 27% are purchased by women. It's intereseting, at least to me that red roses are the number one color choice. Roses do come in other tints including yellow, pink, white and shade mixes. Somehow, the color red is viewed as a passionate hue, implying pasionate undertones, which is probably the reason that men are attracted to this particular tint and stick to giving red roses. Then again, so is black... But I digress.

In as far as the selection of flowers, we look to Debretts once again, "the" guide to social etiquette, for its take blooms.

•Be prepared to spend, and don't economise. Never buy bunches from the supermarket or garage.
Garage? People sell flowers from garages? I thought that was the place one stored trash cans that hold dead rose bushes. Ask me about it. I know.

•Don't overlook the importance of the card that accompanies a delivered bouquet - it is an important part of the present.
Really, if you take the time to select a special assortment of flowers - and money - it seems logical that you at the very least, take credit for it. No? I mean, "guess who?" really leaves it open to speculation.

•Make sure the bouquet suits the occasion and the style of the recipient (e.g. classic or contemporary).
In other words, don't give your special friend a Venus Fly Trap for example, in the way of a card and gift. If someone wants to get rid of insects, they can call an exterminator. Really.

•Avoid white flowers for celebratory bunches (they are often associated with funerals and death).

•Mixed bouquets can look cheap if they aren't substantial and well-styled; instead, consider buying a bunch of all one type of bloom or going for just a single colour.
Personally, I believe in using flowers growing in or around one's garden. When one thinks about it, dandelions fit the bill perfectly and they are virtually...everywhere, plus they are free for the asking. Or for that touch of greenery, add some three (four leaf are hard to find) leafed clover.

•Utilize greenery - it can bulk up the bouquet and complement the flowers - and pick seasonal blooms, which will be in better condition.
Perhaps consider adding some dill or chives to make a bouquet look fuller. They serve a double purpose and can also enhance a home-made pot of soup that can be used as an entree for the Valentine's Day supper. Two gifts for the price of one! Can't go wrong!

That Debrett's has the right answers to suit all occasions. Of course they will be consulted for advice on social dilemmas. But I digress...again.

Thinking back, my first encounter with romance was a somewhat painful experience. We were both nine years old and after our school day ended, we enjoyed sitting on my front stairs discussing life as seen through our eyes. One day for no apparent reason and without any prior warning, he leaned over and kissed me square on the cheek. To say I was aghast was an understatement and reacted instantaneously by making a fist and thrusting it square into his stomach. He groaned while doubling over in pain. We stared at each other for what seemed like forever but was probably no more than a few seconds, as tears welled up in his eyes and spilled on to his cheeks. Clutching his stomach, he took off like a bat out of hell and never looked back. Ever. We never spoke again and he refused all overtures of friendship.

Came accross this quotation, which sums up love and Valentine's Day:
"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. (Unknown Author)

Aint't that the truth.

Human nature (and blog readers) never cease to amaze

As a person who enjoys blogging about...nearly everything, actually, I enjoy keeping track of which blog pieces continuously surface to the top.

Anything to do with royalty seems to be of interest to everyone world-wide, or at least people who drop by Gimme a Break (this blog) and when I, along with many... Make that a gazillion other people didn't get an invitation to the royal wedding last year, I shared my disappointment and angst with anyone who happened by.
http://myviewscount.blogspot.ca/2011/04/royal-wedding-list-minus-my-name.html

Related to the wedding and even if one (me) had received an invite, one would be required to know how to act in front of royalty and invitees.
http://myviewscount.blogspot.ca/2011/04/royal-behavior-what-are-rules.html

To this end, a consultation with Debrett's, the word when it comes to things societal, as written on their site: "Debrett's is the modern authority on all matters etiquette, taste and achievement. Recognising people of distinction and the finer things in life are true to Debrett's heritage, rooted in publishing chronicles of the great and the good over the past two centuries" was in order in case one (me again) is invited to a royal affair. People appear to enjoy my take on this issue.

Also popular in the royalty-related category or at least something that is still around, is my confession that I missed the Queen's Jubilee Party and celebrations. What can I say - yet another invitation obviously lost in the mail.

These days the most popular topic seems to be a piece written in 2009 focusing on an invention of a dual bra that could if the need be most likely, converted into a gas mask. In fact this unusual invention won a Ig Nobel prize. Actually, when the list of award-ees was released, this particular award stood out among the rest. I mean - think about it - a bra that could also act as a gas mask. This made me think ("oh do share your thoughts, Eleanor!") if - and I say/write, if - this was feasible, the bulkyness of the gas mask would make the wearing of the bra unconfortable, n'est pas? Also, if it became apparent that there was some type of gas in the air, the speed in which one could unhook said bra and place it on one's face would be slow. Just some thoughts that spring to mind. But I digress.

BONUS...BONUS! VIDEO OF DR. BODNAR RECEIVING HER BRA/GAS MASK CONVERSION IG NOBEL AWARD
For those people reading this who are still interested in this interesting...device, did some research and came accross a YouTube video of Dr. Bodnar receiving her award and discussing her invention.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxf3HK21BWI

Let it not be said or written that I don't go the extra mile for my blog readers!

Also still on the list are Rufus the Turkey has left the building and a complaint that rates at the top of my...complaint list is the usage of cell phones in places where they shouldn't be used (example: in a bathroom while you-get-the-picture), in a movie theatre.

As long as residents of planet earth continue being who and what they are, I will endeavor to continue to seek out the unusual...the unconventional...the weird-ish stories that make this blog what it is. Whatever.

How do be a good Christmas guest - Debretts knows

So let's say...an invitation is extended from a friend, family member or aquaintance to their annual or semi-annual or once-in-a-while Christmas get-together. In responding affirmatively to the invitation, there are certain responsibilities that are attached to attending a festive gathering. The source for all things social is Debretts, who offer a guide on anything and everything for all occasions. One can adapt the advice as one sees fit.

First on the list, Debretts suggests that guests arrive with, in their words, "goodies." This means to me that one should ascertain the ages and tastes of the host family before showing up with what could be embarrassing gift selections, like a set of cosmetics for a young female instead of a male. Then again... But I digress. Or, a tie to suit a family member recalled as Bruce, who ends up being the family pooch.

Speaking or writing about the family pooch, there is no mention regarding decorum where pets are concerned. Nothing noted regarding the passing of food tidbits under the table to whining or barking dog(s), neither is there any guidance as to how to proceed for dogs that beg while performing cute tricks. On the other hand, this would not be applicable to the family cat who prefer to make a statement walking accross the table... But I digress.

Another suggestion from Debretts is to check out what food item to bring along. Bean cassserol (here's Martha Stewart"s recipe for interested persons: http://www.marthastewart.com/340211/green-bean-casserole) is not everyone's cup of tea, so to speak, or aspic (for more about aspic, check this out: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-aspic.htm Somehow gelatin embedded with meat pieces doesn't do it for me, at least. Gelatin by itself, however, i.e. Jello et al, is a favorite personal dessert but definitely does not travel well in a warm car. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjBHgPeg8T4

As a guest, Debretts advises, don't take over the role of host. This would or could include monopolizing the conversation focusing on, for example, past get-togethers and/or family fiasco celebrations. Memory joggers like "remember when blah-blah danced with the floor lamp and eneded up being treated for electric shock" -type reminders is not mannerly table talk. In the way of help, here are some conversation starters focusing on a wide range of subjects - take your pick and be witty: http://aesthetichealingmindset.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/social-savvy-for-the-holidays-%E2%80%93-conversation-starters-for-more-interesting-table-talk/

Debretts also suggests that thoughtful guests offer their assistance in the kitchen. This could include salad- making or dish drying or aspic de-geling (is aspic still on the holiday menu, one wonders or was it ever?), which is tricky (http://whatscookingamerica.net/gelatintip.htm) and the wrong move can result in a plate of colored liquid. But again, I digress.

In as far as missing a favorite TV program, Debretts suggests that recorders be set up to ensure that favorite programs aren't missed. Don't make demands of the hosts to watch a favorite show. Perhaps other guests may also have their own favorite TV program like the weekly football telecast while other may be fans of X-Factor or Glee, which could cause program conflicts. Perhaps a good conversation starter is to go around the table and vote as to which programs to watch. Just a suggestion.

Another suggestion is not to comment (or presumably criticize) a host's way of entertaing, Debretts advises.
No statements or subjects that touch on bedtime activities like "When I was young, we had our Christmas cake at 5 o'clock and were in bed by 8…" Comments like these will always be seen as implied criticisms, and should be avoided at all costs."

Get into the spirit of the get together and as Debretts advises, "don't be a party pooper." If everyone participates in a Christmas sing-a-long featuring Barry Manilow singing holiday favorites (for example), sitting with folded arms and mumbling bad words to one-self  is not being a good guest.

Once the wine bottles or fruit juice have gone and the aspic has disolved into a color-less liquid with pieces of disgusting grey meat floating on the surface, it's polite to thank the hosts for extending an invitation to their holiday party. Debretts suggests that  you "thank the host effusively for his/her hospitality."

"Thanks for the invite even though I missed the big game," is not nice. Neither is "did we mention we changed our address, phone number and e-mail?"

After all and in the end, it's all part of the Christmas celebration.

Duchess gives away fortune all for love

Came accross an interesting piece about an 85 year old Duchess in Spain, who is marrying a man 24 years younger. This in itself isn't news but what makes this story interesting is that the Duchess Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James is a multi-millionaire, and to underline that their relationship is based on real love, she is giving away all her worldly possessions including big buckeroonies.

The Duchess, who is one of the wealthiest women in Spain, is estimated to be worth between $850 million and $5 billion, give or take a million or two, and one could see how the wealth could add to her attractiveness ("Oh Eleanor - you're such a cynic!"). Hence the decision to give away all her worldly possessions to prove to the world that love will pay the bills...or at least that her relationship with one Alfonso Diez, a civil servant is based on something else other than money and all that it can buy.In addition, her six offspring aren't crazy about the forthcoming nuptials and this was the basis for her decision. Really, in the end, the kids/grandchildren will be the real beneficiaries, being the recipients of her fortune.

"Alfonso doesn't want anything. All he wants is me," she had commented regarding their relationship earlier in the year.

Don't want to sound cynical but one wonders if this was before or after Alfonso was made aware that they would be living on love, alone. Thinking further about their relationship, why bother marrying at all? Why not just live together as many people do these days?

A further thought (too much time on my hands, obviously) in as far as the wedding is concerned. Having not been invited to "the wedding" (Will and Kate)...that is to say, my invitation having been lost in the mail, perhaps - just perhaps - an invitation will be/could be/might be forthcoming to this one? I mean - what would one wear if one was invited to a wedding of a multi-millionaire-ess Spanish Duchess who will have a modest affair having given away her fortune? I shall be checking my mail box in the event that an invitation could be wedged inside.

According to a report in a Spanish newspaper, her eldest son, Carlos, inherits the Liria Palace in Madrid and the Monterrey Palance in Salamanca, as well as the family fortune. Her only daughter, Eugenia, inherits an estate in Ibiza and a further 600 acres near Seville.

The duchess has been friends with Diez for several years. There were rumors of a wedding in 2008 but her children nixed the idea of marriage. Will be looking for wedding updates to see if the nuptials will actually take place. Wonder if Debrett's has a section on attending Spanish weddings of Spanish royalty that were wealthy give away their fortune for love...

UPDATE: October 5: the nuptials have indeed taken place. The Duchess wore a salmon, shin-length dress by Spanish designers Victorio y Lucchino. The bride expressed her happiness in an impromptu dance to the delight of onlookers.

Photos: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2045627/Duchess-Alba-marries-toyboy-Alfonso-Diez-lavish-wedding-ceremony.html

Royal visit angst

Seems that Will and Kate, those royal love birds, will be visiting our neck of the woods so to speak, shortly. Once again another opportunity presents itself to be among royalty although still from afar, and give them the royal wave. You know - hand in the air, sort-of semi-circular movement but not all the way around. Queen Elizabeth has got it down pat but then she's had all those years to practice.

Then there's the decision as to whether or not a hat is in order, at all. I mean, what if one were to meet the royal couple one-on-one, then a hat would be in order one assumes. Accompanying this subject is the issue of whether one should wear a casual or formal hat, but for sure definitely not a baseball cap. Another dilemma, at least for me, would be whether or not to wear gloves and if so, should they be wrist or elbow length? Just doesn't seem logical to wear long-ish gloves up to the elbow with - say - pants, jeans or capris. In any case, these decisions call for yet another visit to Debretts for further consultation on royal manners for "what-ifs."

According to Debretts in their Royalty section, there is no accepted code of behaviour for encounters with royalty, "but adhering to the traditional forms of address will prevent anxiety."

Presumably, this includes no gum chewing if one is within viewing sight of the royal couple, and neither would cracking gum be acceptable. Another subject worthy of further thought is the wearing of panty hose. Would Kate notice if one's legs were bare and is it even appropriate to bear one's legs in front of royalty at all? So many questions with so few answers to these dilemmas!

To get back to Debretts, when being introduced to a member of the Royal Family men should bow and women curtsey. This subject was broached in an earlier blog entitled, "Meeting the Queen: what should one do?" if anyone reading this wants to know how to conduct oneself. A handshake is also acceptable. A bow should be made by bending from the neck or shoulders (not the waist) while briefly lowering your eyes. Lowering my eyes? What would happen - say - if one inadvertantly forgot to do this? How much of an faux pas would staring directly ahead be?

I can see the headlines now: "Royal goof - Ms blah-blah was seen not to lower her (or his) eyes while being introduced to Will and Kate." Could this be interpreted as being too brazen? So many things to remember.

Debretts also advises that should one happen upon a 'royal' during their time off, allow them the freedom to go about their business as an ordinary person. 'Assume that to royalty, being left alone is far from a slur; it is a luxury.'

Should one meet up with the royal couple while they take five at Second Cup or Starbucks, for example, one should not ask Kate or William to pass the sugar as a means of striking up a conversation. Neither should one keep any empty sugar packages that they may use, their coffee(or tea) cups for souvenirs.

Perhaps all this worry is in vain anyway, since they will be spending a mere few hours in our area. Thinking it all over, perhaps I'll just stick to practicing my royal wave and hope that they wave back. I mean, it's the least they could do.

Meeting the Queen - how does one conduct oneself?

Fresh from consulting Debretts on how to act if ever invited to a royal event or wedding, which as it happens I didn't have to worry about, anyway, since my invitation appears to have been lost in the mail, seems that we regular people have to be aware of social faux-pas or no-no's when meeting the Queen of England. Realistically speaking, few of us will have the opportunity to even be in the company of royalty, other than taking photos outside Buckingham Palace along with other visitors, but it's still good to know these things.

No less than President Obama, leader of the U.S. of A, breached royal protocol recently, when he inadvertantly made a toast to the Queen and then continued with a short speech. According to royal protocol, he should have stopped. The band, taking a cue from the Queen, started playing the national anthem, while Pres. Obama continued talking. Somehow, envisioning the scene, reminds me of a Monty Python sketch, but I digress. As I recall, the Obamas didn't receive an invitation to the recent royal nuptials, either.

So right now like me, you're probably wondering just what in the heck is royal protocol, anyway? Does it cover things like how to bow or curtsy (this has always been a stumper for me - I like to be prepared for these things), and etiquette that would cover issues like is it proper to spit or dip one's dinner napkin in one's water glass to wipe away sticky food from one's face. Stuff like that.

This mysterious - at least to me - issue of royal protocol goes back to a time when monarchs were accorded an almost divine status.

According to Dr. Kate Williams, historian at London's Holloway University, "From medieval times, monarchs were divinely appointed to rule by God, so they were kind of seen as gods, so they demanded to be treated as gods," says Dr Kate Williams, a historian at London's Royal Holloway university. "They are treated as people set apart from the rest of us, so primarily what it is creating is distance and grandeur."

This means one does not make any moves until a royal person moves first. For example, you wouldn't greet the Queen and her ilk like a long, lost relative by kissing her on both cheeks. Or speaking first by telling her that you love (or hate as the case may be) her hats. No hugs are allowed, either. Or using a cell phone to pick up messages and definitely no tweeting would be allowed. Bowing, according to Dr. Williams, is allowed and in fact, encouraged.

Presumably, there have to be rules in regard to bowing and/or curtsying. According to Debretts, my new "bible" for any royal "how-to" issues, have got this issue covered under the "Recommended Etiquette Upon being introduced to The Queen, and on leaving, a bow or curtsy is made" section. Take notes people!

- The bow is an inclination of the head, not from the waist.
- The curtsy should be a discreet but dignified bob.
- In conversation, address The Queen as 'Your Majesty', and subsequently 'Ma'am' (to rhyme with Pam).
- When conversing with The Queen, substitute 'Your Majesty' for 'you'.
- When introducing another person to The Queen, simply state the name of the person to be introduced:'May I present Mr John Smith, Your Majesty?'

However, not mentioned is how one measures a "dignified bob." Should the chin touch the chest area? Are winks allowable?

Royal protocol can be viewed as an expression of respect for the Queen.

This leads one (me) to wonder what the royal etiquette would be, say, if the Queen would visit the U.S. and attend say, a hockey game for example. Just thinking... Perhaps Debretts has this issue covered as well. Also found a section on Debretts covering seating arrangements, for future commentary. Meanwhile, I'll go practice my curtsies - just in case. You never know.