Psssssst - snake round-up and other stories on the cyber highway of life

As is my habit and delight, came across some interesting and quirky-ish, “huh...what?” pieces in which I felt would or could be of interest to people dropping by this blog. I mean, these type of pieces are what makes life interesting. Right?

 “Do get on with the content Eleanor, and dispense with the commentary!”

Snowbirds, the human variety, who seek out warmer climates to avoid winter’s chill, frequently choose Florida as a popular destination. Recently, the state has been dealing with an over-abundance of interlopers that have made the Everglades their home.

Although I'm not particularly fond of snakes particularly those that tend to hug excessively, my philosophy in as far as this creature is concerned is live-and-let-live. I mean, garter snakes are sort-of cute and they don’t really hurt anyone. Sort-of long-ish worms...

 “You’re boring people, Eleanor! Get to the point!”

 On occasion, when humans interfere with the natural course of nature and introduce species that aren't natural to a particular habitat, problems arise. In this case - big problems. Take the plethora of pythons (say that fast after a few drinks), which are slowly overtaking the Florida Everglades for example, whose presence is due to humans introducing it to a habitat that is a  perfect environment for python reproduction.

As a means in which to deal with their ever-increasing numbers, Florida wildlife officials are holding a competition to see who can catch the most pythons for cash. Personally, there is no amount of money that anyone could tempt me with, to go within 100 feet of a python, never mind catch one! But I digress.

So, anyway and as an interesting means in which to cut back on their numbers, a "2013 Python Challenge" will be held starting on January 12, 2013 and run for a month, for anyone interested in participating. The slithery action will focus on a marshy area known as the River of Grass and the competition is open to both professional and non professional snake hunters. Just thinking here...what type of clothes would one wear to catch snakes? Presumably, boots that would reach the hip level, long, thick rubber gloves for anti-biting purposes but what about a cover for one's head? Do sporting goods stores sell these type of outfits? More importantly, do they come in a variety of shades? But I digress. Does anybody reading this, know?
 

Just to give you some type of idea of the rationale behind holding this type of challenge and according to Wikipedia, “the Burmese Python (Python molurus bivittatus) is the largest subspecies of the Indian Python and one of the six largest snakes in the world, native to a large variation of topic and sub-tropic areas of Southern and Southeast Asia. They are often found near water and are sometimes semi-aquatic but can also be found in trees.” They can reach sizes up to 19 feet. We’re talking big – and long – and slithery - and dangerous here.

Pythons are definitely not the type of creature as pet material although some people raise  smaller and non-dangerous snakes. Snakes, though, can’t be trained to do tricks or be taken for a walk on a leash. They’re just...there.

To return to the snake roundup... The purpose of the event is to reduce the number of non-native reptiles who have taken to the local wildlife in a big way. Winners will receive up to $1500 for the longest snake in addition to $1000 for the snake slayer bringing in the most snakes. Dead one presumes. As a matter of fact, a Burmese python found in August last year set a record as the largest python ever captured measuring 17 feet, 7 inches and carrying - wait for it - 87 eggs! We're talking here about 87 potential Burmese pythons! A federal ban exists that encompasses the Burmese python, the yellow anaconda and the northern and southern African pythons. Good luck to the brave snake hunters who decide to respond to this challenge. Not moi. I’ll stick to seeing them under glass in a zoo.

 

COFFIN THERAPY?

Not sure how many people would take advantage of this offer. Count me in as not one of them.

A coffin maker from Truskavets, Ukraine, wants to give people the opportunity to see what it’s like to lay in a coffin – while they’re alive. The logic behind it is to prepare people for the afterlife. Thinking further about this opportunity and speaking for myself, I’m in no rush to find out to be candid.

The creator calls his new service, “coffin therapy.” Coffin loungers/lay-people can relax if one can actually relax in a coffin, for approximately 15 minutes. Lid on is optional. Not sure exactly what is meant by this. In any case, as part of the experience, he has set up a room with several empty coffin from which to choose. Clients can recline while listening to the sound of a bird song or waterfall playing in the background. Pass on this offer, thank you very much. A bit too creepy for me.

 

FESTIVUS FLOURISHES AT A FLORIDA INTERSECTION

Last but not least... The holiday of Christmas is a holiday in which celebrants embellish their homes with holiday decorations in addition to the religious rites. Some people celebrate the holiday in a different manner. On a government-owned piece of property in Deerfield Beach, Florida, Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus are a part of a nativity scene set up at an intersection, for more than twenty years. This year, though, they are being joined by a Festivus Pole which is not to the liking of some people. TV viewers will recall the pretend holiday of Festivus held on December 23, featured in a “Seinfeld” episode.

Activist/blogger, Chaz Stevens, had been trying unsuccessfully to get permission to install it for five years to install it. The Festivus Pole, composed of 23 beer cans stacked 8 feet high, is
located six feet from baby Jesus. In order to make the pole, Stevens and a friend drained (no mentioning of drinking) 23 cans of beer, sawed off the ends of the cans and threaded on to the pole. To each her/own and different strokes for different folk.

Here is the Festivus Pole: http://www.browardpalmbeach.com/2012-12-13/news/a-festivus-pole-arises-next-to-jesus-manger-in-deerfield-beach/

 How was your week?

Some random thoughts

Some of my best thoughts occur while taking a walk. Perhaps it's all the visual stimulation while strolling through the neighborhood. It's time to share. Check back often since most likely more thoughts just may trickle in and feel free to share your thoughts about...anything.

CONFESSION: I LOVE FOOD SAMPLES!

Keep this to yourself but there's nothing more personally inviting than a trip to one of those big food distributors i.e. Costco et al that serve up food samples. The best time to get the primo samples is on Thursday to Saturday and maybe Sunday. Now that the holiday period is almost upon us, the various food companies really make their push with wine samples, delectable and yummy deserts, cooked meal samplings - it just never stops! In fact, one could (and does) go up and down the food aisles and make a whole meal of the samplings. Sometimes, there's a line-up of shoppers waiting for an opportunity to get freebies but line up they do. It's sort-of a game in that shopper/diners - okay...me - feign interest in the product to assuage feelings of guilt.

ME: "Oh this fattening but very delicious cake is on sale this week?" as I pick up the product with one hand, while holding the cake sample in the other, shovelling it into my mouth. "Let me think about it. Perhaps I'll be back."
or..
ME: "My this is a delicious wine. Perfect for the holidays! And white, my favorite! Could I perhaps taste the red? And how about the rose? I have some other things to buy but I just may be back."

Instead, one (me) moves on to the next culinary delight waiting to be tried.

In a way, it's only right given the amount of money people put down at these super buy-in-bulk food warehouse type establishments.

OF BRA CUPS. MISSING CATS AND OTHER PAST BLOGS

Continually amazed at what attracts people to certain blogs. Over the years I've written and shared many topics with blog readers/aficionados but as I've shared previously, some continually surface.

One of the most popular pieces is the tale of Wookie the cat that went missing in Bedford, England. The piece was written almost two years ago and relates the story of Wookie's owner, Mike, who ran afoul of the law by posting missing cat notices on local Bedford trees, utility poles and anywhere presumably, that would hold a poster.
http://myviewscount.blogspot.ca/2011/01/posting-missing-cat-notice-no-no-in.html
THE CHRISTMAS RETURN GIFT RUSH
Another older story that has re-surfaced is a piece focusing on an idea as to how to deal with the usual post holiday return gift rush. Although written tongue-in-cheek, readers seem to enjoy or at least consider the idea. Instead of standing in long line-ups and waiting a long period of time to return gifts, people in line can trade gifts with each other. Think of the time saved!
http://myviewscount.blogspot.ca/2006/12/lets-make-deal-or-how-to-beat-post.html
DUAL PURPOSE BRA
The most popular one by far is the piece written about a recipient of the quirky Ig Nobel Prize whose invention of a bra that can double as a gas mask. Next thing we'll hear about is a bra that can shoot bullets...the mind boggles (at least mine does).
http://myviewscount.blogspot.ca/2009/10/bra-cups-runneth-over-as-gas-mask.html


BAH HUMBUG

Maybe it's just me but it really irks me that the retail industry is promoting the holiday periods earlier and earlier. Is there any logical explanation, other than greed, for the appearance of holiday decorations on store shelves and decorated malls in August or September?

And now for some PICKS AND PANS

PERSONAL BESTS

- the first sip of tea and coffee to start the day
- the sight of Canada geese flying in 'V" formation
- the lick of a dog...the pur of a cat...
- popcorn at a movie
- finishing a painting canvas that draws me in
- finishing a great piece of writing after being blocked
- Debrett's: the site for everything pertaining to social etiquette

Add to this list with YOUR personal bests and favorites.


PERSONAL BLECHS

- bra straps that stretch and the uplift goes downward
- water sprays that go amock in produce depts.
- forgetting to re-charge the cell phone
- forgetting to add sound after muting cell phone in movie theatre
- coffee served in paper cups - blech
- tea served in paper cups - double-blech
- people who carry on cell phone conversation in bathroom stalls
- the new and "improved" Blogger that freezes at every fifth word. New and improved in this case is definitely not better. In fact - it's unacceptable. Give bloggers the option of the old but reliable classic blogger. Blech and more blech.

November 16: Some new additions to the list:

PERSONAL BLECHS

- drivers of cars who follow people returning to their cars uncomfortably close, in order to get the parking spot
- drivers who drive round and round mall parking lots in order to get a spot close to the door. At the price of gasoline - so silly
- drivers who park in spots designated specifically for handicapped persons and pregnant women. For shame, people!
- singers on TV talent competitions - female for the most part - that believe screaming lyrics to songs make them a diva
- people who keep a running commentary while watching a film in a theatre. Really - we're not interested in your opinion!
- stale popcorn served in a movie theatre
- luke warm french fries at fast food restaurants. I return them.
- related to above, hamburger buns that fall apart due to soggy sauce

Santa was a smoker?

Upon first reading that Santa had given up smoking and to be honest, it never occurred to me that the jolly, old elf smoked. Recalling the poem ,"The Night Before Christmas", and checking out the exact wording, a line reads: "The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath." It confirmed as we all know that the man-in-red was a pipe smoker.

The issue of Santa Claus smoking has come up with an edited version of the poem, which has eliminated the referral to a pipe-smoking Santa. A Canadian independent publisher and a smoking cessation advocate, Pamela McColl, has taken it upon herself to edit the poem and eliminate the smoking line in the hope of discouraging young people to smoke. While her goal is admirable, one wonders  - me - if this is such a good idea. As mentioned, the line slipped right by me or perhaps I never really gave it much thought. Given the overall vision of the poem as a whole, Santa smoking a pipe didn't strike me as important.

Thinking further, there is no mention in the poem as to how often Santa smoked his pipe. One - me - wonders if he was a regular pipe smoker or an occasional pipe smoker, or a once-in-a-while pipe-smoker, using it once per year when he delivered toys to girls and boys. How do we know whether it was tobacco that Santa smoked or perhaps a non-addictive herb? I mean, there is greenery in the North Pole and Santa being Santa wise and all, he could have known that tobacco was not healthy. Am I right?

Moreover, Frosty the Snowman just could suffer a similar fate. Let's not forget that the popular snowman has/had a corn cob pipe. Could the song incur a similar fate:

"Frosty the Snowman, Was a jolly, happy soul, With a corncob pipe and button nose..."

True there's no mention of whether he at any time actually smoked the pipe but a pipe is a pipe is...and where there's a pipe there could be tobacco and smoke.

As a writer, somehow the tampering with a beloved poem bothers me, even though the intent is honorable. There are some things that should be viewed in the context it was written as Clement Clarke Moore's view of his perfect Christmas.


http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/09/18/after-200-years-santa-kicks-a-bad-habit-publisher-activist-update-twas-the-night-before-christmas-take-away-st-nicks-pipe/

How do be a good Christmas guest - Debretts knows

So let's say...an invitation is extended from a friend, family member or aquaintance to their annual or semi-annual or once-in-a-while Christmas get-together. In responding affirmatively to the invitation, there are certain responsibilities that are attached to attending a festive gathering. The source for all things social is Debretts, who offer a guide on anything and everything for all occasions. One can adapt the advice as one sees fit.

First on the list, Debretts suggests that guests arrive with, in their words, "goodies." This means to me that one should ascertain the ages and tastes of the host family before showing up with what could be embarrassing gift selections, like a set of cosmetics for a young female instead of a male. Then again... But I digress. Or, a tie to suit a family member recalled as Bruce, who ends up being the family pooch.

Speaking or writing about the family pooch, there is no mention regarding decorum where pets are concerned. Nothing noted regarding the passing of food tidbits under the table to whining or barking dog(s), neither is there any guidance as to how to proceed for dogs that beg while performing cute tricks. On the other hand, this would not be applicable to the family cat who prefer to make a statement walking accross the table... But I digress.

Another suggestion from Debretts is to check out what food item to bring along. Bean cassserol (here's Martha Stewart"s recipe for interested persons: http://www.marthastewart.com/340211/green-bean-casserole) is not everyone's cup of tea, so to speak, or aspic (for more about aspic, check this out: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-aspic.htm Somehow gelatin embedded with meat pieces doesn't do it for me, at least. Gelatin by itself, however, i.e. Jello et al, is a favorite personal dessert but definitely does not travel well in a warm car. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjBHgPeg8T4

As a guest, Debretts advises, don't take over the role of host. This would or could include monopolizing the conversation focusing on, for example, past get-togethers and/or family fiasco celebrations. Memory joggers like "remember when blah-blah danced with the floor lamp and eneded up being treated for electric shock" -type reminders is not mannerly table talk. In the way of help, here are some conversation starters focusing on a wide range of subjects - take your pick and be witty: http://aesthetichealingmindset.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/social-savvy-for-the-holidays-%E2%80%93-conversation-starters-for-more-interesting-table-talk/

Debretts also suggests that thoughtful guests offer their assistance in the kitchen. This could include salad- making or dish drying or aspic de-geling (is aspic still on the holiday menu, one wonders or was it ever?), which is tricky (http://whatscookingamerica.net/gelatintip.htm) and the wrong move can result in a plate of colored liquid. But again, I digress.

In as far as missing a favorite TV program, Debretts suggests that recorders be set up to ensure that favorite programs aren't missed. Don't make demands of the hosts to watch a favorite show. Perhaps other guests may also have their own favorite TV program like the weekly football telecast while other may be fans of X-Factor or Glee, which could cause program conflicts. Perhaps a good conversation starter is to go around the table and vote as to which programs to watch. Just a suggestion.

Another suggestion is not to comment (or presumably criticize) a host's way of entertaing, Debretts advises.
No statements or subjects that touch on bedtime activities like "When I was young, we had our Christmas cake at 5 o'clock and were in bed by 8…" Comments like these will always be seen as implied criticisms, and should be avoided at all costs."

Get into the spirit of the get together and as Debretts advises, "don't be a party pooper." If everyone participates in a Christmas sing-a-long featuring Barry Manilow singing holiday favorites (for example), sitting with folded arms and mumbling bad words to one-self  is not being a good guest.

Once the wine bottles or fruit juice have gone and the aspic has disolved into a color-less liquid with pieces of disgusting grey meat floating on the surface, it's polite to thank the hosts for extending an invitation to their holiday party. Debretts suggests that  you "thank the host effusively for his/her hospitality."

"Thanks for the invite even though I missed the big game," is not nice. Neither is "did we mention we changed our address, phone number and e-mail?"

After all and in the end, it's all part of the Christmas celebration.

Wookie the cat tale still has legs

It's been almost a year now that Wookie the cat has been missing. Going out on a limb here since nobody has written any updates, one presumes that there have been no sightings.

In the way of background info., Wookie's disappearance caused a local uproar in Bedford, England, when his owner Mike Harding was threatened with a legal fine for posting posters of his puss, in the hope that somebody - anybody - had spotted his beloved feline.

So here we are another Christmas almost upon us and still no news updates concerning the cat's fate. What is interesting, though, is that this blog story still has legs so to speak. In the year that the tale was told here, for whatever reason, there is still interest judging by the hits. We're not talking hundreds of hits but even so, the story always climbs up to the top of the pile. Also included in these numbers are spammers most likely but it's still personally noteworthy that people around the globe drop by to read the story.

Pure speculation, perhaps it's a seasonal thing in that people - okay me - wonder whether Wookie is "out there" somewhere, having to depend on an occasional mice meal or on the kindness of others, as people plan their festive menu. Perhaps he is forced to find shelter living under garden shacks. Then again and putting in a positive light, maybe some kind stranger took him in and he lives out his life as a pampered cat. Thing is - nobody knows.

Perhaps if Mike Harding is reading this, he would or could provide an update, if any. Meanwhile, perhaps sympathetic cat lovers (or even likers) feel moved enough to donate to their local animal shelter in Wookie's name. Or just donate, anyway. They can always use the money.

Meanwhile, verifiable updates on Wookie are welcome and Wookie if you're reading this: come home for Christmas!

Bah - humbug! French department store drops Christmas carols for rock'n'roll

It's November and many - make that lots - of stores are heavy into Christmas decorations in spite of just coming out of Halloween. Actually, statistically, Halloween is big business when it comes to decorations and related items. But I digress.

Some people enjoy the holiday season and welcome the numerous appearances of mall Santas, plastic Christmas trees ("oh Eleanor - you're so cynical!") of many colors and the playing of the Little Drummer Boy over and over... But I digress. Again.

Then there are others who want to update Christmas and modernize the selection of musical offerings. Such is the case of Galerie Lafayette, a department store located in Paris, France, who recently made the decision to eliminate your Christmas carols with - wait for it - rock and roll. As they have done in seasons past, the store is once again putting on shows leading up to the big day but is seeking a means in which to attract and presumably entice a younger generation to their offerings and merchandise.

To this end, they are using rock legend Iggy Pop to pose for photo fliers dressed in a red Santa hat (does Santa know, one wonders), matching shoes and a custumary, electric guitar. In addition, a window show will include performances by a variety of major-label rock and folk bands. A change from the past is the replacement of cute, furry creatures and puppets in favor of life-size mannequins dressed in black leather, and rag dolls dressed in fashionable duds. This leads one to ask what they will do with your usual Christmas icons like snowmen, most likely relegated to a box in a warehouse, somewhere, never to see the light of day along with older puppets... But I digress. Again.

The bottom line, as expected, is the reason for the change with French household spending dropping 1.3% in September with spending on clothing falling by 7.3%. It will be interesting to see the reaction of French shoppers to the change. As a rule, people like to retain Christmas traditions and somehow Iggy Pop, with all due respect, isn't Bing Crosby singing "White Christmas" or "Petit Papa Noel" or "Mon Beau Sapin." Perhaps a combination of both the old and new?

Anyway, here's Iggy and his promo for the dept. store: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYHdX347BR4

Hmmmm - wonder how much he got paid...

Winter weirdness syndrome - of snowmen and Christmas lights

It's snow joke (excuse the pun) that Europe is struggling with an unusually brutal early winter with copious amounts of snow resulting in closed schools, traffic snarls and people generally experiencing difficulties dealing with an unusual situation. Perhaps it's the white-ness of the snow or something that can cause a temporary brain freeze.

As if the police don't have enough problems dealing with emergency phone calls, a woman living in Kent, England, called the local police to report - wait for it - a missing snowman. According to the caller who appears to be the snowman creator, she hadn't checked on the snowman for five hours. Just thinking...why is it always a snowMAN and not a snowWOMAN? Perhaps the term snow-person is an option but I digress. In her absence, the snowman disappeared she claimed. This leads one to question whether this was a crank phone call but the police certainly were not amused. I mean when you think about it - really - who would steal and snowman and why? There's enough snow to go around for everyone to make their own snowperson.

"This call could have cost someone's life if there was a genuine emergency and they couldn't get through. It was completely irresponsible,' said Chief Inspector Simon Black.

Had to be some type of brain freeze that caused temporary shut down of her brain.

Then there are the people who use the holiday of Christmas to explore their inner decorator. Take Mike Babick for example - neighbors would add - somebody please - who each year goes all out and then some, decorating the exterior of his home with lots of lights and holiday figures that draws people from near and far to gawk. His home located in Kansas City displays in excess of a thousand figures housed in display cases on his roof top, no less. The display, which takes a month to set up, draws 250,000 visitors and he knows since he installed a vehicle-counter on his street.

So imagine 250,000 visitors arriving on a regular basis to stare at the display, including limos and busses(!).

In response to complaints from thirty residents, police made Babick's block temporarily a one-way street, posting no-parking signs, but the multitudes still come, some of whom park in private driveways.

Here's a sample of Mike's artistry for the world to see, captured on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyKlEYuTklE

Did someone say there's an energy shortage? Clark Griswold would be proud.

Do They Know It's Christmas hits a sour note with Bob Geldof

I dunno. If I was a talented song writer and performer like Bob Geldof, I'd be thrilled that my songs were being heard - and played - and appreciated by music lovers all over the planet. However, this isn't the case.

In fact Geldof regrets in a big way having even written "Do They Know It's Christmas" and "We Are the World" since they are sung, played and heard, everywhere, even the supermarkets and therein lies the problem.

"I am responsible for two of the worst songs in history. One is 'Do They Know It's Christmas? The other one is 'We Are The World,' he told Australia's Daily Telegraph. "Any day soon, I will go to the supermarket, head to the meat counter and it will be playing. Every [expletive] Christmas."

Yes Bob - I admit I heard it recently while shopping in a mall and mentally sang along. What can I say? I'm crass.

Geldof wrote the songs with Midge Ure for the now famous Band Aid in 1984 but he gets up tight when carolers perform the hit in front of his house during Christmas.

Hey Bob - that is the ultimate honor! Not to be over-looked is the attention the songs brought to starving people in a part of the world that most likely wouldn't have received help.

"They think 'Do They Know It's Christmas?' is as old as 'Silent Night,'" Geldof went on to say. "Sometimes I think that's wild because I wrote it. Or else I am thinking how much I want them to stop because they are doing it really badly."

Oh please, Mr. Geldof! Me thinks the writer/singer doth protest too much. Given the popularity of both songs, it's unlikely that both will be removed from the play list during holiday time. Get over it and savor the success is my reaction!

Talking turkey - do not baste with kitty litter

The holiday of Thanksgiving for those people who celebrate has passed but on its heels so to speak, is Christmas. Both holidays focus on family gatherings and sitting down (or standing as the case may be) for a festive meal with turkey as the main course. Turkey being poultry requires that certain precautions be taken when cooking the bird with some people unsure of how to go about it. This is when the Butterball turkey group who are in the business of selling turkeys and other things fowl, step in to help people out. On a personal observation, there are a lot of human turkeys I've come across in my life but I digress.

The company has set up a consumers Turkey Talk Line in which people can consult for any and all turkey-related issues. Questions can arise like how long should one roast a 25 lb. bird, or how large a turkey to buy for a party of 15 people. Normal, every day questions. Then there are issues that don't fall into the mundane, run-of-the-mill category.

For example after checking his father's freezer, a man from Alabama consulted with the Talk Line to find out about the best way to cook a 30 and then years old-ish bird. It was suggested that perhaps a good way to begin would be to buy a new turkey.

- A woman in her 70's who was cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time, called for assistance after her mother(!) told her that she was tired of preparing the big meal and it was time that her daughter learned how. O-kay...whatever...

- Then there's the woman who couldn't figure out why her turkey had no breast meat and was told that her turkey was merely upside down. Or a first-timer who was sobbing her heart out after thawing her turkey and rinsing it in dish soap no less and couldn't get rid of the suds from the bird. At least there would be clean cuts.

- There's oil - and then there's oil a man who called to say that he had cut his turkey in half using a chainsaw and wondered if the oil from the chain would affect the turkey.

Any and all turkey-related questions covering all categories are answered by a team of presumably turkey experts at the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line, a free 24-hour, call-in hot line. It's open to residents living in the U.S. and Canada throughout November and December by calling 1-800-BUTTERBALL. There is a plethora of information for everyone focusing on everything turkey - and then some:

http://www.butterball.com/contact-us#faqs

By the way, I recall a while back somebody forgetting to remove the bag of giblets from inside the turkey cavity and roasting them. Gave it that je ne sais quoi flavor. Thinking further, it just could have been me.

My favorite turkey-related question was posed by a woman who wanted to know if it was all right to cook her turkey on a bed of cat litter. Only if she asks the cat permission.

And now a Christmas gift for that person who has everything

For people searching for that special holiday gift that says you think about her/him need look no further. Diamonds are a natural resource that is always a nice - and expensive - gift. There are other less costly and natural down-to-earth jewelry pieces that are now available for purchase from a zoo no less.

Seems that a group of creative "gemologists" at the Miller Park Zoo in Bloomington, Illinois, have come up with a unique gift currently on sale at a fraction of the price of diamonds, in the form of dried reindeer droppings. You read it right: reindeer droppings.

The jewelry joins the very popular reindeer dropping Christmas ornaments that were a huge hit with the public last year. These limited-edition Magical Reindeer Gem necklaces are currently available for $15 each at the gift shop, 1020 S. Morris Ave., or for $20 by mail.

Last year, volunteers dehydrated and sterilized piles of the dime-sized dung, then spray-painted them with glitter and strung them on wire with beads to create “Magical Reindeer Gems."

Hmmmm... No mention of odor...

According to the news release, 2,000 ornaments and 100 necklaces are available so act soon. More information regarding the zoo and the origin of the poop necklaces or reindeer gem ornaments as they call them:
http://www.cityblm.org/parks/Miller-Park-Zoo/whats-new.htm

The zoo’s $1.3 million budget was cut by about $200,000 this year as part of the city’s efforts to balance its $77 million general operating budget

Santa Claus group demanding priority for flu shots

Gimme a break in the true sense of the word!

What is happening to Santa and his Christmas spirit? Seems that a group of Santas is demanding because they seem to believe it's due to them, priority in as far as receiving flu shots.

The group - the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas even held a seminar on the virus at a recent conference in Philadelphia.

What next? How to appear non-threatening to children and wear a face mask 101?

AORBS - that's them - is now lobbying for its members to be put on the much sought after swine flu vaccination priority list.

Group President, one Nicholas Trolli, said the campaign was "not so much to protect the Santa, but to help protect the public".

"I have heard across the country numerous Santas who have actually had the swine flu, but I have not heard reports back of any of our Santas being able to get the swine flu shot as of yet," he said.

The group also urged its members to use a hand sanitizer and take vitamins to boost their immune systems - and urged parents will keep sick kids away.

"If you contact AORBS, we will do our best to get a Santa to come to your home so you won't be exposing other children," Mr Trolli said.

The rival Santa America group is also calling for Santa Claus be made a priority group for the swine flu vaccine - much like health care workers.

Next thing you know, a group representing reindeer will demand that they be put on the priority list because they're close to Santa. No mention as to whether the Mrs. Claus's are demanding equal representation...elves... It just never ends.

Ho-no! Santa and elves are not amused!

A long time Christmas favorite could be on its way out - key word 'could' - if the U.S. Postal Service holds fast to its initial decision to prevent Santa from answering his mail. Not just any mail but personal letters mailed to him at his home in North Pole, Alaska, specificing desired gifts or favors that only Santa can bestow.

The heart of the matter goes back a year when a postal worker in Maryland recognized an Operation Santa volunteer as a registered sex offender and intervened to ensure that no childern ever received any mail. Henceforth, the Postal Service made the decision to tighten the rules, which included the letter to and from Santa program.

Expectedly, people living in the town of North Pole (most likely including some of Santa's helpers)are incensed with the unpopular changes, since the letter program is

People in North Pole are incensed with the change being that it's a revered holiday tradition where light posts are curved and striped like candy canes and streets have names such as Kris Kringle Drive and Santa Claus Lane. Volunteers in the letter program even sign the response letters as Santa’s elves and helpers.

Aw.... That's like...so merry and Christmas-like!

Anyway, the Mayor of North Pole, one Doug Isaacson understands the cautionary move but is incensed that his program should be eliminiated due to a sex offender's action on the East Coast.

Losing the Santa-letter title is a blow to the community of 2,100 people, who pride themselves on their Christmas ties. Huge tourist attractions here include an everything-Christmas store, Santa Claus House, and the post office, where visitors can get a hand-stamped postmark on their postcards and packages if they ask for it.

Santa Claus House, built like a Swiss chalet and chock full of all items Christmas, sells more than 100,000 letters from Santa and one of the lures is the postmark.

Being that this is the season for good turnarounds, there's word that volunteers living in the town have met with U.S. Postal Service officials in an attempt to work out a means in which kiddie's letters to Santa can still be sent to the town.

Children can only hope. And so can the parents.

Here's the home page for North Pole, Alaska:
http://northpolealaska.com/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1

NEWS UPDATE: SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 21. GOOD NEWS!

Most likely due to strong public outcry, the powers-that-be have decided to re-instate Santa and his letters.

"This decision today by the Postal Service brings the Christmas spirit back to Alaska," Republican Sen. Lisa Murkowski said.

Indeed.

Wanted: witch - some experience would be helpful

Looking for a job that definitely could be classified as "different?"A tourist attraction, Wookey Hole, located near Wells, Somerset, England is advertising in the local Job Centre for a witch. Duties include teaching visitors about witchcraft and magic and the successful applicant should be a good cackler and not be allergic to cats. Sounds reasonable.

The person - it's open to both females and males - who replaces the current witch who retired, will receive a salary of £50,000 pro rata based on work during school holidays and weekends. The job duties will be focused on summer holidays including Halloween and Christmas.

Legend has it that the caves were home to the Wookey Witch who was turned to stone by Father Bernard who had been appointed by the Abbott of Glastonbury to rid villagers of her curse.

Right now you're probably asking yourselves how does one go about applying for this job?

Auditions for the role are being held on July 28 in front of a panel of judges who will assess applicants costume and character as well as the ability to perform witch tests.

Witch tests? As in curses and other witch stuff?

According to the people posting the vacancy:

- Interviews for the post will involve on-site assessment incorporating a range or standard tasks.
- Ambitious witches, looking for a key career move, should turn up dressed for work and bring any essential witch accoutrements.
- A limited range of potion ingredients will be available.
- We are witchless at the moment so we need to get the role filled as soon as possible.
- We are looking for someone who is friendly, a little mischievous and with lots of character.

No information regarding whether or not wands and/or brooms will be provided.

A photo of the current witch who is going into retirement can be found here:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5769160/Witch-required-for-Wookey-Hole-Caves---must-be-able-to-cackle.html

Talking turkey and it ain't a pretty picture

This could have been his last Christmas but due to the fickle finger of fate and what people perceived to be physicial imperfections, a turkey has escaped being the center piece on a holiday table.

The turkey, Wilbur, is missing tail feathers, has a misshapen body and if that's not bad enough, he walks with a limp. To make matters worse he lives on a "pick-your-own-turkey" farm in Totnes, Devon, England and is the only turkey left.

Leading a life of turkey can be so sad - and short.

The farm owner, Peter Hayford, explained that it was his - Wilbur's - first Christmas and under normal circumstances most likely it would have been his last, however, a lucky quirk of fate (that's what I call it) made him - Wilbur - unappealing to potential customers.

It was something about Wilbur's sad and bedraggled personna that made people turn away.

Some - most -a lot of people -would say that human rejection saved his life. Actually...thinking further, does it really make a difference in the scheme of things whether a turkey has a limp, or has feathers missing when it comes to flavor? But I digress...

The farm owner, Peter Hayford, said that "Wilbur will become one of the family. He might be an ugly old thing but we think he's lovely."

Sure it's easy for Hayford to say that now given his rejection by turkey selectors! Meanwhile, Wilbur has become somewhat of a celebrity and will live out his life, roast-free.


See a photo of Wilbur here: http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3132598.html?menu=

Christmas is alive and well...but not in Lapland, England

Once again a story focusing on a negative Christmas-related incident that took place in Lapland New Forest theme park on the Dorset Hampshire border, England. Twenty-five staff members were told by their hiring agency to quit Lapland New Forest, while a gate worker fled after being assaulted.

Why were they assaulted, you're probably asking yourself.

Perhaps the assault-ees were somewhat justified given that the entrance was £30 or approximately $44, which offered participants and revelers... Actually not too much again according to those that were there.

One father was so mad - how mad was he? He was so angry having to line up for 4 hours that he - well - physically demonstrated his anger towards Santa. Oh my... As if that wasn't bad enough, three security guards were also attacked and a snowman was so upset with the verbal abuse he received that he just took off.

That's not all.

According to staff members two fathers went at each other in the Gingerbread House over - wait for it - the last 2 spoonfuls of icing sugar! Not sweet, guys! The worst, at least for some children, was catching Santa with his beard off smoking a cigarette. Still more, Santa refused to let children sit on his knee unless they coughed up some extra money.

Not nice!

A total of 1,475 people have joined groups slamming the attraction on social networking website Facebook.

Meanwhile, the RSPCA launched an investigation after dozens of complaints about the treatment of husky dogs, reindeers and donkeys on the site.

Santa - the real one - would not be pleased!

See the photo of Lapland entrance here: http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3107561.html

Bah humbug - Brownies banned from singing Christmas carols for pensioners

Some people just don't seem to get the concept of having the Christmas spirit. You reach out and do something nice for people and in turn it makes a person feel good. That's the way it's supposed to work.

The administrators who run the Marlowes Centre in Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire in (not so) jolly, old England could use a dose of holiday esprit. For nearly 20 years, Brownies and Girl Guides put on a carol concert for pensioners and the disabled at a shopping centre, however their joyous voices will be heard no more since the powers-that-be have deemed they were/are a safety risk. The risk in this case was the area around a 25 foot Christmas tree where the Guides used to sing. The approximately 100 girls were were/are considered a health and safety risk because they could obstruct fire escape routes.

See...lots of people - happy people and shoppers - used to stop and listen to the girls causing what they believe could be a bottleneck.

Bosses at the centre say a Christmas tree positioned outside New Look and new mobile trade stalls have limited the number of performers the centre can host at one time.

Marketing manager Eileen Gannon said, "with changes made to the centre's Christmas decorations and trade units there simply isn't space for a huge number of performers."

"We're disappointed, but our priority has to be the safety of people inside the centre."

The carolling has been taking place for 20 years and now suddenly they've become a risk?

She said the new rules were open to change in the future, as decisions made on decorations in the centre are different each year.

Another centre worker said: 'There were a lot of Brownies last year and they caused absolute chaos.'

What a wonderful example of holiday spirit they have set for the young Brownies! Maybe shoppers could consider showing their holiday spirit in ways that will make their feelings felt - $$$$$.

So just where do Santa's reindeers live in off-season?

We all know where Santa lives in a comfy warm house along with Mrs. Claus, some elves and other assorted helpers, in the North Pole all year round. However, ever wonder where Santa's reindeer live? Also, just what specie of reindeer are these magical creatures, anyway?

The Alaska Fish and Game have the answers to this question in addition and other Santa related issues.

For example, in the "General Description and Differences Between Subspecies category, "among the common subspecies of reindeer, the largest bulls shed their antlers in late October and the small bulls and non-pregnant cows shed their antlers in April.

It is not known when or if Santa’s reindeer shed their antlers. We do know, from a few furtive sightings, that their antlers appear to be extremely velvety and robust in late December prior to their Christmas run. Santa’s reindeer also have the unique and remarkable ability to fly. The Claus’ have helped to further develop and condition this ability enabling them to fly great distances in a very short time period, provided they receive frequent carrot snacks."

Bet you didn't know that!

Anyway, there's a beautiful photographic image of Rudolph - the Rudoph:

http://www.adfg.state.ak.us/pubs/notebook/biggame/santasreindeer.php

Santas' told to "ha-ha-ha" instead of "ho-ho-ho" - political correctness gone awry!

If ever there was/is a "Gimme a Break" story - this is it.

Santas in Australia's largest city have been told not to use Santa's traditional "ho-ho-ho" greeting because it may be offensive to women. Only "ha-ha-ha" will do.

Say what??????????????????????????????

You read it right! That jolly old elf himself, Santa Claus has been told not to "ho-ho-ho" when doing a fly over Australia.

One disgruntled Santa told a newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use "ho-ho-ho" because it could frighten children and was too close to "ho", a US slang term for prostitute.

Plllleeeze!

"Gimme a break," said Julie Gale, who runs the campaign against sexualising children called Kids Free 2B Kids.

"We are talking about little kids who do not understand that "ho-ho-ho" has any other connotation and nor should they," she said when interviewed by a newspaper.

"Leave Santa alone."

Amen to that!

A local spokesman for the US-based Westaff recruitment firm said it was "misleading" to say the company had banned Santa's traditional greeting and it was being left up to the discretion of the individual Santa himself.

A more scary aspect of this is if the idea spreads outside Australia and Santas around the world will be allowed to ha-ha-ha only. Talk about PC gone awry!


More related articles:

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22761386-2,00.html

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22736835-662,00.html

BRITS HAVE SILLY LAWS IN THEIR BOOKS

There are laws... and there there are silly laws, which make you shake your head in wonderment. Most if not all of them fall into the humor and weird department.

It certainly could be said or written that Britain has some really "interesting" or perplexing laws in their books.

- It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (those feeling impending death should drag themselves outside or face the full force of the law)

- It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down (no mention of side-ways).

- In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store

- Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day

- In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter

- A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet

- The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen (and I'm sure the Queen has a vast collection of whale tails that she flips through, frequently)

- It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing ("my but you're wearing a beautiful suit/outfit, today!")

- It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour (unless there's a particularly hot topic under debate, perhaps)

- In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (doesn't everyone carry bow and arrows on their person these days?)

No mention of the fines imposed on disobeying the rules.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071106/od_afp/britainlawsoffbeat


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