Simon Cowell sent me a letter!

Checking my various e-mails this morning, I was surprised to find one from a well-known celebrity/TV personality. It was none other than Simon Cowell, he of "American Idol" ex-judge fame who wanted to know "do you, a friend or a family member have what it takes to become a global superstar? I'm looking for the next singing sensation, someone with that special something - 'The X Factor.'."

It's not every day that one receives a personal letter from the king-of-mean and I wondered who had passed on my e-mail to him. Obviously, it was someone who wasn't familiar with my singing voice because if they had heard my renditions of well-known songs, they would never have suggested my name, although I do a mean version of "Respect" in the shower. In any case, Simon - I feel we are friends now - goes on:

"The X Factor is my new show launching this Fall on Fox. It's a make-it-or-break-it singing competition, and this time there are no restrictions. Solo singers, vocal groups and anyone over the age of 12 have the chance to win a $5 million recording deal with Sony Music. There's NO upper age limit"

The words "no restrictions" might give me an incentive to throw my hat into the ring, so to speak. I mean, these days there is technical help that could at the very least make my voice passable. Perhaps as a unique angle and being an artist, I could create a canvas for a song. Actually, I do that anyway but I digress.

What might make the difference as to whether I should enter is the opportunity of winning big bucks. As Simon himself pitches: "now is your chance, who knows, you or your group could walk away with a $5 million recording contract and a lifetime of stardom."

"The search starts in Los Angeles on March 27th, and then continues on to Miami, Newark, Seattle, and Chicago, ending in Dallas."

The $5 million dollars grabbed my attention but my hopes were dashed with these seven little words: "You have to be a U.S. citizen."

I'm a Canadian so that leaves me out. They'll never know what they've been missing, lucky for them.