Anti-chalk adults - what were they thinking?

Another rant, this time focusing on adults who are unaware of the concept of being a kid and having fun.

In Whitehorse, Australia, a town council with obviously nothing better to do, decided to pass legislation prohibiting children to use chalk on the sidewalk, declaring it a violation of municipal graffiti laws. I mean - really - children all over planet earth or at least where there are sidewalks, have been creating hop-scotch patterns and other artistic endeavors, like, forever.

As if this isn't bad enough, they also declared the children who use chalk as safety hazards. Say what? A safety hazard? How does chalk writing on sidewalks in any way impede the safety of people?

For its part, the council declared sidewalk chalk a violation of the state graffiti laws. An option, according to local officials, would be to issue a permit that would allow the students to play with sidewalk chalk, however, seems that this is not a viable solution. According to a cafe owner, the Mayor of the town said that they would like to issue us a permit but can't because it raises health and safety issues, in case somebody fell over a child on the footpath or into the street.

So this leads one - me - to wonder whether other types of writing tools would be acceptable, other than chalk. Like paint, perhaps? Would they prefer children to paint up the sidewalks? How about loose stones being used to etch images into pavement that will be there much longer than chalk? Will/can the young offenders who ignore the anti-chalk rule be prosecuted in court, or be fined?

Is the next step to outlaw the sale of chalk altogether and related writing tools? Taking it to the absurd, perhaps the usage of chalk by the local teaching profession could be considered a safety hazard.

I mean, really...

To say that the town residents aren't happy with the situation is an understatement with more than 200 people signing a petition to let the children play with sidewalk chalk.

Absolutely unbelievable that this is an issue at all! What next? No roller skating on sidewalks? Or playing jump rope...after all, somebody could fall over a child that is doing what children love to do. The mind boggles.

Getting the point

It always amazes me in addition to scratching my head and raising my eyebrows, as to why humans feel the need to do - well - dumb things. What's the attraction in performing life-threatening "tricks" that threaten one's well being?

So this guy, 31-year old Australian performance artist, Chayne Hultgren, a.k.a. The Space Cowboy, took it upon himself to test his body's taste for metal. The metal in question is 18 swords measuring 28.35 inches long, at an outdoor festival in Sydney, Australia, presumably in front of a crowd. I mean, what's the use of doing life-threatening feats of stupidity unless there are people around to witness the so-called feat? Actually, it appears according to the news reports that he did it to get into the Guiness Book of Records to beat the record he had set in 2008.

Talk about a taste for heavy metal!

Acknowledging there was an element of danger involved, he admitted that while the stunt was not dangerous, he trained for a long period of time. I bet.

"Wow, I did it, it feels good, thank you very much, it feels really good actually," he said after setting the record.

Feels good??? Not dangerous?? How could swallowing 18 swords "feel good?" Why don't people who crave metal use cutlery instead, like forks, spoons or even butter knives that could produce the same sensation but don't threaten one's well-being? There is no information available as to what he did with the swords following his accomplishment after having the swords sliding around his insides. Also, there is nothing about whether he followed a special diet before the big show. Good thing nobody had a magnet nearby.

Santa Claus group demanding priority for flu shots

Gimme a break in the true sense of the word!

What is happening to Santa and his Christmas spirit? Seems that a group of Santas is demanding because they seem to believe it's due to them, priority in as far as receiving flu shots.

The group - the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas even held a seminar on the virus at a recent conference in Philadelphia.

What next? How to appear non-threatening to children and wear a face mask 101?

AORBS - that's them - is now lobbying for its members to be put on the much sought after swine flu vaccination priority list.

Group President, one Nicholas Trolli, said the campaign was "not so much to protect the Santa, but to help protect the public".

"I have heard across the country numerous Santas who have actually had the swine flu, but I have not heard reports back of any of our Santas being able to get the swine flu shot as of yet," he said.

The group also urged its members to use a hand sanitizer and take vitamins to boost their immune systems - and urged parents will keep sick kids away.

"If you contact AORBS, we will do our best to get a Santa to come to your home so you won't be exposing other children," Mr Trolli said.

The rival Santa America group is also calling for Santa Claus be made a priority group for the swine flu vaccine - much like health care workers.

Next thing you know, a group representing reindeer will demand that they be put on the priority list because they're close to Santa. No mention as to whether the Mrs. Claus's are demanding equal representation...elves... It just never ends.

Cutting the grass, mower or less

It's Spring, when a man's or woman's thoughts usually turn to...mowing the lawn. After a long winter's nap buried snugly under a blanket of white, nature compels grass to do what grass usually does. Grow it does and then some.

Came accross an interesting piece in a news article.

Here's something for people who kvetch about how fast their lawns grow and how difficult it is to keep up with cutting them/it/the grass.

Seems that the British are now adopting - wait for it - wallabies as pets to trim their lawns. A wallabie according to Wikipedia, is "any of about thirty species of macropod (Family Macropodidae). It is an informal designation generally used for any macropod that is smaller than a kangaroo or wallaroo that has not been given some other name."

Now you know but let's get back to this new craze that could be sweeping England.

According to the article that I found, wallabies don't come cheap at a cost of £150 for males and £650 for females. Notice that the females are considerably more expensive than the male wallabies whatever that means.

Let's say...people (in this case Brits, but their popularity could spread) really take to wallabies and slowly they replace sheep. Slowly, sheep will lose their place as the official grass nibblers of the hills, replaced by the interloping Australian marsupials. A time could arrive down the line when sheep will have to fight for a piece of land, just like the days in the old west. There will be public appearances on talk shows like Oprah and Ellen with their human spokes-people showing un-sheared sheep suffering from over-wooliness syndrome. Facebook campaigns to save-the-sheep will emerge. The craze could spread accross the ocean at our doorsteps and it won't be long before wallabies will become a public fixture on weekends cutting North American lawns.

"See you got a new lawnmower," a neighbor will say to another, setting up the scene. "Nice model. I got a new one too."

At which point the neighbor-Mr. wallabie-owner will lead out his new living model mower while the other neighbor watches in stunned silence.

It's a possibility!

Somewhere down the line there will probably be a public outcry with animal rights protesters decrying the use of wallabies for human usage as barbaric and detrimental to the wallabie's health. At that point wallabies will lose their appeal and sheep will retain their former glory.

By the way anyone looking to keep a wallaby should have enough land for them to roam, at leat a half an acre with fences at least 5ft high to ensure they can't jump for freedom.

I mean, really. What next? Trained angel fish? For the record I tried training my angel fish without any success. Stubborn breed I'm told.

Kangeroo burger anyone? Pass!

I dunno about this one.

I'm beginning to ponder - correction - not beginning... I ponder the thought process of some scientists (not all).

Seems that there's a school of thought by one Australian scientist no less, that switching from - wait for it - beef(!) to kangeroo burgers/flesh can significantly help in reducing the greenhouse gas.

Huh? Say what?

Kangeroo? As in those cute adept jumpers with big feet and built-in handy pockets?

Are we as in your ordinary North American or even European and beyond, expected to actually eat those animals??? Can't speak - or write - for others but for me it's a big: NOT!

According to a report the methane gas produced by sheep and cows through burping and flatulence is stronger than carbon dioxide in the damage it can cause to the environment. Furthermore, kangaroos produce virtually no methane because their digestive systems are different. Dr George Wilson, of the Australian Wildlife Services, urges farming them.

Oh the horror of it all! Raising 'roos for the specific purpose of food for humans. It's so-so...canibalistic, IMHO.

Sheep and cattle account for 11% of Australia's carbon footprint and over the years, there have been various proposals to deal with the problem.

Problem?

Since when did kangeroos become a problem?Australia already produces 30 million kangaroos farmed by landholders in the outback. What next? Panda burgers?

This begs the question as to where and what all the sheep and cows living on planet earth are expected to do with all the accumulated gas? Perhaps - just a suggestion - if a ways could be discovered for all that smelly air to be made commercially viable, we wouldn't be discussing eating 'roo meat. Right?