Showing posts with label cigarettes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cigarettes. Show all posts

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Still more stories that make you wonder like Queen Victoria's bloomers

Have to admit that during my daily search for literary inspiration, it's always the - how shall we say (or write) - weird-ish - stories that attract my attention. Found a few interesting pieces that are definitely in my eyes, anyway, worth sharing.

QUEEN VICTORIA'S UNDIES AUCTIONED OFF

Why anyone would want a pair of used underwear with a 38" waist, worn by Queen Victoria is questionable, but obviously there is a demand for used panties worn by important people, especially royalty. In this case, a pair of linen bloomers worn the Queen was auctioned off as royal memorabilia in Essex, England. The item, among 150 lots, was sold to a collector for £360. Maybe I'm cheap but that's a lot of money for a pair of underpants.

According to the auctioneer, people liked to collect clothing and "you can't get more personal than royal pants". True. One can understand the attraction to a jacket, say, worn by Elvis and similar items but a pair of bloomers? One - me - assumes they were washed... Thinking further, where would one keep a pair of (royal) bloomers? In a glass display case?

The most expensive item in this auction was a 6" gilded presentation carriage clock engraved with the inscription "Presented by HRH The Princess of Wales"  and a piece of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's wedding cake went for £420. Thinking once again ("two thoughts in one day, Eleanor! This is a record!"), one (me) assumes that the wedding cake is stored in a sealed container, lest it attract undesirable creepy-crawlies, no?

Obviously anything connected to royalty is in demand, however, a pair of underwear wouldn't do it for me. You?


BAH HUMBUG!

The holiday period is almost upon us and the usual plethora of Santa Claus-es are popping up in local malls. Anyone wearing a Santa suit most likely would have a happy disposition but not necessarily.

A 21-year old Kingston, Ontario, Canada, resident was arrested during a Santa Claus parade, after complaints that he was disturbing the peace espousing anti-Santa sentiments. The man who was walking along the parade route, was heard telling children that Santa didn't exist. One can imagine the impact his words had upon the kiddies.

"Is it true, mom/dad?" a child could have tearfully asked his parents. I mean - what does one tell their offspring?

Anyway... After parents provided a description of the anti-Santa, who was described as "having hair formed to look like horns protruding from his head," police nabbed him and he was charged with causing a disturbance by being drunk and breach of probation.


A FEEL GOOD PRE-HOLIDAY STORY

As a counter-point to the anti-Santa story, here's a pre-holiday piece that gives one faith in humanity.

Once their usefulness is finished, many people donate still usable items to Good Will to be recycled for use by others. Sometimes, though, this act of generosity could be costly..

A man living in Texas, wanted to be a good citizen and donated a package of clothing to Goodwill. However, unbeknowst (I like this word) to him, in a pair of shoes was his and his wife's life savings. A worker for Goodwill while sifting through the items, checked out a pair of black loafers and came accross a bunch of 33-$100 bills. The employee and the group, put the money aside for seven days hoping that the owner would show up.

Sure enough, a woman from Galveston, Texas walked in to claim the cash stating the exact denomination of the bills, proving that she was the owner. She offered the explanation that her husband wasn't aware that the shoe had served a double purpose in the closet, with the shoe playing the role of a piggy bank. Talk about good will!

OH DEER!

Obviously, the warning about the dangers of smoking doesn't apply to non-humans. Two men in Texas were attacked by a deer no less, in their front yard before it stole their cigarettes. So I'm thinking here, why would a deer steal cigarettes unless it had a nicotine habit. But I digress.

While exiting their homes, the men noticed a deer in the yard, who seemed friendly initially but changed its mind and charged one of the men. The duo fled to a nearby pickup truck for safety but one of the men was forced to jump into the truck bed to escape the now very angry deer. Maybe he didn't get his nicotine fix or something. Go know deer habits! The driver side door was open and the deer climbed in, grabbed a pack of cigarettes from the center console and started to eat them. I mean, totally understandable if there was no lighter or matches nearby, one presumes. When one of the duo tried to get the cigarettes back, the deer protected his smokes agressively. In the end, police had to hit the deer with a stun gun. Seems there's nothing worse than a deer with a nicotine craving.

How was your week?
 

 
 

Sunday, May 29, 2011

What happened to supermarket manners and courtesy?

For whatever reason, shopping at the supermarket has become an excursion in bad manners, IMHO. Case in point: yesterday while waiting to check out grocery items in a line, the woman in front decided that she needed a pack of cigarettes - had to have those cigarettes right there and then. She asked the check out cashier for a pack, after which the cashier directed her to counter where the cigarettes were available. However, the cigarette-craving-female (CCF) expected the cashier to leave her cash and get them for her! After being informed that the CCF would have to go buy them herself, the woman asked the cashier and the line-up of shoppers one of whom was me, to wait until she went to buy a pack.

"I don't think so!" I told Ms CCF.

"But it will only take a minute!" she responded, starting to move out of the line in quest of her cigarettes.

"Why don't you wait and buy your cigarettes after you check out your items?" I told her, quite miffed at that point.

The cashier for her part, realizing that I was somewhat PO'd, jumped in and told the woman that if she chose to go buy her cigarettes, then she would check out my items first. Internally, I smiled. After a five second pause while the CCF considered her options, she left her items in pursuit of her pack of cigarettes. Meanwhile, the cashier checked out my items first until Ms CCF returned to her place in front of me, presumably happier for having a pack of cigarettes in her purse.

Then there's the people who feel they are entitled to taste cherries - note the plural form used here - as they bag them. There are no signs visible anywhere offering free cherries and/or taste-testing, people! One pays before tasting! A few are dropped in the plastic bags and the remainder of the cherries are stuffed into mouths, as cherry juice drips down the side of their faces. These are the same people who also spit their cherry pits to the ground or back on the cherry display. Nothing more disgusting than coming accross or finding a saliva ridden cherry pit during hand picking. Blech!

Also falling into this category are shoppers who strip the leaves off fresh corns and throw them on to the ground. Also worthy of mention are veggie choosers who press tomatoes and other fragile veggies like peaches, nectarines et al, to the point of leaving indented finger marks. Don't we all just love to eat fruit with somebody else's fingers on the surface? Again - blech!

Or how about people who remove the enclosure tabs inside orange juice containers for whatever reason and then replace back into the refrigerator display.

Not to be overlooked are shoppers who take the shopping carts to their cars without replacing them in the allotted area, allowing the shopping cart wheels to roll on to fenders.

In any case and to return to Ms Cigarette Craving Woman, last time I spotted her as I was pulling out of the parking lot, she was puffing away while emptying the shopping cart. Talk about money going up in smoke. Really.