The Ig Nobels - recognizing achievement for...stuff

There are well-known prestigious awards distributed to those who gain international recognition in various fields of achievement in the sciences, literature and/or are successful in various scopes of performance and related areas. Then there are lesser known distinctions bestowed to people whose contribution to society could be, but not necessarily, considered somewhat questionable or at the very least, head-scratching-inducing.

Somehow, the 2015 Ig Nobel Prizes almost slipped by on my part, without any of the usual acknowledgement and commendation to the winners. These are achievements that elicit laughs but are also thought-provoking. This year's winners gathered together on September 17 at a ceremony at Harvard University's Saunders Theatre, followed by a lecture at MIT. These people went home with an Ig Prize:

The prize for Chemistry went to Calum Ormonde and Colin Raston (Australia), Tom Yuan, Stephan Kudlacek, Sameeran Kunche, Joshua N. Smith, William A. Brown, Kaitlin Pugliese, Tivoli Olsen, Mariam Iftikhar, Gregory Weiss (USA), for their invention of a chemical recipe to partially un-boil an egg. This is no yolk...eggs-actly.

The rationale behind the desire to un-boil an egg is curious but then again, one could ask oneself whether an egg is half-boiled or not, would it make a difference to a hen? Just thinking...


In the science of Physics, Patricia Yang (USA and Taiwan), David Hu (USA and Taiwan), Jonathan Pharm and Jerome Choo (USA),  who tested the biological principale that nearly all mammals empty their bladders in approximately 21 seconds (plus or minus 13 seconds).

Contemplating further, one (me) wonders whether this would vary following a night of alcoholic indulgence. Just thinking...


So Mark Dingemanse (The Netherlands), USA), Francisco Torreira (The Netherlands, Belgium, USA) AND Nick J. Enfield (Australia, The Netherlands), who took home the Literature Prize, for their earth-shattering discovery - wait for it - that the word, "huh" (or its equivalent) seemed to exist in every human language - and for not being quite sure why.

Would depend, IMHO, if one considers "huh" a word uttered on purpose or merely an exhalation of breath on a windy day. What about the Canadian equivalent of "eh:? Where does that fall in the scheme of things? Just wondering...


In the area of Management, Gennaro Bernile (Italy, Singapore, USA), Vineet Bhagwat (USA, India) and P. Raghavendra Rau (UK, India, France, Luxembourg) in their discovery that many business leaders developed a fondness for risk-taking in childhood when they experienced natural disasters i.e. earthquakes et al that - for them - had no dire personal consequences.


Now here is something worthy of recognition. The Bangkok Metropolitan Police were recognized in the Economics area (Thailand), for offering to pay policemen extra cash if the policemen refused to take bribes.


For the Medicine prize, two groups received the honors jointly - perhaps they were testing their experiments: Hajime Kimata (Japan, China), Jaroslava Durdiakova (Slovakia, US, UK), Peter Celec (Slovakia, Germany) Natalia Kamodyova, Tatiana Sedlackova, Gabriela Repiska, Barbara Sviezena and Gabriel Minarik (Slovakia), for their study examining the biomedical benefits or biomedical consequences of intense kissing (and other intimate, inter-personal activities).

So how this falls into the medical sphere is interesting but even more interesting would be what type of activities did they conduct to arrive at their conclusions. Right?


The prize in Mathematics was awarded to Elisabeth Oberzaucher (Austria, Germany, UK) and Karl Grammer (Austria, Germany), for trying to use mathematical techniques to determine whether and how Moulay Ismael the Bloodthirsty, the Sharifian Emperor of Morocco, managed during the years from 1697 through 1727, to father 888 children.


Yet another chicken aspersion in the Biology prize category. Bruno Grossi, Omar Larach, Mauricio Canals, Rodrigo A. Vaszuez (Chile), Jose Iriarte-Diaz (Chile, USA), for observing that when one attaches a weighted stick to the rear end of a chicken, the chicken then walks in a manner similar to that in which dinosaurs are thought to have walked.

Why do chickens have to suffer indignities like having a weighted stick attached to their rear end? I mean, is there a reason? It's bad enough having to speculate about their motivation for crossing the road/highway/street etc. and now being categorized as walking like a dinosaur? Really and when you think about it (too much time on my hands, obviously), who was around to witness the manner in which dinosaurs walked, anyway? Am I wrong, readers?


I dunno. Some people really seem to enjoy pain, Two individuals, one Justin Schmidt (USA, Canada) for painstakingly (in the true sense of the word) creating the Schmidt Sting Pain Index that rates the relative pain people feel when stung by various insects.
Really.

Also, Michael L. Smith (USA, UK, The Netherlands) in the area of Physiology and Entomology, for carefully arranging for honey bees to sting him repeatedly on 25 different locations on his body, to learn, which locations are the least painful (the skull middle, toe tip and upper arm) and which are the most painful (the nostril, upper lip and - can't believe I'm writing this - penis shaft).

It's really difficult to believe that someone, even in the name of science, would allow a/some bees to sting him on the penis shaft.  Bee+stinger+penis=extreme pain.


And so yet another year of dubious distinctions has come and gone but definitely not without notice or accolades. Next year - who knows. The mind boggles.

Famous names who declined to be royally recognized

As a writer in the silver years of a career as a local columnist - the word "golden" seems so final - it would be nice to be recognized for my contribution to the literary world. Having retired from covering and reporting on all the local community happenings, somehow it's doubtful that readers will recall my pieces focusing on pot holes or lack of snow clearance and the like.

"Ah yes - those great pot hole stories in '98," someone might but not likely recall when discussing writers. "That Eleanor Tylbor sure knew how to cover those large holes in the road! And those wonderful rants about the lack of snow clearance were the best!"

In any case, there are famous writers who have been recognized for their literary accomplishments by none other than Queen Elizabeth, who bestows letters after their names in the way of recognition. These letters mean that their careers have been successful and they are known in their genre. Then there are others who for whatever reason have declined to accept the royal honor.

Contained in a official and formerlyt secret document, were the names of 250 people who declined the Queen's offer to honor their work. This leaves one - me - who wonder as to the reason for the big secrecy. For example and according to an article in Reuters, artist Lucien Freud, sculptor Henry Moore and author Roald Dahl it was "thanks-but-no-thanks" offer. Same thing for director Alfred Hitchcock but he accepted a knighthood eventually. One presumes that a knighthood is a step above three letters. I mean, go know as an ordinary person, which honor is higher. You have your O.B.E. and your C.B.E. and then your knighthood and the female equivalent, sisterhood... Checking further on Wiki, you also have your OBE, GBE, CH, OM...the list goes on. It's like an alphabet soup of honorary letters. But I digress.

Some other well-known public figures that fall into the "thanks-but-no-thanks"category are Francis Bacon, L.S. Lowry and Aldous Huxley.

It appears that the information was made public after numerous requests under the freedom of information laws. This leaves one - me - to ponder why people would want to know who rejected being honored but somebody obviously wanted to keep track of the "nays."

Ruminating further regarding the bestowing of honors, perhaps there should be special honors or mention for your ordinary but very necessary people whose jobs over a long period of time contribute to the well-being of society.

OTC- Outstand Trash Collector - bestowed to brave trash collectors who daring feats of bravery risked their lives hanging on the back of garbaage trucks, holding on to the rear of the truck with one gloved hand while balancing on one foot, and survived.

PDPA - Paper Delivery Person Award - honoring people who get up at the break of dawn to ensure that readers are kept abreast of the latest breaking news at their door steps

SCPPA - Shopping Cart Person Picker-upper award given to supermarket personnel whose job it is to gather and pick up all the shopping carts that are discarded anywhere and everywhere, including on car bumpers

WSPC - Waterspray Produce Creator award given to person who created the water spray that drops seemingly every two minutes inundating and soaking everthing and everybody standing within 3 feet of the produce display.

Any interesting additions to the above are welcome and will be added to the list.

When it's all said and done, my epitaph will be, "she lived - she wrote - she croaked."  Then again, I'm always open for a few letters.