I dunno...if this doesn't prove we're living in weird times, than I don't know what will.
Believe it or not the first ever internet radio station for dogs, DogRadioThailand.com has been launched. Among the criteria in addition to playing music is to know how to bark.
Bark: as in 'rowf-rowf' or 'bow-wow' as the case may be or in this case, what the music calls for!
The content or play list features barking DJ's playing vocals and intrumental music 24 hours per day.
One of the main qualifications as expected, is that the DJ's be gifted in the barking department because according to the station owner, dogs are the main clientele/listeners and DJ's are required to make different sounds to attract and retain their (the dog's) attention like whining, barking, woofing...the usual doggie talk.
There are plans to expand the progamming with the disc jockey communicating to the dogs in Thai and the audience - at least the canine listeners - will be encouranged to respond. This of course begs the question as to the correct usage of barks. A DJ could for example say: "grrrrowwwfff" in which he believes to be telling the dogs to listen to Barry Manilow, when in reality he could be saying "Pee on the carpet!" I mean, go know!
There is no information available regarding whether hourly news reports and weather updates are also included. Wwwww-oooof - and don't ask me what it means. I'm not into dog talk.
http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2006%5C05%5C15%5Cstory_15-5-2006_pg9_2
Monday, May 15, 2006
Thursday, May 11, 2006
ELEANOR'S DAILY RANT: A DAY AT THE SUPERMARKET
Having run out of fruit and vegetables, a trip to the supermarket was in order. The very same supermarket that allows or at least closes its eyes to shoppers tasting-before-they-buy. Given the fact that I ended up needing more than a hand-full of items, a shopping cart was required. Not any particular shopping cart, mind you. Any shopping cart would suffice.
Silly me!
There is a long line of shoppping carts inside the entrance of the supermarket, placed one inside the other. I pull at the first one...and pull...and pull but the*&%$%/* cart is wedged in. At this point I'm consumed with frustration and there are beads of perspiration on my forehead. 'Calm down Eleanor' I keep telling myself in an attempt to regain my composure. There are more carts outside and it galls me to have to actually go back outside to retrieve a cart when there are approx. 100 carts right in front of me that are unusable. However...out I go.
I pull...I push...I curse with heavy emphasis on the latter.
March into the supermarket and I'm ready to battle with any supermarket employee that crosses my path. There is a 5-7 minute wait at the customer service counter where a customer and the employee decide whether to exchange or reimburse a client for a frozen food item that has gone bad. No bill equals big decisions.
"Excuse me," I finally butt in, "but I need a shopping cart."
There was dead silence as all eyes turned to the lonnng line of carts at the entrance and then back at me.
"I can't pull them apart," I tell them. "All I need is one."
"I'm helping this customer now," the clerk informs me and returns to her customer. At that point the frozen food item was defrosting and a puddle of water was slowly getting wider accross the counter.
"Look - it's not a lot to ask," I jump in again. "All I want - all I need - is a shopping cart and then I won't bother you anymore."
She calls for an outside clerk over the loud speaker. I wait...and wait...and... Ten minutes later I remind her of my presence.
"They're all at lunch," she explains.
"What about the cart problem?" I gesture to a growing line up of people working at trying to extricate a cart. At this point people - strangers - were working in pairs trying to de-wedge one...any.
Probably sensing there could be a customer rebellion brewing, she calls a certain name over the store speaker and a tall guy in his early 20's who obviously worked out, saunters over. His arms are rippled with muscles.
The two of us return to the carts and there are now approx. a dozen people gathered around the carts discussing ways in which to get one.
It was like a scene out of the Ten Commandments where Moses extends his hand over the waters and the sea parts.
Using one hand the outside clerk removed the first shopping cart in the long line and suddenly all the rest wheeled forward, waiting to be retrieved. Together we all said "ahhhhhhh" as if he had just performed the greatest magic trick. Actually, he had.
Quickly grabbing a cart, I returned to the customer service counter waiting patiently in line to return a mini rose bush that I had purchased two days before, since the bottom leaves were dropping off. The customer service clerk looked a little nervous as she reimbursed me. Can't imagine why.
Silly me!
There is a long line of shoppping carts inside the entrance of the supermarket, placed one inside the other. I pull at the first one...and pull...and pull but the*&%$%/* cart is wedged in. At this point I'm consumed with frustration and there are beads of perspiration on my forehead. 'Calm down Eleanor' I keep telling myself in an attempt to regain my composure. There are more carts outside and it galls me to have to actually go back outside to retrieve a cart when there are approx. 100 carts right in front of me that are unusable. However...out I go.
I pull...I push...I curse with heavy emphasis on the latter.
March into the supermarket and I'm ready to battle with any supermarket employee that crosses my path. There is a 5-7 minute wait at the customer service counter where a customer and the employee decide whether to exchange or reimburse a client for a frozen food item that has gone bad. No bill equals big decisions.
"Excuse me," I finally butt in, "but I need a shopping cart."
There was dead silence as all eyes turned to the lonnng line of carts at the entrance and then back at me.
"I can't pull them apart," I tell them. "All I need is one."
"I'm helping this customer now," the clerk informs me and returns to her customer. At that point the frozen food item was defrosting and a puddle of water was slowly getting wider accross the counter.
"Look - it's not a lot to ask," I jump in again. "All I want - all I need - is a shopping cart and then I won't bother you anymore."
She calls for an outside clerk over the loud speaker. I wait...and wait...and... Ten minutes later I remind her of my presence.
"They're all at lunch," she explains.
"What about the cart problem?" I gesture to a growing line up of people working at trying to extricate a cart. At this point people - strangers - were working in pairs trying to de-wedge one...any.
Probably sensing there could be a customer rebellion brewing, she calls a certain name over the store speaker and a tall guy in his early 20's who obviously worked out, saunters over. His arms are rippled with muscles.
The two of us return to the carts and there are now approx. a dozen people gathered around the carts discussing ways in which to get one.
It was like a scene out of the Ten Commandments where Moses extends his hand over the waters and the sea parts.
Using one hand the outside clerk removed the first shopping cart in the long line and suddenly all the rest wheeled forward, waiting to be retrieved. Together we all said "ahhhhhhh" as if he had just performed the greatest magic trick. Actually, he had.
Quickly grabbing a cart, I returned to the customer service counter waiting patiently in line to return a mini rose bush that I had purchased two days before, since the bottom leaves were dropping off. The customer service clerk looked a little nervous as she reimbursed me. Can't imagine why.
Friday, May 05, 2006
PRAISE BE - A MIRACLE FISH TALE
I find 'em all. Consider this a fish tale with a happy ending.
In New Zealand a goldfish who lived in a garden pond and was swept away by floodwaters has been found alive in a roadside ditch more than a mile away.
Now if this isn't a miracle I don't know what is!
Seems that the fish had been swept away five days earlier in a storm and was presumed - well - in fishy heaven. However a farmer walking his dog recognized the fish as one of three belonging to his neighbors.
The fishes owner was obviously overjoyed that it had managed to survive but anyone who has owned tropical fish and neglected to clean the tank will tell you that dirty water isn't an impediment to their well being. In fact they seem to prefer it.
However, this does beg the question as to how the owner knew that this fish was "the" missing fish. After all there could be other fish in other ponds that were also swept away. What would have happened one wonders, if other fish owners claimed the found fish in question to be theirs? Could there have been a custody battle? It would have been difficult if not impossible for a judge to make a decision since it's rare that fish owners keep a copy of their fish's DNA at home. I mean, a gold fish is a gold fish is... Even a photo wouldn't help.
Anyway, the fish now named Nemo for obvious reasons, is back where it belongs (maybe) but there is no news or signs of his (or her) friends.
In New Zealand a goldfish who lived in a garden pond and was swept away by floodwaters has been found alive in a roadside ditch more than a mile away.
Now if this isn't a miracle I don't know what is!
Seems that the fish had been swept away five days earlier in a storm and was presumed - well - in fishy heaven. However a farmer walking his dog recognized the fish as one of three belonging to his neighbors.
The fishes owner was obviously overjoyed that it had managed to survive but anyone who has owned tropical fish and neglected to clean the tank will tell you that dirty water isn't an impediment to their well being. In fact they seem to prefer it.
However, this does beg the question as to how the owner knew that this fish was "the" missing fish. After all there could be other fish in other ponds that were also swept away. What would have happened one wonders, if other fish owners claimed the found fish in question to be theirs? Could there have been a custody battle? It would have been difficult if not impossible for a judge to make a decision since it's rare that fish owners keep a copy of their fish's DNA at home. I mean, a gold fish is a gold fish is... Even a photo wouldn't help.
Anyway, the fish now named Nemo for obvious reasons, is back where it belongs (maybe) but there is no news or signs of his (or her) friends.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
THE TOILET TALKS - THE INSIDE VIEW
Let's say we could peek in on a toilet summit taking place somewhere in the world, to see and hear what type of things are discussed.
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Okay people. Let's have a little order in the room... Please? I know you all have a lot of toilet talk to discuss... Good. Now I officially declare The Toilet Talks open
(loud raucaus applause and clapping)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
The results are in and there have been some amazing strides in toiletry all over the world
(more raucaus applause and whoops)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Give yourselves a big hand!
(still more racaus applause and clapping)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Well...not quite everyone.
(booing)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Now people! Let's be charitable here! Not everyone is as toilet-conscious as most of us
(booing)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Um... It seems...that there have been some complaints from the public about a bathroom right accross the street from Buckingham Palace
(there are gasps throughout the room)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Okay, okay...simmer down now... Is the representative from the Buckingham Palace Loo here?
(there is silence in the room)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Mr. John I. Gotta Go? John are you in the room?
(a hand goes up very cautiously)
Oh good. You're in the room John. Is there some type of problem we can help you with?
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
It's not my fault!
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Now John. We're all in the same bowl, so to speak. Share with us, friend!
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
It's the darned horsies!
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Horsies?
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
The Buckingham Palace Guard horsies
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
What in heaven's name are you talking about?
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
Every day it's the same thing. I clean the bathroom and after every changing of the guard, the bathroom is full of - well - manure
(there is a hum of chatter among the crowd)
CROWD
hum-hum-hum-hum....
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
I swear it's the truth!
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Are you expecting us to believe that... It's just too incredible. Perhaps it's not horsie-doo. Maybe it's people who couldn't make it to the toilet on time. After all it is near the Burger Queen restaurant
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
Listen sir. If there's one thing I'm familiar with it's the smell of - excuse the expression - shit and I'M telling YOU that it's horsey-doo!
(there are gasps around the room)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
I find this hard to believe
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
Okay. I swore that I wouldn't tell anyone but since nobody here believes me... Ahem... Actually, a couple of the royal guardsmen don't like to leave their horses tied up to telephone poles. You know how it is - kids wanna pet them...sometimes tourists climb on top t'take pictures. So they bring the horses with them with they pee - I mean, urinate. Now everyone knows. I hope the Queen won't penalize them or anything...
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Hmmm... I'll have to speak to the head guardsman about this. We can't have that type of behavior. We're trying to upgrade the toilet standards and horsie ka-ka is a no-no... Moving along...
A VOICE FROM THE CROWD
Hello? I have a confession. Hello? Sir?
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Who wants to be recognized
A VOICE FROM THE CROWD
It is I, the representative from India. I too have a confession to make. The reason for the toilets over-flowing is not bad plumbing as I claimed. It is - a thousand pardons - sacred cow dung! They were imported cows from the United States and worth a lot of money to the owners. Their owners paid me five-hundred United States dollars! I'm bad - I know...
(there are gasps and boos)
(another voice pipes up from the crowd)
ANOTHER VOICE FROM THE CROWD
I too have sinned! There is camel dung in my stalls
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
It's gonna be a long day
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Okay people. Let's have a little order in the room... Please? I know you all have a lot of toilet talk to discuss... Good. Now I officially declare The Toilet Talks open
(loud raucaus applause and clapping)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
The results are in and there have been some amazing strides in toiletry all over the world
(more raucaus applause and whoops)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Give yourselves a big hand!
(still more racaus applause and clapping)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Well...not quite everyone.
(booing)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Now people! Let's be charitable here! Not everyone is as toilet-conscious as most of us
(booing)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Um... It seems...that there have been some complaints from the public about a bathroom right accross the street from Buckingham Palace
(there are gasps throughout the room)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Okay, okay...simmer down now... Is the representative from the Buckingham Palace Loo here?
(there is silence in the room)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Mr. John I. Gotta Go? John are you in the room?
(a hand goes up very cautiously)
Oh good. You're in the room John. Is there some type of problem we can help you with?
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
It's not my fault!
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Now John. We're all in the same bowl, so to speak. Share with us, friend!
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
It's the darned horsies!
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Horsies?
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
The Buckingham Palace Guard horsies
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
What in heaven's name are you talking about?
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
Every day it's the same thing. I clean the bathroom and after every changing of the guard, the bathroom is full of - well - manure
(there is a hum of chatter among the crowd)
CROWD
hum-hum-hum-hum....
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
I swear it's the truth!
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Are you expecting us to believe that... It's just too incredible. Perhaps it's not horsie-doo. Maybe it's people who couldn't make it to the toilet on time. After all it is near the Burger Queen restaurant
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
Listen sir. If there's one thing I'm familiar with it's the smell of - excuse the expression - shit and I'M telling YOU that it's horsey-doo!
(there are gasps around the room)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
I find this hard to believe
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
Okay. I swore that I wouldn't tell anyone but since nobody here believes me... Ahem... Actually, a couple of the royal guardsmen don't like to leave their horses tied up to telephone poles. You know how it is - kids wanna pet them...sometimes tourists climb on top t'take pictures. So they bring the horses with them with they pee - I mean, urinate. Now everyone knows. I hope the Queen won't penalize them or anything...
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Hmmm... I'll have to speak to the head guardsman about this. We can't have that type of behavior. We're trying to upgrade the toilet standards and horsie ka-ka is a no-no... Moving along...
A VOICE FROM THE CROWD
Hello? I have a confession. Hello? Sir?
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Who wants to be recognized
A VOICE FROM THE CROWD
It is I, the representative from India. I too have a confession to make. The reason for the toilets over-flowing is not bad plumbing as I claimed. It is - a thousand pardons - sacred cow dung! They were imported cows from the United States and worth a lot of money to the owners. Their owners paid me five-hundred United States dollars! I'm bad - I know...
(there are gasps and boos)
(another voice pipes up from the crowd)
ANOTHER VOICE FROM THE CROWD
I too have sinned! There is camel dung in my stalls
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
It's gonna be a long day
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
TOILET MOMENTS VIDEOS: A FLUSH ABOVE THE REST
Speaking of toilets... For some more views on toilet related issues, drop by (or in as the case may be...see videos) and watch "TOILET MOMENTS" featuring a hilarious view of toilet related angst. It'll have you thinking twice the next time you enter a bathroom.
Funny stuff.
http://www.angelsoft.com/bathroommoments/clips.html
Funny stuff.
http://www.angelsoft.com/bathroommoments/clips.html
HEADS UP: MALAYSIA TO HOLD A TOILET SUMMIT
Malaysia aims to flush away its dirty toilet reputation. After all, a clean toilet is a thing to behold and admire. You would think so given the focus on this subject of late.
In order to clean up its image of having foul-smelling public restrooms, Malaysia will be hosting a National Toilet Summit to educate the public regarding the importance of a clean toilet.
According to a report public toilets in Malaysia are a big concern to residents and tourists with a lack of your basic toilet-tools like toilet paper, soap (ohmygawd and horror-of-horrors - no soap!) and on occasion, there is even a lack of toilet seats that are removed by vandals.
The summit according to a spokesperson, would be a meeting place for local officials and interenational experts on toilet management(!), including the founder of the World Toilet Organization. We're talking major toilet biggies here!
Go figure that toilets and their usage has become such an important focal issue and discussion subject. You have the World Toilet Summit, your Dry Toilet Conference in addition to the World Toilet Expo to be held in November in Bangkok, Thailand. It's enough to make a person flush with the urge to go...that is, to attend.
http://www.canada.com/topics/news/oddities/story.html?id=2e0da93e-da32-4c02-a4cb-de50e215b831&k=27139
In order to clean up its image of having foul-smelling public restrooms, Malaysia will be hosting a National Toilet Summit to educate the public regarding the importance of a clean toilet.
According to a report public toilets in Malaysia are a big concern to residents and tourists with a lack of your basic toilet-tools like toilet paper, soap (ohmygawd and horror-of-horrors - no soap!) and on occasion, there is even a lack of toilet seats that are removed by vandals.
The summit according to a spokesperson, would be a meeting place for local officials and interenational experts on toilet management(!), including the founder of the World Toilet Organization. We're talking major toilet biggies here!
Go figure that toilets and their usage has become such an important focal issue and discussion subject. You have the World Toilet Summit, your Dry Toilet Conference in addition to the World Toilet Expo to be held in November in Bangkok, Thailand. It's enough to make a person flush with the urge to go...that is, to attend.
http://www.canada.com/topics/news/oddities/story.html?id=2e0da93e-da32-4c02-a4cb-de50e215b831&k=27139
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