Saturday, December 23, 2006

CHRISTMAS SONGS WITH A DIFFERENCE

Getting tum-tum-tum-tum'd-out doing last minute Christmas - ooops - that should read holiday shopping? Feeling more than a little jingle-bell-rock'd fighting the crowd for last-minute electronic specials? It all gets a little too much some times given that the sounds of Christmas begin their rotation over-and-over the mall sound systems right after Halloween. Interesting thought that nobody has gone politically correct over this holiday. Happy Halloween is Happy Halloween, period.

For a change of pace - and a smile - I came accross some adaptations of well-known Christmas songs with some interesting lyrics . Sing 'em out loud! Merry Christmas...Seasons Greetings...whatever.

AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH - in carol form
(sung to Let It Snow)

Oh the weather outside is warming
And consensus, it is forming
It's time for Al Gore's refrain:
Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain.
The polar ice caps are shrink-ing
And the polar bears are sink-ing
It's 80 degrees in Maine
Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain.
When it finally gets too hot
The oceans will sweep us a-way
But if you say that they will not-
There's work in the Bush EPA!
Though the glaciers are getting goopy
And the tundra's chicken sou-py
In my Hummer I can't complain
Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain.

O' KFC - the Transfat Song
(sung to Oh Christmas Tree)

Oh KFC, oh KFC
How trans-fat free your chick-en!
You saw that you
Filled veins with glue
And watched as hearts stopped tick-in.
But now that you're a healthy franch
Your customers don't buy the ranch
Oh KFC, oh KFC,
We're liking what we're licking!

Cruise control
(sung to the tune of I'll Be Home for Christmas, before the recent nuptials)
I'll wed Holmes by Christmas
You can count on me
Then folks will say,
"He's not gay
He's straight as straight can be."
Christmas Eve will find me
Oh so heter-o
I'll be straight by Christmas
As far as you will know.

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