Wednesday, July 25, 2007


She's in the news again. Grabbed the last few minutes of Larry King Show on CNN last night since they had a guest host (forget his name) a lawyer who was excellent and a refreshing breeze of needed pizzaz on the show, along with a group of high-profile lawyers who defend well-known people in the entertainment business and actor Daniel Baldwin, discussing and analyzing the latest Lohan case and her recent relapse. Access Hollywood's Billy Bush was also a guest.

Baldwin, who has his own issues with drugs and/or alcohol abuse and has been in and out of rehab. himself, elaborated on the psyche of the addict and that Lohan - or anyone with addiction problems - has to address the underlying psychological problem, which causes the addiction before being be "cured." Given her (Lohan's) upbringing and lack of parental guidance thereof and her sudden thrust into the limelight (and fame) at a young age, her response was to turn to drugs and alcohol for solace. Baldwin also emphasized that she will have to hit rock bottom and acknowledge that she has hit rock bottom.

Speaking of the parents...Lindsay's dad put in an appearance and it seems that he has seen the light and has turned to religion for solace. Good for him. However his conversion has impelled if not compelled him to preach his beliefs to the apparently not-ready-to-hear-Lindsay and as a result, has been in trouble with the law regarding his over-zealousness.

The general concensus among the guests was that she could get sentenced for a long as in 6 mnths. or more stay once again in rehab., or given the fact that she's got a drunken driving charge over her head already and committed the same offense again, could do real time in a federal prison. It will be interesting to see if she will get the celebrity version of a sentence or be treated in the same manner as anyone else.

Seems that according to Lohan, she's now hinting that she was framed...or something similar but is definitely not admitting that the drug(s) found on her were in fact hers. After Bush e-mailed Lohan to inquire as to how she was doing, she e-mailed him back stating, "Yes. I am innocent...did not do drugs, they're not mine. I was almost hit by my assistsant, Tarin's mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy."

Sure Lindsay. Anything you say.

Oh well... Looks like she'll have a lot of time to think about it - behind bars unless she wises up.

Read the Access Hollywood story here:

Writers & Friends

Saturday, July 21, 2007


One thing that can be said about Montreal at this time of the year is that things take a funny turn. It's all due to the fact that the annual "Just for Laughs Comedy Festival" comes to town along with the appearance of some of the best known stand-ups accross the world.

In the past Jerry Seinfeld, Ray Romano, Jon Stewart and other famous or recognized "names" have made their name doing gigs "back when." This year William Shatner who is now as famous for his TV selling as his Capt. Kirk role, hosted a Gala comedy show as is Billy Connelly. All-in-all -Montreal bubbles-over with laughter and the place where humor rules. Pure entertainment and then some.

The names and comedians may have changed but the jokes and comedy are still the same with jokes that "slay." Here's a sampling of some of the best:"

"In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk. Ladies, you fake orgasms. We fake listening."
"I'm a black male, over 40, with no kids, living in the suburbs they wanted to put me in a museum. Why did I move to the suburbs? I started watching Desperate Housewives. If comedy didn't work out I can always try gardening."
"Women like jewelry. They're like racoons: show them some shiny stuff and they'll follow you home."
(Alonzo Bodden)

"I was in college: I went to I.O.U." "I was studying psychology and then I went straight into therapy."
"Twenty five years ago there were no computers. Can you imagine your job without solitaire?"
(Wendy Liebman)

"Marriage is built on paranoia and mistrust. I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and she wakes up out of dead sleep to say where are you going? Why, to have sex with the midget I store in the medicine closet,"
( Tom Papa)

"If the food needed pepper, it should be on it."
(Michael McIntyre (a Brit) on obsequious waiters)

"I told my mother I wanted to grow up and be a comedian. She said you can't do both."
"I was just at the airport. Those treadmills they've got are huge."
"My friend said you have to read this book, it's a page turner. Well, I know how books work." (Jimmy Carr)

"I'm proud of my grandfather. He shot down two German planes. Unfortunately this was in 1972, but you can never be too careful."
(John Moloney)

"In Dubai I got a throat infection and I coughed up phlegm and accidentally ordered a taxi to the airport."
(Sean Meo)

"You know you're fat when you drop something and say do I need that'?"
(Robert Kelly)

"In the German lottery, they don't pick six winning numbers. No, they eee-eliminate 43 numbers."
(John Moloney)

"Over 100 metres, crocodiles are faster than horses.. Don't know how many horses it took to prove that."
"Corn-fed, farm-reared chicken, good at tennis. I don't want to know about his childhood. I just want to eat the bloody thing."
(Danny Bhoy)

"People assume life in hell is hell. But they've got it all wrong. The devil looks on fondly on the sinners. He tells them: You've lied. You've cheated. You've stolen. Why, you've done the devil's bidding. Help yourself to drugs and hookers forever.' It's heaven that has to be the eternal bore."
(Jim Jeffries)

"Just caught CNN's Larry King and Britney Spears on the tube in a meeting of the mind."
(Dave Attell)

Writers & Friends

Saturday, July 14, 2007


Just when the world assumed or hoped, anyway, that they had heard the last of or at the very least had a rest from Paris Hilton, now comes word that she's being investigated for having special privileges during her stint behind bars...or the equivalent.

Seems that the Los Angeles County Sherriff's Department has opened an investigation to determine whether she received special treatment. To quote Homer Simpson: "doh!"

The internal investation will determine - wait for it - whether the heiress had access to a cell phone when all the other inmates had to wait in line to use your regular pay phones. As if this isn't bad enough they will also be looking into whether she was given a new jail uniform instead of a recycled one like most of the other inmates. Last but not least, they will be looking into whether she had her mail delivered by a captain given that most mail is delivered by inmate trusties.

Such crucial issues!


As an occasional viewer of the British comedy series, "Little Britain", which can definitely be described as naughty bordering on dirty, it comes as a surprise that there are plans to bring the series to this side of the ocean. The series that created the characters Vicky Pollard and "I'm the only gay in the village" Daffyd famous, will feature a mix of existing characters from their BBC shows and new ones who will depict contemporary America.

The series will be shows on HBO and actors Matt Lucas and David Williams will make it viewable for U.S. audiences in fall 2008.



Since the arrival of Posh Spice and her (more famous?) soccer star husband, David Bekham, it's been non-stop photos of the couple who have arrived on this side of the pond. He's here to play for his new team, The Galaxy, while Posh plays...herself in a special about...Posh, "Victoria Bekham: Coming to America" and part of the Spice Girls reunion tour.

Writers & Friends

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


Being that it's summer and always a slow-ish time in news, what better way to spend idle hours than to catch up on some celebrity gossip or updates.

Still waiting to hear who the new host will be for "The View" and hoping that either Whoopie Goldberg or comedian, Kathy Griffin will be the new addition. Speaking or writing about The View, one person who is definitely not interested is Ivanka Trump, who reports in People magazine that "there's zero chance I would do that." Hey - works for me since I don't think she's out-going enough to handle the job. Maybe dad, though, would be interested.

It's official. The town of Springfield, Vermont, population 9,300 has been selected to show the premiere of The Simpson's movie on July 21. In selecting the Vermont town 13 other Springfields in the U.S. were reported to have commented, "d'oh" upon learning the news.

Some people prefer theirs on a wafer while others like actress, Catherine Zeta-Jones prefers her caviar applied directly on her hair for that extra-healthy look. Not only caviar but truffles too. Seems that the Beluga (no less) is flown in from Iran five days ahead of her salon treatments in England at a cost of £200 a shot. Let's hope she doesn't run into any cats.

News you don't need to might might want to know:

According to her blog, Tori Spelling is now an ordained minister. For her first...act as Minister Tory, she united "Tony and Dex as life partners in love."

Tuesday, July 10, 2007


Love him or hate him, one thing for sure is that Michael Moore, he of "Sicko" fame sure knows how to get attention. For example yesterday, Monday, July 9, Moore took on CNN's Wolf Blitzer leaving the veteran reporter more-or-less speechless. A bitter tirade of words flowed out of Moore's mouth as he touched upon subjects that included Iraq and the criticism of some of his facts in "Sicko."

As expected YouTube has the visuals here:

Writers & Friends

Wednesday, July 04, 2007


Just wondering - I do that a lot - if there are people reading this who are joke-deprived. By joke-deprived I'm not referring to the actual act of "getting" or appreciating when someone relates a funny story. I'm referring here to the actual act of telling or re-telling a joke that was told to them.

Y'see - I can't.

Well... I could if it was socially acceptable or allowable to carry the joke around on a piece of paper and read it aloud. However, I can't envision sitting at a table with - let's say - a business aquaintance and whipping out a cue card from my purse and then saying, "hey - did 'ya hear the one about..." after which I would recite it.

On the rare occasion that I've attempted to re-tell a joke, either I forgot the punch line or relate the joke incorrectly. Then I get hurt when nobody laughs or there's a puzzled expression on their face.

It leads one to wonder if there's a secret in joke telling and to this end a search on the Web revealed some hints in an article printed in Reader's Digest, with some hints passed on by some well-known comedians.

Comedian Jay Leno advises people to keep it simple.

"If you just do a joke about the funny noise that potato chips make when you bite into them, you'll get more laughs. Jokes work best when they're easy to understand," Leno advises.

Meanwhile, Conan O'Brien advises:
"The most important thing is to keep it short. It's like knowing when to leave the table in Vegas. Get your laugh or, if you're lucky, laughs, and then get off the stage. If you don't trust yourself, hire a friend to tackle you after four minutes."

So now I'm wondering (and admittedly hoping) that there are others like me "out there" that suffer from this affliction. If so - let's share angst and pass on some joke-telling advice and/or hints

By the way - heard any good jokes lately?

Writers & Friends

Monday, July 02, 2007


There are many ways as there choices in which to enjoy and savor cheese but in this world, there exists people who feel the need - nay the necessity - to take cheese to the next level.

Cheese lover, Troy Landwehr of Little Chute, Wisconsin, a state that knows something about this milk product, has created, carved and immortalized four U.S. president in cheddar. Seems the cheese carver has had this habit for almost twenty years and he began his first cheesy replica, the Batman logo, twenty years ago. His latest creation resembling those at Mount Rushmore includes Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln.

There is no information supplied as to the choice of cheddar instead of say stilton, mozzarella, provolone or others but cheddar does have a firm texture, which would make a good carving surface.

He will be promoting his sculpture in New York before it - the cheese - goes on tour where it will be stored, hopefully and presumably, in a rodent-free environment. Ultimately, the cheese quartet will end up in Oklahome where it will be cut up into cubes.

The cheese sculptor was commissed to make the sculpture by a cracker company.
Here's a photo of Landwehr in all his cheesiness:

Writers & Friends