God responds to phone messages left on His voice mail

Whereupon, artist, Johan Van der Dong, has provided a hotline, whereby people can connect to/with God via phone, and G-d returns His voice mail.


Hello, Hans? This is G-d returning your phone call."

"Who?"

"G-d? The Big Guy? The All Powerful and Mighty?"

"Ohhhhhhh...yeah. Sorry. I didn't recognize your voice for a minute. You're such a jerk! I mean - c'mon!"

"Pardon? Perhaps you're thinking of someone else? My personna has always been a source of speculation and strife - the two big "S's" - among religions."

"Stop fooling around, Phil. I know it's you!"

"Listen - I have a lot of return phone calls to make. Gazillions, even...all over the planet, earth. Then I have to look in on the wars and the dying people... So what can I do for you?"

"Yeah -surrrrre. Okay. Let's see... Today is Wednesday and you're working at Mario's, right? I'll take one all-dressed pizza and one vegetarian. This time make sure it's hot or no tip for you!"

"Seriously, I'm not Philip. I'm really...G-d!"

"You always did have a big ego, Phil! Now you're calling yourself G-d? You're pushing your luck, Phil!"

"Why do I bother? So many calls to make and so little time and somebody wants a pizza delivery."

"So...like...don't you want my new address? I moved last week!"

"Trust me - I know. Now if there's nothing else..."

"Now that you mention it, there is one more thing. Can you send along an order of onion rings?"