Whereupon, artist, Johan Van der Dong, has provided a hotline, whereby people can connect to/with God via phone, and G-d returns His voice mail.
Hello, Hans? This is G-d returning your phone call."
"Who?"
"G-d? The Big Guy? The All Powerful and Mighty?"
"Ohhhhhhh...yeah. Sorry. I didn't recognize your voice for a minute. You're such a jerk! I mean - c'mon!"
"Pardon? Perhaps you're thinking of someone else? My personna has always been a source of speculation and strife - the two big "S's" - among religions."
"Stop fooling around, Phil. I know it's you!"
"Listen - I have a lot of return phone calls to make. Gazillions, even...all over the planet, earth. Then I have to look in on the wars and the dying people... So what can I do for you?"
"Yeah -surrrrre. Okay. Let's see... Today is Wednesday and you're working at Mario's, right? I'll take one all-dressed pizza and one vegetarian. This time make sure it's hot or no tip for you!"
"Seriously, I'm not Philip. I'm really...G-d!"
"You always did have a big ego, Phil! Now you're calling yourself G-d? You're pushing your luck, Phil!"
"Why do I bother? So many calls to make and so little time and somebody wants a pizza delivery."
"So...like...don't you want my new address? I moved last week!"
"Trust me - I know. Now if there's nothing else..."
"Now that you mention it, there is one more thing. Can you send along an order of onion rings?"
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 09, 2009
"Hello God? Guess who?"
Given the busy schedules of people these days, finding time to connect to a "Higher Power" isn't always possible. However a dutch artist, Johan Van der Dong, appears to have taken this into account and has provided a hotline, whereby people can connect to/with God via phone.
The purpose of God's Hotline as it has become known is to focus attention on the means in which Dutch people perceive religion. To this end the artist selected a mobile phone number to underline that God was available anywhere and anytime.
Actually, it's part of Van der Dong's art installation in the town of Groningen and anyone calling will receive the message:
"This is the voice of God, I am not able to speak to you at the moment, but please leave a message."
To date 1,000 messages have been recorded and the messages are confidential and not part of the art project.
"I'm not a pastor, I'm an artist and I won't listen to the messages. It's a secret between the Lord and the people who are calling."
Hmmmm... I wonder if and what the "real" Supreme Being feels about this concept. Mind you, you hav'ta give the artist credit for ingenuity and a means to attract attention to himself and his work. More interesting is what type of message God would leave on our answering machines.
"Hello John Smith. This is God responding to your message left on my answering machine, yesterday..."
The phone number for anyone interested in leaving a message is:
The telephone number is 06-4424-4901 for callers in the Netherlands and +316-4424-4901 for those from other countries.
The purpose of God's Hotline as it has become known is to focus attention on the means in which Dutch people perceive religion. To this end the artist selected a mobile phone number to underline that God was available anywhere and anytime.
Actually, it's part of Van der Dong's art installation in the town of Groningen and anyone calling will receive the message:
"This is the voice of God, I am not able to speak to you at the moment, but please leave a message."
To date 1,000 messages have been recorded and the messages are confidential and not part of the art project.
"I'm not a pastor, I'm an artist and I won't listen to the messages. It's a secret between the Lord and the people who are calling."
Hmmmm... I wonder if and what the "real" Supreme Being feels about this concept. Mind you, you hav'ta give the artist credit for ingenuity and a means to attract attention to himself and his work. More interesting is what type of message God would leave on our answering machines.
"Hello John Smith. This is God responding to your message left on my answering machine, yesterday..."
The phone number for anyone interested in leaving a message is:
The telephone number is 06-4424-4901 for callers in the Netherlands and +316-4424-4901 for those from other countries.
Monday, May 05, 2008
In God We Trust. How Do You Spell That?
by Eleanor Tylbor
Perhaps he means well but somehow changing one's name to "In God We Trust" is bound to have interesting or at least humorous results. If the court allows him to do this.
Steve Kreuscher wants a judge to allow him to legally change his name. He wants to be known as "In God We Trust." Kreuscher says the new name would symbolize the help God gave him through tough times. The 57-year-old man also says he's worried that atheists may succeed in removing the phrase "In God We Trust" from U.S. currency. He recalls that the phrase "God Reigns" was removed from the Zion city seal in 1992 after Illinois courts deemed it unconstitutional. Zion was founded as a theocracy - by a sect that believed the Earth was flat. The school bus driver and amateur artist in the northern Chicago suburb says he has filed a petition to change his name in Lake County Circuit Court.
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Steve Kreuscher wants a judge to allow him to legally change his name. He wants to be known as "In God We Trust." Kreuscher says the new name would symbolize the help God gave him through tough times. The 57-year-old man also says he's worried that atheists may succeed in removing the phrase "In God We Trust" from U.S. currency. He recalls that the phrase "God Reigns" was removed from the Zion city seal in 1992 after Illinois courts deemed it unconstitutional. Zion was founded as a theocracy - by a sect that believed the Earth was flat. The school bus driver and amateur artist in the northern Chicago suburb says he has filed a petition to change his name in Lake County Circuit Court.
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So let's say... this man or another man is allowed to change his name to In God We Trust.
Let's say... it's time for him to sign his signature.
MAN IN GOD WE TRUST
(paying for food at restaurant)
Do you take major credit cards?
WAITER
Of course, sir
IGWT
Okay...here. Take this one(waiter walks away examining credit card. Returns a few minutes later)
WAITER
Um... Sir... We seem to have a problem here
IGWT
Oh? Did I put the wrong amount or something?
WAITER
That's fine. Um... It's about your signature?
IGWT
What about it?
WAITER
You signed the motto written on a coin. I'm sure it was a mistake
IGWT
Not!
WAITER
We require a real name, sir.
IGWT
In God We Trust!
WAITER
I'm sure you do - we all do, sir. However, we need a real name
IGWT
That is my real name
(Manager joins him)
MANAGER
Is there a problem here?
IGWT
Your waiter won't accept my credit card!
MANAGER
That's right. I told him not to! Sir - we need a name. A real name! Not a political statement or something... In God We Trust cannot in any way be considered a name. So if you'll just show us some other piece of identification...
IGWT
All my identification has In God We Trust. Do you believe in God?
MANAGER
What's that have to do with anything?
IGWT
Well - do you?
MANAGER
My personal beliefs have nothing to do with the present situation at hand. How about paying with some cold cash, instead?IGWTSee? It's your "who cares" attitude that could cause "In God We Trust" to be removed from our coins!
MANAGER
So you admit that's not your real name! I knew it!
IGWT
I beg your pardon! FYI - that IS my legal name! Here... I'll show you my driver's license...and my vehicle registration...
MANAGER
(reading pieces of identification)
Well, I thought I've seen it all! Forgive me sir. I was wrong and you're right! However, you must admit that this is a bit unusual
IGWT
Let's just say it's my own personal political statementMANAGERFine with me. Now if you'll just sign the bill here... I can't seem to read your second name.
IGWT
E Pluribus Unum. Is there a problem?
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
STATE SENATOR SUES GOD
O-kay... let's see what we have here... A state senator is suing - wait for it - God. The God.
The senator in question, Sen. Ernie Chambers actually started the proceedings against God last week, claiming that he is trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody.
The defendant in a state senator's lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He's everywhere. Furthermore, in his lawsuit, Chambers goes on to claim that God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."
Surrrrre. Of course...
The Omaha senator, who skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians, also says God has caused "fearsome floods ... horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes."
He's seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty.
Read it here: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/18/national/main3271308.shtml?source=RSSattr=U.S._3271308
It will be interesting to see if the accused will respond to the lawsuit and whether or not a search warrant will be issued if he doesn't show up for trial...if it goes to trial.
Writers & Friends
www.writersandfriends.org
The senator in question, Sen. Ernie Chambers actually started the proceedings against God last week, claiming that he is trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody.
The defendant in a state senator's lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He's everywhere. Furthermore, in his lawsuit, Chambers goes on to claim that God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."
Surrrrre. Of course...
The Omaha senator, who skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians, also says God has caused "fearsome floods ... horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes."
He's seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty.
Read it here: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/18/national/main3271308.shtml?source=RSSattr=U.S._3271308
It will be interesting to see if the accused will respond to the lawsuit and whether or not a search warrant will be issued if he doesn't show up for trial...if it goes to trial.
Writers & Friends
www.writersandfriends.org
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