Showing posts with label halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label halloween. Show all posts

Thursday, October 25, 2012

A Halloween story: SHE LIVES!

Wrote this short story a while back but bring it to the top of the list every Halloween. Reading it always makes me smile but hopefully it will leave you with a few shivers. If there's any lesson to be learned from it, it's be careful how you treat your fellow man...or whoever...

 
SHE LIVES!


“Good enough to eat!” she snickered to herself, adjusting the pieces of raw fish on the platter filled to overflowing with a vast assortment of sushi. Opening her mouth slightly, a thick stream of saliva trickled down her chin landing squarely on top of the two centre pieces.

 “My compliments to the chef,” she said in a whisper, wiping her chin with a crisp white napkin and using a corner to remove the blob of white slime on the fish.

 Everything had to be perfect for the hungry theatre crowd that would soon descend upon the buffet like a swarming of bees.

 She removed the cork from the champagne bottles and inhaled the bouquet, prompting a memory of her favourite beverage at ziggurat. Home seemed like a far off memory, more difficult to access with each passing day but this was no time to fall back on reminiscences. Control and moderation were her guide words since all was in readiness for the next and hopefully final step.

 She was feeling quite isolated these days and memories of her former life were the only thing that kept her going. It was becoming increasingly difficult to repress the other side. Back home it would be her day of maturation and a week of celebration, but here there was still work left to be done.

 “For heaven’s sake put the champagne in an ice bucket,” a voice behind her ordered. “Haven’t we taught you anything? Honestly – your type…” his voice trailed off as he moved down the table, his white linen serviette slapping away invisible crumbs from the tablecloth.  “You call this silverware polished?” he demanded, wiping the fork tines with a napkin. Such a lackadaisical effort but what can one expect coming from…your type? Why we agreed to take you on I’ll never know but only a little while longer, though, thank goodness.”

 She felt something building in her chest that slowly moved up to her throat, along with a definite pulsation on the right side of her eye.

 “Ignore him,” one of the waiters whispered. “Their kind’ think they’re so smart but they’ll find out otherwise, very soon.”

 “Oh he knows exactly what he’s saying and those words are intentional to maximize their effect on me,” she responded, her gaze now focused directly on the source of her growing rage.

 “It’s not uncommon for them to address each other in that manner,” the waiter offered, attempting to distract her attention. “I think they call it…sarcasm…”

At that point she had stopped hearing anything and started moving forward slowly at first, picking up speed as she neared her target. He was sampling some of the dishes laid out on the table when she moved directly behind him.

 “Can’t any of you do anything right?” he bellowed, spitting liquid back into the soup tureen. “I’ve had it. Tomorrow I’m going to start proceedings to have you all removed. I try and do a good thing and…”

 At the point where she was almost on top of him he whirled around, his face contorted in fear with the sudden realization of what was happening. Her trajectory was slightly off that evening having forgotten to regenerate the night before. The head leader had cautioned them to adhere to a daily routine or rapid decline would ensue. The organizer didn’t see the six foot green-grey mass of glowing orange skin and flesh lunge in his direction until it was too late. In fact there wasn’t even enough time for a scream to escape from his throat.

 “The sushi could be a little off tonight,” she commented as the features on his face turned into a bloody mass, “and the roast beef is a little overcooked for my taste. Of course I prefer mine more on the very rare side…” she opined. “Now let me ask you something important. Do you think a Chablis or rosé would be better?”

 By the time the theatre crowd filed into the room, she had the glasses filled with champagne.  The drink fountain was a particular hit and speculation was rife as to the source of the unusual red tint to it.

 She removed the white linen serviette from her uniform pocket and folded it neatly, to be added to the rest of her earthly souvenirs.

 “Don’t think you’ll be needing this anymore, sweetheart,” she whispered, patting her now bulging stomach.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Halloween - it's not just window dressing

Is it my imagination or is Halloween starting earlier every year? Seems to me that there are more temporary Halloween-related costume stores popping up in strip malls, indicating that this is still a growing market. Still, it is a fun holiday and one that is lucrative for the industry.

According to statistics on the www.Infographic.com site, there are 41 million potential trick-or-treaters accross the U.S.
- 85.78 million households will give out candy and other goodies
- would you believe that pet-owners shelled out $310 million dollars for pet outfits, $1 billion dollars on kids costumes and $1.21 billion in the adult costume sector.

According to the National Retail Federation, spending on Halloween costumes for pooches, and occasionally cats, is expected to hit a record $370 million this year, up nearly 20 percent from last year. Just thinking...in as far as outfits for pets are concerned, do owners ask their pets what if any, costumes they prefer? Maybe they would prefer to go "as is." True dressed up dogs and cats are cute but then they (dogs and cats, iguanas, et al) don't particularly look like they're enjoying the experience. Wonder how snakes take to being in costume...or turtles...or bats for example...

Click through this collection of pictures of pets dressed in their Halloween finest and decide if they look happy. But I digress.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/howaboutthat/8085577/Dog-owners-celebrate-Halloween-by-dressing-up-their-pets-in-bizarre-costumes-at-parades.html

Fact-ually-speaking, the best city for walking and trick-or-treating according to Prevention magazine, is San Francisco, while the safest city according to Forbes, is Plano, Texas.

Once the tricking or treating is over, it's time to eat all those goodies, which are not so good health-wise but readers already know that. Right?

- the average American eats 1.2 pounds of Halloween candy. No indication if this includes dentists - just a thought.

Horror films are in during the bewitching season. The five highest grossing Halloween or horror films/franchises of all time are:
"Saw" - $415.9 million, "Friday the 13th" - $380.6 million, "A Nightmare on Elm Street" - $370.5 million, "Scream" - $332.7 million, "Halloween" - $308.5.

I'm a big fan of "Rocky Horror Picture Show", the movie, but never attended a Halloween midnight showing featuring attendees getting into the picture.

According to www.Billboard.com, the most popular Halloween songs as compiled by plays on radio (2010) were and coming in at #1, no surprise, is "Thriller" by Michael Jackson (one of my favorites), "Monster Mash" by Bobby 'Boris' Picket and the Crypt Kickers (try saying that fast after a few drinks), "Ghostbusters" by Ray Parker, Jr, "Werewolves of London" by Warren Zevon, "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC, "A Nightmare on My Street" by D.J. Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult, "Somebody's Watching Me" by Rockwell, "Running With the Devil" by Van Halen, "Witchy Woman" by the Eagles.                                                                                

For a few laughs at people and pets celebrating the holiday in their own unique way, take a look at this Halloween compilation from America's Funniest Videoshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQdpLRocsEg

Finally, in as far as growing and producing the biggest pumpkin, Ron Wallace of Greene, Rhode Island, grew an orange monster that weighed in at 2,009 pounds, making it the largest pumpkin in history and in addition, the largest fruit ever grown in the world. The pumpkin was weighed in at the Topsfield Fair in Topsfield, MA last week. Wonder how many pumpkin pies one could make from that...

So what are you and your pet as the case may be, planning to dress up as for Halloween?





Sunday, October 23, 2011

"It!" - a fearful tale for Halloween

“Good enough to eat!” she snickered to herself, adjusting the pieces of raw fish on the platter that was filled to overflowing with a vast assortment of sushi. Opening her mouth slightly a thick stream of yellow saliva trickled down her chin landing squarely on top of the two centre pieces.

“My compliments to the chef,” she said in a whisper, cleaning the sushi with a napkin and then wiping the drool from her mouth.

Everything had to be perfect for the hungry theatre crowd that would soon descend upon the buffet like a swarming of bees.

Removing the cork from the champagne bottles, she inhaled the fumes as flashes of memory of her favorite beverage came flooding back. Home seemed like a far off recollection that was becoming more difficult to access with each passing day, but this was no time to fall back on reminiscences. Control and moderation were the guide words in preparation for the next and hopefully final step.

She was feeling quite isolated these days and images of her former life were the only thing that kept her going. It was becoming increasingly difficult to repress the other side. Back home it would be her day of maturation and a week of celebration, but she was here with work still to be done.

Patience, she had been reminded, was important for the success of their project.

“For heaven’s sake put the champagne in an ice bucket,” a voice behind her ordered. “Haven’t we taught you anything? Honestly – your type…” his voice trailed off as he moved down the table, his white linen serviette slapping away invisible crumbs from the tablecloth.

“You call this silverware polished?” he demanded, wiping the fork tines with a napkin. Such a lackadaisical effort but what can one expect coming from - your type? Why we agreed to take you on I’ll never know but only a little while longer, though, thank goodness.”

She felt something building in her chest that slowly moved up to her throat, and there was a definite pulsation on the right side of her eye.

“Ignore him,” one of the waiters whispered. “Their kind think they’re so smart but they’ll find out otherwise, very soon.”

“He knows exactly what he’s saying and those words are intentional to maximize their effect on me,” she responded, her gaze now focused directly on the source of her growing rage.

“It’s not uncommon for them to address each other in that manner,” the waiter offered, attempting to distract her attention. “I think they call it…sarcasm…”

At that point she had stopped hearing anything and started moving forward slowly at first, then picking up speed as she neared her target. He was sampling some of the dishes laid out on the table when she moved directly behind him.

“Can’t any of you do anything right?” he bellowed, spitting liquid back into the soup tureen. “I’ve had it. Tomorrow I’m going to start proceedings to have you all removed. I try and do a good thing and…”

At the point where she was almost on top of him he whirled around, his face contorted in fear with the sudden realization of what was happening. Her trajectory was slightly off that evening since she had forgotten to transfigure the night before. The head Imagineer had cautioned them to adhere to a daily routine or rapid degeneration would ensue. The waiter didn’t see the six foot green-grey mass of glowing orange skin and pulsating flesh lunge in his direction until it was too late. In fact there wasn’t even enough time for a scream to escape from his throat.

“The sushi could be a little off tonight,” she commented as his facial features blended into a bloody mass of flesh and bone, “and the roast beef is a little overcooked for my taste. Of course I prefer mine more on the very rare side…” she opined. “Now let me ask you something important.  Chablis or rosé?”

By the time the theatre crowd filed into the room, she had the glasses filled with champagne. The beverage fountain was a particular hit and speculation was rife as to the source of the unusual red-ish tint to it.

She removed the white linen serviette from her uniform pocket and folded it neatly, to be added to the rest of her earthly souvenirs.

“Don’t think you’ll be needing this anymore,” she whispered, patting her now bulging stomach. "Decorum is so important these days."