Nothing fishy about it - Debrett's has it all covered. More advice

As people who follow or at least read this blog are aware, I'm an admirer of Debrett's, "the" guide to everything etiquette. Advice on the 'how-to's" ranging from planning a wedding reception, decorum when meeting and out and about royalty, holiday deportment... basically a guide on the correct way to conduct oneself.

Periodically, it's good to check in with Debrett's for any updates or changes to their offerings. I mean, one should always be prepared in case an opportunity to meet-and-greet or dine with royalty. It wouldn't be acceptable for a social faux pas denoting a lack of savoir faire when it comes to politesse. Feeling very french today. But I digress.

It is for this very reason that a visual cyber consultation was in order lest one make a blunder in etiquette. Being that I'm not a fan of shell fish and my philosophy is this regard is not to eat a food that stares back at you and requires the wearing of a bib, never noted the section focusing on the consuming of these helpless, gourmet food items. According to the guide and to allow easy access to the flesh, it would be acceptable to use one's fork while holding a/the shell steady with one hand in order to make the task easier. A lobster cracker may be required to remove flesh from the large claws. According to wisegeek.com, a lobster cracker is a kitchen tool designed to help people crack open lobsters. Furthermore, "lobster crackers can also be used on crabs and some nuts as well." One assumes they're referring to the crustacean kind and not the human type.

Having eaten shell fish perhaps twice maybe four times in my life, the arrival of the/a crustacean on a plate with its black eyes staring into mine is just to emotionally overwhelming, especially the sound of cracking shells. Guilt thy name is Eleanor.

There is also a section devoted to the preparation and enjoyment of sushi.  Debrett's is like... so up-to-date on all the latest food favorites. In as far as this popular delicacy is concerned, raw fish doesn't do it for me although the vegetable sushi is acceptable. Its (sushi) texture on my tongue causes an instantaneous ejection of the consumed particle, if you get my drift. Back to the how-to's of eating, soy sauce should be poured into a saucer (or dish/whatever receptacle is on hand for this purpose) and mix in some wasabi. Debrett's advises that it is socially acceptable and even polite to pour some for your dining partner. Go figure!

"Wasabi my dear?"

"How nice of you to ask. Of course. What exactly is wasabi?"

"The partner for sushi. Here - let me pour for you. Say when."

The way to proceed is to dip sashimi or sliced raw fish, into the sauce with chopsticks and then enjoy. Never mastered the art of using chopsticks but they have a section covering the how-to's of mastering this art. It seems that "sushi rolls and nigiri (blocks of rice with fish on top) should be eaten whole; attempting to bite in two can lead to a scattering of debris across the table."

This leads one - me - pondering the acceptable form of collecting sushi debris from a table. Does one or should one attempt to pick it up with chopsticks, or is a fork acceptable? What about the use of fingers, which would ideally handle the task? Is a verbal apology acceptable or does one smile and concern oneself with the task of removing said sushi debris? These are important questions, people!

In any case and just in case sushi aficenados feel so inclined, came across a site that will help in the step-by-step creation of sushi specialties: http://www.pbs.org/food/fresh-tastes/how-to-make-sushi-with-step-by-step-breakdown/ This leads one - me - to ponder as to the best means in which to eliminate the post-sushi taste and odor following a sushi session.

In as far as learning the art of holding chopsticks, the thumb and forefinger manipulates the top of the stick while the middle finger rests between the sticks, while the bottom stick is motionless. It is the top stick manoeuvered by the thumb and forefinger that is used to grip the food and carry it up to one's mouth. Easier said or written than actually accomplished. Having never mastered this art, my philosophy is a fork handles the job so much easier - and neater. I mean, why torture oneself to manipulate sticks when cutlery is designed for this purpose? Debrett's concludes this subject with the advice never to use chopsticks to pass food to people (when you can pick up the food in the first place) and never use them to point at people. A finger is okay for this purpose but not chopsticks one presumes. Chopstick pointing could be dangerous or something.

Nothing fishy when it comes to Debrett's.

NEXT BLOG: We'll be examining how to eat canapes, oysters and caviar and later on, the art of eating spaghetti, and eating soup

Social tips for social people in the social season. Debrett's knows all!

The social season is on the horizon necessiting some basic table etiquette. When it comes to everything and anything concerning dining and manners in  general, Debrett's is the source to consult for advice on the how'to's of eating and conversing at the table.

Seated at a table and once food has entered the mouth, it is important to keep the food within one's mouth with lips closed to prevent other diners from seeing saliva-drenched, chewed-up food. There is nothing more blechy than having to watch - and listen - to a diner carrying on a conversation as food goes down.

Debrett's also suggests to eat at a relaxed pace (whatever that is) and really think about the food. Pondering further about this, one wonders how long one should allow for these thoughts. One minute...three minutes...what is the norm? Should one stare at the food or just glance down between mouth-fulls? Anyone know? But I digress.

- In as far as conversing with fellow diners, Debretts advises that this should be avoided at all costs and avoid directing a question at someone who is in mid-mouthful.

"A smile and an understanding nod will encourage them to swallow without rushing, spluttering or making sheepish gestures."

Really - this is not too practical in my opinion. The idea of dining out with people is to communicate. So big deal - an occasionial spit-up-morsel slips out. One can always take a napkin, dip it in water and wipe away the saliva off the recipient(s) clothing or person and offer an appology.

"Oh - so sorry. Got a little excited telling the story. Here - let me wipe that away," can be offered by the spitter to the spit-ee. But I digress - again.

- One should wait until everyone is served before starting to eat. This has always been a bone of contention for me. On occasion dishes do not arrive at the same time resulting in cool-ish food for the first served. I mean - first served - first finished, necessitating a waiting period until the last person finishes. A solution to this dilemma is to ask the waitress/waiter to keep the food warm until the last person receives her/his meal. That's why they have warming lights, right?

- When it comes to serving tea - this is where Debrett's really has it down pat. A tea pot is handy when serving tea to a group of people, Debrett's shares. Now the rule of thumb is, if a waitress/waiter/host places a teapot on the table without pouring the tea, the person nearest the pot should pour for everyone. This leads one -me - to wonder whether it should be the person on the right or left of the teapot that should handle the pouring honors. Perhaps a coin toss could decide.

- The handle of the teacup (or mug one assumes) should be held between the thumb and forefinger. It is not necessary to hold one's little finger in the air. Biscuits or cookies should not be dunked in the tea. Why - who knows. Neither should tea drinkers make slurping noises.

There is nothing mentioned about what to do if one burps or even how to prevent a burp from escaping from one's mouth. Should an apology be offered? Something to the effect: "oh sorry - I burped." Or should a burp be ignored? Another perplexing issue is how to retrieve a piece of food caught in the teeth. Inserting a finger or nail in the tooth is just not socially acceptable, nor using a toothpick. Neither is filling one's mouth with water and spitting it into the glass. Another issue that springs to mind is the usage of a napkin tied around the neck when eating things like tomato and pasta. Under what circumstances (if any) is it correct to use this? Speaking of napkins, is there any rules regarding the usage of paper napkins to blow one's nose?

These are important issues to ponder!

So now I'm wondering about coffee aficionados. To the best of my knowledge, coffee lovers pour their coffee into a mug, add cream/milk and drink. Sometimes life works best without rules but when guidelines are necessary, we can always consult Debrett's.