Social tips for social people in the social season. Debrett's knows all!

The social season is on the horizon necessiting some basic table etiquette. When it comes to everything and anything concerning dining and manners in  general, Debrett's is the source to consult for advice on the how'to's of eating and conversing at the table.

Seated at a table and once food has entered the mouth, it is important to keep the food within one's mouth with lips closed to prevent other diners from seeing saliva-drenched, chewed-up food. There is nothing more blechy than having to watch - and listen - to a diner carrying on a conversation as food goes down.

Debrett's also suggests to eat at a relaxed pace (whatever that is) and really think about the food. Pondering further about this, one wonders how long one should allow for these thoughts. One minute...three minutes...what is the norm? Should one stare at the food or just glance down between mouth-fulls? Anyone know? But I digress.

- In as far as conversing with fellow diners, Debretts advises that this should be avoided at all costs and avoid directing a question at someone who is in mid-mouthful.

"A smile and an understanding nod will encourage them to swallow without rushing, spluttering or making sheepish gestures."

Really - this is not too practical in my opinion. The idea of dining out with people is to communicate. So big deal - an occasionial spit-up-morsel slips out. One can always take a napkin, dip it in water and wipe away the saliva off the recipient(s) clothing or person and offer an appology.

"Oh - so sorry. Got a little excited telling the story. Here - let me wipe that away," can be offered by the spitter to the spit-ee. But I digress - again.

- One should wait until everyone is served before starting to eat. This has always been a bone of contention for me. On occasion dishes do not arrive at the same time resulting in cool-ish food for the first served. I mean - first served - first finished, necessitating a waiting period until the last person finishes. A solution to this dilemma is to ask the waitress/waiter to keep the food warm until the last person receives her/his meal. That's why they have warming lights, right?

- When it comes to serving tea - this is where Debrett's really has it down pat. A tea pot is handy when serving tea to a group of people, Debrett's shares. Now the rule of thumb is, if a waitress/waiter/host places a teapot on the table without pouring the tea, the person nearest the pot should pour for everyone. This leads one -me - to wonder whether it should be the person on the right or left of the teapot that should handle the pouring honors. Perhaps a coin toss could decide.

- The handle of the teacup (or mug one assumes) should be held between the thumb and forefinger. It is not necessary to hold one's little finger in the air. Biscuits or cookies should not be dunked in the tea. Why - who knows. Neither should tea drinkers make slurping noises.

There is nothing mentioned about what to do if one burps or even how to prevent a burp from escaping from one's mouth. Should an apology be offered? Something to the effect: "oh sorry - I burped." Or should a burp be ignored? Another perplexing issue is how to retrieve a piece of food caught in the teeth. Inserting a finger or nail in the tooth is just not socially acceptable, nor using a toothpick. Neither is filling one's mouth with water and spitting it into the glass. Another issue that springs to mind is the usage of a napkin tied around the neck when eating things like tomato and pasta. Under what circumstances (if any) is it correct to use this? Speaking of napkins, is there any rules regarding the usage of paper napkins to blow one's nose?

These are important issues to ponder!

So now I'm wondering about coffee aficionados. To the best of my knowledge, coffee lovers pour their coffee into a mug, add cream/milk and drink. Sometimes life works best without rules but when guidelines are necessary, we can always consult Debrett's.

Royal visit angst

Seems that Will and Kate, those royal love birds, will be visiting our neck of the woods so to speak, shortly. Once again another opportunity presents itself to be among royalty although still from afar, and give them the royal wave. You know - hand in the air, sort-of semi-circular movement but not all the way around. Queen Elizabeth has got it down pat but then she's had all those years to practice.

Then there's the decision as to whether or not a hat is in order, at all. I mean, what if one were to meet the royal couple one-on-one, then a hat would be in order one assumes. Accompanying this subject is the issue of whether one should wear a casual or formal hat, but for sure definitely not a baseball cap. Another dilemma, at least for me, would be whether or not to wear gloves and if so, should they be wrist or elbow length? Just doesn't seem logical to wear long-ish gloves up to the elbow with - say - pants, jeans or capris. In any case, these decisions call for yet another visit to Debretts for further consultation on royal manners for "what-ifs."

According to Debretts in their Royalty section, there is no accepted code of behaviour for encounters with royalty, "but adhering to the traditional forms of address will prevent anxiety."

Presumably, this includes no gum chewing if one is within viewing sight of the royal couple, and neither would cracking gum be acceptable. Another subject worthy of further thought is the wearing of panty hose. Would Kate notice if one's legs were bare and is it even appropriate to bear one's legs in front of royalty at all? So many questions with so few answers to these dilemmas!

To get back to Debretts, when being introduced to a member of the Royal Family men should bow and women curtsey. This subject was broached in an earlier blog entitled, "Meeting the Queen: what should one do?" if anyone reading this wants to know how to conduct oneself. A handshake is also acceptable. A bow should be made by bending from the neck or shoulders (not the waist) while briefly lowering your eyes. Lowering my eyes? What would happen - say - if one inadvertantly forgot to do this? How much of an faux pas would staring directly ahead be?

I can see the headlines now: "Royal goof - Ms blah-blah was seen not to lower her (or his) eyes while being introduced to Will and Kate." Could this be interpreted as being too brazen? So many things to remember.

Debretts also advises that should one happen upon a 'royal' during their time off, allow them the freedom to go about their business as an ordinary person. 'Assume that to royalty, being left alone is far from a slur; it is a luxury.'

Should one meet up with the royal couple while they take five at Second Cup or Starbucks, for example, one should not ask Kate or William to pass the sugar as a means of striking up a conversation. Neither should one keep any empty sugar packages that they may use, their coffee(or tea) cups for souvenirs.

Perhaps all this worry is in vain anyway, since they will be spending a mere few hours in our area. Thinking it all over, perhaps I'll just stick to practicing my royal wave and hope that they wave back. I mean, it's the least they could do.

Study reveals no buzz from morning coffee

Once again, this is one of those "huh?" articles since a study focusing on coffee was done no less by Brits. Given the reality that Brits are known for their love of tea, it's sort-of - well -weird that they are involved in this type of research. Actually, and at least for me, the results are somewhat confusing.

Researchers working out of Bristol University found that drinkers develop a tolerance to anxiety-producing and stimulating effects of caffeine.

Uh - duh! This is not news, people!

Then the report goes on that caffeine only brings people back to baseline levels of alertness - not above them. Whatever that means...

According to researcher/scientist, Peter Rogers of Bristol's dept. of experimental psychology(!), although heavier coffee drinkers feel that morning caffeine high, evidence suggests that it's actually the opposite and instead they experience withdrawal and fatigue. So if we understand this correctly and it's not easy, that first morning caffeine upper so-to-speak, really is a downer and the reason for morning fatigue.

More information we perhaps may-but-not-necessarily need.

"The authors also found that the genetic predisposition to anxiety did not deter coffee drinking. In fact, people with the gene variant associated with anxiety tended to consume slightly larger amounts of coffee than those without the variant, suggesting that a mild increase in anxiety may be a part of the pleasant buzz caused by caffeine."

This could mean that people who come from families with somewhat nervous personalities or dispositions, enjoy coffee. At least this is my interpretation.


Anyway, more background info. can be found here: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/06/100602211940.htm

As a tea drinker, mainly, but a coffee enjoyer too, my first morning cup of tea and/or coffee is a necessity in spite of these - well - convoluted findings. There is nothing like the sensation of the hot tea/coffee liquid as it hits the stomach, circulates around the body and finally makes it to the brain. Right?

Brits suffer cookie injuries

Why anyone would want a survey focusing on cookie accidents is puzzling but then this story comes from England, where scientists produce some very "interesting" studies.

According to a new survey written up in the Daily Telegraph, more than half of all Britons have been injured by biscuits. You read it right: good, old cookies. We're not talking anything physical like angry tea drinkers tossing biscuits at each other. Britons are a civilized lot and would never deem to such actions. It appears that an estimated 25 million adults have been injured while dunking their biscuits or breaking a tooth. Go figure that dunking a biscuit could be dangerous but I digress. What's more, 500 people have actually gone to the hospital as a result of their injury.

"Well doctor – I was dunking my chocolate biscuit in my tea, not realizing that the water was scalding hot and burned my lip," a tea drinker might offer in the way of an explanation. Or "well doctor - I was digesting the remnants of my vanilla cream, my favorite biscuit and suddenly some crumbs got caught in my throat. I choked so much that my dog, Cedric, became alarmed and barked, which alerted my wife, Priscilla, who gave me CPR. Unfortunately, she broke a few ribs not knowing that the problem area was my throat."

It seems that custard creams are deemed the most dangerous risk at 5.63 according to The Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation. Does this group really exist and if so, why haven't North American companies been using their services? Jaffa cakes on the other hand, are rates the safest biscuits at 1.16. This important stuff we all should know!

Research company, Mindlab International were commissioned by Rocky, a chocolate biscuit bar, to conduct the research. So this begs the question as to why Rocky would pay a company to rate biscuits, period.

According to the results, it found almost a third of adults said they had been splashed or scalded by hot drinks while dunking or trying to fish the remnants of a collapsed digestive. Presumably, "fish the remnants" can be interpreted as inserting one's forefinger down one's throat in an attempt to dislodge a stuck piece. It also revealed 28 per cent had choked on crumbs while one in 10 had broken a tooth or filling biting a biscuit.

Now here's the big reveal: three per cent had poked themselves in the eye with a biscuit and seven per cent bitten by a pet or "other wild animal" trying to get their biscuit.

And you thought cookies were a safe food.

Coffee drinking a possible link to the dearly departed

Is there no end to all the new scientific data and findings that is supposed to improve but ultimately affect our every-day lives?

If you're a big-time coffee drinker, have you hallucinated lately or been visited by the dearly departed? According to a report, you might.

Seems that scientists at Durham University have linked too much coffee and caffeine in particular, to - well - seeing dead people. Seriously.

Actually- and why am I not surprised - the initial findings were discovered by UK researchers who seem to have access to funds for "interesting" projects. According to the research and of course it's not conclusive but enough to make coffee drinkers a little edgy, people who drink too much coffee could - notice the word could - start seeing ghosts or hearing strange voices.

People who drank more than seven cups of instant coffee a day were three times more likely to hallucinate or hear people speak when nobody was around, compared to low caffeine users, defined as drinking less than the equivalent of one cup of java per day. However, academics say the findings do not prove a "causal link".

Among the experiences reported were seeing things that were not there, hearing voices, and sensing the presence of dead people. Instead of gazing into a crystal ball or joining hands in a seance, perhaps participants should consider drinking a lot of coffee instead. Much simpler.

Presumably sensing there could be a sudden decrease in coffee sales, a Dr. Euan Paul of the British Coffee Association stressed that the study focused strictly on people with a very high caffeine intake. For the record herbal tea drinkers were not included but most likely, there will be yet more statistics that herbal tea causes visions of Elvis.