A SLIPPERY SITUATION

Did I mention that I hate winter?

Living in eastern Canada where winter seems to last nine months of the year and summer for one week, weather is an important topic. In addition to a fair amount of snow we also get days of freezing rain, where sidewalks become treacherous and un-navigatable. It is at this point that Quebecers depend on the kindess of the Public Works department or 'PW's' as I call them, to come to the rescue. In theory they should be salting streets and sidewalks once the storm has passed, but the reality is that citizens have to wait...and wait...and wait.

Last week was a perfect example of such a slippery situation. The temperature rose above-normal for this time of the year, causing a quick melt down followed by what the media called "a flash freeze." The end result were streets and sidewalks so icy that the ice shows could have used them for practice. Cars travelled at a snails pace barely able to stay in their lane and walking was next to impossible.

The 'PW's' for their part spread de-icer products at busy intersections, period, but no sand or salt for sidewalks or local streets. Pity the poor pooches out with their owners trying to make their way along the sidewalk while looking for a place to pee. Let's just say that it wasn't a good idea to get too close to anything metal like a pole.

As a law-abiding citizen there came a time when the 'PW's' had to be notified and reminded who pays their salaries. The conversation went something like this:

ME
Hello? Is this Public Works who is supposed to take care of public roads?

THEM
Um...yes. Depends what you're talking about

ME
Exactly what I said. Are you or are you not taking care of our roads?

THEM
We handle the complaints

ME
I'd like to complain - and then some

THEM
Is there a problem?

ME
It's about the lack of sanding or salting the streets

THEM
Where do you live?

ME
blank-blank...(provided them with address)

THEM
Oh we salted/sanded there

ME
Oh really? How come I can ice skate in front of my house?

THEM
You went ice skating on the street?

ME
No...but I could have!

THEM
So what's the problem?

ME
No sand. No de-icer. Nothing. Rien. Nada.

THEM
Uh-huh. I'll have the supervisor call you back.

ME
What the hell good will that do? Is he or she gonna come salt the streets?

THEM
Well...no, but someone will call you back!

ME
What about salting or sanding?

THEM
Um... Someone will call you back. Here is your file number

Silly me assuming that being given a file number meant things would get moving, however, I planned my conversation with the supervisor.

I waited and waited and then I waited some more and nobody called back. Undaunted, I called them back. After all - didn't I have a file number, now?

ME
Hello. My file number is blank-blank. I called yesterday to complain about the lack of sanding or...

THEM
Your file number?

ME
Blank-blank...

THEM
Are you the resident living at blank-blank on blank-blank street?

ME
Yes. That would be me. Listen...there has still been no salting or sanding on the street

THEM
You have to understand that our policy is to sand corners and intersections first

ME
What about in front of homes? Don't they count?

THEM
Eventually but we adhere to the policy manual

ME
How do you change the policy, one asks knowing darn well what you're gonna say

THEM
Oh you have to have the bylaw changed and that will require a meeting by local council members and...

ME
I get the picture. You know what? I give up. I'll just wait until Spring until the weather gets milder and then - presto! - my problem will disappear just like the ice.

And then I hung up.

In their defence they did come, eventually, three days later when the temperature went above normal, again. At that point they brought out the big snow clearing equipment, snow blowers and little side walk sanders.