by Eleanor Tylbor
Perhaps he means well but somehow changing one's name to "In God We Trust" is bound to have interesting or at least humorous results. If the court allows him to do this.
Steve Kreuscher wants a judge to allow him to legally change his name. He wants to be known as "In God We Trust." Kreuscher says the new name would symbolize the help God gave him through tough times. The 57-year-old man also says he's worried that atheists may succeed in removing the phrase "In God We Trust" from U.S. currency. He recalls that the phrase "God Reigns" was removed from the Zion city seal in 1992 after Illinois courts deemed it unconstitutional. Zion was founded as a theocracy - by a sect that believed the Earth was flat. The school bus driver and amateur artist in the northern Chicago suburb says he has filed a petition to change his name in Lake County Circuit Court.
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Steve Kreuscher wants a judge to allow him to legally change his name. He wants to be known as "In God We Trust." Kreuscher says the new name would symbolize the help God gave him through tough times. The 57-year-old man also says he's worried that atheists may succeed in removing the phrase "In God We Trust" from U.S. currency. He recalls that the phrase "God Reigns" was removed from the Zion city seal in 1992 after Illinois courts deemed it unconstitutional. Zion was founded as a theocracy - by a sect that believed the Earth was flat. The school bus driver and amateur artist in the northern Chicago suburb says he has filed a petition to change his name in Lake County Circuit Court.
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So let's say... this man or another man is allowed to change his name to In God We Trust.
Let's say... it's time for him to sign his signature.
MAN IN GOD WE TRUST
(paying for food at restaurant)
Do you take major credit cards?
WAITER
Of course, sir
IGWT
Okay...here. Take this one(waiter walks away examining credit card. Returns a few minutes later)
WAITER
Um... Sir... We seem to have a problem here
IGWT
Oh? Did I put the wrong amount or something?
WAITER
That's fine. Um... It's about your signature?
IGWT
What about it?
WAITER
You signed the motto written on a coin. I'm sure it was a mistake
IGWT
Not!
WAITER
We require a real name, sir.
IGWT
In God We Trust!
WAITER
I'm sure you do - we all do, sir. However, we need a real name
IGWT
That is my real name
(Manager joins him)
MANAGER
Is there a problem here?
IGWT
Your waiter won't accept my credit card!
MANAGER
That's right. I told him not to! Sir - we need a name. A real name! Not a political statement or something... In God We Trust cannot in any way be considered a name. So if you'll just show us some other piece of identification...
IGWT
All my identification has In God We Trust. Do you believe in God?
MANAGER
What's that have to do with anything?
IGWT
Well - do you?
MANAGER
My personal beliefs have nothing to do with the present situation at hand. How about paying with some cold cash, instead?IGWTSee? It's your "who cares" attitude that could cause "In God We Trust" to be removed from our coins!
MANAGER
So you admit that's not your real name! I knew it!
IGWT
I beg your pardon! FYI - that IS my legal name! Here... I'll show you my driver's license...and my vehicle registration...
MANAGER
(reading pieces of identification)
Well, I thought I've seen it all! Forgive me sir. I was wrong and you're right! However, you must admit that this is a bit unusual
IGWT
Let's just say it's my own personal political statementMANAGERFine with me. Now if you'll just sign the bill here... I can't seem to read your second name.
IGWT
E Pluribus Unum. Is there a problem?
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