Monday, November 30, 2009

Expert wanted to study lap dancers - any takers?

Looking for a challenge that offers a reward, which money alone can't compensate? The Leeds University may be the right place to end your job search since it is seeking out - wait for it - a researcher to study lap dancing.

No printing error and to add icing on the cake the position pays in the area £31,000-a-year.

Persons interested in applying should be aware that this interesting position posted by the School of Sociology and Social Policy (go figure!) is for:

"Research Officer - The rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the night time economy".

Academics do tend to use such fancy words for basically a person to watch lap dancing and take notes.

The Government-funded position(!) will see the successful applicant interview 300 lap dancers in in two northern English towns.

The study, which comes with a salary of £31,513 to be exact, is aimed at finding out who becomes lap dancers and what their working conditions are like, as well as how the number of bars have multiplied.

The ad stipulates the successful applicant will need to have "prior experience of conducting research in the female sex industry".

But Susie Squire, political director at the TaxPayers' Alliance, complained: "This is the ultimate non-job and will both anger and bemuse taxpayers.

"It may be a dream job for some men, but it's just another nightmare of public sector waste for the ordinary people who pay for it."


Saturday, November 28, 2009

I'm a Twit - you're a twit -we're all a-Twitter!

Some thoughts about Twitter. My motivation for signing up was because – well – it seemed like the logical thing to do since the hot and not-so-hot celebrities are there. The idea in as far as I can tell, is to follow people in the hope that they will follow back.


So that you can accumulate “followers” and increase your numbers – in the numerical sense of course. Why increase your followers? Not quite sure but presumably this has boasting rights i.e. “I have 20,000 followers and I’m popular as you can tell!” Judging by some of the requests to follow me, a lot of the Twitter-ites – I like to call them Twits – use the service as a means to promote their latest book releases, business, services. In fact I have to confess that I have rejected the friendship of people willing to perform live on web cam, sell me a service that is overtly financially favourable to them solely.

A really annoying factor on a personal level is the limitation of bytes allowable to make a statement. The real concept behind Twitter is to communicate a logical thought by texting from wherever the Twit is located i.e. bus, bathroom, movie theatre, dentist’s office, giving birth, etc. etc. using abbreviations. Something to the effect:

“Drnkg cafe @ frnds hse” or “Shpg @ Wlmrt” or “’m givg birth – fckg (universally known and recognized bad word) pain!” – the challenge is to communicate without getting the dreaded Twitter red minus sign indicating exceeding the byte allotment, which means a complete revision of the sentence/thought to avoid its re-appearance. Being a Twit ain’t easy!

Actually, in its favour, Twitter has brought me close to some celebrities in the cyber sense. Now me and Yoko Ono are friends, she told me so in a personal tweet, in addition to David Peck who stars on the TV show, “V” and my biggest celebrity friend, Gov. Arnold Schwarzneggar, who updates me regularly about California even though I live in Canada, and I'm receiving spiritual advice from Deepak Chopra. Also following me because I follow them is Fawlty Towers DVD, OK Magazine, the Rock of Ages musical (because I’m dying to see it!)...and so many other interesting whoevers and whatevers! Where else could we have a brush with almost-fame but by being Twits? Not to be overlooked are the people who want to make me rich if I invest more than Twitter updates with them.

Let’s follow each other. I mean, don’cha wannna make more friends? I can be found as scriberess. You twit me and I’ll twit you back. Maybe.

Friday, November 27, 2009

And now a Christmas gift for that person who has everything

For people searching for that special holiday gift that says you think about her/him need look no further. Diamonds are a natural resource that is always a nice - and expensive - gift. There are other less costly and natural down-to-earth jewelry pieces that are now available for purchase from a zoo no less.

Seems that a group of creative "gemologists" at the Miller Park Zoo in Bloomington, Illinois, have come up with a unique gift currently on sale at a fraction of the price of diamonds, in the form of dried reindeer droppings. You read it right: reindeer droppings.

The jewelry joins the very popular reindeer dropping Christmas ornaments that were a huge hit with the public last year. These limited-edition Magical Reindeer Gem necklaces are currently available for $15 each at the gift shop, 1020 S. Morris Ave., or for $20 by mail.

Last year, volunteers dehydrated and sterilized piles of the dime-sized dung, then spray-painted them with glitter and strung them on wire with beads to create “Magical Reindeer Gems."

Hmmmm... No mention of odor...

According to the news release, 2,000 ornaments and 100 necklaces are available so act soon. More information regarding the zoo and the origin of the poop necklaces or reindeer gem ornaments as they call them:

The zoo’s $1.3 million budget was cut by about $200,000 this year as part of the city’s efforts to balance its $77 million general operating budget

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Santa Claus group demanding priority for flu shots

Gimme a break in the true sense of the word!

What is happening to Santa and his Christmas spirit? Seems that a group of Santas is demanding because they seem to believe it's due to them, priority in as far as receiving flu shots.

The group - the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas even held a seminar on the virus at a recent conference in Philadelphia.

What next? How to appear non-threatening to children and wear a face mask 101?

AORBS - that's them - is now lobbying for its members to be put on the much sought after swine flu vaccination priority list.

Group President, one Nicholas Trolli, said the campaign was "not so much to protect the Santa, but to help protect the public".

"I have heard across the country numerous Santas who have actually had the swine flu, but I have not heard reports back of any of our Santas being able to get the swine flu shot as of yet," he said.

The group also urged its members to use a hand sanitizer and take vitamins to boost their immune systems - and urged parents will keep sick kids away.

"If you contact AORBS, we will do our best to get a Santa to come to your home so you won't be exposing other children," Mr Trolli said.

The rival Santa America group is also calling for Santa Claus be made a priority group for the swine flu vaccine - much like health care workers.

Next thing you know, a group representing reindeer will demand that they be put on the priority list because they're close to Santa. No mention as to whether the Mrs. Claus's are demanding equal representation...elves... It just never ends.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Ho-no! Santa and elves are not amused!

A long time Christmas favorite could be on its way out - key word 'could' - if the U.S. Postal Service holds fast to its initial decision to prevent Santa from answering his mail. Not just any mail but personal letters mailed to him at his home in North Pole, Alaska, specificing desired gifts or favors that only Santa can bestow.

The heart of the matter goes back a year when a postal worker in Maryland recognized an Operation Santa volunteer as a registered sex offender and intervened to ensure that no childern ever received any mail. Henceforth, the Postal Service made the decision to tighten the rules, which included the letter to and from Santa program.

Expectedly, people living in the town of North Pole (most likely including some of Santa's helpers)are incensed with the unpopular changes, since the letter program is

People in North Pole are incensed with the change being that it's a revered holiday tradition where light posts are curved and striped like candy canes and streets have names such as Kris Kringle Drive and Santa Claus Lane. Volunteers in the letter program even sign the response letters as Santa’s elves and helpers.

Aw.... That's merry and Christmas-like!

Anyway, the Mayor of North Pole, one Doug Isaacson understands the cautionary move but is incensed that his program should be eliminiated due to a sex offender's action on the East Coast.

Losing the Santa-letter title is a blow to the community of 2,100 people, who pride themselves on their Christmas ties. Huge tourist attractions here include an everything-Christmas store, Santa Claus House, and the post office, where visitors can get a hand-stamped postmark on their postcards and packages if they ask for it.

Santa Claus House, built like a Swiss chalet and chock full of all items Christmas, sells more than 100,000 letters from Santa and one of the lures is the postmark.

Being that this is the season for good turnarounds, there's word that volunteers living in the town have met with U.S. Postal Service officials in an attempt to work out a means in which kiddie's letters to Santa can still be sent to the town.

Children can only hope. And so can the parents.

Here's the home page for North Pole, Alaska:


Most likely due to strong public outcry, the powers-that-be have decided to re-instate Santa and his letters.

"This decision today by the Postal Service brings the Christmas spirit back to Alaska," Republican Sen. Lisa Murkowski said.