Friday, April 13, 2012

Runaway cow gets movie deal and other assorted animal tales

As aspiring actors will attest, it's not easy to become a s*t*a*r* and some never attain this status, however a non-human has managed to do just that.

Last May, Yvonne, a plucky (can one call a cow plucky, one wonders) cow decided for whatever reason to explore the world by breaking through an electronic fence that surrounded a farm in the Bavarian town of Muehldorf. She lived off the land for three whole months most likely nibbling on grass and chewing her cud since this is what cows generally do during a large portion if not all their life, until she crossed the path (or road as the case may be) of a police car. She was deemed and/or classified a security risk(?) and hunters were given the okay to - well - gun her down. One can only assume that the thinking here was: car+cow=big dents, hence, the decision to shoot and ask questions later. Still, it strikes me as a little over-the-top.

In any case, after numerous attempts to rope her in and to lure her back to the farm-yard using her calf as an enticement to return, plus a love interest in the form of a breeding bull named Ernst, Yvonne was finally captured after receiving a double dose of tranquilizers. At least it was a happier ending than staring at the end of a gun.

Yvonne's disapearance, which caught the imagination of the public, has inspired the production of an animated film entitled aptly, "Cow on the Run" produced by Muncih film company, Papa Loewe and produced by Max Howard, a U.S. film producer whose impressive credits include, "The Lion King". Word has it that romance will be part of the story line with the cow falling in love with a buck. A buck? Hmmmm...

When asked her feelings about the film project, Yvonne wasn't that moooo-ved reports indicate.

"It's a cow-culated move to make a buck on my adventure," she was reported to have commented. "What will I get out of it? Veal-y - it's not fair. I have a steak in the project!"

At least that's what I hear she allegedly mooed. Nudge-nudge...wink-wink.

How utterly senseless and futile - Henri, le chat, is bored with his perfect but empty life

Henri le chat, a French cat with an attitude, is consumed with angst. Why you might well ask? He really doesn't know but he expresses his bored feelings as only a cat could or can, in French (with the help of English subtitles) on YouTube. In the video, he explains that although he lives a life of luxury, it has no meaning.

"I feel empty," he mews in the film. "If my tail wags, it's only a reflex action..."

Share Henri's existential angst:
and further meanderings in part two featuring more complaints:

Maybe his owner can give him a dose of catnip or something to elevate his mood. Just saying...

Hamster returns from the dead

This is the type of story that can make you think twice when burying a pet. A pet hampster known as Rhino, but re-named Jesus for obvious reasons, was buried after being found, for all intents and purposes, dead in its cage. Dead as in rigor mortis set in. He was subsequently buried in a two-foot grave in the owner's garden and they assumed that was the end of the hamster's life span. However, much to the owner's shock and surprise, he received a call from a neighbor informing the owner that his once-and presumed-dead hamster had escaped and was running around the garden. One wonders how the neighbor recognized the hampster as Rhino/Jesus and not another lost hampster on the loose. But I digress. After checking things out, they discovered that the hamster had indeed clawed its way out of the grave and was back in the land of the living.

The family considers it a Easter miracle and hence (one assumes), the name change. Here's a picture of Rhino/Jesus here:

He is a cutie.

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