Monday, April 23, 2012

"X-Factor USA" invited me to audition - I'm ready for my close up

Opening my e-mail today, I was greeted  with an invitation by X-Factor (USA) to become part of the show. Sort-of... It wasn't exactly a personal invitation but an invite is an invite is an invite... I takes it as I gets it. Last year readers of this blog may recall that just before "X-Factor" premiered, Simon Cowell no less, sent me an e-mail informing me about the day and time the show would air.

That Simon - so considerate!

Really, given Simon's note to me, the informative update should have come as no surprise.

"Hello!" the e-mail blurb opened up, followed by, "THE WORLD'S ONLY $5 MILLION AUDITION IS BACK!"

There is something about seeing "$5 million dollars" as a great attention-getter. Let's be honest: five million buck-a-roonies can  buy a lot of attention - and pretty things. Right?

"THE X FACTOR is searching for America's best undiscovered talent," the information blurb continued.

This was the perfect description of my talent so I knew it was directed at me personally.

"If you are a solo artist or vocal group and are ages 12 and up, you can audition for Season 2 of THE X FACTOR."

I would classify myself as a solo artist and to date, a shower singer having never gone public. Still more people would say that this is a good thing. Friends who have heard my version of "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman" have told me that my voice makes them cry.

"If you, or any of your friends have THE X FACTOR go to to sign-up and get audition details and eligibility requirements NOW!" but a cyber click to the site revaled that it was out-of-date, with Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger still listed as judges. Anybody who keeps up with show-biz chatter are aware that the pair were ousted last season. Kind of surprising.

There could be one deterrent, though, to my being discovered. Being Canadian and all, most likely my geographical location will make me/us inelligible. Oh well - their loss. Some of my friends and family members would say their luck.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Who are you following and who's following you?

Don't get me wrong - like many people world over - I like Twitter. Sometimes. On occasion. In reading this be prepared for yet another Twitter- follower-rant.

"Losing a few followers, are we, Eleanor?"

For the record, I rarely drop Twitter followers because it strikes me as un unfair action. In my eyes, making the decision to follow someone is a commitment. It is for this very reason that they remain part of my "following" count unless they start making socially unacceptable tweets or use it as a tool for blatant self-promotion. Following someone is akin to a social network responsibility. However...

Today my "blah-blah is following you" count dropped by one. In the big scheme of things, it's a small number but this leads me to wonder the reason for making this decision and a cause for further speculation. Adding a newbie to my following count is usually related to my interests in some way or sparks my interest enough to be placed in the "following" list. However...

I'm wondering if I committed a social faux-pas or slight. Were my tweets or updates perhaps too boring, maybe... Or...perhaps, and this is always a dilemma, somebody who followed me wasn't followed back by yours truly. That can cause angst. I mean, although interested in good restaurants and their menus for example, being located geographically on another part of planet earth means chances are I won't be sampling a menu since I'm not an international jet-setter. Then again I suppose, one never knows... A bakery in Brooklyn, New York for example, is (or was - haven't checked lately) a follower and checking out their advertised baked goodies made me salivate. Being that I enjoy visting NYC, I just may check them out. I mean, it's only polite. Right?

Still, I'm pondering the decision made by somebody/people to un-follow me and why. Perhaps Twitter could offer followers the option of  listing the reason for un-following a Twit...I mean, Twitter follower.
Something to the effect: "Please be advised that blah-blah dropped you today." I mean, one dropped follower deserves another, don't you think?

Friday, April 13, 2012

Runaway cow gets movie deal and other assorted animal tales

As aspiring actors will attest, it's not easy to become a s*t*a*r* and some never attain this status, however a non-human has managed to do just that.

Last May, Yvonne, a plucky (can one call a cow plucky, one wonders) cow decided for whatever reason to explore the world by breaking through an electronic fence that surrounded a farm in the Bavarian town of Muehldorf. She lived off the land for three whole months most likely nibbling on grass and chewing her cud since this is what cows generally do during a large portion if not all their life, until she crossed the path (or road as the case may be) of a police car. She was deemed and/or classified a security risk(?) and hunters were given the okay to - well - gun her down. One can only assume that the thinking here was: car+cow=big dents, hence, the decision to shoot and ask questions later. Still, it strikes me as a little over-the-top.

In any case, after numerous attempts to rope her in and to lure her back to the farm-yard using her calf as an enticement to return, plus a love interest in the form of a breeding bull named Ernst, Yvonne was finally captured after receiving a double dose of tranquilizers. At least it was a happier ending than staring at the end of a gun.

Yvonne's disapearance, which caught the imagination of the public, has inspired the production of an animated film entitled aptly, "Cow on the Run" produced by Muncih film company, Papa Loewe and produced by Max Howard, a U.S. film producer whose impressive credits include, "The Lion King". Word has it that romance will be part of the story line with the cow falling in love with a buck. A buck? Hmmmm...

When asked her feelings about the film project, Yvonne wasn't that moooo-ved reports indicate.

"It's a cow-culated move to make a buck on my adventure," she was reported to have commented. "What will I get out of it? Veal-y - it's not fair. I have a steak in the project!"

At least that's what I hear she allegedly mooed. Nudge-nudge...wink-wink.

How utterly senseless and futile - Henri, le chat, is bored with his perfect but empty life

Henri le chat, a French cat with an attitude, is consumed with angst. Why you might well ask? He really doesn't know but he expresses his bored feelings as only a cat could or can, in French (with the help of English subtitles) on YouTube. In the video, he explains that although he lives a life of luxury, it has no meaning.

"I feel empty," he mews in the film. "If my tail wags, it's only a reflex action..."

Share Henri's existential angst:
and further meanderings in part two featuring more complaints:

Maybe his owner can give him a dose of catnip or something to elevate his mood. Just saying...

Hamster returns from the dead

This is the type of story that can make you think twice when burying a pet. A pet hampster known as Rhino, but re-named Jesus for obvious reasons, was buried after being found, for all intents and purposes, dead in its cage. Dead as in rigor mortis set in. He was subsequently buried in a two-foot grave in the owner's garden and they assumed that was the end of the hamster's life span. However, much to the owner's shock and surprise, he received a call from a neighbor informing the owner that his once-and presumed-dead hamster had escaped and was running around the garden. One wonders how the neighbor recognized the hampster as Rhino/Jesus and not another lost hampster on the loose. But I digress. After checking things out, they discovered that the hamster had indeed clawed its way out of the grave and was back in the land of the living.

The family considers it a Easter miracle and hence (one assumes), the name change. Here's a picture of Rhino/Jesus here:

He is a cutie.