Right now as many holiday shoppers are shaking their heads in trepidation at the cost of buying and finding those unique gifts for the special people in their lives, a solution could be at hand within the lines of a well-known song. The song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas" contains a plethora (love that word!) of options for people who want to be different when it comes to gifting for their true loves.
PNC Wealth Management has released a list of what it would cost gift purchasers to duplicate the contents of the 12 days in 2013.
- a/one partridge in a pear tree: $199.
About this type of arrangement, why would a partridge want to live in a pear tree, anyway? Why not on the ground where there is food aplenty? According to the RSPB, Royal Society for the Protection of Birds, who should know about partridges, partridges are ground birds and "never likely to be found in a pear tree." Be that as it may and going by romantic advice offered in the song, what about winter arrangements when the snow falls and covers the pear tree and the bird? A contingency arrangement would have to be made to build a shelter or perhaps keep the tree indoors in the garage. Then there's the issue of having to clean the feathers... But I digress.
- two turtle doves: $125
Definitely for the bird aficionado and the romantics who enjoy listening to their never-ending coo-coo...coo...which can drive a person cuckoo after while
- three French hens: $165
Just wondering why French hens, anyway, and not, say, North American species? According to Wiki, "The Faverolles is a French breed of chicken. The breed was developed in the 1860s in north-central France, in the vicinity of the villages of Houdan and Faverolles. The breed was given the name of the latter village and, therefore, the singular is also Faverolles, not Faverolle. ..." Do they crow with a French accent, one wonders. My advice to hen buyers is buy local. But I digress...again.
- four calling birds (do they use cell phones, one ponders once more): $599.96
According to www.1000birds.com, calling birds are actually "colly birds" or in Britain where the song originated, black birds. Perhaps further thought is in order when gifting a true love with your everyday, common blackbird, even they are an interesting specie. I mean, what would one do with four blackbirds hanging around the house, although they could be used as a one-up to friends:
"Hi blah-blah. Guess what my true love gave me. Four blackbirds. Want one?" You get the idea.
- five gold rings (no indication of the number of carats) $750.
Jewelry is always a favorite and five gold rings especially with a/some big diamond(s) is always a welcome and nice gift.
- six geese a laying: $210
As in geese in the act of laying eggs or perhaps merely hanging out and laying around in the sun on a river bank - or perhaps given that it's the holiday season, nicely browned on a platter along with roast potatoes and veggies...
- seven swans a swimming: $7,000
In checking out the price per swan, swans are definitely on the luxurious side and go anywhere from $1,040 for your white mute swans up to $3,770 for your coscoroba swan, according to www.purepoultry.com. Presumably - pure speculation on my part - they would be purchased for the person who owns a pond or at the very minimum, a private pool specifically for them. I mean, one wouldn't want to swim in a pool where geese have...well...you know... But I digress - once again.
Moving right along...
- eight maids-a-milking: $58
Although this has a religious connotation and as an aside, e-Bay has Limoges plates with images of 8 milking maids beginning at $15. Just thought people who want to duplicate the twelve day milk maids concept would want to know. It's easier to find a plate than eight hard-working maids who would want to give up some spare time milking cows.
- nine ladies dancing (per performance): $7,552.84
Perhaps - once more pure speculation on my part (big on speculating) - this could be referring to a chorus line - maybe even the Radio City Rockettes - who could visit the recipient at home and entertain. Imagine the impact of having a chorus line show up at a house party.
"Oh look, Felicia! Blah-blah has a chorus line to entertain us! How different- and they keep in step!"
For those on a budget, nine dancing ladies could most likely be hired at a cheaper rate from a local dance school, where they might be convinced to throw in a few lessons.
- ten lords-a-leaping: $$13,373.35
Another expensive acquisition. The big question and issue here is how to convince a lord to assume the role of Christmas gift and one that would agree to leap is another issue altogether.
"Hello Lord Blah-blah? I have a favor to ask of you. Could you and some of your lord friends hop a plane and fly over to (insert geographical location) and do some un-lordly leaping around?"
No wonder the cost is so high what with the cost of plane travel, accommodations and then then the actual performance, not to mention health insurance to cover leap-related accidents.
- twelve drummers drumming: $2,855
Prices for the 12 day gifts have gone up as is the case with most items these days. Then again and given the total cost being $39,762.61, maybe your true love would settle for a one of. It's worth a shot.