Another addition to the family for Brad and Angelina

As part of their hourly commitment to each other, Brad Pitt and Angelina Joli have adopted celebrity, Paris Hilton.

"We've always felt that she needed guidance," Brad explained to Access Hollywood host, Nancy O'Dell. "Who better than us?"

The pair, through a mutually-acceptable representative, approached Hilton a month ago about the possibility of adoption. Although unreceptive initially, she relented last week and moved in after assurances that a house would be built specifically to accommodate her wardrobe.

"We love children and Paris is just a big, old overgrown kid," Pitt said. "Part of our house rules are that she has to text us which clubs she's at."

"Whatever he says," Angelina added, staring romantically in Brad's eyes. "I love it when he's so masterful!"

"We'll always have Paris," Brad said stroking Angelina's head.


HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!

When it comes to politics, Paris Hilton is not amused

Humor is subjective in that what amuses one person, will be considered offensive to another. In the world of politics it appears everyone is fair game, especially if you're a rich and high profile celeb who usually loves the limelight, like Paris Hilton.

Seems that Paris's feelings were hurt since her image was used along with Britney Spears who is also no stranger to media attention, in an ad by the McCain team.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_Za-Mx1y3A

Being Paris and all, she has created her own video in the way of a response: "an ad for the Presidential Campaign. Paid for by Funny or Die."

Actually, it's very entertaining - and funny -and maybe Paris should consider giving up her so-called show-biz aspirations and consider a change to a political career. Here's what she had to say:

http://www.funnyordie.com/

Scary thought. Given her access to $$$, what happens if she does decide to go into politics - and succeeds!

WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS - SO SOLDIER SUES

Having the name Paris Hilton, and being in the spotlight, there's bound to be some negative reports off and on. That's life being Paris. However, being sued for being...Paris takes things to a whole new level.

The private claims that calling him Paris after the notorious heiress is “demeaning”.

Hylton, a chef with the Welsh Guards, is suing for race discrimination because he says other soldiers continued to call him “Paris”, even though officers ordered them to stop. His solicitor even wrote to Prince Charles, who is Colonel of the Welsh Guards, urging him to step down after letters to the regiment’s commanding officer detailing the allegations went unanswered.

Hylton, 33, says he finds the nickname offensive because he considers Paris Hilton – the wayward socialite belonging to the hotel dynasty – is “a white woman with a low reputation”.
He also claims that he was repeatedly called a string of racist names at his barracks in Birdcage Walk close to Buckingham Palace.

Hylton’s wife and children were also allegedly left in fear after a hate campaign in which locks on the doors at their married quarters were repeatedly superglued shut. At one stage Hylton, who was born in Jamaica, complains that an NCO who racially abused him had also punched him, leaving him requiring hospital treatment.

But he claims in legal papers submitted to Central London Employment Tribunal, which will hear his case next month, that he was the one who was arrested – and military police recorded his name in statements as Paris Hilton.

Hylton, from Woolwich, south-east London, says his ordeal has forced him out of his £22,000-a-year post and he is due to leave the Army next month.

The private is demanding £50,000 compensation from the Ministry of Defence, which denies his allegations and is vigorously contesting the case.

A spokesman for Prince Charles declined to comment.

Paris will be poor...or at least 97% poorer


Oh dear. Seems that grandpa Hilton is very embarrassed by his granddaughter, Paris's behavior. You know - clubbing, drinking, sleeping around - the usual stuff that bored, rich heiresses do. To show his displeasure he has committed 97% of his fortune to a charitable foundation. Even then, I'm sure, the next generation of Hiltons has mucho money in their own right salted away somewhere where the tax people can't/won't ever find it.

As for Paris... Whatever happened to her self-proclaimed "I-see-the-light" change of consciousness that she had in jail? Did I say jail? You know that place where she was inconvenienced for a few days and didn't have access to the important things in her life like shopping, night clubs, jetting from country-to-country, posing for magazine covers. Those things. I mean, jail being so tacky and having to wear that vile orange-colored jump suit, she needed something substantial to cling to and found solace in the Bible. Not that there's anything wrong with that and the Good Book has a lot of good advice. Paris being Paris, the new-found spiritual enlightenment lasted maybe a month and then it was on to what Paris does best: clubbing and getting paid to show up at parties.

We all remember how she pledged to make our planet a better place and vowed upon her release to help the less fortunate around the world. Course 'less fortunate' in Paris's mind could have been people who didn't know how to coordinate their clothes properly. Somebody has to tell them!

Anyway, when asked for comments about her grandfather's decision, she hasn't as yet said anything. And when and if she does, for sure it will be something really important like, "did I tell you all about my new line of perfume?" Or "do you know anybody that wants to be my boyfriend?"

Good for Grandpa Hilton!

PARIS FOLLOW-UP...THE BECKHAMS ARRIVE..."LITTLE BRITAIN" - U.S. STYLE

Just when the world assumed or hoped, anyway, that they had heard the last of or at the very least had a rest from Paris Hilton, now comes word that she's being investigated for having special privileges during her stint behind bars...or the equivalent.

Seems that the Los Angeles County Sherriff's Department has opened an investigation to determine whether she received special treatment. To quote Homer Simpson: "doh!"

The internal investation will determine - wait for it - whether the heiress had access to a cell phone when all the other inmates had to wait in line to use your regular pay phones. As if this isn't bad enough they will also be looking into whether she was given a new jail uniform instead of a recycled one like most of the other inmates. Last but not least, they will be looking into whether she had her mail delivered by a captain given that most mail is delivered by inmate trusties.

Such crucial issues!


U.S. VERSION OF "LITTLE BRITAIN" COMING TO TV SCREENS

As an occasional viewer of the British comedy series, "Little Britain", which can definitely be described as naughty bordering on dirty, it comes as a surprise that there are plans to bring the series to this side of the ocean. The series that created the characters Vicky Pollard and "I'm the only gay in the village" Daffyd famous, will feature a mix of existing characters from their BBC shows and new ones who will depict contemporary America.

The series will be shows on HBO and actors Matt Lucas and David Williams will make it viewable for U.S. audiences in fall 2008.

source: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/television/news/e3i1d96f56a2f843689bdac29b52238ecb4


DAVID BEKHAM AND POSH SPICE TODAYS CELEBRITIES OF THE HOUR?

Since the arrival of Posh Spice and her (more famous?) soccer star husband, David Bekham, it's been non-stop photos of the couple who have arrived on this side of the pond. He's here to play for his new team, The Galaxy, while Posh plays...herself in a special about...Posh, "Victoria Bekham: Coming to America" and part of the Spice Girls reunion tour.


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SHE'S OUUUUUUT! PARIS & LARRY KING: THE INTERVIEW?

At time of writing - afternoon - Paris Hilton, she of the "orange-is-so-tacky" will be giving her first (but probably not last) interview with CNN's Larry King tonight. Guaranteed Larry will be asking her the really tough questions that he is known for, perhaps something like this:

"So Paris - tell us the truth. We heard you were constipated due to the lack of a balanced diet in jail. Is this true and if so, who do you blame?"

And she will answer:"Well Garry..."

"That would be Larry..."

"Oh yeah. All those names sound alike. Like I told all you media people, I've seen the light. Gawd - how could I miss it being on day and night and night and day..."

"Your diet, Paris?"

"Oh yeah. Well...um... Where was I? Where's my good book?"

"You mean your Bible?"

"No silly man! I mean, my black book full of phone numbers of my friends!"

"Now about the prison food?"

"Well Harry..."

"Larry...Larry! My name is Larry!"

"Yeah. Whatever... The food was blechy. Really blechy. Actually, it was the presentation that spoiled it all. My daddy - he's very rich y'know - my daddy always tells his chefs that presentation is everything. I mean, macaroni can look so much better when you - um - something like that. They should hire me! Maybe I can start a new career!"

"So Paris - the whole wide world - is waiting to know about the constipation issue. Were you or weren't you?"

"Excuse me camera people - are you getting my best side? Were I or weren't I what?"

"Oh Paris - you're a real riot, girl! Constipated!"

"Constipated? What does that mean? Why don't we stick to the important questions like my new hair shade. D'ya like it, Barry?"

"It's Larry, Paris!"

"Ohmygawd! You have the same last name as my first name! Isn't that like...so funny? Maybe we're related! Do you own any Hilton hotels? Are you sure you people are catching my best side?

Something like that.

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PARIS HILTON DAILY UPDATE: PARIS CALLS BARBARA WALTERS

Hmmm... Don't quite know what to make of this. Perhaps an attempt at trying to re-build her credibility?

Seems that Paris H. was able to phone ABC's Barbara Walters, she of "The View" to discuss...stuff and presumably her current incarceration.

"I used to act dumb," she told Walters in the exclusive phone conversation. "That act is no longer cute. Now, I would like to make a difference. ... God has given me this new chance."

Um...used to act? I really must curb my tendency to be saracastic and cynical because it's obvious that Paris is trying to turn over a new leaf and change her life because...because...she's seen the light. Actually, more than one light that will focus on her when she gets out of jail.

She went on about how horrific her experience in jail has been...about being and feeling depressed...and it generally being a horrible experience.

Duh...

It was a collect call and Walters agreed to accept the charges. Aw - that's like...so nice and generous of her!

Anyway, the interview will be on ABC's "The View" today if anybody is interested.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=3264588&page=1


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PARIS HILTON AND PUBLIC SYMPATHY

After a mere 24 hours more or less of serving out her jail sentence in her luxury estate, heiress Paris Hilton is back behind bars. Media reports indicate that she was hysterical and calling for her mother, as she was led out to a waiting police car that whisked her back to jail.

It will be interesting how this whole incident will play out with the public.

By the mere act of being Paris Hilton, party girl, international celebrity and rich heiress who appears to flaunt authority, public sympathy was not on her side on the onset. In a statement released before her initial incarceration, she appeared to accept the consequences of her action.

"During the past few weeks, I have had a lot of time to think and have come to realise I made some mistakes. This is an important point in my life and I need to take responsibility for my actions. In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make."

However a short time later reports began to circulate regarding her physical condition and it wasn't long before she was sent packing accompanied by an electronic bracelet to serve out her sentence at home in her mansion. Perhaps due to the public outcry focusing on celebrity justice and laws for the rich and the regular people, she was back in court and will have to serve her sentence behind bars.

Thing is...had she accepted the consequences of her action as she claimed initially to do and serve time behind bars, public sympathy would have been with her and she might even have emerged a hero of sorts. Once she defied traditional incarcertation, however, the public appeared to turn on her.

How she will be perceived by the public down the line will depend on the length of her stay in jail.

BTW - where are all her good friends and ex-boyfriends with whom she hangs out and accompany her on globe trotting jaunts, when she needs them? What about her ex-boyfriend? Guess she's as good as her last party.


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UH-OH...COULD BE TROUBLE ON THE HORIZON FOR PARIS!

Uh-oh...looks like Paris Hilton might have to trade in her designer duds for a no-name, run-of-the-mill orange jump suit with a number!

Having been released from jail on Thursday and now serving her "time" at home Los Angeles's top prosecutor, Rocky Delgadillo, is not a happy man. Seems he's quite upset with the county's sherriff decision to release Paris from serving time in prison and allowing her to wear an electronic ankle bracelet while - um - lounging around her humble abode watching TV...being served meals by servants, etc. etc. Seems that his office is of the opinion that her early release undermines his efforts to apply "equal justice."

A mere few hours after Paris Hilton was sent packing back to her mansion under house arrest, the judge who put her in jail ordered her back to court to decide whether she should go back behind bars. The judge in question, Michael T. Sauer issued his order after the city attorney filed a petition on Thursday afternoon, demanding to show cause why Sheriff Lee Baca should not be held in contempt of court for releasing Paris that morning, and demanding that she be retained in custody.

According to media reports she was released due to "medical condition(s)", which have reported to be a) a skin rash (pure speculation here but maybe they forgot to add fabric softener to the final wash) or b) psychological problems. One wonders how many other prisoners also experience psychological problems being incarcerated but don't get released with an electronic ankle bracelet.

Read more about her current legal problems here:http://www.montereyherald.com/ci_6082816?source=most_viewed

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PARIS HILTON NO LONGER BEHIND BARS - WHAT A SURPRISE!

Boy am I ever shocked! Paris Hilton, she of the "I-want-to-set-an-example-for-others" was released today after being in prison - in isolation no less away from life's 'undesirables' - for a mere 4 days.

According to media reports she was released due to medical problems. Hang nail springs to mind...or the emergence of a zit... Officially, she couldn't cope with it all.

Duh.

Perhaps and unknowingly, Paris has set a precedent and other prisoners will claim hardship and ask to be released early because they couldn't cope.

So now Paris is under house arrest for 40 days and has to wear an electronic bracelet that will monitor her movement. Law enforcement officials will know for example, when Paris relaxes and dines el fresco by her pool, and lounges in other rooms of her mansion.

It's a tough sentence but someone has to serve it! There is no information as to whether the bracelet in question came in a selection of colors and styles or designer models.

www.http://www.dailyherald.com/story.asp?id=320892

http://origin.mercurynews.com/breakingnews/ci_6082867


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PARIS HILTON BEHIND BARS...WELL...YEAH...KIND'A

So y'see...Paris Hilton, she of the girls-just-wanna-have-fun Hilton heiress, is in jail...in a manner of speaking. She showed up at a Los Angeles Country jail for a three week visit...that is to say, jail sentence for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

Although she was sentenced to 45 days behind bars, Paris is expected to serve only 23 days due to a state law requiring shorter sentences for good behavior.

Say what?

Good behavior? She violated probation on an alcohol related reckless driving charge and gets rewarded?

She is quoted as commenting: "I am trying to be strong right now," she told reporters on the red carpet. "I'm ready to face my sentence. Even though this is a really hard time, I have my family, my friends and my fans to support me, and that's really helpful."

"I'm really scared but I'm ready to do this," she added. "And I hope that I'm an example to other young people."

Again - say what?

The young heiress with lots of $$$ gets a reduced sentence and she wants to set and example?Her cell is located in a "special needs" unit separate from most of the 2,200 inmates. Why should we not be surprised? The unit contains 12 two-person cells reserved for police officers, public officials, celebrities and other high-profile inmates. She could have a cellmate. As is the case with other inmates in the unit, Paris will eat in her cell (no mention of the menu btw) and be allowed outside for at least an hour each day to shower, watch TV in the day room, participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone. No cell phones or BlackBerrys are permitted in the facility, even for visitors.

Read about Paris in jail here: http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=a0e110df-179e-480b-beed-7860c4132755

Comments anyone? Is Paris receiving priveleges not offered to "normals"?


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