Super Bowl is the Stupor Bowl as far as I'm concerned

This is another of my short and maybe not-so-sweet commentaries or rants, depending on whether or not the person reading this is a Super Bowl fan. For the record - I'm not. To clarify - I don't like football, period.

Every year at this time, football fans (and there are a lot of them) get all psyched up and excited in anticipation of a foot ball game. Not just any football game mind you, but the Super Bowl. To be perfectly candid, I wasn't aware of the teams involved and had to look up this information. For the record, it's the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers. Right? See? I know now!

Seems that part of the Super Bowl rite is for fans to get together at a friend's house to watch the game as a group, followed by an eating binge including favorites like pizza, chile, cold cuts, beer and a whole lot of other un-healthy but good-tasting stuff. Guessing because I've never attended one of these parties and most likely will never be asked, since my knowledge in football is minimal-to-nothing at best. Also, since I'm a relatively healthy eater and watch my weight, I would have to bring along my own food like a healthy salad or something similar. I mean, how would that go over with football fanatics?

'Oh look - that Eleanor who knows zip about football, brought along her own salad to make us look bad! Who invited her, anyway?'

People don't want people who aren't Super Bowl savvy around, especially if they ask questions like, what is a first down? Or why are the players so vicious towards each other? How else can we learn and now what all the excitement is about?

In any case, I'm hoping to watch those amazing and inventive and very entertaining half-time ads and entertainment that we Canadians don't get to see, because Canadians who are Super Bowl fans are only allowed to see boring and staid Canadian ads. After all - it's the Canadian way.

Two (or more) minutes of silence for Paul the octopus

Some people are suckers when it comes to betting on sports events and then along comes Paul the Octopus who had an uncanny ability to pick winners. Notice the usage of the past tense since Paul has gone on to meet - well - wherever octopuses or the scientifically correct, octopi, go when they pass on.

To many people, he looked like an ordinary octopus but Paul's special ability made him an instant celebrity. Born in January 2008 in Weymouth, England, he received the name, Paul the Psychic Octopus after being able to correctly predict the winners of last summer's World Cup.

According to reports, Paul passed away in his sleep in his tank from natural causes. There are people who aren't convinced he died under normal circumstances, and believe that Paul met with foul play. According to one Jiang Xiao, the director of a forthcoming thriller entitled Who Killed Paul the Octopus, she believes the superstar octopus had really been dead for the last three months. Furthermore, Jiang related to the Guardian Newspaper that she was "60 to 70% sure" Paul had died in July and been secretly replaced by his keepers. When pressed further to explain how the deception could have been perpetrated, Jiang explained that there could have been a switch since all ocotopuses (or octopi) look alike.

True but can all octopuses predict World Cup wins? Doubtful but then again nobody has ever tested the overall ability of octopi to see if they have any psychic abilities.

"We are consoled by the knowledge that he enjoyed a good life here and that the care provided him by our dedicated displays team could not have been bettered, Stefan Porwoll, manager of the Oberhausen Sea Life Center in Germany that housed Paul, commented.

Paul's method of predicting winners was simplicity personified. His caretakers at the Sea Life Centre placed a mussel in each of two clear plastic containers within his tank, and each container was marked with the flag of the competing soccer team. Paul always took his first mussel from the container bearing the flag of the team he "knew" or "sensed" would win.

There is no information regarding funeral arrangements or even if Paul had any siblings or next-of-kin. There is also no information as to whether any attempt to track any down will be made.

"We may decide to give Paul his own small burial plot within our grounds and erect a modest permanent shrine,” said Porwoll.

The aquarium realizing a good thing...that is to say, recognizing that octopuses have as yet undiscovered talent, is already grooming a successor also named Paul. Who knows - if Paul 11 proves to be as psychic as his predecessor, could a salmon or flounder be far behind? I mean, just saying...

Celine Dion to sing for hockey fans?

Quebec's (and the world depending on your view of her) very own chantoozy, Celine Dion, wants to own the Montreal Canadiens hockey club. To be more precise, Celine and her hubby, Rene Angelil.

Actually, Celine is one of a few group of interested/potential buyers but somehow her interest and possible ownership strikes me as funny. Then again, there are a lot of things strike me as funny... If she does acquire the team, does this mean hockey fans will be cursed.. that should read, treated to a selection of Dion songs during half-time?

Given her show-biz background and should she be successful, perhaps the Bell Centre, the Canadiens home arena, will be converted into a Vegas-style venue. Or they'll re-name it "The Celine Dion Hockey Arena for the Performing Arts or something like that.

The possibilities are endless...

I say - cricket origins might not be British

Exciting news regarding a report with new academic research claiming that cricket isn't English (gasp!) but imported from northern Belgium.

The basis for this conclusion was a poem thought to have been penned in 1533, suggesting that its humble beginnings were in Flanders. The word attributed to one John Skelton, Flemish weavers are labelled "kings of crekettes" challenging the assumption that the sport evolved from English children's games, according to Paul Campbell of the Australian National University.

King of crekettes? Perhaps - just perhaps - the term didn't refer to cricket but - wait for it - croquettes, the food! I mean, the Belgians are known for their waffles. Somehow, maybe there was a cross or mixup...

Anywaaaaay...to get back to this surprising discovery... The first references to cricket turned up in England in the 1600's when fines were given out for people who opted to play cricket and missed church. A game played by a lot of Englishmen ended up in public schools and the universities of Oxford and Cambridge in the following century. Furthermore, the first cricket club was formed in Hambledon in the 1760s and the Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) was founded in 1787.

So now we all know the British origin of cricket. However...

German academic Heiner Gillmeister and an Australian colleague, claim the discovery proves the quintessential English pastime is anything but English.

In an apparent reference to cricket in the 16th Century work, The Image of Ipocrisie, attributed to the English poet John Skelton, refers to Flemish weavers who settled in southern and eastern England described as "kings of crekettes."

Again? Perhaps these Flemish weavers enjoyed croquettes for lunch, but does that make the game Flemish?

The assumption is that the weavers brought the game to England and played it close to where they looked after their sheep, using shepherd's crooks as bats.

Or perhaps they used over-cooked croquettes as balls or something... Go know!

Research conducted by one Mr. Campell, was based on earlier investigations by German academic, Gillmeister, a linguist from the University of Bonn, who believes that cricket couldn't have originated in England.

"There is no way to relate the term to any existing English word," he told the BBC.
"I was brought up with Flemish children and I know the language well. I immediately thought of the Flemish phrase 'met de krik ketsen' which means to 'chase a ball with a curved stick'."
In response, cricket historian David Frith said, "It is hard to deny that this is a breakthrough. This discovery points to an addition to the great history of cricket. It's exciting we haven't yet written the final word on it."

I don't know if this news falls in the "exciting" category but it's thought-provoking. Cricket...croquettes...makes one think, yes?

Political correctness gone too far?

Many people reading this will recall as children, participating in a sack race or three legged race during sports day and ending up no worse for wear. Well that was then as they say, and this is now with a school in Washington banning the two old and popular events due to what they claim is fear of injury.

"PC" school officials who were concerned that the primary school pupils could fall over and suffer bruising, were assailed by critics for banning the two events.

Yeah so what? I mean, so the children fall down and get grass skids...or a bruise here and there. All part of the game and being kids!

Teachers at the John F Kennedy Primary in Washington, Tyne and Wear, dropped the events after talks with Beamish Open Air Museum, where an Edwardian-themed sports day is being held today. The day called for children to dress up in period costumes and play old-fashioned-type games, which included running, hopping and throwing ping-pong balls into pails.

Laura Midgely, founder of the Campaign Against Political Correctness group, said: “It’s health and safety gone mad, completely over the top.”