Snore-free hotel rooms offered by hotel chain - really!

Snorers beware! There might be a middle-of-the-night visit by the snore patrol depending on your snoring level output.

Don't know how well this is going to go over with hotel guests but the Crowne Plaza international hotel chain is using a "snore patrol" and "snore absorption rooms" in an attempt, presumably, to cut back on the sound of people snoring. It's not bad enough that hotel guests have to worry about bed begs these days and now we have to be concerned with the noise level of our snoring...presuming of course that we admit to snoring, which many of us don't, but that as they say, is another story.

It seems that snore patrols - can't believe I'm even writing this - are presently patrolling the corridors of designated quiet areas of Crowne Plaza hotels in the cities of London, Leeds and Manchester, England. Why do these type of stories seem to take place in England. But I digress. Their task should they accept it - and they do it appears - is to listen(!) for offensive noises and knock on the door of guests who snore too loudly. Again, can't believe I'm writing this.

Thinking further about their task, there are other noises that are made from other activities other than snoring if you get my drift! Do you see law suits on the way?

According to an employee Snore Monitor, the snore team conducts floor walks to check for excessive noise disruptions, focusing on the main part on quiet zone rooms. Most likely, there are electronic devices on the market that can now detect the sound levels of snorers. Upon checking in, guests have the option of staying in a snore-free room. However, if a snorer checks in a quiet free zone and - well - snores a lot disrupting the quiet, they will be offered another room away from the "quiet zone" for their next stay there.

On the plus side, guests staying in a "snore absoption room" can anticipate the latest in snore control technology to reduce repetitive noise. We're talking here about sound-proofing on the walls, headboards, anti-snoring pillows and white noise machines, whatever they are, features that are designed to ease (but not eliminate obviously) snoring.

I dunno. Knowing that anti-snoring patrols are patrolling the halls is enough to keep a hotel guest awake in itself.

So there's a knock on a hotel room door in the middle of the night:

GUEST: Who's there?

ANTI SNORE PATROL: It's Amy of the anti-snoring patrol

GUEST: Who? You have the wrong room

ANTI SNORE PATROL: We were walking by your room and it appears you are snoring a few decibels above the allowed limit

GUEST: Say what? Whad'ya talking about? Is this some type of a joke?

ANTI-SNORE PATROL: We're very serious about our job. Should you continue to snore to the point where we feel it's disturbing other guests in this snore-free zone, we will have to move you to another room

GUEST: I don't think so! Expect to hear from my lawyer in the morning.

You get the idea... What next? Anti-coughing areas...anti nose-blowing areas. The mind boggles - at least mine does.