Silly, screwy and sappy summer stories

Maybe it's the time of the year in mid-summer when a hot sun beats down and perhaps - pure speculation - affects one's brain and thinking process. I'm a person who seeks out these type of stories and thankful that people get silly once in a while.

As a Monty Python fan forever, I especially loved all their silly pseudo news reports. A personal favorite was/is their Silly Olympics, which just so happens to lead into today's first  piece, "The Chap Olympics.".

Unrelated to "the" Olympic Games to be held in London, England, the Chap Olympics ,which take place in the same city celebrates - well - things ("so get on with it, Eleanor, and tell us about this thing of which you speak!") different. Different is good.

The eighth annual (go figure this was an annual event that has such staying power) Chap Olympiad, sponsored by Chap Magazine, which describes these games as celebrating sporting ineptitude. Many of us can relate to that. Actually, chances are many/a lot of people reading this could, if they wanted to and were willing to make their way to London, take part in the activities since it doesn't require any particular physical agility, unless one considers umbrella jousting, ironing board surfing (at last something fun to do with an ironing board) and of course the challenging, cucumber sandwich discus, as physical sports. Additionial events listed include pipeathlon, gentleman's gold club and not playing tennis. Really.

But wait - there's more electrifying events ("Oh do get on with it, Eleanor, and stop beating around the bush.")!  Butler Baiting consisting teams of two people, who must assemble a wardrobe nice enough to impress a butler. Winners were judged on the basis of maintenance of panache, perfectly knotted ties and levels of skulduggery. Be still my beating heart! 

Meanwhile, here are some photos of the contestants participating in the events:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/06/magazine_the_chap_olympics/html/1.stm

I'll be sure to mark this Chap Challenge down in my next year's agenda in anticipation of an invitation to any royal event, which all seem to get lost in the mail, somehow.

Moving on...

Problems for the caped crusader if he was real and if he could fly

On a more serious but of no consequence in the scheme of things, someone - a group of British physics students - have calculated what would/could happen if Batman really existed ("you mean he doesn't, Eleanor?"), and would he be able to fly safely. To be candid, this is something that I've never really never thought about. You? Why they (the students) decided to assess the comic heroes odds regarding his flying prowess is not mentioned in the article but as mentioned, it's summer and there's a new Batman movie coming out...

Anyway,  the four students involved who attend the University of Leicester and are in their final year of a four year Master of Physics degree that gives them some credibility, calculated that Batman could glide using his cape but his landing would kill him. It's always the landings that get you in the end, isn't it. In their paper entitled, "Trajectory of a Falling Batman", they argued that if he (Batman) jumped from a 150-metre high building, the 4.7 meter wingspan of his cape would allow him to glide 350 meters. However - it's always the howevers in life that get you in the end - he would reach a speed of 68 miles per hour before hitting the ground at a life-threatening speed of 50mph. According to one of the students, the caped crusader would need a larger cape. Thinking further, not sure if a larger cape would fit the heroe's image and most likely - pure speculation on my part - the cape would have to be a lot larger. Moving on...

Got a spare £3m hanging around?

So let's say one has a few dollars (or pounds) that are doing nothing and seeking something in which to invest said spare dollars/pounds. City trader, Christian Siva-Jothy, a former partner in Goldman-Sachs, is looking for a buyer for his island.

In the way of enticing a potential buyer who could be reading this blog right now, the 260 acre King's Island, or Eilaen Righ, is located 350 yard off the Scottish mainland and is accessible only by boat or helicopter. This means real privacy for the new owner.

The island has a four bedroom house, a boat house, observatory and its own helicopter landing pad. There is a lot of wildlife that hang around including a population of deer that swim over from the mainland, dolphins, otters, sea eagles and osprey. Furthermore and for those inclined, the new owner(s) can fish for an endless supply of salmon and lobster. Sounds too desolate for me. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Finally...fun things to do in Finland for tourists

As a tourist visiting or planning a visit to Finland, perhaps you're wondering what type of traditional summer festivals are held throughout the country in order to plan recreational activities around them. Wonder no more - here is a taste of some of the more unusual competitions.

For example:

Wife Carrying World Championship

Never realized this was a world-wide challenge but I digress. The festival, held from July 1 to July 2, in the town of Sankajarvi, is a re-creation of an old Finnish folk tale focusing on local villain, Herkho Ronkainen, who carried away beautiful native girls, married or single. The main aim of the competition is to carry your wife from start to finish.

Contestants must carry wives across a 253.5 metre track of sand, grass and asphalt, and a water obstacle.The prize is a loaf of rye bread, a statuette and the woman's weight in beer. So I'm wondering here what happens if, say, one drops one's wife. Is there some type of penalty or is one out of the running in the true sense of the word? It's a lot of work for a rye bread. At least if they threw in cheese or something.

Mobile Phone Throwing World Championship
This event takes place in August in Riihisaari, Savonlinna in eastern Finland, is quite simple: one throws one's cell phone. That's it - really! Just thinking...the real challenge one (me) would imagine in finding one's cell phone among all the other flung cell phones. But I digress. Again.

Mosquito Killing Contest

This is a summer event when mosquitos are rife (love that word). Thinking further about this, many of us have been practicing without even being having to travel to Finland. The challenge is to kill or swat as many mosquitos as possible in less than 5 minutes. The current world record stands at 21 mosquitoes in 5 minutes. Then again, one wonders if dead or partially squashed bugs are included in the total or whether they have a supply of mosquitoes in a jar or something ready to be released for the swatters to use for...swatting. Another question that springs to mind is do other flying species count in the final total?

The Ant-Nest Sitting Competition

This is a competition that could take place anywhere and/or everywhere in the world should there be an interest (doubt it but who knows). Held in many areas of Finland, winners are decided by competitors sitting on ant nests for the longest duration. Doubtful that participants practice in advance for the event. Just thinking...are participants assigned specific ant nests or do they get to choose? So many questions and issues to contemplate but then I obviously have too much time on my hands.

There are other interesting competitions should one be planning a trip to Finland that can be found here: http://summerofsunfinland.blogspot.pt/2012/04/traditional-finnish-festivities.html

How has your summer been so far?

So what's on your cell phone? Lotsa germs

These days it's uncommon to see people without a cell phone in their hands while carrying on their every day lives. This includes from personal experience, talking while using a public toilet. Why the necessity and urgency to communicate with someone while answering nature's call to put it politely, is a mystery to me. I've been privy to people in nearby stalls gossiping on their cell phones while using the toilet facilities, making social arrangements and other inconsequential chatter. It can wait people! But I digress.

Research conducted by the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine and Queen Mary, University of London, a study suggested that one in six cell phones is - wait for it - contaminated with faecal matter, according to research for Global Handwashing Day, which took place on October 15. The researchers took almost 400 samples from phones ande hands in twelves British cities. Their findings are interesting in that 16% of phones and 16% of hands harbored E. coli bacteria.

Although 95% of people said they washed their hands with soap where possible, 92% of phones and 82% of hands had bacteria on them. Furthermore, 16% of hands and 16% of phones were found to harbour E. coli – bacteria of a faecal origin. Thinking further, this indicates at least to me that not everyone washes their hands when possible and not everyone tells the truth when asked.

Researchers travelled to 12 cities in various locations in England and took 390 samples from mobile phones and hands which were analysed in the lab to find out the type and number of germs lurking there. They also asked participants a series of questions about their handwashing habits.

To get back to National Handwashing Day, how many people reading this were even aware that this was a day put aside to - well - draw attention to the importance of washing hands. In the way of background information, the day was established by the Global Public-Private Partnership for Handwashing in 2008 to:


• Foster and support a global culture of handwashing with soap.
• Shine a spotlight on the state of handwashing in every country.
• Raise awareness about the benefits of handwashing with soap.

Global Handwashing Day was originally created for children and schools, but can be celebrated by anyone promoting handwashing with soap.

Each year, over 200 million people are involved in celebrations in over 100 countries around the world. Global Handwashing is endorsed by a wide array of governments, international institutions, civil society organizations, NGOs, private companies, and individuals.

Thinking further (again), 200 million people world wide are involved are involved in some way to the act of  washing their hands.

Here's a link for Global Handwashing Day: http://www.globalhandwashingday.org/About.asp

Snore-free hotel rooms offered by hotel chain - really!

Snorers beware! There might be a middle-of-the-night visit by the snore patrol depending on your snoring level output.

Don't know how well this is going to go over with hotel guests but the Crowne Plaza international hotel chain is using a "snore patrol" and "snore absorption rooms" in an attempt, presumably, to cut back on the sound of people snoring. It's not bad enough that hotel guests have to worry about bed begs these days and now we have to be concerned with the noise level of our snoring...presuming of course that we admit to snoring, which many of us don't, but that as they say, is another story.

It seems that snore patrols - can't believe I'm even writing this - are presently patrolling the corridors of designated quiet areas of Crowne Plaza hotels in the cities of London, Leeds and Manchester, England. Why do these type of stories seem to take place in England. But I digress. Their task should they accept it - and they do it appears - is to listen(!) for offensive noises and knock on the door of guests who snore too loudly. Again, can't believe I'm writing this.

Thinking further about their task, there are other noises that are made from other activities other than snoring if you get my drift! Do you see law suits on the way?

According to an employee Snore Monitor, the snore team conducts floor walks to check for excessive noise disruptions, focusing on the main part on quiet zone rooms. Most likely, there are electronic devices on the market that can now detect the sound levels of snorers. Upon checking in, guests have the option of staying in a snore-free room. However, if a snorer checks in a quiet free zone and - well - snores a lot disrupting the quiet, they will be offered another room away from the "quiet zone" for their next stay there.

On the plus side, guests staying in a "snore absoption room" can anticipate the latest in snore control technology to reduce repetitive noise. We're talking here about sound-proofing on the walls, headboards, anti-snoring pillows and white noise machines, whatever they are, features that are designed to ease (but not eliminate obviously) snoring.

I dunno. Knowing that anti-snoring patrols are patrolling the halls is enough to keep a hotel guest awake in itself.

So there's a knock on a hotel room door in the middle of the night:

GUEST: Who's there?

ANTI SNORE PATROL: It's Amy of the anti-snoring patrol

GUEST: Who? You have the wrong room

ANTI SNORE PATROL: We were walking by your room and it appears you are snoring a few decibels above the allowed limit

GUEST: Say what? Whad'ya talking about? Is this some type of a joke?

ANTI-SNORE PATROL: We're very serious about our job. Should you continue to snore to the point where we feel it's disturbing other guests in this snore-free zone, we will have to move you to another room

GUEST: I don't think so! Expect to hear from my lawyer in the morning.

You get the idea... What next? Anti-coughing areas...anti nose-blowing areas. The mind boggles - at least mine does.

Update: breast milk ice cream no longer available

In case anyone reading this and living in London, England, was toying with the idea of tasting breast milk ice cream - forgetaboutit! Not surprisingly, the unusual treat or whatever you want to call it, was removed from purchase by the public by the London council. What took them so long?

Of all the dumb ideas, this one takes the cake.

The first problem I have with it is its origin in that mother's breast milk is intended for consumption by babies. The second issue is the mothers who would supply the milk, obviously for a price. I mean - c'mon - selling your breast milk? One assumes that the moms who would normally feed said milk to their babies, instead fed them commercial forumla.

The issue that the London council had with the breast ice cream was their concern that the ice cream could spread viruses. Members of the council had visited the restaurant where it was sold (not more free publicity!) and removed all the breast milk ice cream for testing, after being advised that it was being sold to the public.
The fear was that food items made from bodily fluids could lead to viruses being passed on. The restaurant owner for his part, agreed to stop making and serving the ice cream while it was being tested. He dismissed the allegations claiming that the milk had gone through the same screen proceedures as milk, blood and sperm found in donation banks.

Meanwhile, a serving of the breast milk ice cream was going for $23. Wonder how many people actually tried it. Thinking further, why would anyone want to try this particular...flavor, anyway, given all the choice of flavors on the marketplace? No indication whether it will be back as a flavor choice if the test prove the milk is safe.

WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS - SO SOLDIER SUES

Having the name Paris Hilton, and being in the spotlight, there's bound to be some negative reports off and on. That's life being Paris. However, being sued for being...Paris takes things to a whole new level.

The private claims that calling him Paris after the notorious heiress is “demeaning”.

Hylton, a chef with the Welsh Guards, is suing for race discrimination because he says other soldiers continued to call him “Paris”, even though officers ordered them to stop. His solicitor even wrote to Prince Charles, who is Colonel of the Welsh Guards, urging him to step down after letters to the regiment’s commanding officer detailing the allegations went unanswered.

Hylton, 33, says he finds the nickname offensive because he considers Paris Hilton – the wayward socialite belonging to the hotel dynasty – is “a white woman with a low reputation”.
He also claims that he was repeatedly called a string of racist names at his barracks in Birdcage Walk close to Buckingham Palace.

Hylton’s wife and children were also allegedly left in fear after a hate campaign in which locks on the doors at their married quarters were repeatedly superglued shut. At one stage Hylton, who was born in Jamaica, complains that an NCO who racially abused him had also punched him, leaving him requiring hospital treatment.

But he claims in legal papers submitted to Central London Employment Tribunal, which will hear his case next month, that he was the one who was arrested – and military police recorded his name in statements as Paris Hilton.

Hylton, from Woolwich, south-east London, says his ordeal has forced him out of his £22,000-a-year post and he is due to leave the Army next month.

The private is demanding £50,000 compensation from the Ministry of Defence, which denies his allegations and is vigorously contesting the case.

A spokesman for Prince Charles declined to comment.