There are times especially in trying circumstances, when yelling obscenities is the only means in which to vent one's frustrations. Frequently, the recipient of the obscenities can be an inanimate object, in which case it's merely a one-sided swearing situation with no one being hurt. Perhaps but not always.
Take the case of this woman who lives in Pennsylvania that is facing a jail sentence for shouting profanities at her over-flowing toilet. You read it right.
The female in question, one Dawn Herb, was in her own home in West Scranton when a neighbor who just happened to be a police officer by chance, heard her swearing through an open window. He responded by asking her to "keep it down" and when she continued her tirade, his police colleagues were called out and believe it or not, she was charged with disorderly conduct. She is now facing up to - wait for it - 90 days in jail and a fine of up to $300.
I mean - c'mon! Gimme a break! First of all the lady...female was in the privacy of her own home. It wasn't as if the recipient of her verbal abuse was alive or anything. We're talking here about a toilet that backed up with water over-flowing on to the floor! Logically and perhaps this is the wrong term to use in this case, who was hurt? More to the point did the swearing affect the flow of the water one way or the other?
I think not!
There is no information available as to the price of a plumber to fix the situation, which would be added to that of her fine. All-in-all, it must have been a very trying experience for her. There is also no information whether the errant toilet was bought on sale. Not that it makes any difference...
http://www.sparkweekly.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071016/NEWS/71016036
http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=bizarre&id=5709833
Writers & Friends
www.writersandfriends.org
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Friday, October 05, 2007
AND THE WINNERS ARE (AMONG OTHER) HOW TO EXTRACT VANILLA FROM COW DUNG
It brings a tear to the eyes - at least the prize handed out to Mayu Yamamoto, from Japan, who developed a method to extract vanilla fragrance and flavoring from cow dung. This is something the world has been waiting for!
The prize is among other - how shall we say - unusual awards known as the Ig Nobel Prize handed out by the Annals of Improbable Research in their ongoing quest to “celebrate the unusual, honor the imaginative — and spur people’s interest in science, medicine and technology.”
O-kay. We'll drink to that. Actually, maybe not.
Among the other prize winners was a team at Quilmes National University in Argentina, who took home the honors in the aviation category for finding that - wait for it - hamsters given Viagra needed 50% less time to recover from a six-hour time zone change. This vital information should be of great interest to rodents that fly the friendly skies. I mean...really.
In the medical sphere, the prize for medicine went to radiologist Brian Witcombe at Gloucestershire Royal NHS foundation trust for his study of the vocational risks of sword swallowing Moreover, “sore throats - ’sword throats’ - occur when swallowers are learning, when performances are repeated frequently, or when odd-shaped or multiple swords are used,” he concluded. This conclusion is all the more interesting given the means in which they arrived at this. Who were the subjects and what were they given to partake in this experiment? Equally fascinating, are they still alive and what did they do with the leftover swords?
Juan Manuel Toro, Josep Trobalon and Núria Sebastián-Gallés, of Barcelona University, collected the linguistics Ig Nobel for showing that rats sometimes cannot tell the difference between a person speaking Japanese backwards and a person speaking Dutch backwards (but only sometimes!). Now this begs the question as to how the researchers actually found rats that understood Japanese AND Dutch and then determining if they could distinguish the difference when speaking Japanese and Dutch backwards/forwards... Oh who cares anyway!
Back state-side, the U.S. Air Force’s Wright Laboratory in Ohio took the peace prize for its 1994 research into a “gay bomb” that could deploy a chemical substance that would turn the enemy’s front lines into an orgy. Unlike most of the other winners, no one from the lab showed up for the presentation. Perhaps they were other-wise occupied one ponders?
The Biology honors went to Dr. Johanna van Bronswijk of the Netherlands for carrying out a census of all of the mites, insects, spiders, ferns and fungi that share our beds. No mention of numbers acquired in the mite research, which could be a good or bad sign. Then again there could have been duplication given their propensity to jump around. Was this research conducted world-wide or locally?
Now in as far as Economics go, here is something that has some merit or at least logic. Kuo Cheng Hsieh of Taiwan presumably patented a device that can catch bank robbers by dropping a net over them. Oh the inventiveness of this device!
Can't wait for next year's prizes. Got any ideas?
Writers & Friends
www.writersandfriends.org
The prize is among other - how shall we say - unusual awards known as the Ig Nobel Prize handed out by the Annals of Improbable Research in their ongoing quest to “celebrate the unusual, honor the imaginative — and spur people’s interest in science, medicine and technology.”
O-kay. We'll drink to that. Actually, maybe not.
Among the other prize winners was a team at Quilmes National University in Argentina, who took home the honors in the aviation category for finding that - wait for it - hamsters given Viagra needed 50% less time to recover from a six-hour time zone change. This vital information should be of great interest to rodents that fly the friendly skies. I mean...really.
In the medical sphere, the prize for medicine went to radiologist Brian Witcombe at Gloucestershire Royal NHS foundation trust for his study of the vocational risks of sword swallowing Moreover, “sore throats - ’sword throats’ - occur when swallowers are learning, when performances are repeated frequently, or when odd-shaped or multiple swords are used,” he concluded. This conclusion is all the more interesting given the means in which they arrived at this. Who were the subjects and what were they given to partake in this experiment? Equally fascinating, are they still alive and what did they do with the leftover swords?
Juan Manuel Toro, Josep Trobalon and Núria Sebastián-Gallés, of Barcelona University, collected the linguistics Ig Nobel for showing that rats sometimes cannot tell the difference between a person speaking Japanese backwards and a person speaking Dutch backwards (but only sometimes!). Now this begs the question as to how the researchers actually found rats that understood Japanese AND Dutch and then determining if they could distinguish the difference when speaking Japanese and Dutch backwards/forwards... Oh who cares anyway!
Back state-side, the U.S. Air Force’s Wright Laboratory in Ohio took the peace prize for its 1994 research into a “gay bomb” that could deploy a chemical substance that would turn the enemy’s front lines into an orgy. Unlike most of the other winners, no one from the lab showed up for the presentation. Perhaps they were other-wise occupied one ponders?
The Biology honors went to Dr. Johanna van Bronswijk of the Netherlands for carrying out a census of all of the mites, insects, spiders, ferns and fungi that share our beds. No mention of numbers acquired in the mite research, which could be a good or bad sign. Then again there could have been duplication given their propensity to jump around. Was this research conducted world-wide or locally?
Now in as far as Economics go, here is something that has some merit or at least logic. Kuo Cheng Hsieh of Taiwan presumably patented a device that can catch bank robbers by dropping a net over them. Oh the inventiveness of this device!
Can't wait for next year's prizes. Got any ideas?
Writers & Friends
www.writersandfriends.org
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
STATE SENATOR SUES GOD
O-kay... let's see what we have here... A state senator is suing - wait for it - God. The God.
The senator in question, Sen. Ernie Chambers actually started the proceedings against God last week, claiming that he is trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody.
The defendant in a state senator's lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He's everywhere. Furthermore, in his lawsuit, Chambers goes on to claim that God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."
Surrrrre. Of course...
The Omaha senator, who skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians, also says God has caused "fearsome floods ... horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes."
He's seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty.
Read it here: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/18/national/main3271308.shtml?source=RSSattr=U.S._3271308
It will be interesting to see if the accused will respond to the lawsuit and whether or not a search warrant will be issued if he doesn't show up for trial...if it goes to trial.
Writers & Friends
www.writersandfriends.org
The senator in question, Sen. Ernie Chambers actually started the proceedings against God last week, claiming that he is trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody.
The defendant in a state senator's lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He's everywhere. Furthermore, in his lawsuit, Chambers goes on to claim that God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."
Surrrrre. Of course...
The Omaha senator, who skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians, also says God has caused "fearsome floods ... horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes."
He's seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty.
Read it here: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/18/national/main3271308.shtml?source=RSSattr=U.S._3271308
It will be interesting to see if the accused will respond to the lawsuit and whether or not a search warrant will be issued if he doesn't show up for trial...if it goes to trial.
Writers & Friends
www.writersandfriends.org
Sunday, September 16, 2007
A FISH TALE WITH A HAPPY ENDING
So y'see...as it is in life, there was this male salmon who met a female salmon and they got along really well. So well that they decided they wanted to start a family but after a while and no eggs to speak of, they did what many human-types did: they found a surrogate parent...fish.
Researchers in Japan have put a new spin on surrogate parenting having engineered one fish species to produce another to preserve endangered fish. Scientists in Idaho are continuing this concept in an attempt to produce a sockeye salmon, highly endangered in the state, but using trout as surrogate parents.
Those first experiments, funded by a Japanese research institute, used still fairly plentiful species to develop the technique. Now comes Idaho's attempt to prove if the method is really useful in trying to produce the endangered sockeye salmon.
Last January, YoshiGoro Yoshizaki, a Tokyo University marine scientist who is leading the research helped University of Idaho scientists collect and freeze immature sperm tissue from young sockeye salmon being raised at a state-run hatchery. Next month, he'll be back to help thaw the tissue and implant it into sterile rainbow trout.
In Japan, Yoshizaki is focused on bluefin tuna, noting that standard "marine ranching" techniques are difficult for tuna that can reach man-size.
He has begun experiments into how to produce baby tuna from mackerel, which are nearly a thousand times smaller than adult tuna. If it works, "we can save space, cost and labor," he predicted in an e-mail interview.
Read about the entire cut-and-implant process here:
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=0058EF3E-E7F2-99DF-3C2EC5A22E22A477&chanID=sa007
I dunno. It's not nice to fool Mother Nature... I mean, at some point down the line, a trout just may receive the unexpected (and traumatic) news that his mama was a salmon. Or a tuna may discover it has mackeral-ish tendencies. Who knows where all of this can lead...
Writers & Friends
http://www.writersandfriends.org/
Researchers in Japan have put a new spin on surrogate parenting having engineered one fish species to produce another to preserve endangered fish. Scientists in Idaho are continuing this concept in an attempt to produce a sockeye salmon, highly endangered in the state, but using trout as surrogate parents.
Those first experiments, funded by a Japanese research institute, used still fairly plentiful species to develop the technique. Now comes Idaho's attempt to prove if the method is really useful in trying to produce the endangered sockeye salmon.
Last January, YoshiGoro Yoshizaki, a Tokyo University marine scientist who is leading the research helped University of Idaho scientists collect and freeze immature sperm tissue from young sockeye salmon being raised at a state-run hatchery. Next month, he'll be back to help thaw the tissue and implant it into sterile rainbow trout.
In Japan, Yoshizaki is focused on bluefin tuna, noting that standard "marine ranching" techniques are difficult for tuna that can reach man-size.
He has begun experiments into how to produce baby tuna from mackerel, which are nearly a thousand times smaller than adult tuna. If it works, "we can save space, cost and labor," he predicted in an e-mail interview.
Read about the entire cut-and-implant process here:
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=0058EF3E-E7F2-99DF-3C2EC5A22E22A477&chanID=sa007
I dunno. It's not nice to fool Mother Nature... I mean, at some point down the line, a trout just may receive the unexpected (and traumatic) news that his mama was a salmon. Or a tuna may discover it has mackeral-ish tendencies. Who knows where all of this can lead...
Writers & Friends
http://www.writersandfriends.org/
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
HOLD THE SALT
If ever there was a news item that fit into this category - this is it. I mean - c'mon - gimme a break!
Get this... An employee who works for McDonalds, ended up spending the night in jail and what's more is facing criminal charges for - wait for it - a police officer's burger was too salty! What's more the cop is claiming that it made him sick. Some would say that fast food in general sometimes has that effect on people but I digress.
The McDonald's server was arrested last Friday and charged with misdemeanor reckless conduct and freed on a $1000 bail.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-09-09-mcdonaldsburger_N.htm
In the way of an explanation the McD's server admits to accidentally spilling some salt on hamburger meat and informed her supervisior and a co-worker, who handled the problem by trying to remove the salt by "thumping it" whatever that entails.
Read the salty details here: http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-09-09-mcdonaldsburger_N.htm
Next thing you know somebody is going to claim that ketchup served was too tomato-y or the fries were the wrong color or the coffee was to hot... Hang on - somebody already sued for that. I mean, really...
Get this... An employee who works for McDonalds, ended up spending the night in jail and what's more is facing criminal charges for - wait for it - a police officer's burger was too salty! What's more the cop is claiming that it made him sick. Some would say that fast food in general sometimes has that effect on people but I digress.
The McDonald's server was arrested last Friday and charged with misdemeanor reckless conduct and freed on a $1000 bail.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-09-09-mcdonaldsburger_N.htm
In the way of an explanation the McD's server admits to accidentally spilling some salt on hamburger meat and informed her supervisior and a co-worker, who handled the problem by trying to remove the salt by "thumping it" whatever that entails.
Read the salty details here: http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-09-09-mcdonaldsburger_N.htm
Next thing you know somebody is going to claim that ketchup served was too tomato-y or the fries were the wrong color or the coffee was to hot... Hang on - somebody already sued for that. I mean, really...
Sunday, September 09, 2007
PLANTS (MAY) LIKE CLASSICAL MUSIC
I knew it all along! Better be careful what you say in front of your house plant. Seems that scientists believe they have found "a set of sound-responsive genes in plants" in what other experts said would be an astonishing finding.
Astonishing maybe. Surprising not really according to an article focusing on this subject.
Plants are known to respond to light, temperature, touch and vibration, and the South Korean team, led by Dr Mi-Jeong Jeong, decided to investigate whether they could also respond to sound in some way.
They played classical music, such as Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, Clair de Lune by Debussy and Winter from Vivaldi's Four Seasons, to a rice crop. The plants appeared unmoved.
Perhaps - just speculation now - rice prefers rock music...or even elevator-music-type stuff.
However, when single notes were played, the scientists noticed an effect on two genes known to respond to light, New Scientist magazine reports today. These became more active when exposed to a high-pitched sound and less active when a low one was played.
"As far as we know, this is the first report of characterisation of plant sound-responsive genes."
This might cast a different light on the comment by the Prince of Wales, who reportedly told a television interviewer in the mid-1980s: "I just come and talk to the plants, really. It's very important to talk. They respond, don't they?"
So the future King of England talks to plants so there has to be something to it. No? Then again, some people believe that some royals have been known to be - how shall we say - imaginative.
Dr Jeong's team plans to look into the matter further.
"I would be astonished if plants could tell the difference [between types of music]. But you never know," he said. "This would be of large interest to the plant community in general if it were true, but it's a very big claim."
Dr Wigge said vibration caused by sound waves might have something to do with the Korean team's results, but added the effect on the genes was so small it could also be "natural variation".
"We know plants are responsive to wind and sense touch and vibration, so that could be having an effect," he said.
Dr Wigge said people had looked "very hard" for decades for signs of something more to plants.
"There was a claim that plants were sensitive and they had feelings; plants had a mood and it depended on electrical currents," he said. "All these studies, unfortunately, have never panned out."
Those non plant-likers are so negative but we plant lovers know different. Mine like Justin Timberlake and Phil Collins. Don't ask how I know. I just do.
Astonishing maybe. Surprising not really according to an article focusing on this subject.
Plants are known to respond to light, temperature, touch and vibration, and the South Korean team, led by Dr Mi-Jeong Jeong, decided to investigate whether they could also respond to sound in some way.
They played classical music, such as Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, Clair de Lune by Debussy and Winter from Vivaldi's Four Seasons, to a rice crop. The plants appeared unmoved.
Perhaps - just speculation now - rice prefers rock music...or even elevator-music-type stuff.
However, when single notes were played, the scientists noticed an effect on two genes known to respond to light, New Scientist magazine reports today. These became more active when exposed to a high-pitched sound and less active when a low one was played.
"As far as we know, this is the first report of characterisation of plant sound-responsive genes."
This might cast a different light on the comment by the Prince of Wales, who reportedly told a television interviewer in the mid-1980s: "I just come and talk to the plants, really. It's very important to talk. They respond, don't they?"
So the future King of England talks to plants so there has to be something to it. No? Then again, some people believe that some royals have been known to be - how shall we say - imaginative.
Dr Jeong's team plans to look into the matter further.
"I would be astonished if plants could tell the difference [between types of music]. But you never know," he said. "This would be of large interest to the plant community in general if it were true, but it's a very big claim."
Dr Wigge said vibration caused by sound waves might have something to do with the Korean team's results, but added the effect on the genes was so small it could also be "natural variation".
"We know plants are responsive to wind and sense touch and vibration, so that could be having an effect," he said.
Dr Wigge said people had looked "very hard" for decades for signs of something more to plants.
"There was a claim that plants were sensitive and they had feelings; plants had a mood and it depended on electrical currents," he said. "All these studies, unfortunately, have never panned out."
Those non plant-likers are so negative but we plant lovers know different. Mine like Justin Timberlake and Phil Collins. Don't ask how I know. I just do.
Friday, September 07, 2007
WHAT NEXT? POPCORN CAUSES POPCORN LUNG...MAYBE...COULD BE...
Is there nothing left in life to enjoy? Weight watchers have been told that two cups of popcorn is a healthy and less fattening snack food and recommended for people on a diet. Now researchers are telling us that butter-flavored popcorn may be bad for our health. I mean - c'mon! Popcorn and movies are like...sacred, almost!
The public is being warned by lung specialists that not only factory workers could be in danger as a result of the fumes from buttery-flavored microwave popcorn, in a letter issued by federal regulars from a physician at a leading lung research hospital.
Oh? Somebody is getting research funds to study popcorn and I wasn't asked to participate?
A pulmonary specialist at Denver's National Jewish Medical and Research Center has written to federal agencies reporting that doctors working there believe they have the first case of a consumer who developed lung disease from the fumes of microwaving popcorn several times a day for years.
The public is being warned by lung specialists that not only factory workers could be in danger as a result of the fumes from buttery-flavored microwave popcorn, in a letter issued by federal regulars from a physician at a leading lung research hospital.
Oh? Somebody is getting research funds to study popcorn and I wasn't asked to participate?
A pulmonary specialist at Denver's National Jewish Medical and Research Center has written to federal agencies reporting that doctors working there believe they have the first case of a consumer who developed lung disease from the fumes of microwaving popcorn several times a day for years.
This begs at least from my perspective, the question as to how many of us actually eat pop popcorn several times a day? This person obviously had a popcorn addiction that went untreated for many years for this to occur. Perhaps had she/he been weaned away... But I digress.
"We cannot be sure that this patient's exposure to butter flavored microwave popcorn from daily heavy preparation has caused his lung disease," cautioned Dr. Cecile Rose. "However, we have no other plausible explanation."
The July letter, made public Tuesday by a public health policy blog, refers to a potentially fatal disease commonly called popcorn lung that has been the subject of lawsuits by hundreds of workers at food factories exposed to chemicals used for flavouring.
Note there is no Latin term as yet for the new syndrome. Popcornus lungitis bad-forus springs to mind.
In response to Rose's finding, the Flavor and Extract Manufacturers Association issued a statement Tuesday recommending that its members reduce "to the extent possible" the amount of diacetyl in butter flavourings they make. It noted that diacetyl is approved for use in flavours by the federal Food and Drug Administration.
One national popcorn manufacturer, Weaver Popcorn Co. of Indianapolis, said last week it would replace the butter flavouring ingredient because of consumer concern. Congress has also been debating new safety measures for workers in food processing plants exposed to diacetyl.
The FDA said in an e-mail it is evaluating Rose's letter and "carefully considering the safety and regulatory issues it raises."
Fred Blosser, spokesman for the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, said it is the first case the institute has seen of lung disease apparently linked to popcorn fumes outside the workplace.
A spokesman for National Jewish Medical, confirmed the letter was sent by Rose, a specialist in occupational and environmental lung diseases and director of the hospital's Occupational and Environmental Medicine Clinic.
"There have been no other cases that we know of other than the industrial occupational ones," Allstetter said.
Rose acknowledged in the letter that it is difficult to confirm through one case that popping buttered microwave popcorn at home can cause lung disease. However, she said she wanted to alert regulators of the potential public health implications.
Perhaps if we don't inhale...
Rose said the ailing patient, a man whom she wouldn't identify, consumed "several bags of extra butter flavoured microwave popcorn" every day for several years. He described progressively worsening respiratory symptoms of coughing and shortness of breath. Tests found his ability to exhale was deteriorating, Rose said, although his condition seemed to stabilize after he quit using microwave popcorn.
Read an up-close-and-personal story about the man who has allegedly experienced first-hand the effects of popcorn lung here: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/06/health/main3239379.shtml
Writers & Friends
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Got a penis to spare?
The world's only penis museum has appealed for a human specimen.
Curator Sigurdur Hjartarson opened the museum in 1974 in Husavik, Iceland, and has collected 195 penises from various animals. His collection includes penises from hamsters, horses and whales however now he is appealing again for a human organ.
He said people from the UK, Germany and the US had contacted him offering their penises in the past but that none of the offers had ever been serious.
According to Wikipedia, "the Icelandic Phallological Museum (Hið Íslenzka Reðasafn, in Icelandic) in Húsavík, Iceland (formerly in Reykjavík) is a museum devoted to phallology. As of July 2006, the museum houses 245 specimens (or more than 170, according to El periódico de Cataluña) displayed like hunting trophies, embalmed in formaldehyde, or dried in display cases. The museum attempts to collect penis specimens from every mammal in Iceland, including several species that are endangered or currently extinct in Icelandic waters.
Sigurður Hjartarson, a former teacher of history at an institute in Reykjavík, is the founder (since 1974, when he was 63 years old) and current director of the museum, which also exhibits a few specimens from mammals not living in Iceland, as well as folkloric specimens (alleged elves, trolls, sea monsters, etc.) and penis-themed art.
Although the museum does not yet have a Homo sapiens specimen, in the interest of advancing phallological knowledge, a patron (Páll Arason, born in 1915 and currently 92 years old) has donated, presumably posthumously, an affidavit for his penis."
So if you know anyone who has one to spare - spread the word.
Curator Sigurdur Hjartarson opened the museum in 1974 in Husavik, Iceland, and has collected 195 penises from various animals. His collection includes penises from hamsters, horses and whales however now he is appealing again for a human organ.
He said people from the UK, Germany and the US had contacted him offering their penises in the past but that none of the offers had ever been serious.
According to Wikipedia, "the Icelandic Phallological Museum (Hið Íslenzka Reðasafn, in Icelandic) in Húsavík, Iceland (formerly in Reykjavík) is a museum devoted to phallology. As of July 2006, the museum houses 245 specimens (or more than 170, according to El periódico de Cataluña) displayed like hunting trophies, embalmed in formaldehyde, or dried in display cases. The museum attempts to collect penis specimens from every mammal in Iceland, including several species that are endangered or currently extinct in Icelandic waters.
Sigurður Hjartarson, a former teacher of history at an institute in Reykjavík, is the founder (since 1974, when he was 63 years old) and current director of the museum, which also exhibits a few specimens from mammals not living in Iceland, as well as folkloric specimens (alleged elves, trolls, sea monsters, etc.) and penis-themed art.
Although the museum does not yet have a Homo sapiens specimen, in the interest of advancing phallological knowledge, a patron (Páll Arason, born in 1915 and currently 92 years old) has donated, presumably posthumously, an affidavit for his penis."
So if you know anyone who has one to spare - spread the word.
Friday, August 17, 2007
A CHEESY ELVIS SIGHTING
There have been Elvis sightings and miscellaneous reports ever since his death...or articles and reports of his death depending on the way one views it, over the years but this is a first.
A person believes that she sees Elvis in - wait for it - Stilton cheese. I mean - why not? Anyway - you decide by reading the story accompanied by the photo:
http://www.peterboroughtoday.co.uk/weird?articleid=3114338
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
A person believes that she sees Elvis in - wait for it - Stilton cheese. I mean - why not? Anyway - you decide by reading the story accompanied by the photo:
http://www.peterboroughtoday.co.uk/weird?articleid=3114338
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Friday, August 03, 2007
CAMP COUNSELLOR ROASTS SQUIRREL - THEN EATS IT
This piece reads like an article out of the tabloids or a bad B-movie. Had to read this piece over a couple of times to make sure I wasn't seeing things.
Seems a Bible camp located in Saskatoon, Sask. in Canada, is defending a counsellor who worked for them, for what ever dumb reason decided to skin, roast and then eat a squirrel in front of a group of boys. Can you imagine the impact it must have had on them?
Parents are understandably upset and some are asking that the counsellor be fired. The camp for its part is claiming that it was an error in judgment by a young counsellor attempting to show respect for nature.
O-kaaaaaay...
The background behind the roast squirrel saga is that said counsellor had accidentally injured said squirrel in question and not wanting the the animal to suffer or its death to be a waste, killed the animal and ate it for lunch.
Eeeeeee-ew! Squirrel!
Thing is and this is not mentioned in the piece, at what point was the squirrel merely injured and then dead?
The SPCA said that the counsellor had done nothing illegal but on the SPCA's recommendation, the camp now has a policy that forbids harassing the rodents.
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Seems a Bible camp located in Saskatoon, Sask. in Canada, is defending a counsellor who worked for them, for what ever dumb reason decided to skin, roast and then eat a squirrel in front of a group of boys. Can you imagine the impact it must have had on them?
Parents are understandably upset and some are asking that the counsellor be fired. The camp for its part is claiming that it was an error in judgment by a young counsellor attempting to show respect for nature.
O-kaaaaaay...
The background behind the roast squirrel saga is that said counsellor had accidentally injured said squirrel in question and not wanting the the animal to suffer or its death to be a waste, killed the animal and ate it for lunch.
Eeeeeee-ew! Squirrel!
Thing is and this is not mentioned in the piece, at what point was the squirrel merely injured and then dead?
The SPCA said that the counsellor had done nothing illegal but on the SPCA's recommendation, the camp now has a policy that forbids harassing the rodents.
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
A NEW VIEW FOR "THE VIEW"...BRITNEY AND THE BOTTLE
After the controversial departure of Rosie O' D and subsequent conjecture of who will be her replacement on "The View" it appears that an announcement is this close as to who will be taking over the vacant chair. The creator and co-host of the show, Barbara Walters, promised that fans will find out the chosen one before their summer break.
"We are going to announce later this week who it is," Walter said on her show.
Meanwhile, the Los Angeles Times reports over the weekend that the new hosts (note the plural factor here) will be Whoopie Goldberg (hurray!) and Sherri Shepherd (not familiar with her or her standup comedy).
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,291109,00.html
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BRITNEY SPEARS ON THE BOTTLE...IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING... AND THROWING
Speaking of celebrities... Seems that Britney Spears, singer and mom, who we are led to believe is trying to get her life on track again, has taken to the bottle. This time round it's not the usual Jack Daniels or designer vodka stuff but baby bottles, however she's not feeding bad stuff to her two tots. Seems the singer who appears to be doing everything but singing these days, tossed a baby bottle or more and threatened two photographers after they took pictures of her leaving a Las Vegas spa, the photographers said in a statement Tuesday.
She was heard to have screamed: "I am going to kill you!" at Andrew Deetz, a photographer who was allegedly beaten by Spears' bodyguard Thursday, they claimed in a statement released by their lawyers. What a surprise that the photogs, Deetz, 24, and Kyle Henderson, 23, said they are preparing to sue. The men were taking pictures of Spears, 25, as she and her children - 22-month-old Sean Preston Federline and 10-month-old Jayden James Federline - left the spa at the Wynn Las Vegas casino-hotel at about 11:30 a.m. local time, accompanied by two bodyguards. One bodyguard, Cesar Julio Camera, 37, pushed Henderson against a wall until Wynn security intervened and asked Henderson to leave, the statement said.
Rather than go into the borrrring details, read about it here:http://jam.canoe.ca/Music/2007/07/31/4383874-ap.html
There is no information as to whether the bottles were glass or the usual plastic but if they were plastic as is commonly used these days, how bad could the photogs been injured, anyway? Presumably, the run-in with Britney's bodyguards is at the heart of the issue but then again, they were doing what they were paid to do and that's to act in the singer's best interest. Too bad that those doing the same are few and far between. Quelle life Britney leads!
Writers & Friends
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"We are going to announce later this week who it is," Walter said on her show.
Meanwhile, the Los Angeles Times reports over the weekend that the new hosts (note the plural factor here) will be Whoopie Goldberg (hurray!) and Sherri Shepherd (not familiar with her or her standup comedy).
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,291109,00.html
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BRITNEY SPEARS ON THE BOTTLE...IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING... AND THROWING
Speaking of celebrities... Seems that Britney Spears, singer and mom, who we are led to believe is trying to get her life on track again, has taken to the bottle. This time round it's not the usual Jack Daniels or designer vodka stuff but baby bottles, however she's not feeding bad stuff to her two tots. Seems the singer who appears to be doing everything but singing these days, tossed a baby bottle or more and threatened two photographers after they took pictures of her leaving a Las Vegas spa, the photographers said in a statement Tuesday.
She was heard to have screamed: "I am going to kill you!" at Andrew Deetz, a photographer who was allegedly beaten by Spears' bodyguard Thursday, they claimed in a statement released by their lawyers. What a surprise that the photogs, Deetz, 24, and Kyle Henderson, 23, said they are preparing to sue. The men were taking pictures of Spears, 25, as she and her children - 22-month-old Sean Preston Federline and 10-month-old Jayden James Federline - left the spa at the Wynn Las Vegas casino-hotel at about 11:30 a.m. local time, accompanied by two bodyguards. One bodyguard, Cesar Julio Camera, 37, pushed Henderson against a wall until Wynn security intervened and asked Henderson to leave, the statement said.
Rather than go into the borrrring details, read about it here:http://jam.canoe.ca/Music/2007/07/31/4383874-ap.html
There is no information as to whether the bottles were glass or the usual plastic but if they were plastic as is commonly used these days, how bad could the photogs been injured, anyway? Presumably, the run-in with Britney's bodyguards is at the heart of the issue but then again, they were doing what they were paid to do and that's to act in the singer's best interest. Too bad that those doing the same are few and far between. Quelle life Britney leads!
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
YET ANOTHER YOUNG HOLLYWOOD TALENT GONE ASTRAY - AGAIN
She's in the news again. Grabbed the last few minutes of Larry King Show on CNN last night since they had a guest host (forget his name) a lawyer who was excellent and a refreshing breeze of needed pizzaz on the show, along with a group of high-profile lawyers who defend well-known people in the entertainment business and actor Daniel Baldwin, discussing and analyzing the latest Lohan case and her recent relapse. Access Hollywood's Billy Bush was also a guest.
Baldwin, who has his own issues with drugs and/or alcohol abuse and has been in and out of rehab. himself, elaborated on the psyche of the addict and that Lohan - or anyone with addiction problems - has to address the underlying psychological problem, which causes the addiction before being be "cured." Given her (Lohan's) upbringing and lack of parental guidance thereof and her sudden thrust into the limelight (and fame) at a young age, her response was to turn to drugs and alcohol for solace. Baldwin also emphasized that she will have to hit rock bottom and acknowledge that she has hit rock bottom.
Speaking of the parents...Lindsay's dad put in an appearance and it seems that he has seen the light and has turned to religion for solace. Good for him. However his conversion has impelled if not compelled him to preach his beliefs to the apparently not-ready-to-hear-Lindsay and as a result, has been in trouble with the law regarding his over-zealousness.
The general concensus among the guests was that she could get sentenced for a long as in 6 mnths. or more stay once again in rehab., or given the fact that she's got a drunken driving charge over her head already and committed the same offense again, could do real time in a federal prison. It will be interesting to see if she will get the celebrity version of a sentence or be treated in the same manner as anyone else.
Seems that according to Lohan, she's now hinting that she was framed...or something similar but is definitely not admitting that the drug(s) found on her were in fact hers. After Bush e-mailed Lohan to inquire as to how she was doing, she e-mailed him back stating, "Yes. I am innocent...did not do drugs, they're not mine. I was almost hit by my assistsant, Tarin's mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy."
Sure Lindsay. Anything you say.
Oh well... Looks like she'll have a lot of time to think about it - behind bars unless she wises up.
Read the Access Hollywood story here:http://www.accesshollywood.com/news/ah6192.shtml
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Baldwin, who has his own issues with drugs and/or alcohol abuse and has been in and out of rehab. himself, elaborated on the psyche of the addict and that Lohan - or anyone with addiction problems - has to address the underlying psychological problem, which causes the addiction before being be "cured." Given her (Lohan's) upbringing and lack of parental guidance thereof and her sudden thrust into the limelight (and fame) at a young age, her response was to turn to drugs and alcohol for solace. Baldwin also emphasized that she will have to hit rock bottom and acknowledge that she has hit rock bottom.
Speaking of the parents...Lindsay's dad put in an appearance and it seems that he has seen the light and has turned to religion for solace. Good for him. However his conversion has impelled if not compelled him to preach his beliefs to the apparently not-ready-to-hear-Lindsay and as a result, has been in trouble with the law regarding his over-zealousness.
The general concensus among the guests was that she could get sentenced for a long as in 6 mnths. or more stay once again in rehab., or given the fact that she's got a drunken driving charge over her head already and committed the same offense again, could do real time in a federal prison. It will be interesting to see if she will get the celebrity version of a sentence or be treated in the same manner as anyone else.
Seems that according to Lohan, she's now hinting that she was framed...or something similar but is definitely not admitting that the drug(s) found on her were in fact hers. After Bush e-mailed Lohan to inquire as to how she was doing, she e-mailed him back stating, "Yes. I am innocent...did not do drugs, they're not mine. I was almost hit by my assistsant, Tarin's mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy."
Sure Lindsay. Anything you say.
Oh well... Looks like she'll have a lot of time to think about it - behind bars unless she wises up.
Read the Access Hollywood story here:http://www.accesshollywood.com/news/ah6192.shtml
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Saturday, July 21, 2007
WELL-KNOWN COMEDIANS PLAY IT "JUST FOR LAUGHS" IN MONTREAL NO LESS!
One thing that can be said about Montreal at this time of the year is that things take a funny turn. It's all due to the fact that the annual "Just for Laughs Comedy Festival" comes to town along with the appearance of some of the best known stand-ups accross the world.
In the past Jerry Seinfeld, Ray Romano, Jon Stewart and other famous or recognized "names" have made their name doing gigs "back when." This year William Shatner who is now as famous for his TV selling as his Capt. Kirk role, hosted a Gala comedy show as is Billy Connelly. All-in-all -Montreal bubbles-over with laughter and the place where humor rules. Pure entertainment and then some.
The names and comedians may have changed but the jokes and comedy are still the same with jokes that "slay." Here's a sampling of some of the best:"
"In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk. Ladies, you fake orgasms. We fake listening."
"I'm a black male, over 40, with no kids, living in the suburbs they wanted to put me in a museum. Why did I move to the suburbs? I started watching Desperate Housewives. If comedy didn't work out I can always try gardening."
"Women like jewelry. They're like racoons: show them some shiny stuff and they'll follow you home."
(Alonzo Bodden)
"I was in college: I went to I.O.U." "I was studying psychology and then I went straight into therapy."
"Twenty five years ago there were no computers. Can you imagine your job without solitaire?"
(Wendy Liebman)
"Marriage is built on paranoia and mistrust. I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and she wakes up out of dead sleep to say where are you going? Why, to have sex with the midget I store in the medicine closet,"
( Tom Papa)
"If the food needed pepper, it should be on it."
(Michael McIntyre (a Brit) on obsequious waiters)
"I told my mother I wanted to grow up and be a comedian. She said you can't do both."
"I was just at the airport. Those treadmills they've got are huge."
"My friend said you have to read this book, it's a page turner. Well, I know how books work." (Jimmy Carr)
"I'm proud of my grandfather. He shot down two German planes. Unfortunately this was in 1972, but you can never be too careful."
(John Moloney)
"In Dubai I got a throat infection and I coughed up phlegm and accidentally ordered a taxi to the airport."
(Sean Meo)
"You know you're fat when you drop something and say do I need that'?"
(Robert Kelly)
"In the German lottery, they don't pick six winning numbers. No, they eee-eliminate 43 numbers."
(John Moloney)
"Over 100 metres, crocodiles are faster than horses.. Don't know how many horses it took to prove that."
"Corn-fed, farm-reared chicken, good at tennis. I don't want to know about his childhood. I just want to eat the bloody thing."
(Danny Bhoy)
"People assume life in hell is hell. But they've got it all wrong. The devil looks on fondly on the sinners. He tells them: You've lied. You've cheated. You've stolen. Why, you've done the devil's bidding. Help yourself to drugs and hookers forever.' It's heaven that has to be the eternal bore."
(Jim Jeffries)
"Just caught CNN's Larry King and Britney Spears on the tube in a meeting of the mind."
(Dave Attell)
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
In the past Jerry Seinfeld, Ray Romano, Jon Stewart and other famous or recognized "names" have made their name doing gigs "back when." This year William Shatner who is now as famous for his TV selling as his Capt. Kirk role, hosted a Gala comedy show as is Billy Connelly. All-in-all -Montreal bubbles-over with laughter and the place where humor rules. Pure entertainment and then some.
The names and comedians may have changed but the jokes and comedy are still the same with jokes that "slay." Here's a sampling of some of the best:"
"In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk. Ladies, you fake orgasms. We fake listening."
"I'm a black male, over 40, with no kids, living in the suburbs they wanted to put me in a museum. Why did I move to the suburbs? I started watching Desperate Housewives. If comedy didn't work out I can always try gardening."
"Women like jewelry. They're like racoons: show them some shiny stuff and they'll follow you home."
(Alonzo Bodden)
"I was in college: I went to I.O.U." "I was studying psychology and then I went straight into therapy."
"Twenty five years ago there were no computers. Can you imagine your job without solitaire?"
(Wendy Liebman)
"Marriage is built on paranoia and mistrust. I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and she wakes up out of dead sleep to say where are you going? Why, to have sex with the midget I store in the medicine closet,"
( Tom Papa)
"If the food needed pepper, it should be on it."
(Michael McIntyre (a Brit) on obsequious waiters)
"I told my mother I wanted to grow up and be a comedian. She said you can't do both."
"I was just at the airport. Those treadmills they've got are huge."
"My friend said you have to read this book, it's a page turner. Well, I know how books work." (Jimmy Carr)
"I'm proud of my grandfather. He shot down two German planes. Unfortunately this was in 1972, but you can never be too careful."
(John Moloney)
"In Dubai I got a throat infection and I coughed up phlegm and accidentally ordered a taxi to the airport."
(Sean Meo)
"You know you're fat when you drop something and say do I need that'?"
(Robert Kelly)
"In the German lottery, they don't pick six winning numbers. No, they eee-eliminate 43 numbers."
(John Moloney)
"Over 100 metres, crocodiles are faster than horses.. Don't know how many horses it took to prove that."
"Corn-fed, farm-reared chicken, good at tennis. I don't want to know about his childhood. I just want to eat the bloody thing."
(Danny Bhoy)
"People assume life in hell is hell. But they've got it all wrong. The devil looks on fondly on the sinners. He tells them: You've lied. You've cheated. You've stolen. Why, you've done the devil's bidding. Help yourself to drugs and hookers forever.' It's heaven that has to be the eternal bore."
(Jim Jeffries)
"Just caught CNN's Larry King and Britney Spears on the tube in a meeting of the mind."
(Dave Attell)
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Saturday, July 14, 2007
PARIS FOLLOW-UP...THE BECKHAMS ARRIVE..."LITTLE BRITAIN" - U.S. STYLE
Just when the world assumed or hoped, anyway, that they had heard the last of or at the very least had a rest from Paris Hilton, now comes word that she's being investigated for having special privileges during her stint behind bars...or the equivalent.
Seems that the Los Angeles County Sherriff's Department has opened an investigation to determine whether she received special treatment. To quote Homer Simpson: "doh!"
The internal investation will determine - wait for it - whether the heiress had access to a cell phone when all the other inmates had to wait in line to use your regular pay phones. As if this isn't bad enough they will also be looking into whether she was given a new jail uniform instead of a recycled one like most of the other inmates. Last but not least, they will be looking into whether she had her mail delivered by a captain given that most mail is delivered by inmate trusties.
Such crucial issues!
U.S. VERSION OF "LITTLE BRITAIN" COMING TO TV SCREENS
As an occasional viewer of the British comedy series, "Little Britain", which can definitely be described as naughty bordering on dirty, it comes as a surprise that there are plans to bring the series to this side of the ocean. The series that created the characters Vicky Pollard and "I'm the only gay in the village" Daffyd famous, will feature a mix of existing characters from their BBC shows and new ones who will depict contemporary America.
The series will be shows on HBO and actors Matt Lucas and David Williams will make it viewable for U.S. audiences in fall 2008.
source: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/television/news/e3i1d96f56a2f843689bdac29b52238ecb4
DAVID BEKHAM AND POSH SPICE TODAYS CELEBRITIES OF THE HOUR?
Since the arrival of Posh Spice and her (more famous?) soccer star husband, David Bekham, it's been non-stop photos of the couple who have arrived on this side of the pond. He's here to play for his new team, The Galaxy, while Posh plays...herself in a special about...Posh, "Victoria Bekham: Coming to America" and part of the Spice Girls reunion tour.
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Seems that the Los Angeles County Sherriff's Department has opened an investigation to determine whether she received special treatment. To quote Homer Simpson: "doh!"
The internal investation will determine - wait for it - whether the heiress had access to a cell phone when all the other inmates had to wait in line to use your regular pay phones. As if this isn't bad enough they will also be looking into whether she was given a new jail uniform instead of a recycled one like most of the other inmates. Last but not least, they will be looking into whether she had her mail delivered by a captain given that most mail is delivered by inmate trusties.
Such crucial issues!
U.S. VERSION OF "LITTLE BRITAIN" COMING TO TV SCREENS
As an occasional viewer of the British comedy series, "Little Britain", which can definitely be described as naughty bordering on dirty, it comes as a surprise that there are plans to bring the series to this side of the ocean. The series that created the characters Vicky Pollard and "I'm the only gay in the village" Daffyd famous, will feature a mix of existing characters from their BBC shows and new ones who will depict contemporary America.
The series will be shows on HBO and actors Matt Lucas and David Williams will make it viewable for U.S. audiences in fall 2008.
source: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/television/news/e3i1d96f56a2f843689bdac29b52238ecb4
DAVID BEKHAM AND POSH SPICE TODAYS CELEBRITIES OF THE HOUR?
Since the arrival of Posh Spice and her (more famous?) soccer star husband, David Bekham, it's been non-stop photos of the couple who have arrived on this side of the pond. He's here to play for his new team, The Galaxy, while Posh plays...herself in a special about...Posh, "Victoria Bekham: Coming to America" and part of the Spice Girls reunion tour.
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
HOMER TO VISIT SPRINGFIELD, VT...IVANKA SAYS "THANKS BUT NO THANKS" TO THE VIEW...NEW USE FOR CAVIAR
Being that it's summer and always a slow-ish time in news, what better way to spend idle hours than to catch up on some celebrity gossip or updates.
Still waiting to hear who the new host will be for "The View" and hoping that either Whoopie Goldberg or comedian, Kathy Griffin will be the new addition. Speaking or writing about The View, one person who is definitely not interested is Ivanka Trump, who reports in People magazine that "there's zero chance I would do that." Hey - works for me since I don't think she's out-going enough to handle the job. Maybe dad, though, would be interested.
It's official. The town of Springfield, Vermont, population 9,300 has been selected to show the premiere of The Simpson's movie on July 21. In selecting the Vermont town 13 other Springfields in the U.S. were reported to have commented, "d'oh" upon learning the news.
Some people prefer theirs on a wafer while others like actress, Catherine Zeta-Jones prefers her caviar applied directly on her hair for that extra-healthy look. Not only caviar but truffles too. Seems that the Beluga (no less) is flown in from Iran five days ahead of her salon treatments in England at a cost of £200 a shot. Let's hope she doesn't run into any cats.
News you don't need to might might want to know:
According to her blog, Tori Spelling is now an ordained minister. For her first...act as Minister Tory, she united "Tony and Dex as life partners in love."
Still waiting to hear who the new host will be for "The View" and hoping that either Whoopie Goldberg or comedian, Kathy Griffin will be the new addition. Speaking or writing about The View, one person who is definitely not interested is Ivanka Trump, who reports in People magazine that "there's zero chance I would do that." Hey - works for me since I don't think she's out-going enough to handle the job. Maybe dad, though, would be interested.
It's official. The town of Springfield, Vermont, population 9,300 has been selected to show the premiere of The Simpson's movie on July 21. In selecting the Vermont town 13 other Springfields in the U.S. were reported to have commented, "d'oh" upon learning the news.
Some people prefer theirs on a wafer while others like actress, Catherine Zeta-Jones prefers her caviar applied directly on her hair for that extra-healthy look. Not only caviar but truffles too. Seems that the Beluga (no less) is flown in from Iran five days ahead of her salon treatments in England at a cost of £200 a shot. Let's hope she doesn't run into any cats.
News you don't need to might might want to know:
According to her blog, Tori Spelling is now an ordained minister. For her first...act as Minister Tory, she united "Tony and Dex as life partners in love."
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
MICHAEL MOORE GETS DOWN AND NASTY
Love him or hate him, one thing for sure is that Michael Moore, he of "Sicko" fame sure knows how to get attention. For example yesterday, Monday, July 9, Moore took on CNN's Wolf Blitzer leaving the veteran reporter more-or-less speechless. A bitter tirade of words flowed out of Moore's mouth as he touched upon subjects that included Iraq and the criticism of some of his facts in "Sicko."
As expected YouTube has the visuals here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJL1ax4KdoY
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
As expected YouTube has the visuals here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJL1ax4KdoY
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
DID YOU HEAR THE JOKE ABOUT...
Just wondering - I do that a lot - if there are people reading this who are joke-deprived. By joke-deprived I'm not referring to the actual act of "getting" or appreciating when someone relates a funny story. I'm referring here to the actual act of telling or re-telling a joke that was told to them.
Y'see - I can't.
Well... I could if it was socially acceptable or allowable to carry the joke around on a piece of paper and read it aloud. However, I can't envision sitting at a table with - let's say - a business aquaintance and whipping out a cue card from my purse and then saying, "hey - did 'ya hear the one about..." after which I would recite it.
On the rare occasion that I've attempted to re-tell a joke, either I forgot the punch line or relate the joke incorrectly. Then I get hurt when nobody laughs or there's a puzzled expression on their face.
It leads one to wonder if there's a secret in joke telling and to this end a search on the Web revealed some hints in an article printed in Reader's Digest, with some hints passed on by some well-known comedians.
Comedian Jay Leno advises people to keep it simple.
"If you just do a joke about the funny noise that potato chips make when you bite into them, you'll get more laughs. Jokes work best when they're easy to understand," Leno advises.
Meanwhile, Conan O'Brien advises:
"The most important thing is to keep it short. It's like knowing when to leave the table in Vegas. Get your laugh or, if you're lucky, laughs, and then get off the stage. If you don't trust yourself, hire a friend to tackle you after four minutes."
So now I'm wondering (and admittedly hoping) that there are others like me "out there" that suffer from this affliction. If so - let's share angst and pass on some joke-telling advice and/or hints
By the way - heard any good jokes lately?
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Y'see - I can't.
Well... I could if it was socially acceptable or allowable to carry the joke around on a piece of paper and read it aloud. However, I can't envision sitting at a table with - let's say - a business aquaintance and whipping out a cue card from my purse and then saying, "hey - did 'ya hear the one about..." after which I would recite it.
On the rare occasion that I've attempted to re-tell a joke, either I forgot the punch line or relate the joke incorrectly. Then I get hurt when nobody laughs or there's a puzzled expression on their face.
It leads one to wonder if there's a secret in joke telling and to this end a search on the Web revealed some hints in an article printed in Reader's Digest, with some hints passed on by some well-known comedians.
Comedian Jay Leno advises people to keep it simple.
"If you just do a joke about the funny noise that potato chips make when you bite into them, you'll get more laughs. Jokes work best when they're easy to understand," Leno advises.
Meanwhile, Conan O'Brien advises:
"The most important thing is to keep it short. It's like knowing when to leave the table in Vegas. Get your laugh or, if you're lucky, laughs, and then get off the stage. If you don't trust yourself, hire a friend to tackle you after four minutes."
So now I'm wondering (and admittedly hoping) that there are others like me "out there" that suffer from this affliction. If so - let's share angst and pass on some joke-telling advice and/or hints
By the way - heard any good jokes lately?
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Monday, July 02, 2007
U.S. PRESIDENTS ARE CHEESY
There are many ways as there choices in which to enjoy and savor cheese but in this world, there exists people who feel the need - nay the necessity - to take cheese to the next level.
Cheese lover, Troy Landwehr of Little Chute, Wisconsin, a state that knows something about this milk product, has created, carved and immortalized four U.S. president in cheddar. Seems the cheese carver has had this habit for almost twenty years and he began his first cheesy replica, the Batman logo, twenty years ago. His latest creation resembling those at Mount Rushmore includes Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln.
There is no information supplied as to the choice of cheddar instead of say stilton, mozzarella, provolone or others but cheddar does have a firm texture, which would make a good carving surface.
He will be promoting his sculpture in New York before it - the cheese - goes on tour where it will be stored, hopefully and presumably, in a rodent-free environment. Ultimately, the cheese quartet will end up in Oklahome where it will be cut up into cubes.
The cheese sculptor was commissed to make the sculpture by a cracker company.
Here's a photo of Landwehr in all his cheesiness:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6258058.stm
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Cheese lover, Troy Landwehr of Little Chute, Wisconsin, a state that knows something about this milk product, has created, carved and immortalized four U.S. president in cheddar. Seems the cheese carver has had this habit for almost twenty years and he began his first cheesy replica, the Batman logo, twenty years ago. His latest creation resembling those at Mount Rushmore includes Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln.
There is no information supplied as to the choice of cheddar instead of say stilton, mozzarella, provolone or others but cheddar does have a firm texture, which would make a good carving surface.
He will be promoting his sculpture in New York before it - the cheese - goes on tour where it will be stored, hopefully and presumably, in a rodent-free environment. Ultimately, the cheese quartet will end up in Oklahome where it will be cut up into cubes.
The cheese sculptor was commissed to make the sculpture by a cracker company.
Here's a photo of Landwehr in all his cheesiness:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6258058.stm
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
SHE'S OUUUUUUT! PARIS & LARRY KING: THE INTERVIEW?
At time of writing - afternoon - Paris Hilton, she of the "orange-is-so-tacky" will be giving her first (but probably not last) interview with CNN's Larry King tonight. Guaranteed Larry will be asking her the really tough questions that he is known for, perhaps something like this:
"So Paris - tell us the truth. We heard you were constipated due to the lack of a balanced diet in jail. Is this true and if so, who do you blame?"
And she will answer:"Well Garry..."
"That would be Larry..."
"Oh yeah. All those names sound alike. Like I told all you media people, I've seen the light. Gawd - how could I miss it being on day and night and night and day..."
"Your diet, Paris?"
"Oh yeah. Well...um... Where was I? Where's my good book?"
"You mean your Bible?"
"No silly man! I mean, my black book full of phone numbers of my friends!"
"Now about the prison food?"
"Well Harry..."
"Larry...Larry! My name is Larry!"
"Yeah. Whatever... The food was blechy. Really blechy. Actually, it was the presentation that spoiled it all. My daddy - he's very rich y'know - my daddy always tells his chefs that presentation is everything. I mean, macaroni can look so much better when you - um - something like that. They should hire me! Maybe I can start a new career!"
"So Paris - the whole wide world - is waiting to know about the constipation issue. Were you or weren't you?"
"Excuse me camera people - are you getting my best side? Were I or weren't I what?"
"Oh Paris - you're a real riot, girl! Constipated!"
"Constipated? What does that mean? Why don't we stick to the important questions like my new hair shade. D'ya like it, Barry?"
"It's Larry, Paris!"
"Ohmygawd! You have the same last name as my first name! Isn't that like...so funny? Maybe we're related! Do you own any Hilton hotels? Are you sure you people are catching my best side?
Something like that.
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
"So Paris - tell us the truth. We heard you were constipated due to the lack of a balanced diet in jail. Is this true and if so, who do you blame?"
And she will answer:"Well Garry..."
"That would be Larry..."
"Oh yeah. All those names sound alike. Like I told all you media people, I've seen the light. Gawd - how could I miss it being on day and night and night and day..."
"Your diet, Paris?"
"Oh yeah. Well...um... Where was I? Where's my good book?"
"You mean your Bible?"
"No silly man! I mean, my black book full of phone numbers of my friends!"
"Now about the prison food?"
"Well Harry..."
"Larry...Larry! My name is Larry!"
"Yeah. Whatever... The food was blechy. Really blechy. Actually, it was the presentation that spoiled it all. My daddy - he's very rich y'know - my daddy always tells his chefs that presentation is everything. I mean, macaroni can look so much better when you - um - something like that. They should hire me! Maybe I can start a new career!"
"So Paris - the whole wide world - is waiting to know about the constipation issue. Were you or weren't you?"
"Excuse me camera people - are you getting my best side? Were I or weren't I what?"
"Oh Paris - you're a real riot, girl! Constipated!"
"Constipated? What does that mean? Why don't we stick to the important questions like my new hair shade. D'ya like it, Barry?"
"It's Larry, Paris!"
"Ohmygawd! You have the same last name as my first name! Isn't that like...so funny? Maybe we're related! Do you own any Hilton hotels? Are you sure you people are catching my best side?
Something like that.
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
Friday, June 22, 2007
TURNING THE CAMERA ON MICHAEL MOORE: NOT SO NICE
One thing for sure: wherever and whenever a Michael Moore film is released to the public, controversy follows. There is no denying that this is a documentary film maker who excels in getting the public to pay attention and then get them into the theatres, whereupon he presents his view of the subject at hand. For many people, therein lies the problem. As Moore himself has stated that a documentary film maker presents a point of view, period.
There is some irony in that the film makers - Debbie Melnyk and Rick Caine are Canadians and in their film "Manufacturing Dissent", they turn their lens on Moore himself.The embryo for making their film is intriguing in that it started out as an attempt for the duo to speak with Moore, who at that time was their hero when it came to making doc. films. However, Moore for whatever reason, had no interest in talking to them. Not such a good idea since they ended up making a movie examining Moore and the validity of his methods in acquiring and using background information for his docs. Also interesting to note the content for their film was not acquired through Moore himself but through friends, former friends and colleagues.
Read the interviews and then go see the film. I plan to.
Trailer for film on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3IUU7a4wB0
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
There is some irony in that the film makers - Debbie Melnyk and Rick Caine are Canadians and in their film "Manufacturing Dissent", they turn their lens on Moore himself.The embryo for making their film is intriguing in that it started out as an attempt for the duo to speak with Moore, who at that time was their hero when it came to making doc. films. However, Moore for whatever reason, had no interest in talking to them. Not such a good idea since they ended up making a movie examining Moore and the validity of his methods in acquiring and using background information for his docs. Also interesting to note the content for their film was not acquired through Moore himself but through friends, former friends and colleagues.
Read the interviews and then go see the film. I plan to.
Trailer for film on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3IUU7a4wB0
Writers & Friends
www.jrslater.com/forum
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