Hey - wanna rent a Swiss cow?

A Swiss farmer who is/was a little short on cash has found a unique use for his cows, Maxime, Wanda and Lynn. By paying a small rental fee of 80£ interested persons can visit the trio as frequently as they please, milk them and la-créme-de-la-créme, have their photo taken with the cow of their choice.

As if all that weren't enough, they also get a discount on bread and cheese sold on the farm and the opportunity to spend a weekend in an Alpine chalet by the lake in summer, where the cows are put out to graze. One wonders, though, how the cows feel about the arrangement:

MAXIME

Oh no - not another one of...'those'

WANDA

How much more indignity do we hav'ta put up with?

LYNN

Look ladies. It's either that or we're tonight's steak dinner

MAXIME

True...true... It's just that they have such cold hands

LYNN

At least if the farmer would suggest warming them before milking us

WANDA

Listen - I heard that a human up on the Vinkeberstistat farm tried to milk old Hans, the bull. He was not amused, let me tell you (the trio all laugh uproariously)

Maxime

Now I hear that they're going to follow us up by the lake during summer. I mean,we have rights too!

LYNN

We're cows, Maxime! You've been peaking through the farmer's window watching Court TV again, haven't you? Rights - ha!

WANDA

The least the farmer can do is renovate our stall with some of the money he makes

LYNN

Wanda...Wanda...Wanda... Still watching home renovation shows. Get it through your head that we live in a barn, period! Got that?

MAXIME

A cow can dream, can't she?

WANDA

Uh-oh! Heads up. Here comes another one. Just close your eyes and pretend we're being milked by Justin Timberlake.

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