Oh darn! Somehow I missed celebrating Festivus by just one day. To top it all off I forgot to send out reminders to my enemies as well as friends that I could be planning but not necessarily, throw a celebration to mark the day.
According to Wikipedia, Festivus is an annual holiday that was adapted from ancient Roman practices by writer and editor, Daniel O'Keefe and was introduced to the world by O'Keefe's son, Daniel, a scriptwriter for Seinfeld on December 18, 1997 in the episode, "The Strike." The rest as they say is history and now Festivus is celebrated on December 23.
So if I had gone through with my plans to throw a Festivus gala, for sure I would have "The Festivus Pole" with the essential ingredient being a piece of dull metal. I'm thinking here I would have used the bottom half of my patio umbrella that became separated from the top part, on a windy day. I mean, it's a little dented at the bottom but it would be the perfect thing for combining it with the Feats of Strength challenge, whereby two opponents could try and bend it with one hand tied behind their backs, culminating in one being thrown to the ground. For another type of strength test, a Toothpick Challenge featuring participants attempting to see how many toothpicks can be inserted between teeth, would have been a fun diversion. There could be a few splinters on lips but it's a small price to be able to claim participation in a Festivus activity. Of course the very exciting knuckle-crunching challenge would be held to see who could make the loudest noise.
Once everyone is thoroughly exhausted, we would have sat down and partaken in the Airing of Grievances. For sure there would probably be a lot of finger-pointing and accusations and some swearing would be involved but in the end, we'd all feel better. Maybe some of us wouldn't be speaking to each other but we would air our grievances and that's what's important, here.
In the way of a Festivus menu for sure green been casserole would have been served, along with yellow aspic for some coordinating color. There would be grilled cheese sandwiches for the main dish and for dessert, Festivus fruit cake of course.
Alas...it will all have to wait until next year, that is if I remember to send out invitations. Maybe.