Saturday, December 29, 2007

BRITNEY, ADNAN AND A HOROSCOPE PREDICTION FOR BRIT

Eeny....meeny....minee...mo...

Out for a night of...whatever, Britney Spears recently selected LA paparazzo, Adnan Ghalib, to accompany her for a heart-to-heart talk about life/whatever in a hotel room. Now Ghalib is singing his own tune in an interview to explain what went on between the couple.

"I think, God's honest truth, I think she's a great person. I really do," Ghalib said. "She's young. … She's never made the best choices in friends, even her relationships."

To say the least.

Read the rest of what Brit-Brit-'s new "friend" had to reveal in an interview with ABC news here:
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=4056475&page=1


Now what about Brit-Brit's future?

According to astrologer, Susan Miller, Britney's future mate will be "very financial, practical and stable. He'll be 7 years older and will know how to handle money - a manager-type."

Miller also said that Spears' 'bank account is going to explode with money' in the second half of 2008, the result of either recording a new album or other residuals. Jamie Lynn, who announced her pregnancy on Dec. 19, is a budding star, according to Miller.

"Her career is going to take off like a rocket next year! It'll never be better in her whole life," she said.The astrologer further said that Jamie Lynn's Aries sign shows that she's a 'good entertainer, a budding star.'"She's more of a musician. There's someone standing right behind her," she added.

Yeah...whatever.

I'll look into my own crystal ball and predict that in the next few days, Britney will be driving her car in places where she knows she will be photographed and the crystal also reveals paparazzi trailing close behind. Furthermore...she will visit the bathroom on more than one occasion.

Read the rest of Miller's fear(ful)less prediction here: http://www.thecheers.org/news/Celebrity/news_5467_What-the-stars-hold-for-Britney-Spears-Jamie-Lynn-and-Lynne-Spears-revealed.html

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Paris will be poor...or at least 97% poorer


Oh dear. Seems that grandpa Hilton is very embarrassed by his granddaughter, Paris's behavior. You know - clubbing, drinking, sleeping around - the usual stuff that bored, rich heiresses do. To show his displeasure he has committed 97% of his fortune to a charitable foundation. Even then, I'm sure, the next generation of Hiltons has mucho money in their own right salted away somewhere where the tax people can't/won't ever find it.

As for Paris... Whatever happened to her self-proclaimed "I-see-the-light" change of consciousness that she had in jail? Did I say jail? You know that place where she was inconvenienced for a few days and didn't have access to the important things in her life like shopping, night clubs, jetting from country-to-country, posing for magazine covers. Those things. I mean, jail being so tacky and having to wear that vile orange-colored jump suit, she needed something substantial to cling to and found solace in the Bible. Not that there's anything wrong with that and the Good Book has a lot of good advice. Paris being Paris, the new-found spiritual enlightenment lasted maybe a month and then it was on to what Paris does best: clubbing and getting paid to show up at parties.

We all remember how she pledged to make our planet a better place and vowed upon her release to help the less fortunate around the world. Course 'less fortunate' in Paris's mind could have been people who didn't know how to coordinate their clothes properly. Somebody has to tell them!

Anyway, when asked for comments about her grandfather's decision, she hasn't as yet said anything. And when and if she does, for sure it will be something really important like, "did I tell you all about my new line of perfume?" Or "do you know anybody that wants to be my boyfriend?"

Good for Grandpa Hilton!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US WHO REMEMBER

Oh darn! Somehow I missed celebrating Festivus by just one day. To top it all off I forgot to send out reminders to my enemies as well as friends that I could be planning but not necessarily, throw a celebration to mark the day.


According to Wikipedia, Festivus is an annual holiday that was adapted from ancient Roman practices by writer and editor, Daniel O'Keefe and was introduced to the world by O'Keefe's son, Daniel, a scriptwriter for Seinfeld on December 18, 1997 in the episode, "The Strike." The rest as they say is history and now Festivus is celebrated on December 23.


So if I had gone through with my plans to throw a Festivus gala, for sure I would have "The Festivus Pole" with the essential ingredient being a piece of dull metal. I'm thinking here I would have used the bottom half of my patio umbrella that became separated from the top part, on a windy day. I mean, it's a little dented at the bottom but it would be the perfect thing for combining it with the Feats of Strength challenge, whereby two opponents could try and bend it with one hand tied behind their backs, culminating in one being thrown to the ground. For another type of strength test, a Toothpick Challenge featuring participants attempting to see how many toothpicks can be inserted between teeth, would have been a fun diversion. There could be a few splinters on lips but it's a small price to be able to claim participation in a Festivus activity. Of course the very exciting knuckle-crunching challenge would be held to see who could make the loudest noise.

Once everyone is thoroughly exhausted, we would have sat down and partaken in the Airing of Grievances. For sure there would probably be a lot of finger-pointing and accusations and some swearing would be involved but in the end, we'd all feel better. Maybe some of us wouldn't be speaking to each other but we would air our grievances and that's what's important, here.

In the way of a Festivus menu for sure green been casserole would have been served, along with yellow aspic for some coordinating color. There would be grilled cheese sandwiches for the main dish and for dessert, Festivus fruit cake of course.

Alas...it will all have to wait until next year, that is if I remember to send out invitations. Maybe.

Monday, December 24, 2007

MAN SUES 8 YEAR OLD SKIER FOR BUMPING INTO HIM

What is it with people that they will use any incident in an attempt to get money for any boo-boo? In this case it concerns a 60 year old man suing an 8 year old boy.

A 60-year-old man is taking an 8-year-old boy and his dad to court, claiming the boy caused a ski-slope collision that left the older man with a shoulder injury.

David J. Pfahler of Allentown, Pa., sued in federal court in Denver, claiming Scott Swimm, then 7, was skiing fast and recklessly when they collided in January, the Vail Daily reported Thursday. The suit claims Pfahler suffered a torn shoulder tendon and seeks compensation for physical therapy, vacation time, nursing and medical services provided by Pfahler's wife, and other expenses. It estimates the couple's losses at more than $75,000.

We're talking about a then 7 year old kid, here, who wants nothing more than to spend a fun day on the slopes.

Scott's father, Robb Swimm, said that he saw the crash and that Scott was skiing slowly and in control.

"It wasn't a violent collision or anything; Scott just kind of tapped his ski boots," he said this week.

Scott's mother, Susan Swimm, said her son weighs 48 pounds and couldn't have been going more than 10 mph. By the way Scott is in the third grade.

"Who in the world sues a child?" she said. "It just boggles my mind every day."

Amen Mrs. Swimm!

Pfahler's Denver attorney, Jim Chalat, declined to comment on specifics but says Pfahler, who works for Reader's Digest, wants to go back to work.

Bah-humbug to Mr. Phafler!


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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

ITALIAN COURT RULES CHILD CAN'T BE CALLED FRIDAY

This is one for the it-makes-you-wonder-about-parents department and what they name their offspring.

In Italy, a couple was told that legally they couldn't name their son - wait for it - "Friday" and instead, ordered that he be called Gregory after the saint whose feast day he was born on.

Friday??? Who would name their child...after a day in the week, anyway?

"I think it is ridiculous they even opened a case about it," the family's lawyer, Paola Rossi, told Reuters by telephone from the northern city of Genoa on Tuesday.

The child, Friday/Gregory Germano was born in Genoa 15 months ago. The parents registered him as Friday in the city hall and a priest even baptised him as Friday -- unusual in Italy since many priests insist that first names be of Christian origin.

"We named him Friday because we like the sound of the name. Even if it would have been a girl, we would have named her Friday," the boy's mother, Mara Germano, told Reuters.

Can you imagine the life of ridicule a child would or could face given the name of a day of the week?

"Oh Friday - where's Saturday?" springs to mind followed by other days of the week.

When the boy was about five months old, a city hall clerk brought the odd name to the attention of a tribunal, which informed the couple of an administrative norm which bars parents from giving "ridiculous or shameful" first names to children.

The tribunal said it was protecting the child from being the butt of jokes and added that it believed the name would hinder him from developing "serene interpersonal relationships".

The Germano family appealed but lost their case this month and the story was carried on the front page of a national newspaper on Tuesday.When ordered to change the name, the parents refused and the court ruled the boy would be legally registered as Gregory because he was born on that saint's feast day.

"I really doubt this would have happened to the child of parents who are rich and famous," the boy's mother told Reuters, recalling that some famous Italians had given their children unorthodox names such as "Ocean" or "Chanel".

The appeals court ruled against Friday because it recalled the servile savage in Daniel Defoe's novel Robinson Crusoe and because superstitious Italians consider Friday an unlucky day."I am livid about this," the boy's mother said. "A court should not waste its time with things like this when there is so much more to worry about."My son was born Friday, baptised Friday, will call himself Friday, we will call him Friday but when he gets older he will have to sign his name Gregory," she said.

Basically, it comes down to whether or not the court has/had the right to tell parents what they can or cannot name their children. However, it makes you wonder what (if any) they will name subsequent children.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

...NOTHING BUT THE TWOOTH...

Word going round is that Tweety, the famous bird who sings like a canary and the scoorge of Sylvester the cat, is all nervous and a-twitter these days. Seems that the bird along with Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and his girlfriend, Daisy Duck - if you can believe it - were supposed to testify in a counterfeiting case. The famous duck couple were known to be all quacked up about having to testify under oath.

An Italian court ordered the animated bird, along with Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and his girlfriend Daisy, to testify in a counterfeiting case. Although the 'toon trio were sent summons ordering them to testify on Friday in a trial in Naples, Italy, it's a clerical error.

Oh shoot! That would have been some testimony!

The court summons cites Titti, Paperino, Paperina, Topolino, the Italian names for the characters, as damaged parties in the criminal trial of a Chinese man accused of counterfeiting products of Disney and Warner Bros.

Instead of naming merely the companies and their legal representatives, clerks also listed the cartoon names, which decorate the toys and gadgets the man had reproduced.

According to Fiorenza Sorotto, vice president of Disney Company Italia, the characters won't be able to show up or testify.

Then again, if the cat got word that the bird was out of the cage, he could make his move against the bird. It would be the purrrrfect opportunity.

"It certainly pleased us that the characters were considered real, because that's what we try to do," Sorotto commented.

The Naples court will have to rewrite the summons, although this will probably delay the trial, said Disney lawyer Cristina Ravelli.

"Let's hope the characters will not be prosecuted for failing to appear," Ravelli quipped.

Calls seeking comment from Warner Bros. in Milan were not immediately returned. Phones at the Naples court were not answered Tuesday, however, when informed that she/he wouldn't be testifying, Tweety breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Good 'cause I tought I taw a puddy cat!"

Mickey, Donald and Daisy couldn't be reached for comment since it was nap time at the Toon Retirement Home.

Monday, December 10, 2007

So just where do Santa's reindeers live in off-season?

We all know where Santa lives in a comfy warm house along with Mrs. Claus, some elves and other assorted helpers, in the North Pole all year round. However, ever wonder where Santa's reindeer live? Also, just what specie of reindeer are these magical creatures, anyway?

The Alaska Fish and Game have the answers to this question in addition and other Santa related issues.

For example, in the "General Description and Differences Between Subspecies category, "among the common subspecies of reindeer, the largest bulls shed their antlers in late October and the small bulls and non-pregnant cows shed their antlers in April.

It is not known when or if Santa’s reindeer shed their antlers. We do know, from a few furtive sightings, that their antlers appear to be extremely velvety and robust in late December prior to their Christmas run. Santa’s reindeer also have the unique and remarkable ability to fly. The Claus’ have helped to further develop and condition this ability enabling them to fly great distances in a very short time period, provided they receive frequent carrot snacks."

Bet you didn't know that!

Anyway, there's a beautiful photographic image of Rudolph - the Rudoph:

http://www.adfg.state.ak.us/pubs/notebook/biggame/santasreindeer.php

FEELING CHILLY? TRY THE HEATED BRA!

Women living in cold climates or at least climates that experience winter for a good portion of the year, might welcome this new innovation or some would call it, gadget.

A leading lingerie company has joined Japan's fight against high fuel use, unveiling a heated bra for winter.

You read it right: a heated bra to keep your breasts nice and warm and cozy. Now how this fits into the big picture of fighting global warming is somewhat questionable.

The fluffy creation contains special pads filled with an eco-friendly gel that can be easily heated in a microwave oven or with a hot water bottle. The design also includes a furry boa designed to double as a winter scarf.

Lingerie giant Triumph unveiled the bra months after PM Junichiro Koizumi urged Japan's office workers to ditch ties to save on air conditioning.

Being padded, the new bra packs a little more bulk than most regular designs, but the Japanese arm of Triumph insisted the look was more chic than sheep.

Sheep?

"We hope this will not only help prevent global warming but also provide a little fashion chic to the office," the company said in a statement.

The bra, which comes only in white, also features a pendant shaped like a chili pepper dangling on its front.

Only in white? How unfashionable! And a chili pepper? The siginifigance one presumes is that the bra provides enough heat as when consuming a chili pepper. Or something similar... I dunno!

The boob warmer also comes with matching shorts but is not being offered for general sale and the two pieces are being promoted as a prototype product, the first step towards mass-producing eco-friendly clothing.

Japan's government is encouraging people not to set their domestic heating higher than 20C this winter, to reduce fuel consumption and conserve energy stocks.

During the summer, Mr Koizumi surprised Japan's traditionally well-dressed office workers by discarding his tie and urging his countrymen to do the same.

Just wondering how discarding a tie will help the environment. Perhaps it's a small effort to keep cool. Go know!

The drive to reduce air-conditioning use and thus greenhouse gas emissions was estimated to have saved enough power to supply 240,000 homes for a month.

Somehow and maybe it's just me but a bra that is heated in a microwave makes me a little nervous.

See a photo of the bra here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4420820.stm

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Sunday, December 09, 2007

ADAM SANDLER EXPRESSES HIS VIEW OF CHANUKAH IN SONG

For many Jews the holiday of Chanukah is the lighting of candles - 1 candle per day for 8 days - in a Chanukah menorah or candelabra and the playing of the dreidel game. It is also some good eating... Actually, many of Jewish-related activities includes food... Anyway, we're talking here about latkes or fried potato pancakes, jelly donuts(sufganiot)and other goodies.

However...if you wanna know what Chanukah is really about, watch this YouTube video with Adam Sandler and chorus. Enjoy - I do! Fun!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUFrt8oHbXQ&feature=related

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

PASSING GAS A NO-NO AT SOCIAL CLUB

Given all the serious problems in the world, this is really one for the "don't-they-have-anything-better-to-do" books.

A 77 year old pensioner no less, has been banned from his social club in Devon, England for passing gass or breaking wind as they say in jolly, old England. Here among friends we would say, he farted.

The victim/gas-ee, Maurice Fox, received a letter from the Kirkham Street Sports and Social Club in Panignton, advising him to consider his action, which club members believed was "disgusting."

Mr Fox said that the club letter was a surprise. I bet.

All of us at some time or the other have - well - passed gass unwillingly for various reasons. True it's not pleasant but it's a bodily function that we have no control over.

A club member for 20 years, Fox said, "I am happy to oblige them, there is no problem. I do get a bit windy - I am an old fart now."

He admitted to having to leave the club about three times a night.

In its letter,the club said: "After several complaints regarding your continual breaking of wind (farting) while in the club, would you please consider that your actions are considered disgusting to fellow members and visitors. You sit close to the front door, so would you please go outside when required. So please take heed of this request."

Presumably, he is expected to leave the room if he feels that a fart is on the way. Thing is it's difficult as many people will attest, to be able to differentiate a fart from just plain stomach rumbling.

Mr Fox, who lives nearby, said the letter was a surprise because he had been given no verbal warning.

He commented in his defence that although he makes a lot of noise, there is no odor.

"I think someone has complained about the noise. I am a loud farter, but there is no smell. I do not think it [the letter] is unreasonable. You get ladies in there."

Mr Fox also spends two days a week at the nearby Palace Place club, but said he had no complaints about flatulence there.

The club said there was no one available for comment.

Other than a social faux-pas, he hasn't committed anything that deserves being banned.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/devon/7126973.stm