Among newspaper writers and readers actually, it's known that the dog days of summer months bring forth or produce some "interesting" stories. Police dogs are known to save lives but somehow a police dog in Ogden, Utah got it wrong. The dog, Ranger, inadvertantly ran over a woman while sitting in a truck. Well - kind of. It wasn't his fault but the end result is that the woman was hospitalized with a fractured pelvis and tailbone. Read the story and tell me you didn't laugh...a little bit.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/07/13/AR2006071300652
*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*
It appears that some women will go to any extreme to find a cute guy and in this case, a cop. Perhaps she has "a thing" about men in blue but the woman who is middle-aged (not that it excuses her action or justifies it but anyway...) used the emergency 911 system to find "the cutest cop I've ever seen." Al-right... In any case she got to see more cops than she could ever hope for at her court date.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13862689/
Love those summer days - and stories.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Monday, July 03, 2006
LOBSTER ANGST: SO WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
It's getting to the point where it soon won't be politically correct to eat air! This thought went through my mind after reading a piece by Frank Bruni, a restaurant critic for the New York Times. In his piece Bruni discusses whether or not lobsters and other main courses suffer so that we humans can eat.
Personally, I'm not into lobsters because to be candid - it's those beady black eyes staring at me from a dinner plate that get to me. I've also never prepared lobsters -or any live crustaceans for that matter - since the guilt is enough to make me feel like a murderer. I'm also not into eating snails, dead or alive, due to the manner in which they live out their lives but then worms don't "do it" for me, either, although I will admit to sucking on a bug lollypop while taping a segment of a gardening show. In my defence we were discussing the edibility of some bugs like grasshoppers et al.
It also bothers me that lobsters live out the last few days of their lives in a holding tank with their claws bound up. Like, what do they (the people who catch losbsters) think they're gonna do? Maim or kill each other in the tank? Uh duh!
Researcher Clive Backster did some experiments back in 1966 using a lie detector to ascertain whether plants feel pain. His conclusion was that they (the plants) did respond in a way to threats of their well-being. Came accross an interesting interview while surfing the Net worth reading. Form your own conclusions.
http://www.derrickjensen.org/backster.html
Soon it will get to the point where we'll end up worrying about lettuce leaves, tomatoes and other salad fixings and horror-of-horrors, what grass feel when they hear the lawnmower powering up, or the shrubs being trimmed.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/weekinreview/25bruni.html?ex=1308888000&en=ec726af0f0befe8e&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss
Personally, I'm not into lobsters because to be candid - it's those beady black eyes staring at me from a dinner plate that get to me. I've also never prepared lobsters -or any live crustaceans for that matter - since the guilt is enough to make me feel like a murderer. I'm also not into eating snails, dead or alive, due to the manner in which they live out their lives but then worms don't "do it" for me, either, although I will admit to sucking on a bug lollypop while taping a segment of a gardening show. In my defence we were discussing the edibility of some bugs like grasshoppers et al.
It also bothers me that lobsters live out the last few days of their lives in a holding tank with their claws bound up. Like, what do they (the people who catch losbsters) think they're gonna do? Maim or kill each other in the tank? Uh duh!
Researcher Clive Backster did some experiments back in 1966 using a lie detector to ascertain whether plants feel pain. His conclusion was that they (the plants) did respond in a way to threats of their well-being. Came accross an interesting interview while surfing the Net worth reading. Form your own conclusions.
http://www.derrickjensen.org/backster.html
Soon it will get to the point where we'll end up worrying about lettuce leaves, tomatoes and other salad fixings and horror-of-horrors, what grass feel when they hear the lawnmower powering up, or the shrubs being trimmed.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/weekinreview/25bruni.html?ex=1308888000&en=ec726af0f0befe8e&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss
Friday, June 23, 2006
SINGAPORE TOILET SPECIALISTS UPGRADED
Heads up - or down as the case may be.
It never ceases to amaze me how serious toilet issues are in some parts of the world. There is the Toilet Summit, the Dry Toilet Conference, National Toilet Repair Month, all apparantly a flushing success.
Obviously, toilets make for big business and some people take their bathrooms very seriously. In Singapore for example, which has a reputation for clean washrooms, fifty toilet cleaners have been upgraded to the (?)new position of "restroom specialist." In fact they will be taking a 3-day session for the cleaners after which they will be known to all as specialists.
This leads one to wonder (at least I do) what's involved in becoming a "specialist" and the content of the courses. One can only speculate of course:
- toilet brush swirling 101, where recruits will be taught how to grasp a toilet brush by the handle and instructed the correct way to clean bowls, counter-clockwise
- toilet seat 'damp washing' 104 where cleaners will be instructed to rinse their cloths under running (not dripping) water and ring them out 20 times (not 21 or 19) until it is classified as damp. Wet seats do not encourage comfortable usage
- toilet paper roll replacement 201 whereby recruits are instructed as to replacing toilet paper rolls with the end facing the wall. Always. Without exception.
- stall washing 306
There is no information regarding graduation ceremonies but word has it that the grads are flushing with pride.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20060622.wsingtoilet0622/BNStory/International/home
It never ceases to amaze me how serious toilet issues are in some parts of the world. There is the Toilet Summit, the Dry Toilet Conference, National Toilet Repair Month, all apparantly a flushing success.
Obviously, toilets make for big business and some people take their bathrooms very seriously. In Singapore for example, which has a reputation for clean washrooms, fifty toilet cleaners have been upgraded to the (?)new position of "restroom specialist." In fact they will be taking a 3-day session for the cleaners after which they will be known to all as specialists.
This leads one to wonder (at least I do) what's involved in becoming a "specialist" and the content of the courses. One can only speculate of course:
- toilet brush swirling 101, where recruits will be taught how to grasp a toilet brush by the handle and instructed the correct way to clean bowls, counter-clockwise
- toilet seat 'damp washing' 104 where cleaners will be instructed to rinse their cloths under running (not dripping) water and ring them out 20 times (not 21 or 19) until it is classified as damp. Wet seats do not encourage comfortable usage
- toilet paper roll replacement 201 whereby recruits are instructed as to replacing toilet paper rolls with the end facing the wall. Always. Without exception.
- stall washing 306
There is no information regarding graduation ceremonies but word has it that the grads are flushing with pride.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20060622.wsingtoilet0622/BNStory/International/home
Sunday, June 11, 2006
BRIT COPS FORCED TO LEARN DUTCH
As a former dog owner whose pooch rarely listened to or obeyed commands, it suddenly occurred to me that the problem could have been a failure to communicate. Although it's a long shot since she wasn't the brightest spark in the universe, still it is a possibility.
Take the story of three police officers working out of Avon and Somerset who were forced to learn Dutch since the 3 dogs they recruited don't respond to English. Seems that the officers travelled to Holland to select the dogs, after being unable to find good quality animals in the U.K.
Now if I was a British canine, I would be furious and highly insulted! The inference as I view it is that British dogs aren't up to par when it comes to assisting in police work. This also leads one (me) to speculate as to how this "search" was conducted. Were ads placed in newspapers?
"Wanted. Three dogs. Must like cops. Reply to P.O.Box..."
Or maybe it was strictly a "do-you-know-anybody-that-has-a-large-ish-dog" type calls to friends.
I mean - c'mon! I absolutely refuse to believe that somewhere in Great Britain there aren't any German Shepherds that could fill the bill!
Anyway... There was a communication problem (to say the least) and dog handlers at the force's dog section in Bower, Ashton, Bristol have had to adapt. Their handlers who care for the Dutch dogs - two German Shepherds and a Malinoi - can now fluently communicate Dutch commands.
Wonder what the dutch word for fire hydrant is?
For a photo of the officer and his Dutch-speaking/barking colleague:
http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2006%5C06%5C08%5Cstory_8-6-2006_pg9_4
Take the story of three police officers working out of Avon and Somerset who were forced to learn Dutch since the 3 dogs they recruited don't respond to English. Seems that the officers travelled to Holland to select the dogs, after being unable to find good quality animals in the U.K.
Now if I was a British canine, I would be furious and highly insulted! The inference as I view it is that British dogs aren't up to par when it comes to assisting in police work. This also leads one (me) to speculate as to how this "search" was conducted. Were ads placed in newspapers?
"Wanted. Three dogs. Must like cops. Reply to P.O.Box..."
Or maybe it was strictly a "do-you-know-anybody-that-has-a-large-ish-dog" type calls to friends.
I mean - c'mon! I absolutely refuse to believe that somewhere in Great Britain there aren't any German Shepherds that could fill the bill!
Anyway... There was a communication problem (to say the least) and dog handlers at the force's dog section in Bower, Ashton, Bristol have had to adapt. Their handlers who care for the Dutch dogs - two German Shepherds and a Malinoi - can now fluently communicate Dutch commands.
Wonder what the dutch word for fire hydrant is?
For a photo of the officer and his Dutch-speaking/barking colleague:
http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2006%5C06%5C08%5Cstory_8-6-2006_pg9_4
Saturday, June 10, 2006
ELEANOR'S DAILY RANT: JUST AN ORDER OF TOAST, PLEASE!
"So what happened to you recently, Eleanor, that has you all worked up?"
Well...now that you ask... It's restaurants that don't serve toast. Two slices of your plain, ordinary, run-of-the-mill toast.
I mean - is it a lot to ask?
Remember the film "Five Easy Pieces" when Jack Nicholson asks the waitress for toast and they have a short but oh so memorable discourse as to what she could do with her solution to the issue? I know where he was coming from!
It's 8 o'clock in the morning at a delicatessen style restaurant located in a major Lost Wages casino. Being that I'm not a big breakfast eater (not a good thing to be in a city that believes in over-size everything), I stick to toast and tea. Look up at the menu, spot toast and relate my order to the waitress. She stares back at me and there is this over-whelming sense that this simple word "toast" is gonna present a problem.
"Toast?" she responds as if it's a dirty word.
"Toast" I reply, "with strawberry jam but if you don't have strawberry, I'll settle for what you have."
"You just can't have toast," she tells me, matter-of-factly, as if she's used to telling people this for years.
"Why not?" I ask, wondering if they've run out of bread.
"Just toast?" she repeats again, as if she could have misunderstood the nature of my request.
"Just toast!" I emphasize the 'toast' for her edification.
"We don't serve just toast," she finally confesses.
I glance again at the menu. She turns to look at the menu.
"Says 'toast' right up there. See? Right next to the two eggs, bacon and sausages. Clear as day. Toast! That's what I want. And jam of course. Oh and with two pats of butter - or magarine."
There is silence between us for approximately five seconds as we stare at each other. It's a scene out of a western movie where the camera shows an extreme close up of eyes, squinting, in an attempt to indicate the internal resolve of the two gun fighters to win.
"You can't order toast," she says softly. "My boss told us we can't serve that anymore..."
"And why not?" I jump in.
"You hav'ta order a meal," she finally explains, like it's a big load off her mind. "Why don't you order the two egg any style special that comes with toast?"
"But I don't want eggs!" I state matter-of-factly, through clenched teeth. "All I want is two slices of white toast...lightly browned, with two pats of butter and jam. Period!"
There is yet another five seconds of silence between us.
"Well...you can always leave the eggs!" she suggests, as if she's come up with the perfect and logical solution to end world hunger.
There was a sense of defeat knowing that the waitress was just following her bosses orders and had no intention of disobeying them for me or anyone else. So I ordered a bagel---black seed, lightly-toasted with three pats of butter.
It's like life and whether or not you see the bagel or the hole - and picking black seeds out of your teeth all day.
Well...now that you ask... It's restaurants that don't serve toast. Two slices of your plain, ordinary, run-of-the-mill toast.
I mean - is it a lot to ask?
Remember the film "Five Easy Pieces" when Jack Nicholson asks the waitress for toast and they have a short but oh so memorable discourse as to what she could do with her solution to the issue? I know where he was coming from!
It's 8 o'clock in the morning at a delicatessen style restaurant located in a major Lost Wages casino. Being that I'm not a big breakfast eater (not a good thing to be in a city that believes in over-size everything), I stick to toast and tea. Look up at the menu, spot toast and relate my order to the waitress. She stares back at me and there is this over-whelming sense that this simple word "toast" is gonna present a problem.
"Toast?" she responds as if it's a dirty word.
"Toast" I reply, "with strawberry jam but if you don't have strawberry, I'll settle for what you have."
"You just can't have toast," she tells me, matter-of-factly, as if she's used to telling people this for years.
"Why not?" I ask, wondering if they've run out of bread.
"Just toast?" she repeats again, as if she could have misunderstood the nature of my request.
"Just toast!" I emphasize the 'toast' for her edification.
"We don't serve just toast," she finally confesses.
I glance again at the menu. She turns to look at the menu.
"Says 'toast' right up there. See? Right next to the two eggs, bacon and sausages. Clear as day. Toast! That's what I want. And jam of course. Oh and with two pats of butter - or magarine."
There is silence between us for approximately five seconds as we stare at each other. It's a scene out of a western movie where the camera shows an extreme close up of eyes, squinting, in an attempt to indicate the internal resolve of the two gun fighters to win.
"You can't order toast," she says softly. "My boss told us we can't serve that anymore..."
"And why not?" I jump in.
"You hav'ta order a meal," she finally explains, like it's a big load off her mind. "Why don't you order the two egg any style special that comes with toast?"
"But I don't want eggs!" I state matter-of-factly, through clenched teeth. "All I want is two slices of white toast...lightly browned, with two pats of butter and jam. Period!"
There is yet another five seconds of silence between us.
"Well...you can always leave the eggs!" she suggests, as if she's come up with the perfect and logical solution to end world hunger.
There was a sense of defeat knowing that the waitress was just following her bosses orders and had no intention of disobeying them for me or anyone else. So I ordered a bagel---black seed, lightly-toasted with three pats of butter.
It's like life and whether or not you see the bagel or the hole - and picking black seeds out of your teeth all day.
Monday, May 15, 2006
ONLINE RADIO STATION GOES TO THE DOGS
I dunno...if this doesn't prove we're living in weird times, than I don't know what will.
Believe it or not the first ever internet radio station for dogs, DogRadioThailand.com has been launched. Among the criteria in addition to playing music is to know how to bark.
Bark: as in 'rowf-rowf' or 'bow-wow' as the case may be or in this case, what the music calls for!
The content or play list features barking DJ's playing vocals and intrumental music 24 hours per day.
One of the main qualifications as expected, is that the DJ's be gifted in the barking department because according to the station owner, dogs are the main clientele/listeners and DJ's are required to make different sounds to attract and retain their (the dog's) attention like whining, barking, woofing...the usual doggie talk.
There are plans to expand the progamming with the disc jockey communicating to the dogs in Thai and the audience - at least the canine listeners - will be encouranged to respond. This of course begs the question as to the correct usage of barks. A DJ could for example say: "grrrrowwwfff" in which he believes to be telling the dogs to listen to Barry Manilow, when in reality he could be saying "Pee on the carpet!" I mean, go know!
There is no information available regarding whether hourly news reports and weather updates are also included. Wwwww-oooof - and don't ask me what it means. I'm not into dog talk.
http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2006%5C05%5C15%5Cstory_15-5-2006_pg9_2
Believe it or not the first ever internet radio station for dogs, DogRadioThailand.com has been launched. Among the criteria in addition to playing music is to know how to bark.
Bark: as in 'rowf-rowf' or 'bow-wow' as the case may be or in this case, what the music calls for!
The content or play list features barking DJ's playing vocals and intrumental music 24 hours per day.
One of the main qualifications as expected, is that the DJ's be gifted in the barking department because according to the station owner, dogs are the main clientele/listeners and DJ's are required to make different sounds to attract and retain their (the dog's) attention like whining, barking, woofing...the usual doggie talk.
There are plans to expand the progamming with the disc jockey communicating to the dogs in Thai and the audience - at least the canine listeners - will be encouranged to respond. This of course begs the question as to the correct usage of barks. A DJ could for example say: "grrrrowwwfff" in which he believes to be telling the dogs to listen to Barry Manilow, when in reality he could be saying "Pee on the carpet!" I mean, go know!
There is no information available regarding whether hourly news reports and weather updates are also included. Wwwww-oooof - and don't ask me what it means. I'm not into dog talk.
http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2006%5C05%5C15%5Cstory_15-5-2006_pg9_2
Thursday, May 11, 2006
ELEANOR'S DAILY RANT: A DAY AT THE SUPERMARKET
Having run out of fruit and vegetables, a trip to the supermarket was in order. The very same supermarket that allows or at least closes its eyes to shoppers tasting-before-they-buy. Given the fact that I ended up needing more than a hand-full of items, a shopping cart was required. Not any particular shopping cart, mind you. Any shopping cart would suffice.
Silly me!
There is a long line of shoppping carts inside the entrance of the supermarket, placed one inside the other. I pull at the first one...and pull...and pull but the*&%$%/* cart is wedged in. At this point I'm consumed with frustration and there are beads of perspiration on my forehead. 'Calm down Eleanor' I keep telling myself in an attempt to regain my composure. There are more carts outside and it galls me to have to actually go back outside to retrieve a cart when there are approx. 100 carts right in front of me that are unusable. However...out I go.
I pull...I push...I curse with heavy emphasis on the latter.
March into the supermarket and I'm ready to battle with any supermarket employee that crosses my path. There is a 5-7 minute wait at the customer service counter where a customer and the employee decide whether to exchange or reimburse a client for a frozen food item that has gone bad. No bill equals big decisions.
"Excuse me," I finally butt in, "but I need a shopping cart."
There was dead silence as all eyes turned to the lonnng line of carts at the entrance and then back at me.
"I can't pull them apart," I tell them. "All I need is one."
"I'm helping this customer now," the clerk informs me and returns to her customer. At that point the frozen food item was defrosting and a puddle of water was slowly getting wider accross the counter.
"Look - it's not a lot to ask," I jump in again. "All I want - all I need - is a shopping cart and then I won't bother you anymore."
She calls for an outside clerk over the loud speaker. I wait...and wait...and... Ten minutes later I remind her of my presence.
"They're all at lunch," she explains.
"What about the cart problem?" I gesture to a growing line up of people working at trying to extricate a cart. At this point people - strangers - were working in pairs trying to de-wedge one...any.
Probably sensing there could be a customer rebellion brewing, she calls a certain name over the store speaker and a tall guy in his early 20's who obviously worked out, saunters over. His arms are rippled with muscles.
The two of us return to the carts and there are now approx. a dozen people gathered around the carts discussing ways in which to get one.
It was like a scene out of the Ten Commandments where Moses extends his hand over the waters and the sea parts.
Using one hand the outside clerk removed the first shopping cart in the long line and suddenly all the rest wheeled forward, waiting to be retrieved. Together we all said "ahhhhhhh" as if he had just performed the greatest magic trick. Actually, he had.
Quickly grabbing a cart, I returned to the customer service counter waiting patiently in line to return a mini rose bush that I had purchased two days before, since the bottom leaves were dropping off. The customer service clerk looked a little nervous as she reimbursed me. Can't imagine why.
Silly me!
There is a long line of shoppping carts inside the entrance of the supermarket, placed one inside the other. I pull at the first one...and pull...and pull but the*&%$%/* cart is wedged in. At this point I'm consumed with frustration and there are beads of perspiration on my forehead. 'Calm down Eleanor' I keep telling myself in an attempt to regain my composure. There are more carts outside and it galls me to have to actually go back outside to retrieve a cart when there are approx. 100 carts right in front of me that are unusable. However...out I go.
I pull...I push...I curse with heavy emphasis on the latter.
March into the supermarket and I'm ready to battle with any supermarket employee that crosses my path. There is a 5-7 minute wait at the customer service counter where a customer and the employee decide whether to exchange or reimburse a client for a frozen food item that has gone bad. No bill equals big decisions.
"Excuse me," I finally butt in, "but I need a shopping cart."
There was dead silence as all eyes turned to the lonnng line of carts at the entrance and then back at me.
"I can't pull them apart," I tell them. "All I need is one."
"I'm helping this customer now," the clerk informs me and returns to her customer. At that point the frozen food item was defrosting and a puddle of water was slowly getting wider accross the counter.
"Look - it's not a lot to ask," I jump in again. "All I want - all I need - is a shopping cart and then I won't bother you anymore."
She calls for an outside clerk over the loud speaker. I wait...and wait...and... Ten minutes later I remind her of my presence.
"They're all at lunch," she explains.
"What about the cart problem?" I gesture to a growing line up of people working at trying to extricate a cart. At this point people - strangers - were working in pairs trying to de-wedge one...any.
Probably sensing there could be a customer rebellion brewing, she calls a certain name over the store speaker and a tall guy in his early 20's who obviously worked out, saunters over. His arms are rippled with muscles.
The two of us return to the carts and there are now approx. a dozen people gathered around the carts discussing ways in which to get one.
It was like a scene out of the Ten Commandments where Moses extends his hand over the waters and the sea parts.
Using one hand the outside clerk removed the first shopping cart in the long line and suddenly all the rest wheeled forward, waiting to be retrieved. Together we all said "ahhhhhhh" as if he had just performed the greatest magic trick. Actually, he had.
Quickly grabbing a cart, I returned to the customer service counter waiting patiently in line to return a mini rose bush that I had purchased two days before, since the bottom leaves were dropping off. The customer service clerk looked a little nervous as she reimbursed me. Can't imagine why.
Friday, May 05, 2006
PRAISE BE - A MIRACLE FISH TALE
I find 'em all. Consider this a fish tale with a happy ending.
In New Zealand a goldfish who lived in a garden pond and was swept away by floodwaters has been found alive in a roadside ditch more than a mile away.
Now if this isn't a miracle I don't know what is!
Seems that the fish had been swept away five days earlier in a storm and was presumed - well - in fishy heaven. However a farmer walking his dog recognized the fish as one of three belonging to his neighbors.
The fishes owner was obviously overjoyed that it had managed to survive but anyone who has owned tropical fish and neglected to clean the tank will tell you that dirty water isn't an impediment to their well being. In fact they seem to prefer it.
However, this does beg the question as to how the owner knew that this fish was "the" missing fish. After all there could be other fish in other ponds that were also swept away. What would have happened one wonders, if other fish owners claimed the found fish in question to be theirs? Could there have been a custody battle? It would have been difficult if not impossible for a judge to make a decision since it's rare that fish owners keep a copy of their fish's DNA at home. I mean, a gold fish is a gold fish is... Even a photo wouldn't help.
Anyway, the fish now named Nemo for obvious reasons, is back where it belongs (maybe) but there is no news or signs of his (or her) friends.
In New Zealand a goldfish who lived in a garden pond and was swept away by floodwaters has been found alive in a roadside ditch more than a mile away.
Now if this isn't a miracle I don't know what is!
Seems that the fish had been swept away five days earlier in a storm and was presumed - well - in fishy heaven. However a farmer walking his dog recognized the fish as one of three belonging to his neighbors.
The fishes owner was obviously overjoyed that it had managed to survive but anyone who has owned tropical fish and neglected to clean the tank will tell you that dirty water isn't an impediment to their well being. In fact they seem to prefer it.
However, this does beg the question as to how the owner knew that this fish was "the" missing fish. After all there could be other fish in other ponds that were also swept away. What would have happened one wonders, if other fish owners claimed the found fish in question to be theirs? Could there have been a custody battle? It would have been difficult if not impossible for a judge to make a decision since it's rare that fish owners keep a copy of their fish's DNA at home. I mean, a gold fish is a gold fish is... Even a photo wouldn't help.
Anyway, the fish now named Nemo for obvious reasons, is back where it belongs (maybe) but there is no news or signs of his (or her) friends.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
THE TOILET TALKS - THE INSIDE VIEW
Let's say we could peek in on a toilet summit taking place somewhere in the world, to see and hear what type of things are discussed.
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Okay people. Let's have a little order in the room... Please? I know you all have a lot of toilet talk to discuss... Good. Now I officially declare The Toilet Talks open
(loud raucaus applause and clapping)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
The results are in and there have been some amazing strides in toiletry all over the world
(more raucaus applause and whoops)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Give yourselves a big hand!
(still more racaus applause and clapping)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Well...not quite everyone.
(booing)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Now people! Let's be charitable here! Not everyone is as toilet-conscious as most of us
(booing)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Um... It seems...that there have been some complaints from the public about a bathroom right accross the street from Buckingham Palace
(there are gasps throughout the room)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Okay, okay...simmer down now... Is the representative from the Buckingham Palace Loo here?
(there is silence in the room)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Mr. John I. Gotta Go? John are you in the room?
(a hand goes up very cautiously)
Oh good. You're in the room John. Is there some type of problem we can help you with?
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
It's not my fault!
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Now John. We're all in the same bowl, so to speak. Share with us, friend!
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
It's the darned horsies!
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Horsies?
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
The Buckingham Palace Guard horsies
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
What in heaven's name are you talking about?
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
Every day it's the same thing. I clean the bathroom and after every changing of the guard, the bathroom is full of - well - manure
(there is a hum of chatter among the crowd)
CROWD
hum-hum-hum-hum....
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
I swear it's the truth!
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Are you expecting us to believe that... It's just too incredible. Perhaps it's not horsie-doo. Maybe it's people who couldn't make it to the toilet on time. After all it is near the Burger Queen restaurant
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
Listen sir. If there's one thing I'm familiar with it's the smell of - excuse the expression - shit and I'M telling YOU that it's horsey-doo!
(there are gasps around the room)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
I find this hard to believe
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
Okay. I swore that I wouldn't tell anyone but since nobody here believes me... Ahem... Actually, a couple of the royal guardsmen don't like to leave their horses tied up to telephone poles. You know how it is - kids wanna pet them...sometimes tourists climb on top t'take pictures. So they bring the horses with them with they pee - I mean, urinate. Now everyone knows. I hope the Queen won't penalize them or anything...
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Hmmm... I'll have to speak to the head guardsman about this. We can't have that type of behavior. We're trying to upgrade the toilet standards and horsie ka-ka is a no-no... Moving along...
A VOICE FROM THE CROWD
Hello? I have a confession. Hello? Sir?
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Who wants to be recognized
A VOICE FROM THE CROWD
It is I, the representative from India. I too have a confession to make. The reason for the toilets over-flowing is not bad plumbing as I claimed. It is - a thousand pardons - sacred cow dung! They were imported cows from the United States and worth a lot of money to the owners. Their owners paid me five-hundred United States dollars! I'm bad - I know...
(there are gasps and boos)
(another voice pipes up from the crowd)
ANOTHER VOICE FROM THE CROWD
I too have sinned! There is camel dung in my stalls
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
It's gonna be a long day
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Okay people. Let's have a little order in the room... Please? I know you all have a lot of toilet talk to discuss... Good. Now I officially declare The Toilet Talks open
(loud raucaus applause and clapping)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
The results are in and there have been some amazing strides in toiletry all over the world
(more raucaus applause and whoops)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Give yourselves a big hand!
(still more racaus applause and clapping)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Well...not quite everyone.
(booing)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Now people! Let's be charitable here! Not everyone is as toilet-conscious as most of us
(booing)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Um... It seems...that there have been some complaints from the public about a bathroom right accross the street from Buckingham Palace
(there are gasps throughout the room)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Okay, okay...simmer down now... Is the representative from the Buckingham Palace Loo here?
(there is silence in the room)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Mr. John I. Gotta Go? John are you in the room?
(a hand goes up very cautiously)
Oh good. You're in the room John. Is there some type of problem we can help you with?
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
It's not my fault!
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Now John. We're all in the same bowl, so to speak. Share with us, friend!
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
It's the darned horsies!
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Horsies?
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
The Buckingham Palace Guard horsies
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
What in heaven's name are you talking about?
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
Every day it's the same thing. I clean the bathroom and after every changing of the guard, the bathroom is full of - well - manure
(there is a hum of chatter among the crowd)
CROWD
hum-hum-hum-hum....
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
I swear it's the truth!
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Are you expecting us to believe that... It's just too incredible. Perhaps it's not horsie-doo. Maybe it's people who couldn't make it to the toilet on time. After all it is near the Burger Queen restaurant
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
Listen sir. If there's one thing I'm familiar with it's the smell of - excuse the expression - shit and I'M telling YOU that it's horsey-doo!
(there are gasps around the room)
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
I find this hard to believe
JOHN I. GOTTA GO
Okay. I swore that I wouldn't tell anyone but since nobody here believes me... Ahem... Actually, a couple of the royal guardsmen don't like to leave their horses tied up to telephone poles. You know how it is - kids wanna pet them...sometimes tourists climb on top t'take pictures. So they bring the horses with them with they pee - I mean, urinate. Now everyone knows. I hope the Queen won't penalize them or anything...
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Hmmm... I'll have to speak to the head guardsman about this. We can't have that type of behavior. We're trying to upgrade the toilet standards and horsie ka-ka is a no-no... Moving along...
A VOICE FROM THE CROWD
Hello? I have a confession. Hello? Sir?
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
Who wants to be recognized
A VOICE FROM THE CROWD
It is I, the representative from India. I too have a confession to make. The reason for the toilets over-flowing is not bad plumbing as I claimed. It is - a thousand pardons - sacred cow dung! They were imported cows from the United States and worth a lot of money to the owners. Their owners paid me five-hundred United States dollars! I'm bad - I know...
(there are gasps and boos)
(another voice pipes up from the crowd)
ANOTHER VOICE FROM THE CROWD
I too have sinned! There is camel dung in my stalls
TOILET MANAGEMENT EXPERT
It's gonna be a long day
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
TOILET MOMENTS VIDEOS: A FLUSH ABOVE THE REST
Speaking of toilets... For some more views on toilet related issues, drop by (or in as the case may be...see videos) and watch "TOILET MOMENTS" featuring a hilarious view of toilet related angst. It'll have you thinking twice the next time you enter a bathroom.
Funny stuff.
http://www.angelsoft.com/bathroommoments/clips.html
Funny stuff.
http://www.angelsoft.com/bathroommoments/clips.html
HEADS UP: MALAYSIA TO HOLD A TOILET SUMMIT
Malaysia aims to flush away its dirty toilet reputation. After all, a clean toilet is a thing to behold and admire. You would think so given the focus on this subject of late.
In order to clean up its image of having foul-smelling public restrooms, Malaysia will be hosting a National Toilet Summit to educate the public regarding the importance of a clean toilet.
According to a report public toilets in Malaysia are a big concern to residents and tourists with a lack of your basic toilet-tools like toilet paper, soap (ohmygawd and horror-of-horrors - no soap!) and on occasion, there is even a lack of toilet seats that are removed by vandals.
The summit according to a spokesperson, would be a meeting place for local officials and interenational experts on toilet management(!), including the founder of the World Toilet Organization. We're talking major toilet biggies here!
Go figure that toilets and their usage has become such an important focal issue and discussion subject. You have the World Toilet Summit, your Dry Toilet Conference in addition to the World Toilet Expo to be held in November in Bangkok, Thailand. It's enough to make a person flush with the urge to go...that is, to attend.
http://www.canada.com/topics/news/oddities/story.html?id=2e0da93e-da32-4c02-a4cb-de50e215b831&k=27139
In order to clean up its image of having foul-smelling public restrooms, Malaysia will be hosting a National Toilet Summit to educate the public regarding the importance of a clean toilet.
According to a report public toilets in Malaysia are a big concern to residents and tourists with a lack of your basic toilet-tools like toilet paper, soap (ohmygawd and horror-of-horrors - no soap!) and on occasion, there is even a lack of toilet seats that are removed by vandals.
The summit according to a spokesperson, would be a meeting place for local officials and interenational experts on toilet management(!), including the founder of the World Toilet Organization. We're talking major toilet biggies here!
Go figure that toilets and their usage has become such an important focal issue and discussion subject. You have the World Toilet Summit, your Dry Toilet Conference in addition to the World Toilet Expo to be held in November in Bangkok, Thailand. It's enough to make a person flush with the urge to go...that is, to attend.
http://www.canada.com/topics/news/oddities/story.html?id=2e0da93e-da32-4c02-a4cb-de50e215b831&k=27139
Thursday, April 27, 2006
A CASE FOR FATE - OR PERHAPS COINCIDENCE
Yesterday, there was a news item that makes one ponder one's destiny. A least it did me. All the elements are there to endorse a case for the reality of fate.
In brief a driver suffers a heart attack and crashes into a guardrail. Along comes a defibrillator salesman who was transporting an automated defibriallator that is used to shock the heart into a normal rhythm. The salesman upon seeing the accident grabbed the AED and went to work on the driver.
That in itself would make a case for fate but there's more.
Driving along are two nurses who spot the wreck and start performing CPR on the driver. Due to the intervention of all the people i.e. the defib. salesman plus the nurses, her pulse was restored and she is recovering in hospital.
Now what are the chances or odds that not one but TWO different sources would come together to save the life of a complete stranger who would have died had it not been for the intervention of all the people involved.
Fate? Karma - or mere coicidence?
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2006/04/26/national/a083124D30.DTL
In brief a driver suffers a heart attack and crashes into a guardrail. Along comes a defibrillator salesman who was transporting an automated defibriallator that is used to shock the heart into a normal rhythm. The salesman upon seeing the accident grabbed the AED and went to work on the driver.
That in itself would make a case for fate but there's more.
Driving along are two nurses who spot the wreck and start performing CPR on the driver. Due to the intervention of all the people i.e. the defib. salesman plus the nurses, her pulse was restored and she is recovering in hospital.
Now what are the chances or odds that not one but TWO different sources would come together to save the life of a complete stranger who would have died had it not been for the intervention of all the people involved.
Fate? Karma - or mere coicidence?
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2006/04/26/national/a083124D30.DTL
Friday, April 21, 2006
A FLUSH OF SUCCESS: THE TOILET SUMMITS
Flushing with success from their past summit, comes the news that the next World Toilet Summit will be held in Moscow from September 6-9. So it will be an autumn in Moscow affair.
The summit will cover issues that include:
- City toilets
- International toilet classification
- Public restroom standards
- Toilet availability and accessibility
- Toilet infrastructure management, foreign experience in creating city toilet infrastructure
- Sanitary equipment
- Russia’s toilet market opportunities
- Toilet architecture and design. Fitting into local environment
- Toilets as sightseeing attraction(!!!)
- World toilet masterpieces(!!!)
Included also are these headings included in the "Abstracts and reports" section:
Section 1 City toilets
Section 2 Toilets for social integration
Section 3 Toilets for children
Section 4 Autonomous toilet technology
In case the delegates who attend want another view, the second annual Dry Toilet Conference will be held in Tampere, Finland from August 16-19.
According to the information blurb "the objective of the conference is to offer a discussion platform for professionals and other interested parties. The Conference will distribute the latest information about various aspects of dry toilets."
Dry toilets too? Is there no end to all this progressive toilet technology?
Last but certainly not least, Fluidmaster, (in their words) "the world's largest manufacturer of toilet replacement parts," has officially designated October as National Toilet Repair Month. "
The month will kick off with the finals competition for the Fluidmaster Flush-Off- a contest where contestants perform their best vocal impression of a toilet flush for an audience that includes nationwide media. This year's Flush-Off will take place at Fluidmaster headquarters in San Juan Capistrano on Wednesday, October 6. Winners will take trophies home cash prizes of $250 to $1,000.
I've already circled all the dates on my calendar. I'm just so...flushed with excitement.
http://www.toiletsummit.ru/index.php?option=com_content&task=blogcategory&id=15&Itemid=32
The summit will cover issues that include:
- City toilets
- International toilet classification
- Public restroom standards
- Toilet availability and accessibility
- Toilet infrastructure management, foreign experience in creating city toilet infrastructure
- Sanitary equipment
- Russia’s toilet market opportunities
- Toilet architecture and design. Fitting into local environment
- Toilets as sightseeing attraction(!!!)
- World toilet masterpieces(!!!)
Included also are these headings included in the "Abstracts and reports" section:
Section 1 City toilets
Section 2 Toilets for social integration
Section 3 Toilets for children
Section 4 Autonomous toilet technology
In case the delegates who attend want another view, the second annual Dry Toilet Conference will be held in Tampere, Finland from August 16-19.
According to the information blurb "the objective of the conference is to offer a discussion platform for professionals and other interested parties. The Conference will distribute the latest information about various aspects of dry toilets."
Dry toilets too? Is there no end to all this progressive toilet technology?
Last but certainly not least, Fluidmaster, (in their words) "the world's largest manufacturer of toilet replacement parts," has officially designated October as National Toilet Repair Month. "
The month will kick off with the finals competition for the Fluidmaster Flush-Off- a contest where contestants perform their best vocal impression of a toilet flush for an audience that includes nationwide media. This year's Flush-Off will take place at Fluidmaster headquarters in San Juan Capistrano on Wednesday, October 6. Winners will take trophies home cash prizes of $250 to $1,000.
I've already circled all the dates on my calendar. I'm just so...flushed with excitement.
http://www.toiletsummit.ru/index.php?option=com_content&task=blogcategory&id=15&Itemid=32
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
RUFUS THE TURKEY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING
Like most (or many)people, I like turkeys. They're not "cute" in the looks department but they're...okay and they do lead difficult - and short- lives. However, there are exceptions to the rule. Take Rufus for example... Actually somebody did just that.
Rufus was a turkey that arrived on the scene along with some feathery friends of his in October and managed to stay alive all through Thanksgiving unlike his pals who...let's just say they were the centerpiece of coversation. Initially, the turkey friends hung out at the Junction Café where they lived by eating grain of semi-trucks passing through the area. As his friends "left" one-by-one, restaurant patrons took pity on Rufus and even supplied him with "turkey bags" on their way out.
However...a turkey's life is a short one and it's a sad ending for the gobbler. He deserved better. There's a photo of Rufus in happier times posing in all his glory before..."the incident."
http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2006/04/18/hunter_turns_rufus_the_turkey_into_dinner/
Rufus was a turkey that arrived on the scene along with some feathery friends of his in October and managed to stay alive all through Thanksgiving unlike his pals who...let's just say they were the centerpiece of coversation. Initially, the turkey friends hung out at the Junction Café where they lived by eating grain of semi-trucks passing through the area. As his friends "left" one-by-one, restaurant patrons took pity on Rufus and even supplied him with "turkey bags" on their way out.
However...a turkey's life is a short one and it's a sad ending for the gobbler. He deserved better. There's a photo of Rufus in happier times posing in all his glory before..."the incident."
http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2006/04/18/hunter_turns_rufus_the_turkey_into_dinner/
Sunday, April 09, 2006
CLEANING UP THE STREETS...NOT!
It never ceases to amaze me how some people live to delegate. That way they can absolve themselves of all responsibility and get other people to do their dirty work for them. Ask me about it.
For example we were exchanging small talk with our next door neighbor. At the point when we were saying out good-byes, the neighbor two doors down suddenly runs towards us waving his hands madly. We figure it has to be something important.
"Hello! Hello!" he yells to us until he is standing directly in front. He extends his hand towards my husband and they shake 'man-o-to-man-o', a broad smile on his lips reflecting a lot of teeth. Maybe too broad upon reflection... We figure he's just being a friendly guy.
At the point where we're start to turn away, he suddenly blurts out, "dirt!" My husband and I look at each other.
"Dirt!" he repeats, pointing to the road. "Lots of dirt!" his finger extended in a 45 degree angle.
All eyes move on the road and we walk to the curb and stare down.
"They haven't come to clean the streets, yet!" Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down states, his eyes blazing with that 'I'm-consumed-with-a-cause' expression on his face.
"Yeah - I noticed," I respond. I mean, what's a person supposed to say under those circumstances? 'oh really?' or perhaps 'I'm not into dirt?'
An awkward silence follows for 10 seconds and we all stare at each other and then my husband and I start to walk away.
"What are WE going to do about it?" he asks following us.
"Do about it?" I repeat, wondering if he's perhaps about to suggest a mass street sweeping project for our block.
"All that sand in the street! What are WE going to do about it?"
This is followed by another uncomfortable period of staring at each other with nobody saying anything.
"Did...you phone the Public Works Department and tell them about it?" I ask innocently, the words rolling off my tongue as if they had a will of their own. It was the opening Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down had been waiting for and I had given it to him. It was akin to opening up the barriers of a flood gate and allowing the water to gush forward.
"Them?" he spat out, like the words burned his tongue. "They don't care! They take your name and your address and that's it!"
"But...did you call...the Public Works?" I re-addressed my question again, firmly taking charge of the situation.
"You think I'm going to waste my time calling them?" he went on, obviously on a rant.
"It is only April," my husband added his two cents worth to the subject. It was at that point that I threw him "The Look" warning him to be very careful what he said from that point on.
"Only April? ONLY April? The snow has been gone for a while now but have they cleaned the streets even once? Nooooo! Not even once my friend because they don't care! They don't give a damn about us!"
"He's right, you know," my husband turns to me. "They haven't cleaned even once."
"Disgusting!" Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down comments.
"They could have cleaned already," my husband added. "There's no excuse for all this dirt."
"Yeah...no excuse," Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down concurs.
"They're fast to raise our taxes but do they give us service?" my husband went on, obviously getting right into the spirit of things.
"No-they-don't!" Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down responds, pleased now that he's got ally. "No service at all!"
"They have those big street cleaners with those big brushes but how often do they use them?" one of them said. At that point their two voices had melded into one loud whine. It was like a verbal ping-pong game.
"Never!"
"Yeah - never!"
"Useless!"
"No good at all!"
The conversation had slowly escalated to the point where it was attracting the attention of neighbors. To an outsider it could easily appear like two guys having a verbal fight - or worse.
"So did you ever call the Public Works Dept.?" I asked, again, trying to de-escalate the situation.
"Well...no," he responded, his facial expression exhibiting embarrassment at having been caught. "You call."
"Me? Why me?" I ask.
"We all gotta call!" he went on, "or it won't work."
"But...you didn't even phone them yet!" I remind him.
"Aw sweetheart. C'mon. You know all the right people to speak with," my husband suddenly jumped in as if this was suddenly my responsibility.
"Yeah! You know them all!" Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down jumped in. "I mean, how long would it take you to call them? Two minutes?"
"Maybe even less. My wife knows everyone!" my husband added to give his statement weight. "She writes for a newspaper," he tells the neighbor proudly. It's at this point that the two discuss the merits of a small weekly newspaper versus the dailies.
"You didn't tell me you write for the newspaper," Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down says as if the street cleaning situation has suddenly all been dropped in my lap.
So now we're waiting for 'them' to send out the heavy street cleaning equipment with the big brushes in front. Anything smaller won't do the job, Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down and my husband have agreed. If they don't - they'll get me to call again. After all - I know everyone!
For example we were exchanging small talk with our next door neighbor. At the point when we were saying out good-byes, the neighbor two doors down suddenly runs towards us waving his hands madly. We figure it has to be something important.
"Hello! Hello!" he yells to us until he is standing directly in front. He extends his hand towards my husband and they shake 'man-o-to-man-o', a broad smile on his lips reflecting a lot of teeth. Maybe too broad upon reflection... We figure he's just being a friendly guy.
At the point where we're start to turn away, he suddenly blurts out, "dirt!" My husband and I look at each other.
"Dirt!" he repeats, pointing to the road. "Lots of dirt!" his finger extended in a 45 degree angle.
All eyes move on the road and we walk to the curb and stare down.
"They haven't come to clean the streets, yet!" Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down states, his eyes blazing with that 'I'm-consumed-with-a-cause' expression on his face.
"Yeah - I noticed," I respond. I mean, what's a person supposed to say under those circumstances? 'oh really?' or perhaps 'I'm not into dirt?'
An awkward silence follows for 10 seconds and we all stare at each other and then my husband and I start to walk away.
"What are WE going to do about it?" he asks following us.
"Do about it?" I repeat, wondering if he's perhaps about to suggest a mass street sweeping project for our block.
"All that sand in the street! What are WE going to do about it?"
This is followed by another uncomfortable period of staring at each other with nobody saying anything.
"Did...you phone the Public Works Department and tell them about it?" I ask innocently, the words rolling off my tongue as if they had a will of their own. It was the opening Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down had been waiting for and I had given it to him. It was akin to opening up the barriers of a flood gate and allowing the water to gush forward.
"Them?" he spat out, like the words burned his tongue. "They don't care! They take your name and your address and that's it!"
"But...did you call...the Public Works?" I re-addressed my question again, firmly taking charge of the situation.
"You think I'm going to waste my time calling them?" he went on, obviously on a rant.
"It is only April," my husband added his two cents worth to the subject. It was at that point that I threw him "The Look" warning him to be very careful what he said from that point on.
"Only April? ONLY April? The snow has been gone for a while now but have they cleaned the streets even once? Nooooo! Not even once my friend because they don't care! They don't give a damn about us!"
"He's right, you know," my husband turns to me. "They haven't cleaned even once."
"Disgusting!" Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down comments.
"They could have cleaned already," my husband added. "There's no excuse for all this dirt."
"Yeah...no excuse," Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down concurs.
"They're fast to raise our taxes but do they give us service?" my husband went on, obviously getting right into the spirit of things.
"No-they-don't!" Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down responds, pleased now that he's got ally. "No service at all!"
"They have those big street cleaners with those big brushes but how often do they use them?" one of them said. At that point their two voices had melded into one loud whine. It was like a verbal ping-pong game.
"Never!"
"Yeah - never!"
"Useless!"
"No good at all!"
The conversation had slowly escalated to the point where it was attracting the attention of neighbors. To an outsider it could easily appear like two guys having a verbal fight - or worse.
"So did you ever call the Public Works Dept.?" I asked, again, trying to de-escalate the situation.
"Well...no," he responded, his facial expression exhibiting embarrassment at having been caught. "You call."
"Me? Why me?" I ask.
"We all gotta call!" he went on, "or it won't work."
"But...you didn't even phone them yet!" I remind him.
"Aw sweetheart. C'mon. You know all the right people to speak with," my husband suddenly jumped in as if this was suddenly my responsibility.
"Yeah! You know them all!" Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down jumped in. "I mean, how long would it take you to call them? Two minutes?"
"Maybe even less. My wife knows everyone!" my husband added to give his statement weight. "She writes for a newspaper," he tells the neighbor proudly. It's at this point that the two discuss the merits of a small weekly newspaper versus the dailies.
"You didn't tell me you write for the newspaper," Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down says as if the street cleaning situation has suddenly all been dropped in my lap.
So now we're waiting for 'them' to send out the heavy street cleaning equipment with the big brushes in front. Anything smaller won't do the job, Mr. Neighbor Two Doors Down and my husband have agreed. If they don't - they'll get me to call again. After all - I know everyone!
Thursday, April 06, 2006
CONGRESS SHELLS OUT MONEY FOR WORLD TOILET CONGRESS
File this under taxpayers money at work.
A while back, I shared some information regarding the now very public, World Toilet Summit. It actually initiated a lot of feedback one way and another and now the U.S. government has also seen the importance and relevance of becoming involved in this - um - important gathering focusing on - um - toilets and related issues. So much in fact that they put aside $13.5 million for the International Fund for Ireland, which helped finance the World Toilet Summit.
In the way of background information and to know exactly how and why taxpayers are footing the bill, read an earlier blog offering, "A Flushing Success" for the why's and wherefores and background information about toilet issues.
Related to this in that it's money down the toilet in the true sense of the word, Congress also gave $1 million for the Waterfree Urinal Conservation Initiative in Michigan.
http://edition.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/04/05/pigbook/index.html
A while back, I shared some information regarding the now very public, World Toilet Summit. It actually initiated a lot of feedback one way and another and now the U.S. government has also seen the importance and relevance of becoming involved in this - um - important gathering focusing on - um - toilets and related issues. So much in fact that they put aside $13.5 million for the International Fund for Ireland, which helped finance the World Toilet Summit.
In the way of background information and to know exactly how and why taxpayers are footing the bill, read an earlier blog offering, "A Flushing Success" for the why's and wherefores and background information about toilet issues.
Related to this in that it's money down the toilet in the true sense of the word, Congress also gave $1 million for the Waterfree Urinal Conservation Initiative in Michigan.
http://edition.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/04/05/pigbook/index.html
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
COLD STORAGE
Talk about bad luck.
Most people or let's say a lot of people anyway, are buried in a traditional manner, traditional being coffin in the ground or cremation. However, there are those among us who opt for whatever reasons to be cryogenically frozen in anticipation that science will find a way to revive them and they will live on. Why one would want to live on after living a full life i.e. well into one's senior years, is worthy of a thought of two but anyway...
So in France two founders of the cryonic movement, a married couple, opt to have their bodies frozen after death in a freezer. They die and as requested their son respects their wishes and for twenty-two years, they are kept frozen stiff (in the true sense of the word) in a freezer. There is no information provided in which section they were stored but anyway...
Somehow the freezer broke down - maybe wear-and-tear...who knows and we're all aware of what happens when you defrost frozen things. Once the internal temperature of the freezer rose to above the desired temperature level of -65C (85F), the son opted to cremate the couple. The husband who died of a stroke at the ripe old age of 84, was a doctor and spent decades anticipating his death, believing that if he was frozen and preserved, scientists would be able to bring him back to life by 2050.
Let's say for argument's sake that this was possible and plausible in that cryogenics and futuristic medicine would allow people to continue their life span. What quality of life would he (and his wife) have had coming back to life at 84? Why would anyone want to?
It's one thing to preserve a wedding bouquet but I'll pass on being put on ice.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/story/0,,1732947,00.html?gusrc=rss
Most people or let's say a lot of people anyway, are buried in a traditional manner, traditional being coffin in the ground or cremation. However, there are those among us who opt for whatever reasons to be cryogenically frozen in anticipation that science will find a way to revive them and they will live on. Why one would want to live on after living a full life i.e. well into one's senior years, is worthy of a thought of two but anyway...
So in France two founders of the cryonic movement, a married couple, opt to have their bodies frozen after death in a freezer. They die and as requested their son respects their wishes and for twenty-two years, they are kept frozen stiff (in the true sense of the word) in a freezer. There is no information provided in which section they were stored but anyway...
Somehow the freezer broke down - maybe wear-and-tear...who knows and we're all aware of what happens when you defrost frozen things. Once the internal temperature of the freezer rose to above the desired temperature level of -65C (85F), the son opted to cremate the couple. The husband who died of a stroke at the ripe old age of 84, was a doctor and spent decades anticipating his death, believing that if he was frozen and preserved, scientists would be able to bring him back to life by 2050.
Let's say for argument's sake that this was possible and plausible in that cryogenics and futuristic medicine would allow people to continue their life span. What quality of life would he (and his wife) have had coming back to life at 84? Why would anyone want to?
It's one thing to preserve a wedding bouquet but I'll pass on being put on ice.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/story/0,,1732947,00.html?gusrc=rss
Sunday, March 26, 2006
BATHROOM ETIQUETTE
Everyone uses the bathroom facilities and although there's no strict rules of conduct as such, the World Toilet Organization based in Singapore, has drawn up some toilet etiquette to help people conduct themselves in a socially acceptable manner.
For the record and for people interested in this area, the WTO's activities include:
- Research & development (i.e. Benchmark Toilet Research, in collaboration with the National University of Singapore)
- Conferences (i.e. World Toilet Summit, World Toilet Forum & Expo)
Training academy (i.e. World Toilet College)
- World Toilet Day, 19 November of each year
- Emergency Disaster projects (i.e. tsunami affected areas of India / Sri Lanka etc)
According to the organization in as far as using public bathrooms, maintenance and cleanliness must be upheld to encourage people to use them. In fact to encourage proper usage the group has provided some guidelines.
"Do not flick water on the floor after washing your hands. Instead, dry them with the hand dryer or hand towel available."
Problem is many of us upon discovering the paper towel dispenser empty and the hand dryer not working are guilty of flicking and/or shaking, which frequently results in the 'wipe-them-on-the-clothes' action. However, flicking is definitely the better option since a flick makes less mess but relegating to flicking in the sink is even better.
"Flush the toilet thoroughly after use."
The suggestiion is for "full flushes" and not a quicky-'half-flush' to eliminate the dreaded, "re-appearance"
"A hand basin is only meant for hand washing. Thus, it shouldn’t be used to wash other materials."
In other words - it is not recommended to use the sink to do the family wash after returning from a week camping trip in the wilderness. Mind you, I don't think anyone would object to a quick rinse of a bra...or a pair of socks...a dish or two... You know - light stuff.
"When using the toilet paper, just pull the exact pieces so that they would not litter the floor."
This is a little tricky and requires some mathematical skills and calculations. Would one sheet suffice after a meal at a Mexican restaurant? What about those that stick to the bottom of a shoe? Do they count?
"Vandalism is a common problem in public toilets and it often makes the toilets appear unsightly. Thus, one shouldn’t vandalize the toilets and should uphold the clean image."
This means none of that "for a good time, call Cindylou" messages.
"For guys using the toilets, do aim properly at the urinal so as not to dirty the floor."
Where else does one aim? On the ceiling?
"Ladies should not set their foot on any part of the toilet bowl so that the toilet bowl will remain clean for the next user."
Does this mean inside the bowl? I mean, why would a female (or male for that matter) want to insert a foot in toilet water? Maybe what is meant is to stand on the seat to ask a person on the outside to pass a sheet or two (but no more now!) in cases of an empty dispenser or empty toilet roll. How is it that there is no mention of this in their toilet update?
"Do not choke the toilet bowl or the hand-washing basin. They are only used for their purposes and not the other reasons."
Choke the toilet bowl? As in putting my hands around the pipes and telling it: "you are a baaaad toilet bowl!" I have to admit to hitting the soap dispenser on occasion in an attempt to extricate some liquid but I've never really felt the urge to do anything violent to the sink.
Now you all know how to act properly while in a public bathroom. Pass it on.
For the record and for people interested in this area, the WTO's activities include:
- Research & development (i.e. Benchmark Toilet Research, in collaboration with the National University of Singapore)
- Conferences (i.e. World Toilet Summit, World Toilet Forum & Expo)
Training academy (i.e. World Toilet College)
- World Toilet Day, 19 November of each year
- Emergency Disaster projects (i.e. tsunami affected areas of India / Sri Lanka etc)
According to the organization in as far as using public bathrooms, maintenance and cleanliness must be upheld to encourage people to use them. In fact to encourage proper usage the group has provided some guidelines.
"Do not flick water on the floor after washing your hands. Instead, dry them with the hand dryer or hand towel available."
Problem is many of us upon discovering the paper towel dispenser empty and the hand dryer not working are guilty of flicking and/or shaking, which frequently results in the 'wipe-them-on-the-clothes' action. However, flicking is definitely the better option since a flick makes less mess but relegating to flicking in the sink is even better.
"Flush the toilet thoroughly after use."
The suggestiion is for "full flushes" and not a quicky-'half-flush' to eliminate the dreaded, "re-appearance"
"A hand basin is only meant for hand washing. Thus, it shouldn’t be used to wash other materials."
In other words - it is not recommended to use the sink to do the family wash after returning from a week camping trip in the wilderness. Mind you, I don't think anyone would object to a quick rinse of a bra...or a pair of socks...a dish or two... You know - light stuff.
"When using the toilet paper, just pull the exact pieces so that they would not litter the floor."
This is a little tricky and requires some mathematical skills and calculations. Would one sheet suffice after a meal at a Mexican restaurant? What about those that stick to the bottom of a shoe? Do they count?
"Vandalism is a common problem in public toilets and it often makes the toilets appear unsightly. Thus, one shouldn’t vandalize the toilets and should uphold the clean image."
This means none of that "for a good time, call Cindylou" messages.
"For guys using the toilets, do aim properly at the urinal so as not to dirty the floor."
Where else does one aim? On the ceiling?
"Ladies should not set their foot on any part of the toilet bowl so that the toilet bowl will remain clean for the next user."
Does this mean inside the bowl? I mean, why would a female (or male for that matter) want to insert a foot in toilet water? Maybe what is meant is to stand on the seat to ask a person on the outside to pass a sheet or two (but no more now!) in cases of an empty dispenser or empty toilet roll. How is it that there is no mention of this in their toilet update?
"Do not choke the toilet bowl or the hand-washing basin. They are only used for their purposes and not the other reasons."
Choke the toilet bowl? As in putting my hands around the pipes and telling it: "you are a baaaad toilet bowl!" I have to admit to hitting the soap dispenser on occasion in an attempt to extricate some liquid but I've never really felt the urge to do anything violent to the sink.
Now you all know how to act properly while in a public bathroom. Pass it on.
Friday, March 24, 2006
TO PEE OR NOT TO PEE - THAT IS THE QUESTION...OR ISSUE
Don't even bother asking me how I come accross these stories. I just do. Let's just say that I scan through a lot of newspapers from around the world to seek out the "unusual" aspect of a story. It has to be noted though - well it doesn't have to but it is weird - that my searches seem to flush out toilet stories.
This story caught my eye since it involves the elimination of public toilets due to monetary considerations. In other words, their funding got cut back to the easiest place to make cuts is in the elimination of toilets! I mean, who's going to care? Upwards of a million toilet users a year - that's who! How can one put a price on the anxiety of seeking out a toilet on a full bladder?
Anyway, negociations are still on going to find a solution. Solution??? Just open up the toilets, people!
http://www.ashbournenewstelegraph.co.uk/detail.asp?cat=General%20News&id=6288995
This story caught my eye since it involves the elimination of public toilets due to monetary considerations. In other words, their funding got cut back to the easiest place to make cuts is in the elimination of toilets! I mean, who's going to care? Upwards of a million toilet users a year - that's who! How can one put a price on the anxiety of seeking out a toilet on a full bladder?
Anyway, negociations are still on going to find a solution. Solution??? Just open up the toilets, people!
http://www.ashbournenewstelegraph.co.uk/detail.asp?cat=General%20News&id=6288995
Saturday, March 18, 2006
THE BUZZ ON BEES
Once again I'm angst-ing bordering on hyperventilating. The cause of my anxiety is bees. Not just any bees but African Killer Bees that are slowly making their presence felt in North America.
I've been keeping track of their slow but sure migration since first reading about them in the 1960's. These are bees with a big - accent on the big - attitude. Look at them the wrong way and they attack in a swarm.
In the way of background information a while back in 1957, twenty-six queens of a particularly mean race of honeybees originating from Africa, escaped from the site of a genetics experiment in Brazil. The bees were part of a scientific experiment to cross breed the angry bees with your subdued, ‘you-don’t-bother-me, I-won’t-bother-you’ domestic bee types to see if they would produce more honey. More honey, ergo, bigger profits. As is the case in many scientific experiments, things got out of hand and the mean bees known as apis mellifera adansonii, have been making their presence felt…in a big way.
Over the years there have been reports of their arrival at the Texas/Mexico border and there are reports of them in California. Having watched the movie, "The Swarm" featuring their arrival and impact on your average every day people, I knew there could be trouble ahead.
The latest buzz is they're heeeeere and are making their presence felt this year in Florida. I mean, in Florida for heaven's sake where people go for their winter escape and to relax on sandy beaches! So far and according to what I've read the baaaad bees can be calmed by smoke. There is always the question or issue of who in their right mind would smoke them out? They are also known to swarm only when crowded. How do these bees define crowded? One person standing directly in front of them?
There are some studies that indicate the Brazillian interlopers hate high pitched sounds. Now this could be their downfall. Perhaps - just perharps - they could be controlled with...say...heavy metal music and bands! Or even better, playing Barry Manilow songs in the vicinity of a known hive! One full dose of "Mandy" and they could be gone forever!
Word has it that they can't stand cold weather. I know exactly where they're coming from. Amazing how our typical Canadian winter that lasts six months of the year is looking better and better.
I've been keeping track of their slow but sure migration since first reading about them in the 1960's. These are bees with a big - accent on the big - attitude. Look at them the wrong way and they attack in a swarm.
In the way of background information a while back in 1957, twenty-six queens of a particularly mean race of honeybees originating from Africa, escaped from the site of a genetics experiment in Brazil. The bees were part of a scientific experiment to cross breed the angry bees with your subdued, ‘you-don’t-bother-me, I-won’t-bother-you’ domestic bee types to see if they would produce more honey. More honey, ergo, bigger profits. As is the case in many scientific experiments, things got out of hand and the mean bees known as apis mellifera adansonii, have been making their presence felt…in a big way.
Over the years there have been reports of their arrival at the Texas/Mexico border and there are reports of them in California. Having watched the movie, "The Swarm" featuring their arrival and impact on your average every day people, I knew there could be trouble ahead.
The latest buzz is they're heeeeere and are making their presence felt this year in Florida. I mean, in Florida for heaven's sake where people go for their winter escape and to relax on sandy beaches! So far and according to what I've read the baaaad bees can be calmed by smoke. There is always the question or issue of who in their right mind would smoke them out? They are also known to swarm only when crowded. How do these bees define crowded? One person standing directly in front of them?
There are some studies that indicate the Brazillian interlopers hate high pitched sounds. Now this could be their downfall. Perhaps - just perharps - they could be controlled with...say...heavy metal music and bands! Or even better, playing Barry Manilow songs in the vicinity of a known hive! One full dose of "Mandy" and they could be gone forever!
Word has it that they can't stand cold weather. I know exactly where they're coming from. Amazing how our typical Canadian winter that lasts six months of the year is looking better and better.
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