YET ANOTHER YOUNG HOLLYWOOD TALENT GONE ASTRAY - AGAIN

She's in the news again. Grabbed the last few minutes of Larry King Show on CNN last night since they had a guest host (forget his name) a lawyer who was excellent and a refreshing breeze of needed pizzaz on the show, along with a group of high-profile lawyers who defend well-known people in the entertainment business and actor Daniel Baldwin, discussing and analyzing the latest Lohan case and her recent relapse. Access Hollywood's Billy Bush was also a guest.

Baldwin, who has his own issues with drugs and/or alcohol abuse and has been in and out of rehab. himself, elaborated on the psyche of the addict and that Lohan - or anyone with addiction problems - has to address the underlying psychological problem, which causes the addiction before being be "cured." Given her (Lohan's) upbringing and lack of parental guidance thereof and her sudden thrust into the limelight (and fame) at a young age, her response was to turn to drugs and alcohol for solace. Baldwin also emphasized that she will have to hit rock bottom and acknowledge that she has hit rock bottom.

Speaking of the parents...Lindsay's dad put in an appearance and it seems that he has seen the light and has turned to religion for solace. Good for him. However his conversion has impelled if not compelled him to preach his beliefs to the apparently not-ready-to-hear-Lindsay and as a result, has been in trouble with the law regarding his over-zealousness.

The general concensus among the guests was that she could get sentenced for a long as in 6 mnths. or more stay once again in rehab., or given the fact that she's got a drunken driving charge over her head already and committed the same offense again, could do real time in a federal prison. It will be interesting to see if she will get the celebrity version of a sentence or be treated in the same manner as anyone else.

Seems that according to Lohan, she's now hinting that she was framed...or something similar but is definitely not admitting that the drug(s) found on her were in fact hers. After Bush e-mailed Lohan to inquire as to how she was doing, she e-mailed him back stating, "Yes. I am innocent...did not do drugs, they're not mine. I was almost hit by my assistsant, Tarin's mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy."

Sure Lindsay. Anything you say.

Oh well... Looks like she'll have a lot of time to think about it - behind bars unless she wises up.

Read the Access Hollywood story here:http://www.accesshollywood.com/news/ah6192.shtml


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WELL-KNOWN COMEDIANS PLAY IT "JUST FOR LAUGHS" IN MONTREAL NO LESS!

One thing that can be said about Montreal at this time of the year is that things take a funny turn. It's all due to the fact that the annual "Just for Laughs Comedy Festival" comes to town along with the appearance of some of the best known stand-ups accross the world.

In the past Jerry Seinfeld, Ray Romano, Jon Stewart and other famous or recognized "names" have made their name doing gigs "back when." This year William Shatner who is now as famous for his TV selling as his Capt. Kirk role, hosted a Gala comedy show as is Billy Connelly. All-in-all -Montreal bubbles-over with laughter and the place where humor rules. Pure entertainment and then some.

The names and comedians may have changed but the jokes and comedy are still the same with jokes that "slay." Here's a sampling of some of the best:"

"In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk. Ladies, you fake orgasms. We fake listening."
"I'm a black male, over 40, with no kids, living in the suburbs they wanted to put me in a museum. Why did I move to the suburbs? I started watching Desperate Housewives. If comedy didn't work out I can always try gardening."
"Women like jewelry. They're like racoons: show them some shiny stuff and they'll follow you home."
(Alonzo Bodden)

"I was in college: I went to I.O.U." "I was studying psychology and then I went straight into therapy."
"Twenty five years ago there were no computers. Can you imagine your job without solitaire?"
(Wendy Liebman)

"Marriage is built on paranoia and mistrust. I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and she wakes up out of dead sleep to say where are you going? Why, to have sex with the midget I store in the medicine closet,"
( Tom Papa)

"If the food needed pepper, it should be on it."
(Michael McIntyre (a Brit) on obsequious waiters)

"I told my mother I wanted to grow up and be a comedian. She said you can't do both."
"I was just at the airport. Those treadmills they've got are huge."
"My friend said you have to read this book, it's a page turner. Well, I know how books work." (Jimmy Carr)

"I'm proud of my grandfather. He shot down two German planes. Unfortunately this was in 1972, but you can never be too careful."
(John Moloney)

"In Dubai I got a throat infection and I coughed up phlegm and accidentally ordered a taxi to the airport."
(Sean Meo)

"You know you're fat when you drop something and say do I need that'?"
(Robert Kelly)

"In the German lottery, they don't pick six winning numbers. No, they eee-eliminate 43 numbers."
(John Moloney)

"Over 100 metres, crocodiles are faster than horses.. Don't know how many horses it took to prove that."
"Corn-fed, farm-reared chicken, good at tennis. I don't want to know about his childhood. I just want to eat the bloody thing."
(Danny Bhoy)

"People assume life in hell is hell. But they've got it all wrong. The devil looks on fondly on the sinners. He tells them: You've lied. You've cheated. You've stolen. Why, you've done the devil's bidding. Help yourself to drugs and hookers forever.' It's heaven that has to be the eternal bore."
(Jim Jeffries)

"Just caught CNN's Larry King and Britney Spears on the tube in a meeting of the mind."
(Dave Attell)

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PARIS FOLLOW-UP...THE BECKHAMS ARRIVE..."LITTLE BRITAIN" - U.S. STYLE

Just when the world assumed or hoped, anyway, that they had heard the last of or at the very least had a rest from Paris Hilton, now comes word that she's being investigated for having special privileges during her stint behind bars...or the equivalent.

Seems that the Los Angeles County Sherriff's Department has opened an investigation to determine whether she received special treatment. To quote Homer Simpson: "doh!"

The internal investation will determine - wait for it - whether the heiress had access to a cell phone when all the other inmates had to wait in line to use your regular pay phones. As if this isn't bad enough they will also be looking into whether she was given a new jail uniform instead of a recycled one like most of the other inmates. Last but not least, they will be looking into whether she had her mail delivered by a captain given that most mail is delivered by inmate trusties.

Such crucial issues!


U.S. VERSION OF "LITTLE BRITAIN" COMING TO TV SCREENS

As an occasional viewer of the British comedy series, "Little Britain", which can definitely be described as naughty bordering on dirty, it comes as a surprise that there are plans to bring the series to this side of the ocean. The series that created the characters Vicky Pollard and "I'm the only gay in the village" Daffyd famous, will feature a mix of existing characters from their BBC shows and new ones who will depict contemporary America.

The series will be shows on HBO and actors Matt Lucas and David Williams will make it viewable for U.S. audiences in fall 2008.

source: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/television/news/e3i1d96f56a2f843689bdac29b52238ecb4


DAVID BEKHAM AND POSH SPICE TODAYS CELEBRITIES OF THE HOUR?

Since the arrival of Posh Spice and her (more famous?) soccer star husband, David Bekham, it's been non-stop photos of the couple who have arrived on this side of the pond. He's here to play for his new team, The Galaxy, while Posh plays...herself in a special about...Posh, "Victoria Bekham: Coming to America" and part of the Spice Girls reunion tour.


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HOMER TO VISIT SPRINGFIELD, VT...IVANKA SAYS "THANKS BUT NO THANKS" TO THE VIEW...NEW USE FOR CAVIAR

Being that it's summer and always a slow-ish time in news, what better way to spend idle hours than to catch up on some celebrity gossip or updates.

Still waiting to hear who the new host will be for "The View" and hoping that either Whoopie Goldberg or comedian, Kathy Griffin will be the new addition. Speaking or writing about The View, one person who is definitely not interested is Ivanka Trump, who reports in People magazine that "there's zero chance I would do that." Hey - works for me since I don't think she's out-going enough to handle the job. Maybe dad, though, would be interested.


It's official. The town of Springfield, Vermont, population 9,300 has been selected to show the premiere of The Simpson's movie on July 21. In selecting the Vermont town 13 other Springfields in the U.S. were reported to have commented, "d'oh" upon learning the news.


Some people prefer theirs on a wafer while others like actress, Catherine Zeta-Jones prefers her caviar applied directly on her hair for that extra-healthy look. Not only caviar but truffles too. Seems that the Beluga (no less) is flown in from Iran five days ahead of her salon treatments in England at a cost of £200 a shot. Let's hope she doesn't run into any cats.

News you don't need to might might want to know:

According to her blog, Tori Spelling is now an ordained minister. For her first...act as Minister Tory, she united "Tony and Dex as life partners in love."

MICHAEL MOORE GETS DOWN AND NASTY

Love him or hate him, one thing for sure is that Michael Moore, he of "Sicko" fame sure knows how to get attention. For example yesterday, Monday, July 9, Moore took on CNN's Wolf Blitzer leaving the veteran reporter more-or-less speechless. A bitter tirade of words flowed out of Moore's mouth as he touched upon subjects that included Iraq and the criticism of some of his facts in "Sicko."

As expected YouTube has the visuals here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJL1ax4KdoY


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DID YOU HEAR THE JOKE ABOUT...

Just wondering - I do that a lot - if there are people reading this who are joke-deprived. By joke-deprived I'm not referring to the actual act of "getting" or appreciating when someone relates a funny story. I'm referring here to the actual act of telling or re-telling a joke that was told to them.

Y'see - I can't.

Well... I could if it was socially acceptable or allowable to carry the joke around on a piece of paper and read it aloud. However, I can't envision sitting at a table with - let's say - a business aquaintance and whipping out a cue card from my purse and then saying, "hey - did 'ya hear the one about..." after which I would recite it.

On the rare occasion that I've attempted to re-tell a joke, either I forgot the punch line or relate the joke incorrectly. Then I get hurt when nobody laughs or there's a puzzled expression on their face.


It leads one to wonder if there's a secret in joke telling and to this end a search on the Web revealed some hints in an article printed in Reader's Digest, with some hints passed on by some well-known comedians.

Comedian Jay Leno advises people to keep it simple.

"If you just do a joke about the funny noise that potato chips make when you bite into them, you'll get more laughs. Jokes work best when they're easy to understand," Leno advises.

Meanwhile, Conan O'Brien advises:
"The most important thing is to keep it short. It's like knowing when to leave the table in Vegas. Get your laugh or, if you're lucky, laughs, and then get off the stage. If you don't trust yourself, hire a friend to tackle you after four minutes."


So now I'm wondering (and admittedly hoping) that there are others like me "out there" that suffer from this affliction. If so - let's share angst and pass on some joke-telling advice and/or hints

By the way - heard any good jokes lately?

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U.S. PRESIDENTS ARE CHEESY

There are many ways as there choices in which to enjoy and savor cheese but in this world, there exists people who feel the need - nay the necessity - to take cheese to the next level.

Cheese lover, Troy Landwehr of Little Chute, Wisconsin, a state that knows something about this milk product, has created, carved and immortalized four U.S. president in cheddar. Seems the cheese carver has had this habit for almost twenty years and he began his first cheesy replica, the Batman logo, twenty years ago. His latest creation resembling those at Mount Rushmore includes Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln.

There is no information supplied as to the choice of cheddar instead of say stilton, mozzarella, provolone or others but cheddar does have a firm texture, which would make a good carving surface.

He will be promoting his sculpture in New York before it - the cheese - goes on tour where it will be stored, hopefully and presumably, in a rodent-free environment. Ultimately, the cheese quartet will end up in Oklahome where it will be cut up into cubes.

The cheese sculptor was commissed to make the sculpture by a cracker company.
Here's a photo of Landwehr in all his cheesiness:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6258058.stm


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SHE'S OUUUUUUT! PARIS & LARRY KING: THE INTERVIEW?

At time of writing - afternoon - Paris Hilton, she of the "orange-is-so-tacky" will be giving her first (but probably not last) interview with CNN's Larry King tonight. Guaranteed Larry will be asking her the really tough questions that he is known for, perhaps something like this:

"So Paris - tell us the truth. We heard you were constipated due to the lack of a balanced diet in jail. Is this true and if so, who do you blame?"

And she will answer:"Well Garry..."

"That would be Larry..."

"Oh yeah. All those names sound alike. Like I told all you media people, I've seen the light. Gawd - how could I miss it being on day and night and night and day..."

"Your diet, Paris?"

"Oh yeah. Well...um... Where was I? Where's my good book?"

"You mean your Bible?"

"No silly man! I mean, my black book full of phone numbers of my friends!"

"Now about the prison food?"

"Well Harry..."

"Larry...Larry! My name is Larry!"

"Yeah. Whatever... The food was blechy. Really blechy. Actually, it was the presentation that spoiled it all. My daddy - he's very rich y'know - my daddy always tells his chefs that presentation is everything. I mean, macaroni can look so much better when you - um - something like that. They should hire me! Maybe I can start a new career!"

"So Paris - the whole wide world - is waiting to know about the constipation issue. Were you or weren't you?"

"Excuse me camera people - are you getting my best side? Were I or weren't I what?"

"Oh Paris - you're a real riot, girl! Constipated!"

"Constipated? What does that mean? Why don't we stick to the important questions like my new hair shade. D'ya like it, Barry?"

"It's Larry, Paris!"

"Ohmygawd! You have the same last name as my first name! Isn't that like...so funny? Maybe we're related! Do you own any Hilton hotels? Are you sure you people are catching my best side?

Something like that.

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TURNING THE CAMERA ON MICHAEL MOORE: NOT SO NICE

One thing for sure: wherever and whenever a Michael Moore film is released to the public, controversy follows. There is no denying that this is a documentary film maker who excels in getting the public to pay attention and then get them into the theatres, whereupon he presents his view of the subject at hand. For many people, therein lies the problem. As Moore himself has stated that a documentary film maker presents a point of view, period.

There is some irony in that the film makers - Debbie Melnyk and Rick Caine are Canadians and in their film "Manufacturing Dissent", they turn their lens on Moore himself.The embryo for making their film is intriguing in that it started out as an attempt for the duo to speak with Moore, who at that time was their hero when it came to making doc. films. However, Moore for whatever reason, had no interest in talking to them. Not such a good idea since they ended up making a movie examining Moore and the validity of his methods in acquiring and using background information for his docs. Also interesting to note the content for their film was not acquired through Moore himself but through friends, former friends and colleagues.

Read the interviews and then go see the film. I plan to.


Trailer for film on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3IUU7a4wB0


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A QUIRKY (OR TWO) - A-DAY KEEPS THE BLUES AWAY

Being that it's a relatively slow day for news items - at least for this blog - what better opportunity than to report on the lighter side of life.

It's not unusual for people to join in singing hymns in church but a special singer lends his voice in a manner of speaking, to the proceedings at a chapel in Wales. The singer - or barker to be exact - is Teddy, a guide dog who enjoys joining the parishiners in song.

The five year old golden retriever who had been accompanying his temporary caretaker, Nona Rees to church since last February but it's only recently that he's taken a more active or vocal role. Ms Rees had been babysitting Teddy until his owner recovers from an illness.

Initially, the dog used to sleep during hymn singing but one day he just...barked right in with the rest of the congregation. According to Ms Rees, Teddy particularly enjoys the faster and louder hymns. As expected he's unfamiliar with the words and there is no information as to his favorites.

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You can imagine how pleased crime fighting authorities in Russia were with their first Russian Robocop, hailed as the first member of a revolutionary new crime fighting force. Think of the possibilities with a crime fighter that can deflect bullets...and other exciting stuff. A joint project funded by police and city authorities in Perm, eastern Russia, the crime-fighter has video cameras and sensors that relay pictures and data to police stations accross the city, alerting them to a crime occuring and the location. The six-foot tall egg-shaped robot which moves on four wheels is a joint project funded by the police and city authorities in Perm, eastern Russia.

However -it's always the howevers in life that are so bothersome - nobody counted on the six foot tall egg-shaped robot to be short-circuited in the true sense of the word, by rain. It was on the streets for a mere few hours before it was recalled for repairs since heavy rain damaged its circuitry. Officials are still sold on the idea and more are planned for the future.

Shades of Terminator! Where's Governor Schwarzneggar when you need him?


And how was your week?

"CREATURE COMFORTS" - TOONS AT THEIR BEST - AND FUNNIEST

Given that TV viewers ignore a large portion of summer-time programs, this one could easily fall victim to the chopping block due to lack of publicity and interest. Hence my big push to familiarize anyone reading this to this new series and concept.

The name of this animated series is "Creature Comforts" and it can be seen on CBS on Monday nights. Not the best time spot but be that as it may...

The animation, which is superb and hysterical by the way, is by the same team that brought us the films, "Wallace and Grommit" but this series has something different going for it. The people behind the scenes travelled accross the U.S. and asked ordinary people i.e. me/you some very basic questions. For example something to the effect: "what do you think about aging?" to a wide variety of people and ages and cultural backgrounds, after which the questions were answered and discussed by animated animal 'toons.

In one particular segment a trio of a capella singers ended up as a nest of warbling birds. Very funny. Or in another memorable segment, two middle-aged male and female bulldogs discuss life from various perspectives. Still another segment featured "older" love birds discussing their various physical ailments.

Rather than me rant on and on about the series, drop by and get a taste of what it's all about here. You can download or watch segment to see why I'm gung-ho and raving about it.


http://www.cbs.com/primetime/creature_comforts/


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BRITISH ARTIST SELLS FRAMED ROADKILL

Most drivers will try to avoid driving over a dead animal carcas strewn over a highway but a British artist (if you can call him that...I would call him weirrrrrrrd) is selling - wait for it - squashed/mashed/mangled and framed no less, hare and fox for - again wait for it -£35,000.

The artist in question who lives in Horsley, gets his inspiration by scraping off animals who have encountered cars and lost, off the cement highways. He then takes them home (presumably but who knows) and skins them after which he sticks them in a frame and displays them to the public! Why - who knows. Art? Self-expression?

In order to sustain his supply the artist has set up a "roadkill hotline" for people to get in touch with him when they spot a squished animal.Does the union representing highway cleaners know about this?

There's more - don't read this if you haven't had your breakfast/whatever yet - he actually eats their flesh before using them for sculptures and admits to eating badgers, squirrels and hares.

He claims that he uses roadkill to highlight how people have become alienated from the natural world. O-kay...whatever... Personally, the possibility of the lingering taste of rubber from the tires is enough to put me off.

His sons aged 8, 12 years and 7 year old daughter, all vegetarians co-incidentally(!), love his work. I bet.

By the way and if you're in the area it can be viewed at Griffin Mill, near Stroud, as part of the town's arts festival. Viewing it on an empty stomach is suggested. There is no information available as to whether there are any buyers.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/gloucestershire/6742407.stm


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PARIS HILTON DAILY UPDATE: PARIS CALLS BARBARA WALTERS

Hmmm... Don't quite know what to make of this. Perhaps an attempt at trying to re-build her credibility?

Seems that Paris H. was able to phone ABC's Barbara Walters, she of "The View" to discuss...stuff and presumably her current incarceration.

"I used to act dumb," she told Walters in the exclusive phone conversation. "That act is no longer cute. Now, I would like to make a difference. ... God has given me this new chance."

Um...used to act? I really must curb my tendency to be saracastic and cynical because it's obvious that Paris is trying to turn over a new leaf and change her life because...because...she's seen the light. Actually, more than one light that will focus on her when she gets out of jail.

She went on about how horrific her experience in jail has been...about being and feeling depressed...and it generally being a horrible experience.

Duh...

It was a collect call and Walters agreed to accept the charges. Aw - that's like...so nice and generous of her!

Anyway, the interview will be on ABC's "The View" today if anybody is interested.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=3264588&page=1


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PARIS HILTON AND PUBLIC SYMPATHY

After a mere 24 hours more or less of serving out her jail sentence in her luxury estate, heiress Paris Hilton is back behind bars. Media reports indicate that she was hysterical and calling for her mother, as she was led out to a waiting police car that whisked her back to jail.

It will be interesting how this whole incident will play out with the public.

By the mere act of being Paris Hilton, party girl, international celebrity and rich heiress who appears to flaunt authority, public sympathy was not on her side on the onset. In a statement released before her initial incarceration, she appeared to accept the consequences of her action.

"During the past few weeks, I have had a lot of time to think and have come to realise I made some mistakes. This is an important point in my life and I need to take responsibility for my actions. In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make."

However a short time later reports began to circulate regarding her physical condition and it wasn't long before she was sent packing accompanied by an electronic bracelet to serve out her sentence at home in her mansion. Perhaps due to the public outcry focusing on celebrity justice and laws for the rich and the regular people, she was back in court and will have to serve her sentence behind bars.

Thing is...had she accepted the consequences of her action as she claimed initially to do and serve time behind bars, public sympathy would have been with her and she might even have emerged a hero of sorts. Once she defied traditional incarcertation, however, the public appeared to turn on her.

How she will be perceived by the public down the line will depend on the length of her stay in jail.

BTW - where are all her good friends and ex-boyfriends with whom she hangs out and accompany her on globe trotting jaunts, when she needs them? What about her ex-boyfriend? Guess she's as good as her last party.


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UH-OH...COULD BE TROUBLE ON THE HORIZON FOR PARIS!

Uh-oh...looks like Paris Hilton might have to trade in her designer duds for a no-name, run-of-the-mill orange jump suit with a number!

Having been released from jail on Thursday and now serving her "time" at home Los Angeles's top prosecutor, Rocky Delgadillo, is not a happy man. Seems he's quite upset with the county's sherriff decision to release Paris from serving time in prison and allowing her to wear an electronic ankle bracelet while - um - lounging around her humble abode watching TV...being served meals by servants, etc. etc. Seems that his office is of the opinion that her early release undermines his efforts to apply "equal justice."

A mere few hours after Paris Hilton was sent packing back to her mansion under house arrest, the judge who put her in jail ordered her back to court to decide whether she should go back behind bars. The judge in question, Michael T. Sauer issued his order after the city attorney filed a petition on Thursday afternoon, demanding to show cause why Sheriff Lee Baca should not be held in contempt of court for releasing Paris that morning, and demanding that she be retained in custody.

According to media reports she was released due to "medical condition(s)", which have reported to be a) a skin rash (pure speculation here but maybe they forgot to add fabric softener to the final wash) or b) psychological problems. One wonders how many other prisoners also experience psychological problems being incarcerated but don't get released with an electronic ankle bracelet.

Read more about her current legal problems here:http://www.montereyherald.com/ci_6082816?source=most_viewed

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PARIS HILTON NO LONGER BEHIND BARS - WHAT A SURPRISE!

Boy am I ever shocked! Paris Hilton, she of the "I-want-to-set-an-example-for-others" was released today after being in prison - in isolation no less away from life's 'undesirables' - for a mere 4 days.

According to media reports she was released due to medical problems. Hang nail springs to mind...or the emergence of a zit... Officially, she couldn't cope with it all.

Duh.

Perhaps and unknowingly, Paris has set a precedent and other prisoners will claim hardship and ask to be released early because they couldn't cope.

So now Paris is under house arrest for 40 days and has to wear an electronic bracelet that will monitor her movement. Law enforcement officials will know for example, when Paris relaxes and dines el fresco by her pool, and lounges in other rooms of her mansion.

It's a tough sentence but someone has to serve it! There is no information as to whether the bracelet in question came in a selection of colors and styles or designer models.

www.http://www.dailyherald.com/story.asp?id=320892

http://origin.mercurynews.com/breakingnews/ci_6082867


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PARIS HILTON BEHIND BARS...WELL...YEAH...KIND'A

So y'see...Paris Hilton, she of the girls-just-wanna-have-fun Hilton heiress, is in jail...in a manner of speaking. She showed up at a Los Angeles Country jail for a three week visit...that is to say, jail sentence for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

Although she was sentenced to 45 days behind bars, Paris is expected to serve only 23 days due to a state law requiring shorter sentences for good behavior.

Say what?

Good behavior? She violated probation on an alcohol related reckless driving charge and gets rewarded?

She is quoted as commenting: "I am trying to be strong right now," she told reporters on the red carpet. "I'm ready to face my sentence. Even though this is a really hard time, I have my family, my friends and my fans to support me, and that's really helpful."

"I'm really scared but I'm ready to do this," she added. "And I hope that I'm an example to other young people."

Again - say what?

The young heiress with lots of $$$ gets a reduced sentence and she wants to set and example?Her cell is located in a "special needs" unit separate from most of the 2,200 inmates. Why should we not be surprised? The unit contains 12 two-person cells reserved for police officers, public officials, celebrities and other high-profile inmates. She could have a cellmate. As is the case with other inmates in the unit, Paris will eat in her cell (no mention of the menu btw) and be allowed outside for at least an hour each day to shower, watch TV in the day room, participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone. No cell phones or BlackBerrys are permitted in the facility, even for visitors.

Read about Paris in jail here: http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=a0e110df-179e-480b-beed-7860c4132755

Comments anyone? Is Paris receiving priveleges not offered to "normals"?


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OF CHEESE ROLLERS AND COWS...MILKING A STORY FOR ALL ITS WORTH

Shades of Monty Python!

At one time cheese was a healthy food that people ate, period. Lately though, it appears that cheese has and is being used as something worthy of watching and now (for a while it appears) comes the sport of cheese-chasing. At least it is in England where both cheese "activities" take place, but let's focus our attention this time on the latter.

Every year at the end of May or Spring bank holiday as it is known in England, a bunch of people from all over Europe for some reason known only to them - perhaps they're cheese-a-holics - roll chunks of cheese down a hill.

Yup...cheese.

The cheese used is a 7-8 lb. double Gloucestser, which moves, slides and/or bounces down a steep hill 200m long and has a 1:1 gradient in places. There is no information provided whether participants bring along a cheese slicer and/or crackers but let's assume not. It's also a great and unique excuse for arriving late to work: a cheese traffic tie-up.

A group of volunteers from St. John Ambulance were standing by to treat boo-boo's most of which were reported to be cuts, bruises and sprains.

Dating back thousands of years the competition consists of a series of downhill races with the winner of each receiving a 7-8 pound circle of cheese, while runners-up get £10 and a £5 prize for third place. Seems like a very cheesy prize if you ask me.

The winner, Aaron Walden, 20, from Gloucester, won for the third time beating a man dressed in a diaper to the bottom of the hill. Nothing about him carrying a bottle of skim milk directly from cows as is the case in the next story.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/gloucestershire/6696717.stm


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Think about this the next time you drink your glass of skim milk.

A group of experts at a biotechnology company in New Zealand have discovered that some cows have a gene that allows them to give skim milk. And we "normals" thought that there was a de-fatting process involved! That's as much as we know.

Identified in 2001, the team has been able to breed calves that can produce the skimmed variety and those involved believe that it can have a significant impact on the dairy industry. Furthermore, the original low-fat cow who goes by the name "Marge", produces milk very low in saturated fats.

What's next? Cows that can give low-fat yogurt?

Read the entire story here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/6700129.stm


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FAMILY CAT HAS POSTAL CARRIERS WALKING SCARED

When it comes to delivering mail postal carriers are usually concerned with dog attacks and family pooches that bound out of nowhere to protect their owner's property. It's rare however, to hear or read a story about cats, as in they who "meow," however this is the case in Winnipeg, Canada, where a postal worker fears for her safety when nearing the house of Shadow, an 8 year old black cat.

Shadow's owner recently received a letter from Canada Post that due to the cat's alleged growling (!), postal delivery to said house is discontinued. Furthermore, the cat's owners now have to travel 4 kilometres to pick up mail until future arrangements can be made. The recent turn of events has Shadow's owners very disconcerted since they know their family cat to be cuddly, loving and easy going. It appears though when it comes to mail delivery, Shadow turns into a furry ball of growling feline-ness.

For its part Canada Post stated that the postlady who reported the cat described Shadow as having a threatening manner. Makes you wonder what said postlady does upon coming accross an aggresive dog. It also occurred to me that black cats get a bad rap or rep for being born with black fur. This is a statistical fact in that shelters have a difficult time getting them adopted.

In any case both sides are working to resolve the issue although Shadow hasn't been asked for any input. Even if he was he would probably ignore the humans, anyway.

http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/story/3958304p-4570989c.html

TEN MONTH OLD BABY RECEIVES LICENSE TO OWN A FIREARM

This is definitely one for the stupidity in action book or what-were/are-they-thinking.

A 10-month old baby has received a state-issued firearm owner's identification - FOID - card a couple of weeks ago. Owning said card means that the baby nick-named, Bubba, can if he wants own a firearm as well as ammunition. For the record Bubba lives in Illinois.

Huh?

Yup. It's true and what's more his father completed and submitted the form along with the usual fee. Owning this card Bubba can legally transport an unloaded weapon even though he can't walk yet. A photo provided with the news item shows an identification photo of Bubba, his age and date of birth, his height being 2 feet 3 inches and weight of 20 pounds, smiling broadly with missing teeth 'cause the gun owner is only 10 months, y'know! The toddler is barely on solid food yet he can shoot a gun if he felt like it instead of playing with building blocks. At the bottom of the card is his superimposed signature since Bubba can't sign his name. Usually toddlers of this age can barely hold a pacifier never mind writing instrument so his signature was superimposed by dad, who held a pencil in Bubba's hand.

Gimme a break!

The rationale if you can call it that behind this ridiculous idea is Bubba's grandfather is an avid trapshooter and wanted an heirloom for his grandson. Many grandparents would pass along a family photo album or perhaps a hand-me-down armchair but grandpa decided a rifle was a better idea. Given the recent shooting tragedies, this grandfather receives the dumbest idea for a gift yet.

Read the piece written by Bubba's father here and then share your opinion.

http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/383091,CST-NWS-bubba13.article

A photo of Bubba and dad:
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/bizarre/4809470.html


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