Do we care? X-Factor joins American Idol vs The Voice...and so it goes

The fall TV line up is just beginning and already the comparison commentary has begun. This week "X-Factor", the singing competition highly promoted by Simon Cowell with good reason - it's his baby - made its debut. The American version of the successful Brit show that instroduced the world to Susan Boyle, boasted a live audience that reacted to the various singers.

As one of the original judges on American Idol since it first began in 2002, he announced his departure in 2010 to create the U.S. version of  "X-Factor." As one of the AI judges and along with Paula Abdul, the two threw verbal jabs at each other and in the end, Abdul ended up joining Cowell on his new project. Nothing like on view hostility, feigned or real, to get tongues wagging and viewers attention.

Have to admit that given all the pre-show attention and TV promos, I joined all the other viewers to see if the new addition justified a weekly committment to another talent show. Basically, that's what it all comes down to: the oldie-but-always-relevant talent parade. Years ago in the days of early TV when color TV was still in the dream stage, Ted Mack hosted "Ted Mack's Amateur Hour", the embryo of today's musical reality shows. It lacked the polish and finish of today's versions but the hopefuls did their thing hoping for stardom. The gimmick was that Mack spun a wheel with the names of the talent lineup to determine their order of appearance. Later the show was joined by the very weirdish, "The Gong Show." Obviously, TV viewers enjoy the idea of watching amateur talent put themselves at the mercy of judges critiques and the at-home voting machine.

As the French say, the more things change, the more they're the same and it will be interesting to see if X-Factor lives up to its hype. If initial ratings are an indication, American Idol has the numbers but it's still the early stages. To its credit, X-Factor doesn't have an age barrier, which is the reason the world is better for having Susan Boyle. In as far as originality is concerned, the show is basically same-old, same-old, IMHO, but some real talent was introduced.

At least the plethora of shows is giving singers, both good and bad, accross the country the opportunity to be heard. Let's be honest: it's an entertaining aspect of the programs. Always interesting to see how off-key some of the contestants can be. At least I restrict my singing to the shower.

Oh joy - another birthday

Last week I became one year older. Actually, I didn't have any choice in the matter. That's the problem with birthdays. It's not like somebody calls you up once per year and asks if you want one. You just get it anyway. It's the gift that keeps on giving, if you get my drift.

This was a particularly interesting year in that unlike most people, I thought I was one year older than I actually was. Don't ask me why or how this occurred but most likely it has to do with not enough fingers and toes with which to calculate and math never was my strong point in school. Most people fix their birthdate to make themselves younger, which is understandable.

Thinking further on my miscalculation, it's interesting how nobody picked up on it. Perhaps they too didn't have enough fingers or toes or it was easier to take me at my word. I mean, who lies about being older other than teenagers? Right? On the brink of becoming a teenager, we used to make ourselves a year older than we were because - I dunno - it seemed like a cool idea. Or when asked one's age, we would always supply a fraction as in: "oh I'm twelve and a half." As if the half made all the difference. There was a mysterious appeal in wanting to always be older but as many of us (not all) age, we start to go backwards. Let's just say I wouldn't want all the candles on the cake for safety reasons and leave it at that.

Pyschologically, this has adversely affected me. The error was discovered by my husband, who picked up on the miscalculation during a pre-birthday conversation. Stunned at the discovery I jotted down the year I was born and the present year, did the math and sure enough it all added up. I'm one year younger than I believed myself to be! So the issue now is - how do I celebrate the missing year and what to tell people who ask my age. Most likely they'll say: "but weren't you that last year?" I mean, what does one answer?

Lots of well-known people have commented about birthdays and getting older.
- "Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang ‘Happy Birthday’." (Stephen Wright)

- “Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.” (Dave Barry)

- “Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” (Jerry Seinfeld)

- "You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out." (Jerry Seinfeld)

- "A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
Erma Bombeck

For those who are trivial-y-minded, here is some trivial birthday facts in case you want to impress somebody with - well - birthday facts:

- More people celebrate their birthdays in August than in any other month (about 9% of all people). The two other months that rate high for birthdays are July and September.


- Close to 2 billion Birthday Cards are sent each year in the U.S. alone, accounting for nearly 58 percent of all cards sent.


- The world's largest birthday cake was created in 1989 for the 100th Birthday of the city of Fort Payne, Alabama. The cake weighed 128,238 pounds, 8 oz. and used 16,209 pounds of icing.


- The most famous rendition of "Happy Birthday" is when Marilyn Monroe sang to "Happy Birthday, Mr President" to President John F. Kennedy at Madison Square Garden on 19 May 1962.


- Paul McCartney's Birth Certificate was auctioned in March 1997, for US $84,146. It is believed to be the world's most expensive Birth Certificate.


- The Sultan of Brunei hosted the world's most expensive Birthday Party to celebrate his 50th Birthday on 13 July, 1996. The cost was a whopping US $27.2 million. Three concerts featuring Michael Jackson costs US $16 million of the total amounts.


- Anne Frank's world famous diary was given to her as a present for her 13th birthday.


- William Shakespeare's died on his 52nd birthday: 23 April 1616.


- A recent survey suggests that more people are born on October 5 in the United States than any other day. October 5 holds a not-so-surprising significance, as conception would have fallen on New Year's Eve.


- The least common birth date in the U.S. is May 22nd.

Thanks to modern technology and advances, there are new ways in which one is reminded of one's birthday. Like many people I'm a "Facebook-er" and this has given new meaning to the word "friends." Cyber friends want to mark the the day that they/we were born and to this end send birthday greetings. Really - I'm appreciative when people take the time to note my birthday especially since most don't realize that I've short-changed myself by a year. I've been dining in restaurants where people suddenly break out into a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday To You and I cringe. Not for me.

So now the question is which birthday should I celebrate and how many candles should be placed on the cake. My philosophy is keep them guessing.

Now you know: Madonna loathes hydrangeas

Really, I like Madonna. She's a great entertainer who gives her all whenever she performs. Having written that I was sort-of upset with her anti-floral comment made recently, following a bouquet of hydrangeas given to her by a fan. One would assume that a celebrity of Madonna's stature would be gracious and smile, thank the fan and then do whatever she wants with the flowers away from public view.

Right? Wrong!

Instead, upon receiving the flowers from the fan at the beginning of a press conference before her show and unaware that the microphone was on, the material girl commented:  "I absolutely loathe hydrangeas."

Okay Madonna - tell us what you really think!

She apparantly used the word "loathe." Not "I'm not too nuts about" or "they're not my favorite flower" or even go out on a limb and make a positive comment like, "what a nice gesture!" which would have been the  thing to do or say. She actually loathes them!  I mean, she could have just as easily said something to the effect, "Hydrangeas - I'm allergic," in the way of an excuse and then handed them over to one of her assistants or something, thereby eliminating hurt feelings. Am I right?

For the record she also added another little zinger aimed at the fan:  "He (the fan/hydrangea giver) obviously doesn’t know that."

Well Madonna and with all due respect, we humble human beings aren't made aware of all s*t*a*r*s* likes and dislikes that relate to flowers. True hydrangeas have large flower heads but therein lays their beauty - at least in the eyes of some of we flower lovers. She could have smiled, thanked the person who gave them to her and ordered somebody from her entourage to give them to a hospital to brighten a patient's room, don't you think? Can you imagine how delighted that patient would be if a bouquet of flowers arrived in their hospital room with a note attached signed, "Your friend, Madonna"?

Later, according to an article, Madonna's press rep told CNN that she is “entitled to like any flower she wants and she didn’t want to hurt the feelings of the hydrangeas of the world ... No disrespect to the hydrangeas lovers of the world but she prefers different types of flowers."

Once again this leaves one (me) to wonder what type of flowers are acceptable in her eyes? Anybody know? Anybody care?

These days a celebrity has to be careful of what she/he says with YouTube ready to capture the moment.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-45U8RYhOH0

Now you know. No hydrangeas for Madonna.

Power to the shoppers and their shopping habits

Recently, I wrote a short play-ette in my A. Playwright's Rambling blog, focusing on the encounter of two women shopping for lipstick. Although it was exaggerated for drama and content, it was based on a real-life encounter as are many of my "Scenes from Real Life" Life experiences lend themselves as fodder for drama.

For whatever reason, shopping carts or maybe it extends to anything with wheels, seem to bring out the inner beast in some people. Perhaps it's a skewed feeling of power in that they control a vehicle be it a means to hold food items, which could in theory give them muscle over other shoppers. This is particularly noticeable when lining up at the cash to pay. During a big sale at a supermarket, I watched two females (but it just as easily could have been males) actually sling verbal accusations at each other focusing on who was went before while waiting to pay. I mean, really.

Related to this is the quest for parking place and the need to be close to a mall entrance. Shoppers for whatever reason - laziness springs to mind - will drive around and around in tight groups, one car behind the other, ready to spring into action lest a car be spotted pulling out of a space near the door. As a shopper I've been followed by a lineup of ve-hi-cles while walking to retrieve my car. Usually, it's located two rows over from where I'm searching and upon arrival at my destination, the cars are already waiting for my departure. What's the difference if you have to walk a few feet more is my philosophy.

Thinking further perhaps it goes back to our basic survival instinct in that we feel the necessity to exend our superiority and strength in social situations. A shopping cart gives the customer control be it in a limited fashion, over her/his immediate environment. Then again, a parking spot is a parking spot is...unless of course it's 20 below zero in a snow storm. Then it's every man or woman for themselves.

What's that in the sky? Is it a bird...a bee...or space debris?

There are things on this planet that worry me. Not the kind of worry that keeps me up nights but concern me nonetheless. My latest worry is space debris and whether it will stay up in the sky.

I'm not the only one since U.S. scientists have warned NASA that the orbiting space junk situation is getting serious. I mean - really serious. A report issued by the National Research Council indicates that debris could cause fatal leaks or destroy valuable sattelites. Furthermore, the Council is calling for international regulations to limit junk and conduct more research into the possibility of launching large magenetic nets or giant umbrellas. Good idea although perhaps a bit late.

So let's look at these...unique ideas and their viability, at least from my vantage point.

What type of magnetic nets are we talking about and how would they be launched? How would the magnets be propelled around planet earth to scoop up the debris? If magnets and presumably magnetic force is involved, the debris at least in theory, would stick to the magnet(s). So if this works, we could inevitably have an enormous collection/blob of space debris sticking to each other while orbiting the universe. What happens, say, if it gets too heavy and falls earth-ward? Where would it land and more importantly, on whom would it land?

The other alternative, the umbrella has me puzzled. An umbrella as we know it flips open and is a protection against rain or snow or whatever. This would have to be one huge umbrella to be used against floating debris and what of the debris that is already floating around? Or...perhaps - just speculation on my part - a strong magnet first attracts the space debris after which a gigantic/monster of an umbrella opens up to protect the earth from descending junk. That's what it comes down to in the end: space junk.

Thinking further, perhaps we ordinary folk should offer the experts some suggestions. We can't due any worse
- a big - really big - remote battery-controlled vacuum cleaner
- pass on the assignment to Santa, who could make a diversionary pickup on his way delivering toys on Christmas Eve

I dunno but I'm sure people reading this could provide some ideas how to retrieve space junk. Pass them along and share them, people!

Meanwhile, these are some of the solutions that experts have come up with. http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/space/story/2011-08-31/Solutions-sought-for-growing-space-junk-problem/50207662/1

In as far as cleanp-up efforts are concerned, in 2007, China conducted an anti-satellite weapon test which destroyed a decommissioned weather satellite, smashing the object into 150,000 pieces larger than 1cm. Two years later, two satellites - one defunct and one active - crashed in orbit, creating even more debris. I dunno...

There are presently 2,000 pieces of debris large enough to track from the ground, but smaller objects could still cause serious damage. Kind of makes one want to carry an umbrella and look skywards, no?

There have been some near-misses with space debris narrowly missing the space station forcing its six crew to go to their escape capsules and prepare for an emergency evacuation back to Earth.

Even more scary is that the report makes no recommendations about how to clean up the field of debris, however but an earlier study refers to the Pentagon's science think-tank, the Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency (Darpa).

The Darpa report, dubbed "Catcher's Mitt", suggested a range of technologies, including harpoons, nets and an umbrella-shaped device that would sweep up the debris. Harpoons? One miss and... The ultimate aim is to push the debris further towards the earth where it would burn up, or into a higher but safer orbit. Does this worry you as much as it worries me?

Some of life's questions to which there are no answers or explanations

There are issues we all face - okay that I face - which are most perplexing and to which there are no logical explanations, at least in my eyes. You know the type of inane thoughts that keep one up at night because they're so inane?

SO LONG SOAP OPERAS

As is the case with many TV viewers, I admit to watching soap operas or as many (okay - me) call them, "day time drama-dies." Most likely my attraction came about as a result of genetics in that my mother watched them when I was a child and I in turn absorbed the content (such as it was and is) over time and have carried on the tradition. My day time drama-dies of choice are "General Hospital", my favorite, and "All My Children." My mother liked "As the World Turns" which was cancelled a while back. Perhaps that act in itself was an omen or writing on the wall as they say. For their part, the networks are claiming that the rating numbers aren't there anymore. While I don't doubt this claim, perhaps had they offered viewers a plausible story line at least for "All My Children", which has turned into a sad joke with characters returning from the dead via a doctor who has somehow acquired God-like qualities. The shows in themselves can only be viewed as an escape from reality since everyone living in soap opera-ville are rich but don't work, become surgeons in six months to a year and never deal with real life situations like employment loss. Such is the appeal. Escape from reality.

Viwers who have stayed with the show over the years deserve better, writers and powers-that-be!

Word has it that General Hospital is also on the chopping block down the line and will be replaced by the new programs, "The Chew" a food whatever and still another food preparation show, "The Revolution". Just what viewers need. I find it difficult to believe that day time TV viewers are interested in basically cooking lessons. That's what it comes down to in the end and what's with this sudden fixation on cooking? Not to dismiss the male cooks and chefs, are we returning to the olden days where the  woman's place was in the kitchen cooking meals? Count me out as a future viewer of both of these shows. In as far as General Hospital is concerned, the word is that Katie Couric is slated to move in with a talk show. Again, just what we need - still another blah-blah-blah program.

Pass...and pass again.

MY INVITES ARE NOT AND NEVER WILL BE IN THE MAIL

In addition to not receiving an invitation to "the" royal wedding with my invitation somehow mis-directed by the mail delivery service and now stuck with a hat, there was also no invite to the Kardashian nuptials. It would have involved the purchase of a new dress and an airline ticket so I view it as saved money. Being in the "older" age category, how did this Kardashian family become a fixation virtually everywhere you look? What makes them special? Anybody want to share?

WOOKIE - WHY?

As a blog writer, I'm still amazed that the "lost cat" story that still has paws from last December, and is still being read by people dropping by here? No new information has been offered or forthcoming at least yet, as to the fate of Wookie the cat, who lives or once lived in England. Whereabouts or even whether the feline is still in the land of the living is a mystery, as are the cyber surfers who are intent on keeping the spirit of Wookie alive. As mentioned in previous Wookie-related comments, any Wookie updates as to his fate is appreciated and shared.

ETC. ETC. There are other issues of personal concern like Twitter un-followers who have me perplexed, supermarket sprays gone amock, rude shoppers who use their shopping carts to block access to bargain food items and as weapons of pain, dented cans that are only discovered dented upon arriving home, packaged cheese that goes blue/green/rancid within a week or two of purchase, lipstick shades that look  copper/orange-y in pharmacy light but end up pink at home (what is this obsession with pink lip color anyway!) - it just never ends! In the last three months, I've amassed 5 "reject" lipsticks that looked rust/beige-y but ended up pink.

As my mother used to say: "what cannot be cured - must be endured." Amen mom!

Time to vote people! National Lampoon sponsoring 1st Nat. Lampoon Twitter Awards!

Seems that for whatever reason, as they themselves say: "just because" , National Lampoon is holding its first Annual National Lampoon Twitter Awards. Kind'a weird that National Lampoon is sponsoring Twitter Awards and not Twitter itself but then - why not. I mean, there are enough twits who tweet (yes - including moi before you ask).


According to the write-up on the NL site, the people or at least presumably a lot of the people at National Lampoon have in their words, "fallen in love with the Twitter Machine." They explain their attachment to the site due to "the amazingly funny and talented people on it."

The voting system will be broken down into categories, many of which - how shall one put it - are "different." Two rounds of voting will be held and in the first round currently open, they've offered some of their own suggestions on where to place your "X" or "Y"...or whatever. There is also a "other"square for write-in names at the end of each category. Round two begins on Tuesday, September 6, where the highest vote getters will be narrowed down.

"Our goal here is to honor the men and women of Twitter who fight every day to keep our country honest, stupid, and funny… because in any society, comedians are the truth-tellers, and we need truth-tellers now more than ever," National Lampoon opines.

In any case and for the record, I'm toying with adding a write-in for Bronz Zoo Cobra since there is no category listed for talented animals or escaped zoo denizens. After all - his (the snake) escape did make hisssssstory.

A list of the various categories and for people wanting to exercise their vote, let your fingers do the walking to http://nationallampoon.com/twitterawards

I'll be back to announce the preliminary winners. So who'd you vote for?



Something corny is at hand

Fresh corn on the cob has arrived in local supermarkets. This in itself is an anticipated event since we all - at least many of us anyway - enjoy when teeth-meets-corn kernels. Nothing like a hot boiled, crunchy corn on the cob accompanied by your grease-of-choice dripping down the sides.

The eating side of corn is great but what's not agreeable is the way supposedly civilized people act in front of the corn display. Surpermarkets usually provide an empty bin in which to toss discarded ears of corn (that sounds so barbaric!) but for whatever reason - laziness springs to mind - corn lovers prefer to drop corn leaves and rejected cobs directly on to the floor. This in itself is bad enough but the act of selecting corn turns otherwise "normal" surpermarket shoppers into discourteous oafs. In order to get at what they believe to be the primo corn, hips become shoving weapons as do flaying arms that seek out cobs located at the very bottom of the corn display. It's also somewhat disturbing, at least to me, how people seek only the perfect, blemish-less cobs with no signs of insects or color imperfection, while a large portion of the world goes starving.

I like the multi-colored corn and take it with a dish of salt and some low-fat margarine, although purists would suggest that only butter would do. Although there are special corn-eating tools available, we eat ours with our hands and the help of napkins - lots of napkins that disintegrate almost immediately. Still, we have to watch our manners...

Also on sale this week are the giant cherries with no empty containers provided for discarded cherry pits. Watched a cherry shopper/taster this week take a hand full of cherries in his hand and slowly but methodically go through them while walking around the produce dept., spitting out the pits on to the floor as he walked. Nothing like slipping on pits and corn leaves to make an unforgettable shopping experience.

To complete my shopping experience, the produce spray has gone amok. Where only fresh vegetables are normally sprayed (and sprayed and...), it now provides a face wash for unsuspecting shoppers and of course, no means in which to dry off. Nothing like shopping with a wet face and makeup dripping off.  Gotta love the experience!

OTOH and just in case one needs a one-on-one instruction, here's crunch-by-crunch instructions on how to best eat corn: http://www.wikihow.com/Eat-Corn-on-the-Cob

Personal poll out of curiousity:

- how do you prepare your corn?
a) barbeque b) boiled c)microwaved

- how do you eat your corn?
a) as is - no butter et al
b) lots of butter
c) margarine and/or other grease?

- how many corns can you eat?
1...2...more?

Bert and Ernie - a lasting friendship

As a long-time admirer of Burt and Ernie, it never occurred to me that there could be something more, something deeper than a mere surface friendship. Over the years and along with my children who now have children of their own, I watched the muppet-puppets live out their lives on Sesame Street along with millions of childen who watched Burt take a bath along with his ever-present, rubber ducky. Seems that according to the view of some people, there was and still is, something more than mere friendship involved.

Perhaps it's because I never considered the pair more than mere puppets on a children's television show. True they have lived together for a long period of time but again keeping things in perspective, they are one of the learning tools used to educate a viewing audience. However, there are some who believe that their relationship longevity is an indication that the duo share more than mere friendship. To this end a petition has been distributed to have the two puppets - accent on the puppets - get married. So far more than 900 people have signed to support the idea. In response and for its part, Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit group behind Sesame Street, responded to the request saying Bert and Ernie are "identified as male characters," but "remain puppets and do not have a sexual orientation."

Really, in the end, why the necessity to examine or seek a deeper meaning into what is essentially, characters in a children's TV show? Why can't they be just two puppet friends who are sharing living quarters? It happens in real life so it seems perfectly logical that art imitates life especially when the whole concept of Sesame Street is a group of friends living on a street. Let individual viewers interpret Burt and Ernie's friendship as they see it and parents/guardians answer questions regarding the puppet's living arrangements when called upon. If it ain't broke - don't fix it.

Duchess gives away fortune all for love

Came accross an interesting piece about an 85 year old Duchess in Spain, who is marrying a man 24 years younger. This in itself isn't news but what makes this story interesting is that the Duchess Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James is a multi-millionaire, and to underline that their relationship is based on real love, she is giving away all her worldly possessions including big buckeroonies.

The Duchess, who is one of the wealthiest women in Spain, is estimated to be worth between $850 million and $5 billion, give or take a million or two, and one could see how the wealth could add to her attractiveness ("Oh Eleanor - you're such a cynic!"). Hence the decision to give away all her worldly possessions to prove to the world that love will pay the bills...or at least that her relationship with one Alfonso Diez, a civil servant is based on something else other than money and all that it can buy.In addition, her six offspring aren't crazy about the forthcoming nuptials and this was the basis for her decision. Really, in the end, the kids/grandchildren will be the real beneficiaries, being the recipients of her fortune.

"Alfonso doesn't want anything. All he wants is me," she had commented regarding their relationship earlier in the year.

Don't want to sound cynical but one wonders if this was before or after Alfonso was made aware that they would be living on love, alone. Thinking further about their relationship, why bother marrying at all? Why not just live together as many people do these days?

A further thought (too much time on my hands, obviously) in as far as the wedding is concerned. Having not been invited to "the wedding" (Will and Kate)...that is to say, my invitation having been lost in the mail, perhaps - just perhaps - an invitation will be/could be/might be forthcoming to this one? I mean - what would one wear if one was invited to a wedding of a multi-millionaire-ess Spanish Duchess who will have a modest affair having given away her fortune? I shall be checking my mail box in the event that an invitation could be wedged inside.

According to a report in a Spanish newspaper, her eldest son, Carlos, inherits the Liria Palace in Madrid and the Monterrey Palance in Salamanca, as well as the family fortune. Her only daughter, Eugenia, inherits an estate in Ibiza and a further 600 acres near Seville.

The duchess has been friends with Diez for several years. There were rumors of a wedding in 2008 but her children nixed the idea of marriage. Will be looking for wedding updates to see if the nuptials will actually take place. Wonder if Debrett's has a section on attending Spanish weddings of Spanish royalty that were wealthy give away their fortune for love...

UPDATE: October 5: the nuptials have indeed taken place. The Duchess wore a salmon, shin-length dress by Spanish designers Victorio y Lucchino. The bride expressed her happiness in an impromptu dance to the delight of onlookers.

Photos: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2045627/Duchess-Alba-marries-toyboy-Alfonso-Diez-lavish-wedding-ceremony.html

Dear Twitter followers and former followers - I'm puzzled

Dear Twitter followers, especially those who no longer follow me,

I'm puzzled. You obviously found my profile interesting enough initially to follow my witty updates. However, over time and for what ever reason, you dropped me. This leads me to wonder if there is anything I wrote or didn't write, which compelled you to make this decision.

For those reading this who are not familiar with my blogs - I have seven of them - they cover a wide variety of subjects including commentary about the times we live in (Gimme a Break), condo living, playwriting, gardening (used to be a passionate gardener before going condo), painting (my current obsession du jour), and the others. I mean - hey - there are certainly enough updates to pique your interest in one of my blogs, so what's the deal?

Okay. I have to admit that there have been occasions as I'm sure is the case with other Twitter-ers, in which I didn't return a "follow.". Let's be candid: if I don't or can't relate to a person's background or if it's an overt attempt to promote a service some of which relate to a sexual service, I don't reciprocate a follow. That being written, I'm curious. As an aside - I'm big on these - had four people drop me over the last few days. What can one say? Can't please all the people all the time or even some of the people some of the time. Right?

So...like...was it my photo...something I wrote....

Computer replaces pooch as best friend?

Came accross this piece, which caused the utterance of "say what?!" Unbelievable but apparantly true according to a poll, the computer is replacing the family pooch in the best friend category.

It appears that researchers discovered a mere 6% of those polled believe that most people rely more on their dog than their PC's, while 67% are of the opinion the opposite is true. Thinking further about this poll in general, why would researchers conduct a poll of this nature, anyway? But I digress.

More distressing, 38% of dog owners revealed to depending more on their PC than their dog. Another 36% disagreed. I mean, how can one compare the family pooch to a mere mechanical...thingie? Furthermore, dog owners in the 18-24 age category said they depended more on their computer.

Duh! A dog is a living, breathing companion that responds to external stimuli i.e. petting, interacting, walks, etc. whereas a computer is...there. True a pet can't compute sophisticated mathematical equations but your furry family pooch can offer emotional feedback and solace if the occasion calls for it. Your computer is just...there. Isn't that right dog owners and people who know and love dogs, reading this? You could one assumes, take your computer for a walk but would it care?

The poll by the way, was conducted by Computeractive magazine with the RSPCA. Two-thousand British adults were polled for feedback regarding the change that modern technology has brought to their home lives. Gotta wonder bout this stat that male dog owners are almost twice as likely as female owners to rely on their computer than a canine companion. What does this indicate in the scheme of things?

The company, Computeractive is working with the RSPCA to fight for justice against animal cruelty by raising funds for five prosecution cases of animal cruelty.

So whad'ya think? Is your computer replacing your family dog...or cat...or whatever?

Snore-free hotel rooms offered by hotel chain - really!

Snorers beware! There might be a middle-of-the-night visit by the snore patrol depending on your snoring level output.

Don't know how well this is going to go over with hotel guests but the Crowne Plaza international hotel chain is using a "snore patrol" and "snore absorption rooms" in an attempt, presumably, to cut back on the sound of people snoring. It's not bad enough that hotel guests have to worry about bed begs these days and now we have to be concerned with the noise level of our snoring...presuming of course that we admit to snoring, which many of us don't, but that as they say, is another story.

It seems that snore patrols - can't believe I'm even writing this - are presently patrolling the corridors of designated quiet areas of Crowne Plaza hotels in the cities of London, Leeds and Manchester, England. Why do these type of stories seem to take place in England. But I digress. Their task should they accept it - and they do it appears - is to listen(!) for offensive noises and knock on the door of guests who snore too loudly. Again, can't believe I'm writing this.

Thinking further about their task, there are other noises that are made from other activities other than snoring if you get my drift! Do you see law suits on the way?

According to an employee Snore Monitor, the snore team conducts floor walks to check for excessive noise disruptions, focusing on the main part on quiet zone rooms. Most likely, there are electronic devices on the market that can now detect the sound levels of snorers. Upon checking in, guests have the option of staying in a snore-free room. However, if a snorer checks in a quiet free zone and - well - snores a lot disrupting the quiet, they will be offered another room away from the "quiet zone" for their next stay there.

On the plus side, guests staying in a "snore absoption room" can anticipate the latest in snore control technology to reduce repetitive noise. We're talking here about sound-proofing on the walls, headboards, anti-snoring pillows and white noise machines, whatever they are, features that are designed to ease (but not eliminate obviously) snoring.

I dunno. Knowing that anti-snoring patrols are patrolling the halls is enough to keep a hotel guest awake in itself.

So there's a knock on a hotel room door in the middle of the night:

GUEST: Who's there?

ANTI SNORE PATROL: It's Amy of the anti-snoring patrol

GUEST: Who? You have the wrong room

ANTI SNORE PATROL: We were walking by your room and it appears you are snoring a few decibels above the allowed limit

GUEST: Say what? Whad'ya talking about? Is this some type of a joke?

ANTI-SNORE PATROL: We're very serious about our job. Should you continue to snore to the point where we feel it's disturbing other guests in this snore-free zone, we will have to move you to another room

GUEST: I don't think so! Expect to hear from my lawyer in the morning.

You get the idea... What next? Anti-coughing areas...anti nose-blowing areas. The mind boggles - at least mine does.

Wookie the cat presumably still missing?

Been trying to trace down whether Wookie the cat has been sighted or perhaps, but most likely not, found since he was reported missing in November of last year. People reading this might recall the story of Wookie and his desperate owner, one Mike Harding, who was fined for putting up posters in the hope that somebody would see his kitty and there would be a happy Christmas reunion. Alas, instead, Mike was threatened with a fine instead by the local council, which was eventually dropped most likely due to public outcry and adverse publicity.

Since sharing the story, I'm surprised that people still drop by this blog to read the saga and that the story still has legs. Most likely it has sustained an interest due to an ordinary citizen and obvious cat lover who was attempting to find his beloved cat but instead encountered local politics. People tend to take sides in situations where they feel a person has been unfairly wronged.

Given that there is still interest, I've been attempting to trace down any type of follow-up as to whether Wookie was found. So far, there is no information available from any news source. Anyone knowing Mike or living in the Bedford, |England, area, perhaps could provide some type of finality to the story or even Mike's e-mail address as a follow up to the story and an ending.

Anybody? BTW - Wookie if you're reading this - enquiring minds want and need to know!

Royal visit angst

Seems that Will and Kate, those royal love birds, will be visiting our neck of the woods so to speak, shortly. Once again another opportunity presents itself to be among royalty although still from afar, and give them the royal wave. You know - hand in the air, sort-of semi-circular movement but not all the way around. Queen Elizabeth has got it down pat but then she's had all those years to practice.

Then there's the decision as to whether or not a hat is in order, at all. I mean, what if one were to meet the royal couple one-on-one, then a hat would be in order one assumes. Accompanying this subject is the issue of whether one should wear a casual or formal hat, but for sure definitely not a baseball cap. Another dilemma, at least for me, would be whether or not to wear gloves and if so, should they be wrist or elbow length? Just doesn't seem logical to wear long-ish gloves up to the elbow with - say - pants, jeans or capris. In any case, these decisions call for yet another visit to Debretts for further consultation on royal manners for "what-ifs."

According to Debretts in their Royalty section, there is no accepted code of behaviour for encounters with royalty, "but adhering to the traditional forms of address will prevent anxiety."

Presumably, this includes no gum chewing if one is within viewing sight of the royal couple, and neither would cracking gum be acceptable. Another subject worthy of further thought is the wearing of panty hose. Would Kate notice if one's legs were bare and is it even appropriate to bear one's legs in front of royalty at all? So many questions with so few answers to these dilemmas!

To get back to Debretts, when being introduced to a member of the Royal Family men should bow and women curtsey. This subject was broached in an earlier blog entitled, "Meeting the Queen: what should one do?" if anyone reading this wants to know how to conduct oneself. A handshake is also acceptable. A bow should be made by bending from the neck or shoulders (not the waist) while briefly lowering your eyes. Lowering my eyes? What would happen - say - if one inadvertantly forgot to do this? How much of an faux pas would staring directly ahead be?

I can see the headlines now: "Royal goof - Ms blah-blah was seen not to lower her (or his) eyes while being introduced to Will and Kate." Could this be interpreted as being too brazen? So many things to remember.

Debretts also advises that should one happen upon a 'royal' during their time off, allow them the freedom to go about their business as an ordinary person. 'Assume that to royalty, being left alone is far from a slur; it is a luxury.'

Should one meet up with the royal couple while they take five at Second Cup or Starbucks, for example, one should not ask Kate or William to pass the sugar as a means of striking up a conversation. Neither should one keep any empty sugar packages that they may use, their coffee(or tea) cups for souvenirs.

Perhaps all this worry is in vain anyway, since they will be spending a mere few hours in our area. Thinking it all over, perhaps I'll just stick to practicing my royal wave and hope that they wave back. I mean, it's the least they could do.

What happened to supermarket manners and courtesy?

For whatever reason, shopping at the supermarket has become an excursion in bad manners, IMHO. Case in point: yesterday while waiting to check out grocery items in a line, the woman in front decided that she needed a pack of cigarettes - had to have those cigarettes right there and then. She asked the check out cashier for a pack, after which the cashier directed her to counter where the cigarettes were available. However, the cigarette-craving-female (CCF) expected the cashier to leave her cash and get them for her! After being informed that the CCF would have to go buy them herself, the woman asked the cashier and the line-up of shoppers one of whom was me, to wait until she went to buy a pack.

"I don't think so!" I told Ms CCF.

"But it will only take a minute!" she responded, starting to move out of the line in quest of her cigarettes.

"Why don't you wait and buy your cigarettes after you check out your items?" I told her, quite miffed at that point.

The cashier for her part, realizing that I was somewhat PO'd, jumped in and told the woman that if she chose to go buy her cigarettes, then she would check out my items first. Internally, I smiled. After a five second pause while the CCF considered her options, she left her items in pursuit of her pack of cigarettes. Meanwhile, the cashier checked out my items first until Ms CCF returned to her place in front of me, presumably happier for having a pack of cigarettes in her purse.

Then there's the people who feel they are entitled to taste cherries - note the plural form used here - as they bag them. There are no signs visible anywhere offering free cherries and/or taste-testing, people! One pays before tasting! A few are dropped in the plastic bags and the remainder of the cherries are stuffed into mouths, as cherry juice drips down the side of their faces. These are the same people who also spit their cherry pits to the ground or back on the cherry display. Nothing more disgusting than coming accross or finding a saliva ridden cherry pit during hand picking. Blech!

Also falling into this category are shoppers who strip the leaves off fresh corns and throw them on to the ground. Also worthy of mention are veggie choosers who press tomatoes and other fragile veggies like peaches, nectarines et al, to the point of leaving indented finger marks. Don't we all just love to eat fruit with somebody else's fingers on the surface? Again - blech!

Or how about people who remove the enclosure tabs inside orange juice containers for whatever reason and then replace back into the refrigerator display.

Not to be overlooked are shoppers who take the shopping carts to their cars without replacing them in the allotted area, allowing the shopping cart wheels to roll on to fenders.

In any case and to return to Ms Cigarette Craving Woman, last time I spotted her as I was pulling out of the parking lot, she was puffing away while emptying the shopping cart. Talk about money going up in smoke. Really.

Meeting the Queen - how does one conduct oneself?

Fresh from consulting Debretts on how to act if ever invited to a royal event or wedding, which as it happens I didn't have to worry about, anyway, since my invitation appears to have been lost in the mail, seems that we regular people have to be aware of social faux-pas or no-no's when meeting the Queen of England. Realistically speaking, few of us will have the opportunity to even be in the company of royalty, other than taking photos outside Buckingham Palace along with other visitors, but it's still good to know these things.

No less than President Obama, leader of the U.S. of A, breached royal protocol recently, when he inadvertantly made a toast to the Queen and then continued with a short speech. According to royal protocol, he should have stopped. The band, taking a cue from the Queen, started playing the national anthem, while Pres. Obama continued talking. Somehow, envisioning the scene, reminds me of a Monty Python sketch, but I digress. As I recall, the Obamas didn't receive an invitation to the recent royal nuptials, either.

So right now like me, you're probably wondering just what in the heck is royal protocol, anyway? Does it cover things like how to bow or curtsy (this has always been a stumper for me - I like to be prepared for these things), and etiquette that would cover issues like is it proper to spit or dip one's dinner napkin in one's water glass to wipe away sticky food from one's face. Stuff like that.

This mysterious - at least to me - issue of royal protocol goes back to a time when monarchs were accorded an almost divine status.

According to Dr. Kate Williams, historian at London's Holloway University, "From medieval times, monarchs were divinely appointed to rule by God, so they were kind of seen as gods, so they demanded to be treated as gods," says Dr Kate Williams, a historian at London's Royal Holloway university. "They are treated as people set apart from the rest of us, so primarily what it is creating is distance and grandeur."

This means one does not make any moves until a royal person moves first. For example, you wouldn't greet the Queen and her ilk like a long, lost relative by kissing her on both cheeks. Or speaking first by telling her that you love (or hate as the case may be) her hats. No hugs are allowed, either. Or using a cell phone to pick up messages and definitely no tweeting would be allowed. Bowing, according to Dr. Williams, is allowed and in fact, encouraged.

Presumably, there have to be rules in regard to bowing and/or curtsying. According to Debretts, my new "bible" for any royal "how-to" issues, have got this issue covered under the "Recommended Etiquette Upon being introduced to The Queen, and on leaving, a bow or curtsy is made" section. Take notes people!

- The bow is an inclination of the head, not from the waist.
- The curtsy should be a discreet but dignified bob.
- In conversation, address The Queen as 'Your Majesty', and subsequently 'Ma'am' (to rhyme with Pam).
- When conversing with The Queen, substitute 'Your Majesty' for 'you'.
- When introducing another person to The Queen, simply state the name of the person to be introduced:'May I present Mr John Smith, Your Majesty?'

However, not mentioned is how one measures a "dignified bob." Should the chin touch the chest area? Are winks allowable?

Royal protocol can be viewed as an expression of respect for the Queen.

This leads one (me) to wonder what the royal etiquette would be, say, if the Queen would visit the U.S. and attend say, a hockey game for example. Just thinking... Perhaps Debretts has this issue covered as well. Also found a section on Debretts covering seating arrangements, for future commentary. Meanwhile, I'll go practice my curtsies - just in case. You never know.

Kate and William wed - some last thoughts - and words

In the end, I watched Kate and William's wedding. Didn't even need a clock radio to wake me. Went to sleep pondering whether or not to get up but obviously my internal body clock sent a message to my brain to get conscious at 3 a.m. Once up and with the TV playing softly, I conducted a perfunctory scan of the various networks to see which one suited my personality. Sort-of disappointed in CNN although Piers Morgan, a Brit, was witty. Then continued pressing the channel selector buttons and finally ended up with ABC. Since everyone was using the same feed, it was the commentary accompanying the visuals that was the deciding factor. The ultimate celebrity interviewer, Barbara Walters, was professional and relaxed providing background commentary along with the ABC team including co-host, Diane Sawyer, and Robin Roberts reporting direct from London. Very obvious why Barbara gets to interview all the VIP's world-wide: she's good. More than very good - at least in my humble opinion.

All the networks had reporters interviewing your ordinary folk lining the streets waiting and hoping for a glance at the newly weds. There were people who flew in from all over the planet from as far away as South America to Milwaukee, Wisconsin, who excitedly explained that they were there to be part of history. All those people, many of whom slept for days in tents to get a good place, led me to wonder the bathroom situation. I mean, where did they - to put it in blunt terms - pee? I didn't see any porta-toilets, at least in camera range, but perhaps there were some hidden away behind trees or bushes or something. Still, that's a lot of people who had to relieve themselves, somewhere. Speaking of hygenic concerns and given the number of parade horses trotting along the streets, are royal horses toilet-trained, perchance, to avoid an embarrassing situation? But I digress.

The bride was resplendent in a stunning gown that suited her to a "T". As expected, female guest's hats were a cross section of personal statements including lots of feathers, flowers and shaky thingies. Some were actually visually nice while others were...interesting. Let's leave it at that Hopefully, the feathers were artificial.

One wonders what type of gifts they received. I mean, what does one give a couple with royal connections? A hand mixer? Coffee maker or a toaster? A gift certificate from Macy's or the British equivalent? Gift certificates are always a good option since recipients can buy what they need.

At one point I fell asleep but I'm not concerned since there will be wedding highlights on TV for the next couple of weeks. Probably longer. Tonight Queen Elizabeth is vacating the palace for the night, to the royal couple. That's a nice gesture. Then again, Prince Charles has set up a disco in the palace. Even a queen needs her sleep.

To watch or not to watch the royal wedding. Decisions...decisions

Can't even believe that I'm writing this but I've been thinking further about the royal wedding. Perhaps I've been caught up in all the frenzy stirred up by the media and don't want to appear out of the loop, if, or more likely when, the topic is discussed. In particular, the issue focuses on whether or not to get up at 4 a.m. in the morning to watch the TV coverage. Logically, I could record the program to watch later at a decent hour but somehow live broadcasts are more exciting.

What is obvious is that all the TV networks have sent a team of reporters or high profile personalities to cover the event. I'm wondering how close they will actually get or will they be joining the throngs of people hoping to capture the event for posterity. Most likely and being that they have special privileges, they will acquire a special area specifically designated for media. Your ordinary Brits and visitors who flew in for the occasion are sleeping in tents to ensure that they have a secure place to watch the parade pass by.

On Thursday, Barbara Walters, who seems to have reached the "I'm a special person and get to meet all the important people!" status will be examining the home and life of Queen Elizabeth. What's there to look at? She's royal, likes hats, does an amazing hand wave and lives in palatial splendor. That should take five minutes but guaranteed it will be stretched out for an hour or more.

So in the event that I'll watch, I'm thinking whether or not to dress up for the event given the early hour. I mean, I could watch in night wear but it seems so uncivilized, not that anyone would know. Perhaps I'll settle for a pair of comfortable jeans, my favorite piece of wardrobe, a nice top and maybe - haven't decided yet - a hat. Seems that hats are "in" these days but I've always found that they leave a helmet head shape upon removal.

Also, what should I eat? There are some frozen crumpets in the freezer along with my favorite berry jam and a cup of boiling hot (not tepid) tea served from a teapot, a slice of lemon, optional, would be appropriate. Actually, some finger sandwiches would add that certain je ne sais quoi feel to the event. So many choices...

So this is my dilemma. My apologies to William Shakespeare: to wake or not to wake. That is the question. Mr. Shakespeare would understand.

How to make a decent cup of tea in case Kate and William come to call

This is the week when all eyes, especially the media, are on England in anticipation of the royal nuptials. We are inundated with news about who is invited and who will be attending (not me), what they will wear and the wedding menu. Most likely the celebrants will be drinking tea, although coffee could be an option.

Being a born-Brit and raised on tea at an early age, over the years I have bemoaned the lack of a decent cup of tea served in some restaurants. The secret to a good if not at least decent cup of tea is to start with really briskly boiled water. Although this might seem simplistic, in my experience many restaurants can't seem to go beyond luke-warm at best. Coffee does not have to be boiling hot but in order to make a good cuppa as the Brits say, hot water is a must. None-boiled, tepid water is easy to detect by the thin white-ish foam floating on the surface. In fact, a quick glance at the water surface would be advisable before inserting a tea bag into the small tea pots. Frequently at restaurants, a signal to the waiter to replace tepid water for boiling water results in a bewildered look that says, 'lady -hot water is hot water is...' In my opinion and in my experience, tea will not properly steep if water is luke warm. Really. Tea should never be served in a styrofoam cup because it dilutes the flavor and most importantly, it's just not...done. But I digress.

My grandfather who came from Russia, used to drink his boiling-hot tea in a thick glass with a dollup of jam swirling around the bottom. One of my grandmothers also from the old country, used to hold a sugar square between her teeth followed by gulps of tea. Tricky but effective to obtain the full flavor of the tea.

Everyone is getting in on the Kate/William wedding celebrations including tea companies and Twinnings tea, which happens to rate high on my favorite list, has even created a special blend in honor of the occasion. According to the blurb on their site:

"To celebrate the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton the master blenders here at Twinings have developed a wonderful light tea, which is a White Earl Grey Tea with light flavours of Rose Petal.

Best served without milk (although, that's our choice, you are welcome to add a drop of milk according to your taste), this bright, sparkling amber coloured tea is perfect for your Royal Wedding Tea Party."

In other words - a very perfume-y flavor, perhaps not robust but refreshing none-the-less. Good tea as I view it, is like a good wine. Smell-taste-swish and swallow.

This leads one to wonder how many people are having Royal Wedding tea parties. More to the point, at what time would one hold a celebratory tea party, given the time varients around the world, since tea is usually takes place in mid-afternoon. For many people, the wedding ceremony will take place in the middle of the night but any time is a good time to drink tea.

The only thing remaining is the menu for the tea party and whether or not guests would consider attending at 3 a.m. in the morning. Be that as it may, the menu could include finger sandwiches with the crusts cut off of course because - well - don't quite know why but presumably they look better, scones with jam and cream, tarts (I'm partial to lemon tarts), petit fours and of course, a pot of boiling hot tea brewed in a tea pot.

So cut the crusts of the sandwiches, bake some cakes, pull out the best china and invite your nearest and dearest for afternoon or middle-of-the-night tea. Kate and William would be pleased.

For those who really enjoy tea and would like to try their hand at growing their own at home:
http://the-tea-site.com/growing_tea_at_home.php