Mediums acquire grant to talk to the dead

I'm definitely in the wrong business. Yet once again a government has given a grant of questionable merit - at least IMHO.

Two people who should have psychic powers, recently received a grant to teach people how to communicate with the dead. Here I thought that this could be achieved by drinking too much coffee according to another report but I digress...

The psychics, Paul and Deborah Rees received £4,500 from the Welsh government's Want2Work job creation program. The recipients will be using the money to help people contact friends and relatives "on the other side." To be expected critics and presumably ordinary people are shocked and the Department of work and Pensions bureaucrats and Welsh Assembly has launched an investigation.

For their part the mediums claim the "mere £4,500" of public money will be put to good use at their centre the Accolade Academy of Psychic and Mediumistic Studies. Accolade? Weird choice of words and according to an Internet dictionary source, the meaning is "any award, honor, or laudatory notice." Given the negative reaction generally, perhaps they should drop the "accolade" in the name of their academy.

"Our job is to provide substantial evidence to bring ease to people's grieving - and that's what I would say to people who query the award" commented Paul Rees, a former upholsterer.

"It is an utter disgrace that taxpayers' money is being wasted and given to an organisation that believes it can teach people how to communicate with the dead" said Tory Welsh Assembly member, Jonathan Morgan.

There is no information as to if the psychic couple will be charging for their services and neither is there anything available regarding their curriculum. Perhaps Ohmmmmmm101 and related courses.

They're (could be) heeeere - according to British UFO files

Remember those crop circles that were in the news a while back, allegedly created by - insert Twilight Zone music - aliens? A British woman walking her dog in a field claims to have actually met up with a blond, Scandinavian-looking alien with a Scandinavian-like accent, who admitted to her that crop circles were created by some of his extra-terrestrial pals.

This was one of many stories part of the third UFO file documents to be released by the British Ministry of Defence covering the years from 1987 - 1993.

Back to the woman-and-her-dog encounter... Even though he - the alien - was told not to have an earthly contact, he felt that it was important to speak to one of our kind. Understandably, she ran home but upon hearing a loud buzzing noise, she turned to see a large, spherical object, glowing orange-white, rise steadily moving out of sight.

Then there are reports with a logical explanation like the report filed in 1992 of a
a bright cigar-shaped object seen flying silently over central London at night. It was later identified "almost certainly" as an illuminated airship advertising the Ford Mondeo car.

There is no information as to whether or not the woman and her pet had visited the local pub for a few pints prior to the encounter, which could be an explanation for the blond Scandinavian connection. I mean, why would the alien choose a Scandinavian accent given that he/she was in England? Maybe the alien miscalculated the coordinates of the landing and ended up in England instead of Scandinavia. Perhaps - just perhaps - there was another landing in Scandinavia with the alien having a British accent! It's a good an explanation as any. One can only speculate.

"The vast majority of reports are ordinary things seen in extraordinary situations," says UFO expert, Dr. David Clarke.

The files, which can be downloaded from the National Archives website, are being released as part of a three-year project.

There's a hand-drawn picture for those interested in a "crescent-shaped moon object, shaped like a banana. Maybe blue in colour. Arm and leg shapes hanging from lower end" taken from a 1989 report here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7954001.stm

Too bad Muldaur and Scully aren't around to solve the mystery.

God responds to phone messages left on His voice mail

Whereupon, artist, Johan Van der Dong, has provided a hotline, whereby people can connect to/with God via phone, and G-d returns His voice mail.


Hello, Hans? This is G-d returning your phone call."

"Who?"

"G-d? The Big Guy? The All Powerful and Mighty?"

"Ohhhhhhh...yeah. Sorry. I didn't recognize your voice for a minute. You're such a jerk! I mean - c'mon!"

"Pardon? Perhaps you're thinking of someone else? My personna has always been a source of speculation and strife - the two big "S's" - among religions."

"Stop fooling around, Phil. I know it's you!"

"Listen - I have a lot of return phone calls to make. Gazillions, even...all over the planet, earth. Then I have to look in on the wars and the dying people... So what can I do for you?"

"Yeah -surrrrre. Okay. Let's see... Today is Wednesday and you're working at Mario's, right? I'll take one all-dressed pizza and one vegetarian. This time make sure it's hot or no tip for you!"

"Seriously, I'm not Philip. I'm really...G-d!"

"You always did have a big ego, Phil! Now you're calling yourself G-d? You're pushing your luck, Phil!"

"Why do I bother? So many calls to make and so little time and somebody wants a pizza delivery."

"So...like...don't you want my new address? I moved last week!"

"Trust me - I know. Now if there's nothing else..."

"Now that you mention it, there is one more thing. Can you send along an order of onion rings?"

"Hello God? Guess who?"

Given the busy schedules of people these days, finding time to connect to a "Higher Power" isn't always possible. However a dutch artist, Johan Van der Dong, appears to have taken this into account and has provided a hotline, whereby people can connect to/with God via phone.

The purpose of God's Hotline as it has become known is to focus attention on the means in which Dutch people perceive religion. To this end the artist selected a mobile phone number to underline that God was available anywhere and anytime.

Actually, it's part of Van der Dong's art installation in the town of Groningen and anyone calling will receive the message:

"This is the voice of God, I am not able to speak to you at the moment, but please leave a message."

To date 1,000 messages have been recorded and the messages are confidential and not part of the art project.

"I'm not a pastor, I'm an artist and I won't listen to the messages. It's a secret between the Lord and the people who are calling."

Hmmmm... I wonder if and what the "real" Supreme Being feels about this concept. Mind you, you hav'ta give the artist credit for ingenuity and a means to attract attention to himself and his work. More interesting is what type of message God would leave on our answering machines.

"Hello John Smith. This is God responding to your message left on my answering machine, yesterday..."

The phone number for anyone interested in leaving a message is:

The telephone number is 06-4424-4901 for callers in the Netherlands and +316-4424-4901 for those from other countries.

I'm twitter-ing and I'm not a bird!

Can't exactly recall the reason behind my decision but the other day I decided to Twitter. It's especially puzzling since I'm also a Facebook-er or should that be Facebook-ee? Seems that Twitter is the place to be now according to the people in the know i.e. friends, cyber aquaintances, media types.

Comparatively-speaking, there is no distinguishable differences in my eyes other than Twitter is relegated to a one sentence statement: "What Are You Doing?" That's it! Nothing else! On the other hand Facebook asks the same question of members but recognized "friends" can join and allowing for comments. For example:

"Eleanor is feeling blechy today."

Sympathetic accepted "friends" could, if they felt like it, jump in with co-commiserations like, "hope you feel better soon!" or "tough!" and then a dialogue could be initiated until the subject is exhausted.

According to Twitter's raison d'etre, "Twitter asks one question, "What are you doing?" Answers must be under 140 characters in length and can be sent via mobile texting, instant message, or the web."

A word limitation of 140 characters is really asking a lot of a writer since we love to embrace words besides which, how could one properly express oneself in 140 characters? Then again there's the issue of how many people really want to know what anyone is doing at any given moment?

"I'm now loading the dishwasher," I could communicate to anyone who cares. Or "sitting in the dentist's office reading five year old magazines and waiting to have my yearly examination and my teeth cleaned." Wait a minute - is that more than 140 characters? See what I mean?

Somehow I now have John Mayer on my Twitter home page. Not that I'm objecting or anything because John is very easy on the eyes and I absolutely love his song, "Waiting On the World to Change." In addition I'm also subscribed to Wil Wheaton - remember him as Ensign Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation, which I still love btw - and George Stephanopoulos of ABC News. Still, it is curious how these three were selected for me.

Be that as it may, I'm listed somewhere in the Twitter directory if you happen to seek me out. However, darned if I can come up with anybody who would want to know what I'm doing within 140 characters and therefore have not approached or listed any friends.

Yet.

However, I'm atwitter if anyone asks.

Out of Viagra? Try rotten eggs instead

Keeping a dozen outdated and rotten eggs on hand in the refrigerator could come in handy during those special intimate occasions. According to researchers, the odor emitted by rotten eggs could be an alternative to Viagra. Seems that hydrogen sulphide prompts arousal in men with key nerve cells that release minute amounts of gas when a male becomes sexually aroused, causing blood vessels to relax and fill with blood. This is the process that sustains an erection.

University of Naples researcher, Professor Cirino is suggesting that it could be possible to develop drugs which will either deliver hydrogen sulphide or control hydrogen sulphide production.

"Of course, the hydrogen sulphide pathway represents a new therapeutic target for erectile dysfunction. These observations may lead to the development of therapeutic approaches in the treatment of erectile dysfunction."

The results, published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, are particularly significant since approximately one-third of men with erectile dysfunction do not respond to Viagra. It's believed that half of all men aged between 40 and 70 suffer from the problem at some stage.

Taking this to the extreme, if science and pharmaceutical companies do discover a way to bottle hydrogen sulphide in pill form, how could one distinguish whether males are passing gas or horny? Just wondering...

I say - cricket origins might not be British

Exciting news regarding a report with new academic research claiming that cricket isn't English (gasp!) but imported from northern Belgium.

The basis for this conclusion was a poem thought to have been penned in 1533, suggesting that its humble beginnings were in Flanders. The word attributed to one John Skelton, Flemish weavers are labelled "kings of crekettes" challenging the assumption that the sport evolved from English children's games, according to Paul Campbell of the Australian National University.

King of crekettes? Perhaps - just perhaps - the term didn't refer to cricket but - wait for it - croquettes, the food! I mean, the Belgians are known for their waffles. Somehow, maybe there was a cross or mixup...

Anywaaaaay...to get back to this surprising discovery... The first references to cricket turned up in England in the 1600's when fines were given out for people who opted to play cricket and missed church. A game played by a lot of Englishmen ended up in public schools and the universities of Oxford and Cambridge in the following century. Furthermore, the first cricket club was formed in Hambledon in the 1760s and the Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) was founded in 1787.

So now we all know the British origin of cricket. However...

German academic Heiner Gillmeister and an Australian colleague, claim the discovery proves the quintessential English pastime is anything but English.

In an apparent reference to cricket in the 16th Century work, The Image of Ipocrisie, attributed to the English poet John Skelton, refers to Flemish weavers who settled in southern and eastern England described as "kings of crekettes."

Again? Perhaps these Flemish weavers enjoyed croquettes for lunch, but does that make the game Flemish?

The assumption is that the weavers brought the game to England and played it close to where they looked after their sheep, using shepherd's crooks as bats.

Or perhaps they used over-cooked croquettes as balls or something... Go know!

Research conducted by one Mr. Campell, was based on earlier investigations by German academic, Gillmeister, a linguist from the University of Bonn, who believes that cricket couldn't have originated in England.

"There is no way to relate the term to any existing English word," he told the BBC.
"I was brought up with Flemish children and I know the language well. I immediately thought of the Flemish phrase 'met de krik ketsen' which means to 'chase a ball with a curved stick'."
In response, cricket historian David Frith said, "It is hard to deny that this is a breakthrough. This discovery points to an addition to the great history of cricket. It's exciting we haven't yet written the final word on it."

I don't know if this news falls in the "exciting" category but it's thought-provoking. Cricket...croquettes...makes one think, yes?

Whoopee! The sounds of flatulence

I've frequently questioned some members of the scientific community in as far as their knack to acquire funding for - um - unusual experiments or studies. This one stinks - really!

An acoustics professor from the University of Salford is asking the public to rate the funniness of whoopee cushion sounds in order to advance human understanding of faux flatulence - and raise money for Comic Relief.

The professor, Trevor Cox, designed a website that features twenty whoopee cushion sounds. Each visitor hears six of these sounds, and is asked to grade them accord to the extent they make them laugh.

Okaaaaaay... Personally, I don't find flatulence amusing but then perhaps I'm in the minority.
I mean - c'mon - gimme a break! Like - who cares and more to the point, how much did the good professor receive for his study.

Here is the site the professor set up to listen to the sounds first-hand and if you feel so moved, vote: http://www.salford.ac.uk/news/details/831

Why anyone would be interested in studying this subject is also a good question.

Female commuter flips out after missing plane - all on YouTube

These days a person really has to be careful what one does in public. Given the common usage of cell phones that can double as TV cameras, even an innocent action for example, like scratching an itch in a private part of the body or cleaning one's nose in public can become fodder for the world to see.


Take the case of a woman at the HongKong airport who "lost it" after missing her plane, now a big hit on YouTube with a registered 465,000 hits.

The video begins with the female passenger heading for the airport departure gate and pushing a female security guard in a frazzled attempt to make her flight. Upon the realization that she won't, the female begins banging on the desk, collapses on the floor, writhing and moaning in a high-pitched voice.


The woman was travelling on a Cathay Pacific flight to San Francisco on February 4, a Cathay spokeswoman said. In the end she took a later flight to Los Angeles.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbVw7entkxg

Snow joke - grandfather trucks snow to grandkids

At this point in the winter, most people living in the snow belt I'm sure, would gladly help out and make personal donations to help this man.

An Indiana man filled his pickup truck with snow and drove more than 700 miles to metro Atlanta just so his grandchildren could make a snowman.

Randi Dyer of Lawrenceville, Georgia, said her father loaded up his Chevy long-bed pickup with the white stuff and made the nine-hour trip to surprise his two granddaughters. But it wasn’t just the kids who got a kick out of seeing snow.

“I’ve been complaining all winter about not having snow,” said Dyer. She said her daughters, Bradleigh and Rileigh Graham, spent all morning building a snowman.

“My neighbors have been stopping to take pictures and wondering how we got snow in our yard,” said Dyer.

Initially, Dyer said her father, who was headed to Florida on a business trip, thought about filling up a cooler with snow.

“But Dad decided to take the truck and fill it completely with snow,” said Dyer. “Still, there’s nothing better than Indiana snow,” she said.

As a Canadian, may I state for the record that our snow is quality stuff, which unfortunately is available five months of the year. Perhaps this would be an interesting alternative or at least an addition to clearing the snow: offering residents living in the south the opportunity to come fill their trucks or whatever with snow. Free!

No mention of which state(s) he passed through but it's amazing that the snow didn't melt along the way.

Overdue library book an arresting experience

There are books that capture our imagination, which we read and re-read over and over. On occasion a library book can be stored away and forgotten about. Perhaps - pure speculation here - this was the case with Iowa resident, Shelly Koontz, who was arrested on a fifth-degree theft charge because she allegedly failed to return a collection of essays focusing on the struggles of inner-city Long Beach, California high school students. The book, "The Freedom Writers Diary" has a retail value of $13.95.

You read it right: arrested as in legal proceedings against her.

The president of the Jesup library board, Tom McGlaughlin, expressed the view that pursuing criminal charges against a user for an overdue library book is unusual, but there were also unusual circumstances that were out of the ordinary.

"There is more to this issue than is coming to light at the present time," McGlaughlin said.

Seems that library staff phoned Koontz four times requesting the book be returned plus library officials sent her three letters and a certified letter that Koontz refused to accept. Furthermore, a police office actually visited her home in the fall and told Koontz daughter that the book had to be returned or pay the price of the book.

In Iowa, a fifth-degree theft charge, a misdemeanor offense, carries a maximum penalty of 30 days in jail and up to a $500 fine. In Des Moines, which has the largest library system in the state, an overdue library book carries a fine of 25 cents per day with a maximum of $6 in fines. After 30 days, the book is considered lost and the offending patron is billed for the cost the book, said Sally Wisdom, Des Moines Public Library deputy director.

In some cases, unpaid fines and missing book losses are turned over to a collection agency that specializes in recouping library losses, but Koontz's book would not have been turned over because it cost less than $25.

The missing/mislaid book would not have required the services of a collection agency given its cost of less than twenty-five dollars, yet she was arrested ? Makes a personal wonder and scratch one's head!

The Jesup library has a fine system, but it does not have a collection agency because "it's just not needed," McGlaughlin said. Statistics on monthly overdue books at the Jesup library were unavailable, but McGlaughlin, who has been on the library board for 11 years, could recall no instance where an arrest was made for an overdue book.

Meanwhile, Koontz is free upon posting a $250 bond.

Although Koontz is at least morally responsible for forgetting to return the library book, allowing legal proceedings against her is a bit much. It will be interesting to learn about the circumstances of the case.

Coffee drinking a possible link to the dearly departed

Is there no end to all the new scientific data and findings that is supposed to improve but ultimately affect our every-day lives?

If you're a big-time coffee drinker, have you hallucinated lately or been visited by the dearly departed? According to a report, you might.

Seems that scientists at Durham University have linked too much coffee and caffeine in particular, to - well - seeing dead people. Seriously.

Actually- and why am I not surprised - the initial findings were discovered by UK researchers who seem to have access to funds for "interesting" projects. According to the research and of course it's not conclusive but enough to make coffee drinkers a little edgy, people who drink too much coffee could - notice the word could - start seeing ghosts or hearing strange voices.

People who drank more than seven cups of instant coffee a day were three times more likely to hallucinate or hear people speak when nobody was around, compared to low caffeine users, defined as drinking less than the equivalent of one cup of java per day. However, academics say the findings do not prove a "causal link".

Among the experiences reported were seeing things that were not there, hearing voices, and sensing the presence of dead people. Instead of gazing into a crystal ball or joining hands in a seance, perhaps participants should consider drinking a lot of coffee instead. Much simpler.

Presumably sensing there could be a sudden decrease in coffee sales, a Dr. Euan Paul of the British Coffee Association stressed that the study focused strictly on people with a very high caffeine intake. For the record herbal tea drinkers were not included but most likely, there will be yet more statistics that herbal tea causes visions of Elvis.

Finger length an omen of future earning success

One has to ponder how much money was allotted to the group conducting this study. More to the point it strikes me that British researchers seem to have access to a cache of funds for - how shall we say - unusual studies.

In this case scientists at Cambridge University, presumably through close-up studies, have deduced that a man's fingers could predict his future success. The researchers who studied the forefingers of financial traders, concluded that those whose ring fingers are longer than their index fingers make the most money.

Say what?

The link could be down to testosterone exposure in the womb, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences says.

This exposure may improve rapid decision-making skills and has been linked with aggression.
The same ring-to-index finger ratio, which is determined in the womb, has previously been
associated with success in competitive sports.

Researcher John Coates and his team reported last year that testosterone seemed to boost short term success at finance after they found City traders with higher levels of the male hormone in the morning were more likely to make an unusually big profit that day.

He said studies suggested similar associations with finger length are also seen in women.

The article on http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7825890.stm states that "when the researchers looked only at the experienced traders, those with longer ring fingers earned far more than those with shorter ring fingers - £838,000 compared to £154,000 on average, respectively."

Seems that Belgian researchers, not to be outdone by the Brits, have discovered that "men with longer ring fingers become less "socially minded" - less willing to give money to a fellow participant - after watching aggressive movies."

Who cares? Gimme a break!

I dunno. Given the current state of the economy around the world with people starving, becoming homeless and the loss of employment, why on earth would someone waste/conduct a study that focuses on fingers and their potential for whatever?

UFO experts claim further proof that "we" are not alone

Strange lights and sightings of unusual objects in the sky by local residents have a lot of people excited including UFO experts, convinced that we, as in humble earthlings, are not alone. At least that's the conclusion that some citizens of Conishiolme, north east Lincolnshire in England have decided. Shades of X-Files!

The ultimate proof according to believers, is an ear-piercing boom in the early morning hours with visual "proof" focusing on one of 60 foot blades from a 200 foot high wind turbine, which was ripped off and another left twisted and useless. One of the witnesses described the craft as "a 'massive ball of light' with 'tentacles going right down to the ground' over the wind farm..."

Tentacles? A leftover special effect from the "War of the Worlds" film, perhaps? Where's Tom Cruise when you need him?

The Ministry of Defence said it was not looking into the incident as there was no evidence of a threat to UK airspace. Where's Muldaur and Scully when you need them?

Photos of the damaged blades along with images of the lights in the sky and more details of the sightings can be found here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1108973/UFO-experts-believe-mystery-wrecked-wind-turbine-final-proof-alone.html


Update on UFO story: January 9. the government's explanation

The UFO allegedly responsible for wrecking a wind turbine could have been a secret unmanned stealth bomber on test flights.

Yeah-yeah-yeah... Yudda-yudda-yudda.

Where have we heard that story before? If it's so secret, how come so many people spotted it?

The claim came from Ministry of Defence insiders who reportedly said that a black delta-wing craft called Taranis was making test runs on the coastal bombing ranges at Donna Nook and North Coates in Lincolnshire, near to the site of the damaged turbine.

One assumes that we earthlings are expected to believe that the test craft was flown by rookie pilots who flew too low and accidentally sheared off the blade. The next explanation will be weather balloons.

The Taranis, named after the Celtic god of thunder, is about the same size as a Hawk jet and is equipped with stealth equipment and an 'autonomous' artificial intelligence system.

Celtic god of thunder? Yet another explanation for the "boom" heard by local residents? Thunder = boom?

The plane is being developed by BAE Systems and has been designed to deliver weapons to battlefields in other continents.

Another rumor has frozen urine dropped from the sky as the culprit. The UFO explanation is definitely preferable.

(source: Daily Mail, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1108973/Unmanned-stealth-bomber-UFO-responsible-destroying-wind-turbine.html)

Naughty words...beavers...popcorn perp

It's barely 2009 and already there's the realization that we live in a wacky yet interesting world.

"Could you perhaps share the reason for writing this statement?" someone reading this may feel compelled to ask.

Of course. That's the reason for keeping a blog!


Example #1

A male who took pen in hand to write abusive comments on buses and toilets about females he disliked, was recently banned from carrying felt tip pens and spray paint. Not that it makes a difference but the pen-perp who happens to live in Kent, England, is also banned from writing nasty or socially unacceptable comments and images (one can only imagine the images he drew) in public.

There was a method in his madness in that he wrote the bad words and/or artistic renderings and then drew it to the attention of the object of his dis-affection. Obviously, the victims were not amused.

Kent police reported that there was no rhyme or reason for his selection of victim other than spotting them on a bus or they had the misfortune of living or working nearby.


#2 Can't trust those beavers!

An escaped beaver that has been on the run since October, along with two of his beaver buds that have since been captured, is now to object of a hunt by conservationists. since he's been doing what beavers are prone to do and that is felling trees.

The owner of the farm where the beavers called home, actually keeps 24 beavers who are under the license from government agency, Natural England, as part of a wild life photography business. Meanwhile, the beaver is said to be responsible for gnawing down trees up to 20 miles away.

Actually - thinking further, it would be difficult if not impossible to place the blame on the escaped beaver unless of course, teeth impressions were taken. But I digress...

Furthermore, the owner plans to catch the escapee by using a number of "honey traps", boxes that have the scent of a female beaver.

"We've got traps being made up at the moment. Using the scent from one of the female beavers, we'll be able to catch the male beaver fairly quickly."

How cute. "Honey traps"...to lure unsuspecting beavers.

Hopefully, the beaver won't end up as a pair of sleeves.


#3 Butter or plain?

For Hansel and Gretel, it was a trail of bread crumbs but it was a trail popcorn that helped Sacramento police find a man wanted on a warrant.

The 21-year old man was taken into custody for a theft and suspicion of possession of stolen property.

Police officers found a trail of popcorn from the business that led them to an apartment located behind the store and followed the popcorn trail inside of one of the units.

See what I mean? Wacky world we live in...

A new and not-so-nice use for Jello

I dunno... We live in a very bizarre world these days.

A researcher at Montana State University says Jell-O, ultrasound, microwaves and electroshocking are among possible solutions to eliminate lake trout in Yellowstone National Park. Lake trout were introduced illegally into the park and threaten native cutthroat trout in Yellowstone Lake.

I'm wondering and let me state for the record that I'm not a fisher-person, why the two types of trout can't co-exist? Once again through human intervention and most likely because some people with a taste for lake trout thought it would be a good idea to introduce another specie here, we have a situation that should not have been created.

Also, I wonder how Jello feels about the negative image that its product could be used to eliminate a living specie.

Read the whole piece here: http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/081225/koddities/oddity_lake_trout_jell_o

Doggone shoplifter gets the bone

It's the holiday story that is making everyone smile.

There are your run-of-the-mill stories about people shoplifting items of supermarket shelves but this one can definitely be categorized as "different" or "daring" or even dog-gone nervy!

So a dog casually enters the Smith's Food and Drug supermarket in Murray, Utah. The dog, who appears to be a german shepherd, waits for the store's doors to open, strolls in with a determined gait and appears to know exactly where she/he wants to go. The object of this canine theft is the pet supply aisle 16 and a surveillance video caught the entire heist of a rawhide bone worth $2.79.

When confronted by store manager, Roger Adamson and ordered to "drop it!" the perp didn't bat an eyelash and made a quick exit out of the front door. The entire heist was caught on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anDvU530g2o

This begs the question as to why the perp... that is to say canine thief, chose this particular supermarket and whether he had cased the store earlier. More interesting, will the furry thief return for some dog toys and move up to bags of kibbles?

There is no information provided as to whether the thief has a record and nobody has phoned in any tips to help apprehend the perp...canine.

Talking turkey and it ain't a pretty picture

This could have been his last Christmas but due to the fickle finger of fate and what people perceived to be physicial imperfections, a turkey has escaped being the center piece on a holiday table.

The turkey, Wilbur, is missing tail feathers, has a misshapen body and if that's not bad enough, he walks with a limp. To make matters worse he lives on a "pick-your-own-turkey" farm in Totnes, Devon, England and is the only turkey left.

Leading a life of turkey can be so sad - and short.

The farm owner, Peter Hayford, explained that it was his - Wilbur's - first Christmas and under normal circumstances most likely it would have been his last, however, a lucky quirk of fate (that's what I call it) made him - Wilbur - unappealing to potential customers.

It was something about Wilbur's sad and bedraggled personna that made people turn away.

Some - most -a lot of people -would say that human rejection saved his life. Actually...thinking further, does it really make a difference in the scheme of things whether a turkey has a limp, or has feathers missing when it comes to flavor? But I digress...

The farm owner, Peter Hayford, said that "Wilbur will become one of the family. He might be an ugly old thing but we think he's lovely."

Sure it's easy for Hayford to say that now given his rejection by turkey selectors! Meanwhile, Wilbur has become somewhat of a celebrity and will live out his life, roast-free.


See a photo of Wilbur here: http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3132598.html?menu=

(J)elvis lives in a New York Chanukah show

According to the promos, it's going to be a hunka, hunka Chanukah show. He'll shake, he'll rattle and may have some people rolling in laughter in a fun Chanukah music performance to be held on December 25th.

We're talking here about Jelvis, the Jewish Elvis.

The event to take place on the fifth day of Chanukah, is part of the Sephardic Music Festival Light Up the Holidays on Xmas Day at the Highline Ballroom in New York City.

Jelvis, also known as "the King of Lox'n'Roll" will for this night, will put on his blue suede yarmulke (skull cap) and get the audience up and singing with such well known favorites as "Shul House Rock", "Are You Hungry Tonight" and of course, the very popular-ish, "Oy Vey, My Way."

Given that it's also the holiday season for everyone, he will be joined by his back-up group, the
Merry Meshugganah Maccabees and Guitar Hero, Hiro Keitora, belly dancer, Bahita and sword swallower, Adam First Readl Man. There was also be a special appearance by the puppet, Elfis.

A portion of the proceeds will go go Mazon: a Jewish Response to Hunger www.mazon.org

Meanwhile, if you can't make it, you can see the master in action here on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtbMA6ABb1M

Uh-huh...

Christmas is alive and well...but not in Lapland, England

Once again a story focusing on a negative Christmas-related incident that took place in Lapland New Forest theme park on the Dorset Hampshire border, England. Twenty-five staff members were told by their hiring agency to quit Lapland New Forest, while a gate worker fled after being assaulted.

Why were they assaulted, you're probably asking yourself.

Perhaps the assault-ees were somewhat justified given that the entrance was £30 or approximately $44, which offered participants and revelers... Actually not too much again according to those that were there.

One father was so mad - how mad was he? He was so angry having to line up for 4 hours that he - well - physically demonstrated his anger towards Santa. Oh my... As if that wasn't bad enough, three security guards were also attacked and a snowman was so upset with the verbal abuse he received that he just took off.

That's not all.

According to staff members two fathers went at each other in the Gingerbread House over - wait for it - the last 2 spoonfuls of icing sugar! Not sweet, guys! The worst, at least for some children, was catching Santa with his beard off smoking a cigarette. Still more, Santa refused to let children sit on his knee unless they coughed up some extra money.

Not nice!

A total of 1,475 people have joined groups slamming the attraction on social networking website Facebook.

Meanwhile, the RSPCA launched an investigation after dozens of complaints about the treatment of husky dogs, reindeers and donkeys on the site.

Santa - the real one - would not be pleased!

See the photo of Lapland entrance here: http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3107561.html

Bah humbug - Brownies banned from singing Christmas carols for pensioners

Some people just don't seem to get the concept of having the Christmas spirit. You reach out and do something nice for people and in turn it makes a person feel good. That's the way it's supposed to work.

The administrators who run the Marlowes Centre in Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire in (not so) jolly, old England could use a dose of holiday esprit. For nearly 20 years, Brownies and Girl Guides put on a carol concert for pensioners and the disabled at a shopping centre, however their joyous voices will be heard no more since the powers-that-be have deemed they were/are a safety risk. The risk in this case was the area around a 25 foot Christmas tree where the Guides used to sing. The approximately 100 girls were were/are considered a health and safety risk because they could obstruct fire escape routes.

See...lots of people - happy people and shoppers - used to stop and listen to the girls causing what they believe could be a bottleneck.

Bosses at the centre say a Christmas tree positioned outside New Look and new mobile trade stalls have limited the number of performers the centre can host at one time.

Marketing manager Eileen Gannon said, "with changes made to the centre's Christmas decorations and trade units there simply isn't space for a huge number of performers."

"We're disappointed, but our priority has to be the safety of people inside the centre."

The carolling has been taking place for 20 years and now suddenly they've become a risk?

She said the new rules were open to change in the future, as decisions made on decorations in the centre are different each year.

Another centre worker said: 'There were a lot of Brownies last year and they caused absolute chaos.'

What a wonderful example of holiday spirit they have set for the young Brownies! Maybe shoppers could consider showing their holiday spirit in ways that will make their feelings felt - $$$$$.

Experts study the line up...as in queuing

There are all types of queuing or lining up but it's doubtful that people would assess it as enjoyable...or interesting. For many of us having to wait in a line, for example, at the supermarket or buying fast food, is not a pleasurable experience especially when interlopers attempt to squeeze in front. But I digress.

Unbeknownst to most of us, lining up is now a subject of a study by experts in the field of queuing psychology.

Say what? Yup. Actually, one wonders what type of background would be required to be a line-up-psychologist.

A study is currently being done focusing on the psychology of the reaction of your ordinary people to lining up...and waiting for whatever.

The director of the Center for Engineering Systems Fundamentals at MIT, Richard Larson, believes that their findings may not always reduce wait times, but they can cut frustration and make people feel better . He should know having researched queuing psychology for more than twenty years.

Eliminating empty time, for example, makes waits seem shorter, Larson found in his research.

Visitors lining up for attractions at theme parks see this principle at work with queues that often use clever design and technology to make the line itself entertaining.

Read more about Larson's findings and theories here: http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/science/11/20/queuing.psychology/index.html

Personally, "line-jumpers" are the worst offenders but here's some basic queuing pschology 101:

- Occupied time feels shorter than unoccupied time

- People want to get started

- Anxiety makes waits seem longer

- Uncertain waits are longer than known, finite waits

Unexplained waits are longer than explained waits

- Unfair waits are longer than equitable waits

- The more valuable the service, the longer the customer will wait
- Solo waits feel longer than group waits

(Source: David H. Maister, "The Psychology of Waiting Lines")

Go figure that waiting in line is now considered a science!

There are liars...and then there are liars...

Some people call them fibs depending on the extent and depth of a made-up story. A fib is considered a small, trival lie but a lie is your grand daddy of a fib as in your new and never-met Nigerian friend left you a lot of money because of the spelling of your name.

It could be said that some people make an art of lying and this is the case with competitors who recently participated in the World's Biggest Liar Contest held at the Bridge Inn located in the English Lake District.

The origin of this contest dates back to the 19th century with one Will Ritson who lived and owned a pub in Wasdale Valley and had a reputation for telling stories about the heritage of the area. Some people believed his stories while others thought they were merely tall tales. Over the years Will's tales expanded to the point where it grew into "The World's Biggest Liar" competition held every November.

On November 20, liars from all over the globe gathered together at the Bridge Inn and when all the lies had been told, John "Johnny Liar" Graham took home the honors, again, for the 7th time.

Seven times... Those are some lies he must have told! Thinking further about this, one wonders if politicians are aware of this competition... I mean, it seems like a natural but I digress.

A local farmer, he clinched the title impressing 8 judges with a story/lie detailing the experience of a trip to Scotland in a wheelie bin (definition: A wheelie bin is a type of waste container and is made in several different types-Wikipedia) that went under the sea.

By the way did I mention there's a fortune waiting for everyone if your name contains the letters a, e, i, o, u and sometimes, y. Really...

Watch the liar in action in a video clip here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7741037.stm

Zoo claims poo is gold

For most pet owners, pet feces more commonly known as pet poo, is a by-product of sharing their lives with non-humans. They poop. You scoop and then it's into the trash can, however, the Toronto Zoo has devised a plan whereby they are turning animal feces into fuel.

Talk about recycling.

The zoo currently shares its premises with 5,000 residents and it is proposing to erect a plant to convert animal and food waste into biogas using bacteria.

According to Wikipedia, Biogas typically refers to a gas produced by the biological breakdown of organic matter in the absence of oxygen. Biogas originates from biogenic material and is a type of biofuel. Now you know.

"These bacteria are going to have a feast on this stuff, this feces that would have gone to waste and put the methane straight up into the air, and they're going to produce more methane quickly that we can use to shove through a generator and produce electricity," said zoo curator David Ireland. "This stuff is gold."

Read the rest of the story here: http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/cbc/081115/canada/toronto_zoo_poo_1

What's more the the zoo believes it could produce enough fuel to cover its own needs as well as those of a few thousand homes. They estimate the cost of building a facility to convert the poo into fuel would be $13 million to building, it could (always that darn word!) make money back in 5 years selling the end result being electricity.

Energy produced from cow manure at an Ottawa Valley dairy farm won a $50,000 innovation award from the Ontario government last year.

So far there have been no news reports of studies concerning the conversion of cat or dog poo being converted into fuel. Now that would be innovative!

Just how old is the dead parrot sketch?

A customer enters a pet shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Monty Python fans will recognize the above ramblings as part of the "Dead Parrot" sketch and now an ancestor of the famous comedy sketch has been discovered in a joke book that dates back to 4th century Greece.

Go figure but then again, not surprising given the range of subjects on the series.

Philogelos: The Laugh Addict, which has been translated from Greek manuscripts, contains a joke where a man complains that a slave he was sold had died.

"When he was with me, he never did any such thing!" is the reply.

In the Python sketch, written 1,600 years later, the shopkeeper claims the dead parrot is "pining for the fjords".

The 265 jokes in Philogelos are attributed to Hierocles and Philagrius, about whom very little is known.

Interesting item, actually, on how old (very) jokes and themes travel throughout the ages.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7725079.stm

The rest of the Dead Parrot Sketch for Python-ites can be found here:

http://www.mtholyoke.edu/~ebarnes/python/dead-parrot.htm

Other jokes in the book include:

- Someone needled a well-known wit: "I had your wife, without paying a penny". He replied: "It's my duty as a husband to couple with such a monstrosity. What made you do it?"

- An Abderite sees a eunuch talking with a woman and asks him if she's his wife. The man responds that a eunuch is unable to have a wife.
"Ah, so she's your daughter? "

- A misogynist is attending to the burial of his wife, who has just died, when someone asks: "Who is it who rests in peace here?".
He answers: "Me, now that I'm rid of her!"

I guess you had to be there at the time...

And for people interested in finding out about the contents of the allegedly World's Oldest Joke Book, Philogelos: The Laugh Addict, try here: http://publishing.yudu.com/Library/Au7bv/PhilogelosTheLaughAd/resources/index.htm?referrerUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fbeta.yudu.com%2Flibrary%2Fitem_details%2F19544%2FPhilogelos--The-Laugh-Addict---The-World-s-Oldest-Joke-Book

Keep in mind that humor is subjective.

Why not a first family cat for the Obamas?

Just wondering as I'm sure it does many others who have far too much time on their hands, why the pet of choice for first families is a pooch. Don't get me wrong - I'm a dog lover from way back - but it strikes me that there should be equality when it comes to choosing a pet.

According to news reports, President-elect, Obama, will be adding to the family with the selection of a new puppy. See what I mean?

When it comes to the actual selection, Obama said there were two priorities: to have a "hypoallergenic" breed that sheds less hair, because daughter Malia has allergies, and to have a rescue dog.

Nice to note that the first family is setting an example by choosing a rescue dog. Be that as it may, it would be nice I think, to perhaps consider also adopting a pet cat. After all, cats are easy to care for in that they are an independent lot. For example, a cat can be left on its own with food and water and really they're quite content, being independent by nature.

Taking it a step further, why not a pet bird? Parrots are very intelligent and talented birds. There's a lot of entertainment value when visiting heads of state come to call. Think of the impact of a dancing parrot like Snowball:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1j_fxs8mUcQ

Meanwhile, everybody is weighing in as to what type of dog the first family will choose and what name will they select.

Read the story here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/us_elections_2008/7714480.stm

The article includes background information about former White House pets - but no cats. Or parrots...or rats...hamsters...snakes...

Meanwhile, the Humane Society of the U.S. has some wonderful cats waiting to be adopted should there be a "first cat" in the White House: http://www.hsus.org/pets/pet_adoption_information/choosing_the_right_cat.html

They also have a very informative article focusing on how to select the right cat and/or dog here:
http://www.hsus.org/pets/pet_adoption_information/selecting_the_right_pet_for_you_pure_or_mixed_breed.html

Sarah Palin speaks to - um - Nicholas Sarkozy...in a way

So y'see...Governor Sarah Palin received a phone call from whom she believed to be French President Nicholas Sarkozy and they chatted about - let's see now... their common interest in hunting and geography with Sarkozy informing her that he can see Belgium from his home. You know - important political stuff like that.

After about 5 minutes of this fascinating exchange of information, Palin was subsequently informed that she was pranked by well-known Montreal radio pair, Marc-Antoine Audette and Sebastien Trudel who known as the Masked Avengers, who also pranked Mick Jagger among other celebrities in the past.

See photos of the pranksters here: http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/posted/archive/2008/11/01/204813.aspx

Meanwhile, enjoy the phone coversation here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_5V_-_aUZo

I did.

Angelfish receives life saving operation

As many fish owners/raisers/whoever will attest, sharing one's life with angelfish is...somewhat interesting. Visually, angelfish are attractive and their means of moving around the fish tank is graceful to watch. However...in the end, they are merely fish.

A couple of years ago - maybe more...one can never tell with fish - two angelfish, Frik and Frak shared a well-appointed tank in our den. Can't say that I played the role of "mom" to them as is the case with other non-watery species but they knew which way their fish food fell. I really liked those fish as much as one can like fish given their entertainment value, but this news item is really over the top. For the record, angelfish cost under $20.

I wonder about some Brits. Seems that an angelfish named Carla, underwent a £500 - five-hundred British pounds - life-saving operation to - wait for it - cure a hernia.

Go figure that a fish is even capable of having a hernia, never mind fixing it.

Anyway, Carla was anaesthetised before veterenarian Sue Thornton used a scalpel, needle and forceps to repair the hole.

I'm no fisher-person but doesn't one use a fish hook, which could be considered a needle-type device that tears a hole in... Well you get what I'm alluding to, here.

To return to the operation water was pumped through her (Carla, the fish) body and over her gills so she could breathe during the 30-minute procedure. She has now fully recovered.

Now I mean - c'mon! Life saving surgery to save a fish, even if it's a pretty angelfish? And a hernia operation to boot? What's next? Lung or gill transplant? Tail re-section?

James Oliver of London Aquarium, where Carla has lived for 10 years, said: "I guess it's a bit extreme to operate on a small tropical fish, but she's almost family."

Ms Thornton, who had two helpers, was called in after organs started to squeeze out Carla's side. She said: "I'm thrilled she survived."

I don't want to come accross petty or cynical here but given the cost of this operation/proceedure, a Carla II would have been a cheaper alternative.

See a photo of Carla under the knife in the true sense of the word, here: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1868442.ece

Basil the cockerel is living on borrowed time

It's not always an easy life for the aviary set, hence the expression, "for the birds." It's particularly applicable for a cockerel named, Basil, who has been given his walking - make that flying - orders by residents living in the neighborhood where the bird does his thing.

Seems that Basil, who arrived uncerimoniously in a garden six months ago and currently lives on a Gateshead, UK, housing estate, did what any healthy cockerel would do when the sun comes up, and welcome the day with some loud crowing. Really loud crowing. This didn't go over well with neighbors and complaints were registered with the Gateshead Housing Company and he was subsequently given his flying orders. Most of the residents according to reports, love him but he's got his detractors.

Thing is...Basil is considered livestock and under tenancy agreements, he must leave. Go tell that to the bird!

A spokesperson from the Gateshead Housing Company said: "Gateshead Council's tenancy agreement clearly states that tenants 'must not keep livestock, such as horses, donkeys, goats, pigs, cattle, ducks, geese and chickens at the property'.

"Also, 'animals must not cause a nuisance, annoyance or concern to anyone in the local area including any employee or agent of the council or the Gateshead Housing Company'.

However, Basil has received/is receiving help of the divine type from a group of local nuns who
live in a convent in Gosforth, Newcastle. Sister Mary, a nun at a convent in Gosforth in Newcastle, told her family that prayers had been offered.

There is even a Facebook page set up for Basil that you can join here:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=35567441405

Also, fans of Basil have written to Buckingham Palace requesting the Queen back their campaign.
The cockerel has until October 21st to vacate the area but how do you explain this in cockerel-ese?

See the bird in living color here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/tyne/7675829.stm

Hello? Anybody out there in space?

One wonders what aliens or non-human species living far (far) away in other galaxies (humming "Star Wars" theme) think about we humanoids of planet earth. Obviously, if they have the ability to study us from great distances, it would indicate a superior intelligence or at the very least they are far more advanced scientifically and technologically-speaking. Why they would be interested in us in the first place is another question worth pondering.

Being the curious earthlings that we are, we'd like to know who, if anybody, is "out there." To this end, messages were recently sent to a planet twenty light years from Earth in the hope that they will reach intelligent alien life. A giant radio-telescope in Ukraine transmitted 501 photos, drawings and text messages that usually track asteroids. The target is any planet deemed capable of supporting life.

Replies, which were compiled by Bebo, a social networking website, invited the network's 12 million users in the form of a competition, to send messages they would like extra-terrestrials to receive. Perhaps somebody - pure speculation on my part - sent the message: 'ET - phone home." Then again, maybe they didn't...

According to reports topics included the environment, politics, world peace, family relationships, Oprah (just kidding) and other stuff.

After being launched at 0600 GMT Bebo's mission commander Oli Madgett said the message "passed the Moon in 1.7 seconds, Mars in just four minutes and will leave our Solar System before breakfast tomorrow".

The beamed messages will be sent 120 trillion miles into space. Organisers hope the hi-tech package will reach its target - the planet Gliese 581C - in early 2029.

Rumor - strictly an unsubstantiated one - has it that when informed about the project, Sarah Palin said she can see Gliese 581C from her home in Alaska.

Read the entire story here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7660449.stm

If you want to send your own message via Bebo, here is the coordinates:
http://www.bebo.com/Search2.jsp?SearchTerm=a%20message%20from%20earth

No iffs or butts - filtering out the bad smells of life with Subtle Butt

We've all had those embarrassing moments after eating something gaseous like raw onions, chili, garlic, etc., which have causes - how shall we say - some smelly moments. No matter how hard we try to repress the odor with various physicial contortions, chances are somebody will get the drift. What's a person supposed to do?

Enter Subtle Butt, a garment filter that one places inside one's underwear or wherever (different strokes for different folks!) and worry now more, so claims the manufacturer.

According to the blurb, each 3.25" square filter is made of a soft fabric with an antimicrobial treatment on the side that touches the skin. The fibre is impregnated with activated carbon, which faces the underwear or the pants and has a large surface in which bad odors will get neutralized.

What's more, the people behind the product (excuse the bad pun) have taken to YouTube to promote their product with a video, replete with sound effects. Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcXp53Dk48Y

However, the noises remain. Oh well...

Some writers make BIG, big money - ask JK Rowling

As writers many of us dream about success and the subsequent riches that we hope - mainly dream - it will bring us. For most of us... Okay. A large portion of us, it remains in the dream stage. Then there's JK Rowling.

You know...she of Harry Potter fame? Would you believe that she makes £5 every second. Think of what this means! Every second the talented writer makes money even if she doesn't make or write one word! As a freelance writer it sometimes takes days to produce one decent piece of writing, not to mention having to shop it around in the hope of receiving compensation. She can, you know... if the mood hits her, write the letter "A" and the pounds roll in.

"What time is it?" she could ask somebody, during a casual conversation or sharing recipes. "Oh my - I just made five pounds... No - make that ten pounds. No - make that fifteen pounds..." You get the idea.

Impressive writer is an under-statement. Collectively, she has sold more than 400 million copies of her books world-wide making her the world's highest-earning author according to Forbes magazine. She made a total of $300 million last year alone.


Here's a list of the Top 10 Best-Paid Authors:

1. JK Rowling - $300m
2. James Patterson - $50m
3. Stephen King - $45m)
4. Tom Clancy - $35m
5. Danielle Steel - $30m
6. John Grisham - $25m
6. Dean Koontz - $25m
8. Ken Follett - $20m
9. Janet Evanovich - $17m
10. Nicholas Sparks - $16m

Source: Forbes magazine

By the way my name is NOT among them. Obviously it's an error (wink-wink).

Read an article on how Rowlings got where she is today here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/7626896.stm

PETA asks Ben & Jerry's to consider using human milk...uh-huh

This is another of those "not-quite-sure-about-this" stories - at least for me, anyway.

At one time or another many of us have indulged in a Ben & Jerry's ice cream treat safe with the knowledge that the source of the dairy product came from cows. Seems that PETA - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals - want ice cream lovers to have another choice, an unusual choice most would say.

Recently, PETA sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, the co-founders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc. requesting them or at least asking them to consider replacing cow's milk with - wait for it - human breast milk.

There are some that must like the idea since a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75% of cow's milk in the food that it serves. The idea, according to the PETA people, is to lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms.

While this is a very admirable aspiration on the part of the organization for sure, using breast milk, at least in my opinion, isn't exactly the most practical idea.

Let's say...for the sake of argument or hypothetically, Ben & Jerry's decided to include breast milk ice cream on their menu. This would entail babies having to share their only food source, at least the new-borns, not to mention new moms having to produce a whole lot of milk to make it viable. One can only speculate that if breast milk ice cream caught on with the public it could start a new industry including breast milk cheese, breast milk yogurt... You get the idea. At some point down the line cows could become obsolete, which would please PETA, but end up as a Sunday roast or on the barbeque, something that PETA would not want.

For its part a spokesperson for Ben & Jerry's thought it was admirable on the part of PETA to draw attention to the issue, they (Ben & Jerry's) were of the opinion that a mother's milk is best used for her baby. Amen.

Read the letters from PETA and Ben & Jerry's response here:
http://www.wptz.com/news/17539127/detail.html

"Facebook" - how many friends do YOU have?

By Eleanor Tylbor

In case anybody reading this is interested - I signed in/up/to Facebook. However, don't look for a photo because there isn't one posted for a few reasons:

a) no photo of me exists that has been doctored sufficiently to hide all my facial imperfections
b) I'm a very private person (true by the way) and prefer to remain a woman of mystery
c) even if I did have a decent photo among the others, I don't know how to post it with my profile

I signed up with Facebook because I'm nosey by nature and have to be a member of this group in order to keep abreast of all my aquaintances/enemies/etc. goings-on. There was a problem initially as to how much information I should provide and I decided to limit it. I mean, IMHO, there is no logical reason why anyone should want to know or should know my religion. Also, there is no logical reason why anyone should know about my political leanings.

So far I have approx. two dozen "friends." In order to get "friends" on Facebook, the person requesting the friendship has to receive permission from the potential "friend."

"Blah-blah added you as a friend on Facebook. We need to confirm that you know blah-blah in order for you to be friends on Facebook. To confirm this friend request, follow the link below..

The most ununusual request came from a virtual stranger who wanted to be my friend. Although his photo and name didn't ring a bell, I checked out his profile just in case we knew each other in earlier years but it was obvious we had never met. At least not in this world, anyway. So I refused his friendship and then worried I had hurt his feelings. I mean, what happens if he had no friends to speak of and reached out to me being a writer and a communicator, and I had rejected him! Oh the guilt of it all!

Through joining Facebook, I am now a member of a cooking group with the leader being a well-known cookbook author. Interested family members and close friends can surf on to my page and discover - well - nothing much to be candid.

There is a competitive element to Facebook in that it could become a competition as to the number of friends one has since the number of friends everyone has is posted for all Facebook members to view. I suppose in the end it's a kind of virtual voyeurism in that you can keep up with what Facebook-ers are doing at that particular moment, what's happening in their lives and all the latest news.

To think we had to depend on a humble telephone to do that for us not that many years ago! By the way - wanna be my friend?

Something new to worry about in cell phones

Perhaps out of habit and/or for the sake of convenience, some males reading this story, store their cell phone in talk mode in a pants pocket. It might be wise to re-think this habit since a new report reveals that mobile phones left on/in talk mode in said pocket can hurt sperm quality.

In a study semen samples from 32 men were collected and brought to the lab where the study was taking place. Each man's sample was placed into small, conical tubes and divided into two parts: a test group and a control group. The control group was unexposed to cell phone emissions, but kept under the same conditions and temperature as the test group.
The semen in the test group was placed 2.5 centimeters from an 850 MHz cell phone in talk mode for 1 hour. Researchers say that 850 MHz is the most commonly used frequency.
They used the measurement of 2.5 centimeters to mimic the distance between the trouser pocket and the testes.

Overall, researchers found an increase in oxidative stress such as a significant increase in free radicals and oxidants and a decrease in antioxidants. Agarwal says that equals a decrease in sperm's quality, including motility and viability. Evidence of oxidative stress can appear under other conditions, including exposure to certain environmental pollutants or infections in the urinary genital tract.

The findings are interesting so read the rest of the story here: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/conditions/09/18/cellphone.sperm/index.html

...and the entire study here: http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2008/images/09/18/effectsofradiofrequencyelectromagnetcwaves2008.pdf

Given the negative possibilities and findings, it wouldn't hurt guys to re-think storing their cell phones in pants pockets. They could be stored for example, in a jacket pocket. See...females have an alternative in that they can store them in their purses, which are also used by males.

As Roseanne Rosannadanna used to say: it just goes to show you, it's always something.

The God Particle - it's not nice to play God

It is seen as the most ambitious and expensive civilian science experiment in history, based on the biggest machine that humanity has yet built. That statement in itself is scary for we mortals.
There is the fear among many that this experiment could/might/may create a black hole, which could tear the earth apart.

The concept behind the construction of the largest man-made machine ever is to recreate ‘The Big Bang’ by accelerating particles to near light speeds in opposite directions and forcing them to crash into each other. The Large Hadron Collider -- a $9 billion particle accelerator designed to simulate conditions of the Big Bang that created the physical Universe, was switched on at 0732 GMT to cheers and applause from experts gathered to witness the event.

The first phase got underway on Wednesday and what is most unnerving is that the end result is unknown. How many times have we read/heard about experiments that went awry in spite of good intentions and controlled conditions?

For the love of me (and the rest of the world), I cannot see any sense in attempting to discover or duplicate the origin of the universe when there is so much at stake. I'm referring to the chance that the experiment could become unstable and - poof! - we become matter again. Given the problems in the world today and the amount of people who are dying of starvation all over the globe, a better experiment would be to see how many people can be saved and how many stomachs can be filled.

Be scared. Be very scared.

Photos of Large Hadron Collider here:
http://www.cbc.ca/technology/story/2008/09/05/lhc-safety.html

Heavy metal...C&W? Taste in music indicates personality type

Playwright William Cosgrove wrote, "music has charms to sooth a savage breast" and according to Professor Adrian North of Heriot-Watt University, musical taste is an indicator of personality type.

Sounds plausible.

The good professor recently conducted a study involving 36,000 people around the world and he found that a person's taste in music is related to her/his personality. In Professor North's words, the research is "significant" and "surprising."

It suggested classical music fans were shy, while heavy metal aficionados were gentle and at ease with themselves.

Participants in the study were asked to rate 104 musical styles and questioned about aspects of their personality. So why conduct the research you're probably asking yourselves?

"If you know a person's music preference you can tell what kind of person they are, who to sell to.

If you have some spare time, the study is continuing and Prof North, who is head of the university's department of applied psychology, is still looking for participants to take part in a short online questionnaire here:

http://www.peopleintomusic.com/

Interesting that the questionnaire has two categories for those people between the ages of 16-23 and those older than 24.

Here are some of his findings:


MUSICAL STYLES VERSUS PERSONALITY TRAITS
BLUES
High self-esteem, creative, outgoing, gentle and at ease

JAZZ
High self-esteem, creative, outgoing and at ease

CLASSICAL MUSIC
High self-esteem, creative, introvert and at ease

RAP
High self-esteem, outgoing

OPERA
High self-esteem, creative, gentle

COUNTRY AND WESTERN
Hardworking, outgoing

REGGAE
High self-esteem, creative, not hardworking, outgoing, gentle and at ease

DANCE
Creative, outgoing, not gentle

INDIE
Low self-esteem, creative, not hard working, not gentle

BOLLYWOOD
Creative, outgoing

ROCK/HEAVY METAL
Low self-esteem, creative, not hard-working, not outgoing, gentle, at ease

CHART POP
High self-esteem, not creative, hardworking, outgoing, gentle, not at ease

SOUL
High self-esteem, creative, outgoing, gentle, at ease

Death row prisoner opts for unusual last meal

Once again, the only phrases that spring to mind upon reading this story is "gimme a break" followed by "I dunno.."

It's not uncommon for prisoners on death row to ask that their last meal be favorite foods like steak, fried chicken, cream pie...before they check out of this world. However, fish food definitely falls into the unusual category, especially when the request specifies that the prisoner be turned into fish food and fed to your run-of-the-mill gold fish.

This is exactly what convicted murder, Gene Hathorn requested if his final appeal fails. This begs the question as to why would he want to become fish food. Right?

Actually, it's all the name of art and he has given permission to allow artist, Marco Evaristti, to use his body as an 'art installation" that will be part of a larger project focusing on capitol punishment.

Fish food...capitol punishment...? Is there a connection I missed?

The artist who lives in Denmark, will deep freeze Hathorn's body following which it will be turned into fish food. Once this is achieved visitors to his exhibition will be able to feed - well - the former Hathorn to a shoal of goldfish.

It is hoped that work will begin within a year if Hathorn is refused an appeal for the third time and he hopes he can stage the show in North America, somewhere like the Museum of Modern Art in New York.

O-kaaaaay... For sure the museum will jump at the opportunity to display feeding goldfish. It's so...artsy (cough-cough...).

Read the entire story, which includes the legal ramifications of this type of request and other related information here:
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/2/story.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10530546

No swat - flies know when they're being stalked

by Eleanor Tylbor

One can hear them flitting around the room, the drone of their buzz reaching human hearing range. The "normal" reaction is to grab the nearest object and wait until they are within swatting range in an attempt to rid the source of the annoying noise. The end result, however, for the most part is the fly lives to fly another day.

Once again and all in the name of important scientific research, U.S. scientists think they have solved the mystery of why flies are difficult to swat.

Given the scientific and medical issues and questions requiring their attention, one would think that there are more pressing issues than studying why harrassed humans miss swatting flies. Be that as it may...

They think - presumably unproven - that the fly's ability to sustain its life cycle is due to its fast acting brain and ability to plan ahead. Go figure that flies can plan ahead!

The study includes high speed, high resolution video recordings revealing that the insects quickly work out where a threat is coming from and prepare an escape route. Furthermore,
the research suggests that the best way of swatting a fly is to creep up slowly and aim ahead of its location.

So, the swat-er being the human, must anticipate the landing spot of the swat-ee being the fly, and wait and hope that the fly will at some point land in the vicinity of the waiting newspaper/ fly swatter/whatever, to hit the mark.

Read the entire story for hints on more effective fly-swatting and an explanation on how the research was conducted here:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7586868.stm


The study has been published in the journal Current Biology. One wonders how much money was involved in this important scientific research.

For those who care, see a close up of a fly's head here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/8463947@N08/701598636/

Barbie and company win big bucks and we're not talking about monopoly money

After a legal fight that left Barbie, the plastic fashionista and her rivals, the Bratz not on speaking terms, Barbie's "parent", Mattel, was awarded $100 million dollars in damages from MGA Entertainment, the creator of the popular Bratz, in a copyright spat.

The award followings a ruling in July that MGA and its CEO, Isaac Larian, stole conceptual drawings of the Bratz, who are now more popular than Barbie and friends. The federal jury involved in the case also ruled that Bratz designer, Carter Bryant had the idea while still working for Mattel, also finding that MGA aided in breach of contract and that Larian played a role in the deal.

Such goings-on but read the whole story here:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/main.jhtml?xml=/money/2008/08/28/cnbratz128.xml


Barbie reacts in a press conference

Barbie, obviously disturbed by all the legal wranglings, was concerned how this would affect her image.

"I'm just happy it's all over," Barbie commented in a hastily called press conference after the ruling. "Now we can get back to what's really important in life: this year's fashions."

Her signifigant-other, Ken, also seemed relieved although it was difficult to tell at times.

"What was the question?" Ken asked and finally after staring off into space repeating the phrase, "surfing rules!"

"You know the Bratz are nothing but interlopers who are trying to horn in on my territory!" Barbie jumped in while distributing photos of herself, Ken and G.I. Joe. "Now you look at us! Aren't we more beautiful than...than...them?" she asked members of the press while signing each photo.

"You tell them babe!" added G.I. Joe who was listening and watching from the back of the room . "Any of youze reporters give my Barbie bad press will have to deal with me!"

The room was almost cleared when a hand grenade propelled from somewhere in the room landed near the reporters. However, the press conference continued upon the realization that it was a toy.

"How about the fact that Yasmin, Jade, Cloe and Sasha have knocked you out of first place," she was asked, "and they have their own TV series and a feature film."

"All a bunch of lies!" Barbie retorted.

"Also...aren't they much younger than you?" another reporter asked. "Aren't you - like - almost fifty?"

"Age has nothing to do with it. Look at me - do I look like I've aged? Not one wrinkle anywhere. Anyway, that's a lie too."

Suddenly, the press conference ended as fast as it had begun. Barbie was over-heard to have asked Ken as they exited, "do I look old?" to which Ken replied, "surf's up!"

Pooches audition for doggie choir

Here's some news that might make you wonder, "what the..."

Some people enjoy singing or at least limit their singing in the shower, while others prefer to blend their voice as a member of a choir. Then there are others of the non-human types like dogs who recently auditioned in the hope of being part of a chorale.

You read it right: D-O-G-S as in bow-wow...woof-woof.

This project is the concept of one Cardiff-based artist, Richard Higlett, who is hoping and planning for his canine choir to record in September, before an actual performance in a special concert in October.

The choir will create and perform a new song entitled, "A Song for Jack" a musical tribute to dog hero, Swansea Jack, a black retriever and hero pooch in the 1930's that was a legend for rescuing drowning swimmers from Swansea docks.

Judges auditioned dogs eager to earn a place - or their owners were eager for them to earn a place - in the choir at the National Waterfront Museum in Swansea. The auditionees all had to start singing after hearing a piece of music or after a direct command.

There is no information available as to who made the final cut but word has it that they all had a barking good time.

Watch some of the auditions here:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/south_east/7566950.stm

Recognize any of the songs? Happy Birthday perhaps? Any?

"Black hole" mystery solved

There was a piece on the BBC.com science site focusing on the mystery of the black hole. Scientists have focused, discussed and analyzed the black hole mystery for a long time. Now they think they have an answer:

"Astronomers have shed light on how stars can form around a massive black hole, defying conventional wisdom.

Scientists have long wondered how stars develop in such extreme conditions. Molecular clouds - the normal birth places of stars - would be ripped apart by the immense gravity, a team explains in Science magazine. But the researchers say stars can form from elliptical discs - the relics of giant gas clouds torn apart by encounters with black holes. They made the discovery after developing computer simulations of giant gas clouds being sucked into black holes like water spiralling down a plughole."

While this is very good news for people who devote their lives in this scientific sphere, we "dull normals" have had the answer to this enigma since the birth of the automatic clothes washing machine.

Black holes are the place where one-socks from a pair disappear and are never seen again. It's so simple and logical one wonders why scientists have never considered this possibility. Although they may be loathe to admit it, probably every household all over the world has a collection of one-sies that could date back possibly to the turn of the century, even!

"Their findings are in accordance with actual observations in our Milky Way galaxy that indicate the presence of a massive black hole, surrounded by huge stars with eccentric orbits. "

It would have to be eccentric orbits in order to transfer so many socks from point 'A' being a house to point 'B', being the aforementioned hole in space. Somehow, perhaps through molecular breakdown of sock fibres in the clothes dryer, socks end up in said black hole. Of course it's only a theory and definitely not scientific in nature but then what is?

Read the entire story and decide for yourselves here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7574255.stm

Now you know.

Puerto Rican man remains upright - even in death

This is yet another of those "I-dunno-'bout-this' type of stories that you read and wonder, "why?"

A man who lived in Puerto Rico was granted his final wish, which was to remain standing even in death.

You read it right: even in death.

This feat was accomplished by a funeral home that used a special embalming treatment to keep the corpose(!) of one Angel Pantoja Medina, in an upright position during his 3-day wake.

Now anyone reading this can imagine the impact of dropping by to give your sympathy and being met by the dearly departed dressed in a Yankees baseball cap and sunglasses, in his mother's living room.

His brother Carlos told the El Nuevo Dia newspaper the victim had long said he wanted to be upright for his own wake.

"He wanted to be happy, standing."

According to the funeral home who took care of the arrangements, the mother did this to fulfill her son's last wish.

Now perhaps it's just the cynic in me but why would someone - granted he died young - want to be propped up against a wall when she/he dies? Certainly - pure speculation - visitors must have been shocked.

Different strokes for different folks, especially those who are corpses.

Photos of the corpse, visitors and story here: http://www.islandpacket.com/weirdnews/story/582626.html

That's SIR penguin to you, bud!

There are many people who have been knighted - Sir Paul McCartney springs to mind, Bono, Sir Michael Caine...and others. There's a lot of pomp and circumstance involved, which includes a ceremony where swords are involved. No sword play or anything dangerous - just some touching here and there.

Nils Olav who lives in Edinburgh, Scotland, has already acquired medals for good conduct and years of faithful service and was even made a honorary colonel-in-chief of the elite Norwegian King's Guard in 2005. This in itself is a lifetime achievement but what makes Mr. Olav stand out in the true sense of the word, is that Nils is a - wait for it - penguin.

You read it right: a penguin as in black, white and flippery.

As expected, there's a history connected to how he achieved this honor with the original Nils Olav who was made an honorary member of the King's Guard in 1972, after being picked out as the guard's mascot by lieutenant Nils Egelien. The guards adopted him because they often toured the zoo during their visits to the Edinburgh Military Tattoo, an annual military music festival, according to zoo spokeswoman Maxine Finlay.

The king penguin was named after Egelien and Norway's then-King Olav V. When the penguin died — Finlay said no one at the zoo knew exactly when — he was replaced by a second penguin, who inherited Nils Olav's name and rank.

The current Nils Olav III, the third penguin to serve as the guards' mascot, was promoted from honorable regimental sergeant major to honorary colonel-in-chief in 2005, Finlay said.

It was all very proper and royal-like with the ceremony actually starting on Friday morning with speeches and a fanfare before Nils arrival under escort with the King's Guard Color Detachment. Nils then reviewed the troops lined up outside the penguin enclosure at the zoo, waddling down the row of uniformed soldiers, occasionally stopping to crane his neck and peer inquisitively at their crisp uniforms before being guided forward by his handler.

Nils was then knighted by British Maj. Gen. Euan Loudon on behalf of Norway's King Harald V. Loudon dropped the king's sword on both sides of Nils's black-and-white frame, and the penguin's colonel-in-chief badge, tied to his flipper, was swapped for one symbolizing his knighthood.

Rumor has it that fish was on the banquet menu - raw of course. At least Sir Nils never has to worry about wearing a tuxedo for formal occasions.

See a photo of SIR Nils Olav, the Edinburgh Zoo penguin and Colonel-in-Chief of the Norwegian King's Guard, here:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080815/ap_on_fe_st/odd_penguin_knighted

and here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2008/aug/15/norway?gusrc=rss&feed=networkfront

A tale of two cities: Birmingham city council makes boo-boo on its location

Seems that the members of Birmingham City Council aren't sure exactly where their city is located.

More to the point in a recent marketing campaign to promote the achievements of residents and their participation and achievements in recycling, somehow the city council of Birmingham, England instead promoted the city of Birmingham, Alabama, U.S.A.

It must have been really embarrassing since the photos that were supposed to show places like the Selfridges building and the Rotundra located in the UK city, instead showed a shot of downtown Birmingham, Alabama.

Go figure that they look exactly the same...at least to some people.

The error was spotted by a resident of Birmingham - the UK city - who just happened to be a regular visitor to the U.S. location, and upon retrieving a pamphlet stuffed in his mailbox noticed what was supposed to be a photo of Birmingham, UK. but was instead the American city. Upon further checking it out in Google, he found the very same photo as on his pamphlet but this one was in Birmingham, Alabama.

That's some mix-up!

Initially, City Council officials claimed no mistake had been made and the "generic skyline [was] intended to symbolise an urban area".

Of course! After all - a city is a city is a city, even if it's in another country! I knew that! Didn't you?

A spokesperson who was not named (what a surprise) commented: "We accept that the wrong photo was used, but the text and detail contained in the leaflet is wholly correct which is the most important message."

Of course. The medium is the message...unless it's in the wrong place.

Young chinese girl deemed not pretty enough to sing at opening of Olympics

If ever the expression "gimme a break!" was appropriate, it's the latest news that the little girl who was slated to sing at the opening ceremony, 7-year-old Yang Peiyi, who is believed it just so happens to have the best voice, was replaced since her replacement was more...how shall we say...TV-friendly. Meaning that lip synching was used to match the voice to another face. What a display of sportsmanship!

Perhaps the powers-that-be have forgotten the purpose in holding the Olympics in the first place.

This from CBSnews.com: "A 7-year-old Chinese girl was not good-looking enough for the Olympics opening ceremony, so another little girl with a pixie smile lip-synched "Ode to the Motherland," a ceremony official said - the latest example of the lengths Beijing took for a perfect start to the Summer Games."

Full story here: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/08/12/world/main4344591.shtml

As if this wasn't enough to make a person spit - read the entire story - seems that those beautiful opening fireworks were helped along with the addition of digitally inserted images for TV. Kind'a makes a person wonder how much of the competition is real.

Well, doesn't it?

Kangeroo burger anyone? Pass!

I dunno about this one.

I'm beginning to ponder - correction - not beginning... I ponder the thought process of some scientists (not all).

Seems that there's a school of thought by one Australian scientist no less, that switching from - wait for it - beef(!) to kangeroo burgers/flesh can significantly help in reducing the greenhouse gas.

Huh? Say what?

Kangeroo? As in those cute adept jumpers with big feet and built-in handy pockets?

Are we as in your ordinary North American or even European and beyond, expected to actually eat those animals??? Can't speak - or write - for others but for me it's a big: NOT!

According to a report the methane gas produced by sheep and cows through burping and flatulence is stronger than carbon dioxide in the damage it can cause to the environment. Furthermore, kangaroos produce virtually no methane because their digestive systems are different. Dr George Wilson, of the Australian Wildlife Services, urges farming them.

Oh the horror of it all! Raising 'roos for the specific purpose of food for humans. It's so-so...canibalistic, IMHO.

Sheep and cattle account for 11% of Australia's carbon footprint and over the years, there have been various proposals to deal with the problem.

Problem?

Since when did kangeroos become a problem?Australia already produces 30 million kangaroos farmed by landholders in the outback. What next? Panda burgers?

This begs the question as to where and what all the sheep and cows living on planet earth are expected to do with all the accumulated gas? Perhaps - just a suggestion - if a ways could be discovered for all that smelly air to be made commercially viable, we wouldn't be discussing eating 'roo meat. Right?

When it comes to politics, Paris Hilton is not amused

Humor is subjective in that what amuses one person, will be considered offensive to another. In the world of politics it appears everyone is fair game, especially if you're a rich and high profile celeb who usually loves the limelight, like Paris Hilton.

Seems that Paris's feelings were hurt since her image was used along with Britney Spears who is also no stranger to media attention, in an ad by the McCain team.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_Za-Mx1y3A

Being Paris and all, she has created her own video in the way of a response: "an ad for the Presidential Campaign. Paid for by Funny or Die."

Actually, it's very entertaining - and funny -and maybe Paris should consider giving up her so-called show-biz aspirations and consider a change to a political career. Here's what she had to say:

http://www.funnyordie.com/

Scary thought. Given her access to $$$, what happens if she does decide to go into politics - and succeeds!

Smile! The Brangelinas price is $14 million

So y'see...Angelina Joli and Brad Pitt, two very popular i.e. hot, personalities right now recently had twins. Like most parents they are proud of their offspring and want to immortalize their newborns in photos. What makes these particular children unique is that their photos are rumored to be worth $14 million dollars on the market.

People magazine nabbed the rights and guaranteed they will sell lots of magazines.

"A person involved in the negotiations for pictures of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's newborn twins says the rights have fetched $14 million.

The person asked not to be named because he was not authorized to release the figure. People magazine scored the photos in a joint deal with the London-based Hello! magazine, and the two will split the bill.

It is the second time People magazine has won the North American rights to the couple's exclusive baby pictures in exchange for a hefty donation to charity."

Read the story here: http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Movies/08/01/brangelina.photos.ap/index.html